Because I Said So

[azgal81]

I don't think because I said so is something I would say to my child. I would give them reasons so they know and understand. To me becuase I said so is just a way to get the child to be quiet it's not a valid reason.

 

[tiggersmom2]

There's a time and place for everything. I like to use reason on Dierdre but sometimes it just doesn't work. At that point I use either, "Because I said so,", of my personal favorite, "Because your sister is my favorite." The look of utter disdain the first time I said that was priceless. I don't care if they need therapy...

Holy crap that is lmao funny.... I'll have to use this on my kids next time...

 

[Caleb's Mom]

I don't use "Because I said so" I use "Because I'm the supreme ruler of the universe." I don't use it often but only when warranted. Sometimes 5 year olds are just that--kids, they are not little adults and it's okay to say, "Because I'm the surpreme ruler of the universe."

 

[mrsltg]

--kids, they are not little adults and it's okay to say, "Because I'm the surpreme ruler of the universe."

Oh no... sometimes I say that to my husband. Is that bad?

 

[powellrj]

I opened this thinking it was a review of the new Diane Keaton/Mandy Moore movie!!!

Yes I have said it before and I will say it again. My kids like it when I say it because usually they say I over explain things! They will tell me to tell them yes or no, they don't need all the "sitcom lectures." Thats my DSs new favorite phrase.....Mom your talking like a sitcom again.....Mom thats a sitcom phrase......Mom we don't need a sitcom answer. When I over do anything its a sitcom moment.

 

[lyzziesmom]

Not only did I grow up hearing that one, I also got "Do as I say and not as I do" and "As long as you live under my roof..." and my all time favorite when none of their negotiation skills worked, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about."

I know this isn't quite on topic, but thought I'd pass it on anyway, because it brought back some memories!

I didn't read the whole thread yet, but now I'm wondering if my parents had another child I didn't know about! I've heard ALL of these... in fact, sometimes I still hear them (except the living under their roof one, since I don't.)

I hated "because I said so" so much that I NEVER say it to my kids. However, I do often say "because that's the rule," which is essentially the same thing. It seems a little more dignified to me.

 

[rt2dz]

NOTE: All I have read is the OP.

I find that when I say "because I said so" it is because I don't feel like explaining the reasoning or think my kids will get it. I have also found, that whenever I DO explain the reason, they are much more likely to obey without question/whining.

The "because I said so" thing, imo, actually lessens the rule/authority you have. They think it is arbitrary and just to be mean. If they do understand you have a reason, even if they don't agree with it, they at least understand that you aren't just trying to make their life miserable.

Kids aren't dumb. They get way more than we give them credit for. Even at 2, I was always surprised at how well they "got" what was going on around them.

In the end though, if ever there is a battle (and brushing teeth is just a simple mean-moms-make-you-brush-every-day battle with DS5) I will tell them "I am THE MOM/MOMMY and THE MOM/MOMMY is the boss. And you always have to listen to the boss." Heck, I own them until they graduate high school and then I'm renting them until they graduate college; I don't care what age they are!

 

[Cool-Beans]

There's a time and place for everything. I like to use reason on Dierdre but sometimes it just doesn't work. At that point I use either, "Because I said so,", of my personal favorite, "Because your sister is my favorite." The look of utter disdain the first time I said that was priceless. I don't care if they need therapy...

I do that, too! But I say, "Because I like him better than you." Works as well!

 

[DVCLiz]

I do that, too! But I say, "Because I like him better than you." Works as well!

I haven't read any of this thread, but I must say this is one of my best parenting tips for a whiny sibling. Stops them dead every time, doesn't it? It makes my daughters so mad they forget what they werer unhappy about....

 

[Acklander]

I've always given a reason though usually a brief one, and don't allow arguments. I don't mind them asking why as I think it's a fair question, but once I've given my reason, that's the end of it. Example:

Child: Can I jump of the roof?
Me: No
Child: Why not?
Me: It's a health and safety issue (or a manners issue, or a society rule etc...)
Child: But I'll be careful
Me: It doesn't matter if you're careful. This isn't debatable, you asked, I answered, and you have your reason why, end of discussion.

They have all learned that once I say end of discussion, I really mean it - no exceptions. I don't get into long drawn out debates about it, but will start yelling if they badger me (normally I'm not a yeller, but badgering me drives me up the wall)

All this being said - For the most part I really do just say no if there is a legitimate reason for a no. I save it for the important things. If it's not a big deal I like kids to find their own way and their own reasons on why to do or not to do things.

 

[Disney Doll]

My parenst said it to me on occasion growing up, and I am not a serial killer, respect authority, am not afraid to speak my mind, and know the difference between right & wrong, so I can't imagine that it can be that harmful, unless of course you don't allow your child to make a move "because I said so".

But any parenting thing used to an extreme can be harmful, counterproductive etc.

 

[Tinks_gang]

Why don't kids come with a manual???

 

[nhrenee]

There's a time and place for everything. I like to use reason on Dierdre but sometimes it just doesn't work. At that point I use either, "Because I said so,", of my personal favorite, "Because your sister is my favorite." The look of utter disdain the first time I said that was priceless. I don't care if they need therapy...

DH says "because I love him/her better" Then my ds or dd will roll their eyes!