Bat Mitzvah ??s

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
multiples of 18 is easy to eplain.

in Hebrew, each letter has a numerical value. when you write the number 18 in Hebrew letters, it spells the word "chai", which means "life" (you know, like you say l'chaim when you toast someone -- l'chaim, to life.)

thanks for the explanation...NEVER would have figured that one out.

honestly - I don't think many catholics may know this...

did anyone know this before reading it? Or was I just clueless for the last 14 years of my life?

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

OK one more question, does it have to be in multiples of $18.00 or is a round number ok?

 

[kasar]

This is not a new thing, I went to my fair share of bat mitzvahs back in the 70's and they were just as elaborate. Some were small family celebrations, others were blow-out affairs with all the works. I remember having fun at both.

It's a celebration of a very important milestone. How the family decides to celebrate it is their own business. If they can afford it and want to do something elaborate that's their business and we get to be the lucky recipients of that generosity. Go, have fun, enjoy. Give whatever gift you're comfortable giving.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by stinkerbelle
did anyone know this before reading it? Or was I just clueless for the last 14 years of my life?

I don't think you were clueless. I only knew it because I had lots of Jewish friends in college.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Originally posted by MOMTOMOOTOO
Wow, did not mean to start a debate just was looking for some tips. The bat mitzvah girl is the daughter of one of my husband's partners. The reason I know all about the festivities is beacuse of his secretary. She pretty much planned it all I have not heard of alot of these things either, but it sounds fun. My 7yo can't wait to make a cd and I can't wait to drop the 2 y/o and the 4 y/o off at the "kids club"


Thanks again for the replies. I am now ready to tackle our first bat mitzvah. And dosney, I assure you this is not a fake post

several of the kids at my dd's party made 2-3 or even more CD's. it really kept them busy. especially the boys -- most of them don't dance, and if they weren't busy with something they'd probably get into mischief.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by stinkerbelle
thanks for the explanation...NEVER would have figured that one out.

honestly - I don't think many catholics may know this...

did anyone know this before reading it? Or was I just clueless for the last 14 years of my life?

Nope, it's not just you -- this Catholic boy didn't know it either.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Originally posted by MOMTOMOOTOO
OK one more question, does it have to be in multiples of $18.00 or is a round number ok?

if you were planning to write a check for $100, you might write it in the amount of $118 instead -- for luck. but you don't have to do that. whatever you give will surely be appreciated.

 

[marlasmom]

Stands, claps and cheers for Briar Rose' response to Doesney.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
if you were planning to write a check for $100, you might write it in the amount of $118 instead -- for luck. but you don't have to do that. whatever you give will surely be appreciated.

Wait - is it multiples of $18, or "18" appearing in the amount? Because $118 doesn't divide by 18... *confused*

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

ok, here's how we do it.

if you were going to give $15, you'd give $18. if you were going to give $35, you'd make it $36. if you were going to give $100, you do $118. if you were going to do $130, you'd do $136. and so on.

 

[caitycaity]

did anyone know this before reading it?

i knew it, but i'm not catholic.

 

[SyracuseWolvrine]

My sister celebrated her bat mitzvah last summer ... her service was a bit shorter, only an hour and a half (and she only lead about 30 minutes of it, but it's still an accomplishment), and her party was something both the adults and kids could enjoy. The party was held at a local hands-on museum that will let it's members rent the entire facility for private parties. All of the regular museum exhibits were available ... the adults had a room downstairs with lots of tables and a fairly fancy food service (about what you'd find at a wedding reception), and a small dance floor, and jazz trio. For the kids, there was a room upstairs with pizza, pop, and a dj. We also had a karaoke room available ... one of the little home karaoke machines hooked up to a tv so you could see the lyrics, and our vhs camcorder to let the kids have a tape of their "performance". That went over fairly well among the kids. A lot of people said the museum was a great/unique idea for a party.

As far as presents, when I celebrated my bar mitzvah, the average gift was in the $50-75 range ... some people gave it as a check, others gave savings bonds. I got some gift certificates to local stores, 1 or 2 nice pens, and even some clothes. $150 would have been a pretty high dollar-value gift, certainly higher than average

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I've only ever been to one Bar Mitzvah. A family invited me from the JCC (pool& gym) where I belong. I'm not Jewish, so I wasn't familiar with the ceremony. It's great to be able to observe what different religions do. I gave a small gift. I got the impression that anything thoughtful was appreciated. have fun!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

your sister's party sounds like a lot of fun, syracuse!

last year, when dd was "on the circuit" she went to one party at an aquarium.

in our neck of the woods people generally use a d.j. and m.c. at bar/bat mitzvah parties.

 

[frndshpcptn]

Ithink a kid gratuating from high school is a bigger event and accomplishment than someone turning 13.

I'd just like to mention that a bat mitzvah is not just a party for turning 13. As Briar Rose pointed out, it takes a lot of hard work to become a bat mitzvah. On top of school work, I had hebrew school classes 3 days a week for 2 hours a day for several years. Then, the year of my bat mitzvah, I also met with a tutor 1-2 times a week to learn my torah portion in Hebrew, understand its meaning so I could write my thoughts on it to share with the congregation and learn how to lead the services on Friday night and Saturday morning. Not every Jewish child who turns 13 automatically gets a bar/bat mitzvah. It is something that you have to work for and should then be celebrated by family and friends in the manner to which the family would prefer.

Some people think extravagant weddings are over the top, some see them as normal. It all depends on your point of view and neither is right or wrong.

 

[sharbear]

I think that the information has been very informative. My kids have been to Bat and Bar Mitzvah's and I never knew about giving money in multibles of 18. We usually gave gift cards to the kids, usually to Best Buy or the mall. I know that they give some of the money that the kids have received to charity, I think that it is a wonderful thing.

I want to make a comment about some peoples observations on the scope of the parties. The kids I know that had ceremony's went to Hebrew school 2 and 3 times a week and also Sunday school. It is a big sacrifice and something that they prepare for for years. The kids spend a year just preparing for their service and also they do a community service project. I know that at one bar mitzvah that my DD went to, they asked us to donate to a charity instead of giving to the child. It was a wonderful gesture.

These kids have done a really big thing is their lives, I say go for the party. It seems to me that they have prepared more and sacrificed more for this ceremony than for their wedding.

Just my .02

 

[MHopkins2]

if you were going to do $130, you'd do $136.

That helps, BR, thanks!!

 

[marlasmom]

For a family of 5 I would give a minimum of $250. While the hosts certainly are not doing it for the money I would guess they are spending at least $100 per person.

 

[sandramaac]

I was just scrolling down to reply when I saw Marlasmom's post---I agree, I was going to say myself that for a family of five, I feel a gift of $250 would be the most appropiate. $150 I feel is a little on the light side considering you are a family of five.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
if you were planning to write a check for $100, you might write it in the amount of $118 instead -- for luck. but you don't have to do that. whatever you give will surely be appreciated.

Not to get too picky, but wouldn't you give $108 instead of $118?