Bat Mitzvah ??s

[IMGONNABE40!]

My cousin's kids attend a Jewish school and it is not unusual for these kids to be invited to 100 bar/bat mitzvahs during the middle school years. (90 kids in their grade, other kids at their temple, relatives, etc.) At some point before my cousin's kids started at the school, the parents and administration decided that the kids would not exchange bar/bat mitzvah gifts. Instead, each year the parents pay an additional amount along with the tuition so that by the time the kids are in the 8th grade they can all go on a trip to Isreal together. This is considered their gift to each other. I think this is a neat idea. Naturally if the whole family is invited, a gift is in order. I know that my cousin's son gave a (non-cash) gift to his best friend, but that is the exception.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

a class trip to Israel -- that sounds like a wonderful idea!

 

[ScarlettO]

Originally posted by caitycaity
minus the cost of the party, jb.

Need to change you name to Nancy Drew.

 

[MHopkins2]

Hey, give her some credit. I was too stupid to figure it out!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

you could have asked, i would have told you.

 

[Doesney]

Originally posted by marlasmom
We try to be equally generous at a wedding at the VFW hall with polish sausage and a keg of beer.

You actually have weddings like that? I find that pretty amusing.
Thanks for the chuckle.

 

[ducklite]

Laura--in these parts a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a HUGE event (most of the time). Dress like you would for an afternoon wedding. (Suit and tie for the guys, "Easter Sunday Best" for the gals. You will want your clothes to be conservative, shoulders covered in the temple. The men will be expected to wear Yarmulka's (sp?) in the temple--they will be provided at the door. Depending on the Temple, some request/require women to cover heads as well, best to ask the child's mother about this one.

My son has been to more than a few Bar/Bat Mitzvah's, and has not expressed a desire to convert.

As far as a gift, we usually give either a gift certificate to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Movie Gift Certificates, etc. It depends on the particular Bar Mitzvah as far as the amount. For a classmate type friend of DS where only he is invited as opposed to the entire family, usually a $25 gift certificate and $18 in cash (the number 18 has some significance in the Jewish faith, sorry I can't recall what it is). When children of dear family friends were Bat/Bar Mitzvahed, we gave a card and a check for $200.

Anne

 

[Toby'sFriend]

You actually have weddings like that? I find that pretty amusing.

But we didn't have sausage. We served Ham and Roast Beef. 17 years ago this August.

You remind me of somebody else on this board who once assured me that NOBODY on the East Coast could get married for under $20,000.

As for all of these fancy Bar Mitzvahs/Bat Mitzvahs they seem extravagant to me. But hey -- 52% of all those glitzy weddings end up in divorce and at least you know 100% of all those kids will remain 13+ years old.

 

[ripleysmom]

Vicki, I was gonna post something similar. Communions, while not the affair that a bar/bat mitzvah is can be quite extravagent here on LI.

MM, as far as the VFW and Polish Sausage weddings I love those too. If I had been married in Pittsburgh (where I grew up) that is exactly the kind of wedding that I would have had. Instead we did the whole catering hall thing at Leonard's of Great Neck (dahling).

 

[Doesney]

It just struck me funny, that someone would serve sausage and a keg at a wedding. No insult intended.

 

[ScarlettO]

Originally posted by Doesney
It just struck me funny, that someone would serve sausage and a keg at a wedding. No insult intended.

See? That's the beauty of these boards. Every region has traditions and it's rather funny when those in one area are agast if someone in another area does things differently.

 

[monkeyboy]

I like a formal affair

but

I also like sausage and a keg

 

[KarenC]

Originally posted by ScarlettO
LOL! I just figured out how Jewish parents send their kids to college. $250 x 100 invitations =$25,000.

You must not have checked out college costs recently! $25,000 might get you through the first year, if you're lucky!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

one of the best weddings I went to was a backyard affair where the groom's mother did moest of the cooking herself.

another fun wedding was when my cousin got married in Point Pleasant, NJ. she wanted to have a bbq on the beach, her mother wanted a formal affair. the compromise -- the ceremony was on the beach, the party was in the back room of Jenkinson's.