Bat Mitzvah gift ideas

[taterules]

I had to decline a Bat Mitzvah invitation due to schedule conflicts, but I still would like to give a gift. I live in a relatively expensive area, and I'm friends with the mother, although we're not close. I've never been to a Bat Mitzvah, and I don't know what are appropriate/typical gifts, or what is a reasonable price range. Any ideas?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You could send cash in whatever amount you feel is good. There is a number that is supposed to be good luck though. I think it is 16- anyone here able to confirm that?
You could also do something like name a star after them. That is a great gift especially for that age range!

 

[DisneyMomma824]

You could send cash in whatever amount you feel is good. There is a number that is supposed to be good luck though. I think it is 16- anyone here able to confirm that?
You could also do something like name a star after them. That is a great gift especially for that age range!

As great of an idea of naming a star after someone is - you can't take that to the mall to get the newest Uggs!!!! I say cash, and if you lived in my neighborhood (Central NJ) it would be AT LEAST $100, no more than $175. Good luck!!

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree with above poster, and I can't remember if it's 8 or 16. According to one of my Jewish friends, who's dd's is next year, it's like a mini-wedding, and most give cash, just like weddings, baptisms, and communions.

 

[Cindy B]

The number is 18. 18 is considered good luck (I think chai). My son has gone to a few bar/bat mitzvahs and he always gives cash in multiples of 18.

 

[chrisney]

The "correct" number is 18 (or multiples of it) and is based on the word chai, life in Hebrew.
A Bat Mitzvah is in no way a "mini wedding", though the festivities are often quite elaborate. The service itself is the focus of the day, and represents the childs symbolic transition to adulthood in our religion. The party, after the service, is a celebration of their reaching the point where they can participate in an adult fashion in their religious life...reading the Torah from the bema (leading the service), be counted as a member of a minyan and things like that. The equivalent service for boys is called a Bar Mitzvah (son of the book). Only Reform and Conservative Jewish groups acknowledge a Bat Mitzvah, Orthodox still do not allow their girls this rite of passage.
It is a stressful, though exciting time for these children. They are required to learn and understand (and chant) whatever portion of the Torah is to be read on the day of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah as well as the prayers said on the bema during services, and to write a speech about their "portion". Most temples expect them to work on this a minumum of once a week with a tutor or clergy for approximately six months prior to their simcha, as well as to continue their regular attendance at Religious School.
Hope this was helpful to you.

 

[bicker]

18, 36, 54, 72, 90, etc.

 

[mjkacmom]

The "correct" number is 18 (or multiples of it) and is based on the word chai, life in Hebrew.
A Bat Mitzvah is in no way a "mini wedding", though the festivities are often quite elaborate. The service itself is the focus of the day, and represents the childs symbolic transition to adulthood in our religion. The party, after the service, is a celebration of their reaching the point where they can participate in an adult fashion in their religious life...reading the Torah from the bema (leading the service), be counted as a member of a minyan and things like that. The equivalent service for boys is called a Bar Mitzvah (son of the book). Only Reform and Conservative Jewish groups acknowledge a Bat Mitzvah, Orthodox still do not allow their girls this rite of passage.
It is a stressful, though exciting time for these children. They are required to learn and understand (and chant) whatever portion of the Torah is to be read on the day of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah as well as the prayers said on the bema during services, and to write a speech about their "portion". Most temples expect them to work on this a minumum of once a week with a tutor or clergy for approximately six months prior to their simcha, as well as to continue their regular attendance at Religious School.
Hope this was helpful to you.

When I said mini wedding, I meant the gifts are usually around the same amount, not the actual ceremony. My gf's (dd12's best friend) DH is Catholic, but they are raising their girls Jewish, and we live in a very Catholic town, so she knows her dd will get a lot less $ than those living in a Jewish community, familiar with the event. The celebrations afterwards will mirror a smaller scale wedding reception here, than an actual party.

 

[KarenC]

I live in a fairly upscale suburb. When my son was doing the Bat/Bar Mitzvah circuit in seventh grade the standard gift was $18. We usually got 18 dollar coins and put them in something like a jewelry box. I think close family gives more substantial presents but when I surveyed my Jewish friends they all gave me the same answer--$18.

 

[Barb D]

When my daughter went to a Bat Mitzvah we gave $36. I took three rolls of quarters, wrapped each of them in a $2 bill (you can get them at the bank) and put them in a basket with three rolls of Lifesavers ("To Life!" Get it?).

 

[Bumpy Grumpy]

As great of an idea of naming a star after someone is - you can't take that to the mall to get the newest Uggs!!!! I say cash, and if you lived in my neighborhood (Central NJ) it would be AT LEAST $100, no more than $175. Good luck!!

I also live in Central NJ and I agree at least $100, no more than $175 (if you were going to the Bat Mizvah it would be more.

Arlene