Bad kisser FINAL UPDATE LAST PAGE!

[kimblebee]

I just started seeing a guy and today was our second date. We text every day for hours on end and seem to have good chemistry. We didn't kiss after our first date so I was really looking forward to today.

Guys, it wasn't good. Usually, at least for me, you start out with closed mouth kissing and work your way up to open mouth. He went right for open mouth and it was awkward. He also shoved his whole tongue in my mouth and it just wasn't good. I want to like him, but this could be a deal breaker. How can I gently tell him I didn't enjoy it AND how can I turn him into a good kisser?

 

[tink20]

I just started seeing a guy and today was our second date. We text every day for hours on end and seem to have good chemistry. We didn't kiss after our first date so I was really looking forward to today.

Guys, it wasn't good. Usually, at least for me, you start out with closed mouth kissing and work your way up to open mouth. He went right for open mouth and it was awkward. He also shoved his whole tongue in my mouth and it just wasn't good. I want to like him, but this could be a deal breaker. How can I gently tell him I didn't enjoy it AND how can I turn him into a good kisser?

Maybe he was just nervous, don't tell him anything just yet, that would hurt his feelings. Give it time and see if it improves, then you can make little suggestions as to what you like.

 

[lovesmurfs]

My first boyfriend kissed like he was chewing a sandwich. Wound up breaking up with him -- he was nice, we were intellectually compatible, but it (to me) turned out to be a deal-breaker.

Then again, I was 16 -- didn't know anything about being honest in a relationship.... You might want to give it another try, then be honest, in a nice way?

 

[goofyintoronto]

Lol that would turn me off to be honest. Sorry you had to go thru that. I really don't have any suggestions for you. In the past, i gave the guys a fair chance but in the end, if it turns me off, the attraction fizzled. Which is why it didn't last.

 

[zurgswife]

Hey...I dated a guy for a short time who was a bad kisser....just didn't feel it.....Didn't last long. I'd give him one more try and see if it was just nerves.

 

[brookmey]

I went out with a guy once who was a terrible kisser. I felt like he was trying to suck my face off. A friend suggested that I take control and kiss him the way I liked to be kissed, hoping that he'll get the hint. She also suggested to make a game out of it, kind of like copycat. Another friend said to steer the conversation to how you like to be kissed and then show him what you mean. To not make it obvious, you could ask him first, have him show you and then you do the same.

Unfortunately, none of these worked on the guy I dated. He prided himself on being an "awesome" kisser, so he wasn't too open about change. His kissing was so bad I could not continue going out with him even though I liked him. I would cringe whenever his face came near mine.

Hopefully your guy was just nervous and will settle down. Good luck!

 

[PizzieDuster]

I once dumped a boyfriend who started kissing me after nibling on a steak. All I could smell was A1 Steaksauce - barf! To this day, I still cannot smell A1 Steaksauce. I mean...I thought enough to brush my teeth, take a mint - something! Ewww, it makes me wanna puke just thinking about it.

My hubby is the best kisser I've ever had! Plus, he looks so darn handsome and sexy when he kisses, drives me crazy

 

[branv]

An adult man? Would probably be a deal breaker, unless he had some amazing attributes.

However, when I was 19 I started dating a very sweet guy who was 18. He was very very shy despite being very cute. But we'd spent a lot of time together as friends first, so I got to know him well before we went on our first date. It turns out, I was his first kiss.

Oh gosh, it was AWFUL. I think he tried to swallow my head. Picture in Beetlejuice when Geena Davis turns into that scary monster that was one huge mouth. Came at me, mouth wide open, all tongue. Just...wretched. And then when we went to hug goodbye, he lost his balance and we fell to the ground. He was a foot taller than me, and I was tiny back, and he went straight down on top of me to the pavement. I managed to hide the fact that my leg was bleeding, because honestly he was so mortified I felt really, really badly for him.

BUT. I kept dating him. I just taught him how to kiss partly by example. But mainly, I'd just take his face in my hands, and gently kiss him with mouth closed, then slowly work up to a deeper kiss. He figured it out fairly quickly. By the time we broke up 4 years later, he was a great kisser

So, I suppose you just ask if the rest of what he offers is worth the effort. But honestly, if he's already had girlfriends, it's probably too late

 

[kimblebee]

Thanks for the replies. Yes, he is an adult LOL we aren't teenagers fumbling around.

I think part of the problem is that he doesn't have a lot of experience, in the way of girlfriends. He is quite an introvert and that may be part of the issue.

It may be (will be) awkward but I think I just need to tell him outright that it was not good. Then, we can start from scratch and go from there.

I like hearing everyone's bad kiss stories. Makes me feel not so bad LOL

 

[embarrassed]

Thanks for the replies. Yes, he is an adult LOL we aren't teenagers fumbling around.

I think part of the problem is that he doesn't have a lot of experience, in the way of girlfriends. He is quite an introvert and that may be part of the issue.

It may be (will be) awkward but I think I just need to tell him outright that it was not good. Then, we can start from scratch and go from there.

I like hearing everyone's bad kiss stories. Makes me feel not so bad LOL

Please do that. I am the bad kisser (well, not *your* bad kisser). Like him, I just haven't had a lot of experience. I was very introverted and then got to an age where I was so embarrassed about my lack of experience that I didn't want to get a boyfriend. I've decided that is just stupid, so I joined eHarmony and am going out on my third date (no kissing on either of the first two dates - second date ended with almost missing his last train and it was a quick hug). I'm, honestly, terrified. I know that he'll feel about me like you feel about your guy. I figure that if he does run screaming, at least it is more experience for next time. The thought of never dating anyone because of my lack of lots of previous dating is worse than the thought embarrassing myself on Friday. I am/was toying with the idea of mentioning something (about my lack of experience), but think that that might be worse.

 

[plutotek]

I think it's rather presumptuous of you to think HE'S the bad kisser. He could be thinking the same about you in spades.

 

[Buckalew11]

My first BF was a great kisser and we did a lot of it, lol. I really did not know there was such a thing as a bad kiss until after we broke up and I went to a party my FR year of HS and got kissed by a terrible kisser. It was so bad...sounds much like the bad ones told of here. I never kissed another bad kisser after that night. Guess I was lucky if there are a lot out there.

 

[LuvinLucifer]

How much is money does this guy make?

 

[Sabeking]

Before marrying I kissed a few bad smoochers. Of course they may have said the same about me. I think it is one way you find attraction in the person you are dating. So, I think it will naturally work itself out in time. If the kissing continues to be bad you may not be attracted to him; hence the relationship doesn't go further. Compatible kissing was important to me when I was dating.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I have dated two bad kisser. It was horrible couldn't do it. The chemistry dissolved fast.

 

[low-key]

kisses should be gentle and soft when dating starts, but I think he is just immature, not a deal breaker, us guys just mature slow. let him know

 

[Hutchy]

I went out with a guy once who was a terrible kisser. I felt like he was trying to suck my face off. A friend suggested that I take control and kiss him the way I liked to be kissed, hoping that he'll get the hint. She also suggested to make a game out of it, kind of like copycat. Another friend said to steer the conversation to how you like to be kissed and then show him what you mean. To not make it obvious, you could ask him first, have him show you and then you do the same.

I dated a guy that wanted to go for the tongue down my throat right away and I did a version of this and it really did help and by the time we broke up I did enjoy kissing him.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

I'm cringing my way through this thread.

 

[kimblebee]

I think it's rather presumptuous of you to think HE'S the bad kisser. He could be thinking the same about you in spades.

No, believe me, it's him. I didn't even really get a chance to kiss back because I had his tongue rammed down my throat going like a roto-rooter! That's really mean and I fully accept I may get called out for it but that's truly what it was like. I want soft and gentle to start and that's just not what I'm getting.

I keep thinking of how awkward it will be BUT, if we are going to have a relationship we need to be honest from the start. If it doesn't get better I guess I will have a story for the bad first date thread.

 

[Bluestars]

i think you might have more success with getting him to be a better kisser if you let him know how you like to be kissed instead of telling him that his kissing was bad.