BAD/ABSENT Wedding Reception Food

[ilovejack02]

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Why would it be considered "tacky"? When you invite guests to your home do you have EVERY kind of expensive liquor available to them to make 50+ assorted different drinks?

As long as there are "beverages" available - regardless of what they are - the obligation of providing your guests with something to drink has been fulfilled.. If it doesn't meet their "expectations", they're welcome to purchase whatever they want - out of their own pocket..

I dont consider them to be horribly tacky, but know LOTS of folks that do. I would rather just serve what I can afford and thats it. If its soda and tea and punch so be it, if I can serve some wine and beer then thats great too. We choose not to have an open bar at my wedding A) because I live in South Louisiana, and we are known for our drinking partying ways and I knew it would extend the hours of my shindig by alot. B) I was worried about people's safety regarding driving home C) I didnt feel the need to spend that much money on a reception. An open bar would have prob raised our bill at least a 1,500- 2,000 if not more. Folks were more than happy with beer, wine and sodas, and tea.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

not sure if this goes here.. It was my wedding and i had gotten a cheese and meat tray for the wedding party to eat on while pictures were being taken. Well since i was in all the pictures i wasnt able to eat Also i wasnt able to eat anything that morning since i had to get my hair done. So i finally got to eat at the reception wich was very good i didnt get to eat it all since the cake cutting and socializing. Well DH and i had to stop on the way to Denver for some thing to eat at Arbys at 11pm.

Arbys! Man, that's pretty funny.

I hear you on the wedding day hectic craziness for the B&G. DH & I really didn't have much to eat, either. We drank our lunch (champagne), then the pictures took what seemed like an eternity, then more drinking with maybe a bite here and there, then a bite of cake, more drinking (sorry, we're a drinking bunch). Before we knew it, the limo was out front and and it was time for us to go. Thankfully, our caterer made a nice basket for us and put it in the car full of all the foods that were at the reception. We were starving!

 

[PlutoLuvr]

I do. I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet, and I think about the only thing I don't have right now is Jack Daniels and Goldschlagger because they were finished during our last party and I haven't gotten around to replacing them. I've got a selection of appertifs and cordials, as well as top shelf hard liquors with several brands of some of the types of spirits where I know people have an affinity for certain brands. (ie I have both Absolute and Stoly's vodka.)

Anne

You ROCK, Anne!!! I would be on at your house

 

[monorailsilver]

The worse wedding I went to didn't involve food.

We went on Camelot Cruises here in CT (and I actually thought about havingt my reception on it the year before but luckily the drive was too far from my church).

The food was icky but tolerable but I wouldn't go out of my way to eat it again.

There were 2 weddings going on board, one on each floor. I'd say about 90% of the guests at the wedding we were at smoked. So every 10 minutes or so it seemed they all got up & went up to the outside top deck & smoked & left the reception empty. This included the bride & groom.

My dh & I were outside with our friends when the group came up at which time we all left to go back inside to the fresh air.

If you smoke, no biggie but I just thought it was tacky/rude that almost all the guests had to smoke at the same time & the DJ was playing too.

 

[ilovejack02]

You quoted my post, but apparently didn't really read it. I said PLANNING on serving something different, UNLESS there were dietary restrictions of some sort, was rude. Especially when it could be perceived to be a "better" meal than that of your guests. Sort of like serving the head table Dom Perignon while the guests get Korbel.

Unless you PLANNED on only having cereal when you booked the meal? The post I was responding to talked about a bride who was PLANNING on having a special food item that was only supposed to be served to herself and the wedding party, only because it was her favorite but expensive, and how sad it was that her guests unknowingly ate it instead.

I also would not be upset if the hostess had dietary restrictions that required her to have a different item. For instance, if the bride or groom was diabetic, I wouldn't be offended if they had a special wedding cake, dessert, or meal. In your case, you could not tolerate what you had chosen for everyone (including yourself) but were able to find something different so you wouldn't be hungry.

I think she was just commenting on how funny it was to be eating frosted flakes in the kitchen while her guests where eating excellent reception food not making a comment on your post at all, but more telling a story of her wedding.

 

[C.Ann]

Do you charge folks for a soda or beer in your house?
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No - I don't "charge" people for soda in my home - and I don't serve alcoholic beverages in my home at all..

At no point did I say that people should have to "pay" for soda - or other selections that are routinely offered at wedding receptions.. However, if guests find the selections "not to their liking" they have the "option" of purchasing martini's or whatever else suits their taste.. Best of both worlds as far as I'm concerned..

 

[C.Ann]

I do. I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet, and I think about the only thing I don't have right now is Jack Daniels and Goldschlagger because they were finished during our last party and I haven't gotten around to replacing them. I've got a selection of appertifs and cordials, as well as top shelf hard liquors with several brands of some of the types of spirits where I know people have an affinity for certain brands. (ie I have both Absolute and Stoly's vodka.)

Anne

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Wow! Sounds like some serious drinking going on down there in your neck of the woods.. LOL

Somehow I think your house is the "exception to the rule" though..

 

[barkley]

I do. I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet, and I think about the only thing I don't have right now is Jack Daniels and Goldschlagger because they were finished during our last party and I haven't gotten around to replacing them. I've got a selection of appertifs and cordials, as well as top shelf hard liquors with several brands of some of the types of spirits where I know people have an affinity for certain brands. (ie I have both Absolute and Stoly's vodka.)

Anne

your bar sounds allot like mine-we have some realy odd stuff we never touch but keep around cuz we have some friends who occasionaly drop by and like certain mixed drinks (the grossest of which-in my opinion- is an 'irish car bomb'). since dh has recently found a foreign distributer that ships 'real' absinth to the u.s. it's become an addition as well, but you're out of JD????? eeek! time to make a run to the store and grab up those left over holiday 'gift boxes'-we grabbed several and got both the bottle of JD and a couple of nice glasses for around $5 less than a sale bottle normaly runs

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

since dh has recently found a foreign distributer that ships 'real' absinth to the u.s. it's become an addition as well,

A little OT, but a friend of ours brought this over one night. I didn't have any, but DH and he did. I think it will be the last time.


I have no issue with having a cash bar. I don't drink that much and would be fine with just soda. I do agree that all non alcoholic beverages be paid for by the bride and groom.

 

[missypie]

I told this story on my traumatic party thread, but I'll tell it again. My friend was asked to help serve the refreshments at a church basement wedding. When she got there, there was a cake and an empty punchbowl, with nothing to put in it. She looked around the church kitchen and made some instant iced tea to put in the punch bowl!

 

[budbeerlady]

I know this is a bad wedding food thread, but I think the cash bar opinion differs on where you live. Here in MI all the weddings have been cash bar type, even minem that I have attended.

You do what is the norm for your area, I had a champange toast with bottles left on the table, we covered soft drinks, coffee, water,lemonade, etc. But if you wanted beer or a mixed drink you were on your own. Having to pay seems to cut down on the over indulging.

But what does bother me, as it happens quite often around here, is when the bride and groom (usually do to parent objections) dont have a bar set up in the banquet room so the wedding guests all end up at the hotel bar. I just think it is rude to abandon the wedding to sit at a bar stool in the lobby where everyone can see you.

 

[ducklite]

can't recall how long ago someone posted it-but i recall a thread awhile back where someone went to a wedding reception where the bar was set up such that only CERTAIN guests the b/g had indicated to the bartenders were 'hosted'-the remaining guests had to pay. now that seems like the ultimate in 'reception bar tacky'.

Oh I remember that one! That was the ultimate in TACKY! They had different colored tables if I recall.

Anne

 

[ducklite]

I think she was just commenting on how funny it was to be eating frosted flakes in the kitchen while her guests where eating excellent reception food not making a comment on your post at all, but more telling a story of her wedding.

Exactly. I just thought it was a funny little story that people might get a kick out of. My DH still laughs about it. He says he can tell when i'm stressed because out come the Frosted Flakes!

Anne

 

[barkley]

Oh I remember that one! That was the ultimate in TACKY! They had different colored tables if I recall.

Anne

your right! and if i remember correctly some of the guests at the 'wrong' color coded tables 'sucked up' to the guests at the 'right' ones and got them to retrieve cocktails for them

 

[ilovejack02]

Exactly. I just thought it was a funny little story that people might get a kick out of. My DH still laughs about it. He says he can tell when i'm stressed because out come the Frosted Flakes!

Anne

My husband would think I was pregnant again. I lived on cereal when we had our first little guy lol.

 

[ilovejack02]

your right! and if i remember correctly some of the guests at the 'wrong' color coded tables 'sucked up' to the guests at the 'right' ones and got them to retrieve cocktails for them

NOW THAT IS TACKY!

 

[barbeml]

Oh I remember that one! That was the ultimate in TACKY! They had different colored tables if I recall.

Anne

I will never forget that one! It would be hard to top that for rudeness.

 

[mariolatry]

A cash bar may be considered OK in a few isolated areas, but is generally considered a faux pas by most etiquette guides.

We got away with pop, punch, and beer/wine. No wedding NEEDS hard liquor. You could probably even do away with the beer wine and have leaded and unleaded punch.

 

[missypie]

Our wedding was small (his first, my second) with the reception in DH's parent's back yard. It was a fajita buffet. My parents don't drink, so I wanted to go light on the alcohol. We served iced tea, lemonaide and sangria. DH's brothers couldn't believe we weren't having a keg, so they filled a wash tub with ice and cans of beer and put it right by the big flower arrangement. (There were SO many things wrong with my wedding - that was just one of many!)

 

[shovan]

Wow, weddings sure are different here in the Deep South! No matter what the budget, there is always LOTS of food! Usually served buffet style and lots of appetizers! On a smaller budget a local hall would be rented/borrowed & family would cook all of the food. On bigger budgets you'd probalbly still have food served buffet style even in the nicest downtown hotels. Again lots of appetizers with carving stations, pasta stations etc.
Several types of alcohol are always included. Even if it's a help yourself bar and beer in a ice-chest! You will have liquor! I have never attended a wedding with a Cash Bar.
It's interesting to hear what the "norm" is elsewhere. My DD & SIL just attended a wedding "up north" (North Louisana) and were shocked at the lack of food served. Just the little sandwiches, mints, punch and cake. Champagne was served to the wedding party only. I say shocked because they have never attended a wedding like that. Not a judgement just something they did not expect.
The only bad wedding experience I can even come up with, would have to be just not very good food. This usually occurs at the fanciest weddings!