BAD/ABSENT Wedding Reception Food

[EthansMom]

I'm originally from the Pacific Northwest, where it's more common for people to have "cake and punch" receptions. However, if you're going to have a reception where you serve only cake and punch, the wedding and reception should not be anywhere near a meal time and whatever is served should be tasty.

I've gone to a few weddings where the cake looked great but tasted like sawdust. I would prefer to eat a good-tasting sheet cake over a piece of stale cake that's beautiful anyday.

Personally, I prefer weddings/receptions that are simple and elegant. If you can't afford to feed everyone then don't invite relatives you haven't seen in a decade and friends of your parents' that you've never met. It's possible to have a beautiful wedding day without going into hawk trying to act like the rich and famous.

 

[rigs32]

DH was the best man in a friend from basic training's wedding. The day of the wedding, I was at the house where the men were getting ready. The ceremony was scheduled for 4 we arrived at the house at about 10am. There was no lunch for the groomsmen. We assumed it was coming, so by the time we realized it wasn't it was too late to get anything - we were in the middle of nowhere so it was McDs or snacks and I can't eat McDs.

At the reception, there were no free beverages or food besides cake. During dinner hour. You had to pay for everything - including soda and water. I left and went back to the hotel to find some food! I told DH to call me when he wanted to leave.

The best part of the wedding was that the maid of honor was date-less, so DH was paired with her for the garters. Bride thought it would be great if the entire bridal party wore garters and the men removed them. DH put "his" on his arm (like everyone else) and I told him that if he didn't remove it, he would be walking the 300 miles home. I grinned and beared it for the actual "removal", but I was his date, no matter how much they wished I wasn't. I had never met these people and I never care to again.

 

[englishteacha]

A friend got married at 2 PM, with the reception starting at about 3:30. There were some light finger foods, but no sign of "real" food. There was no DJ or band, no entertainment, so people started to leave after the first hour. Come to find out, a buffet dinner was planned for 5:30, but no one knew! We stayed, but by the time dinner was actually served, only about half the guests were still there. Our friend was so disappointed! So, while there was food, it was poorly planned, time-wise.

 

[Stacerita]

The first wedding I was ever in I was a flower girl. I remember even as a little girl being bothered by not just what was served, but how it was served. They had sandwhiches and deli meats and the like. And the kicker was the store bought potato salad. I have nothing against store bought salad, but I do have something against it being served right out of the carboard carton. And there wasn't even a serving spoon to boot. You had to serve it with your own fork. I was a little kid back then, and I remember being just grossed out by it. Thats one that I will never forget.

 

[Regina]

Years ago, a coworker of DH's got married. The reception was in a sleazy, low class, creepy bar.

They had a buffet table set up in the corner and you had to wait for your table to be called before you could get anything. We were the last table. I guess those cold cuts were just so darned good that all of them got scarfed up before it was our turn. We had to wait while someone literally sliced more bologna for us. Nothing says "wedding" like a bologna sandwich. Yummy.....

 

[sha_lyn]

I'm originally from the Pacific Northwest, where it's more common for people to have "cake and punch" receptions. However, if you're going to have a reception where you serve only cake and punch, the wedding and reception should not be anywhere near a meal time and whatever is served should be tasty

It is, or was, very common around here too. Cake, punch, cheese straws, mints, nuts that's about it. Sometimes fruit and veggie trays. Very seldom will you see heavier finger foods. I've been to one buffet full meal wedding here in the south.

speaking of wedding cakes.... At niece's wedding there was a beautiful huge wedding cake. However they (bride and groom) didn't cut it, because the groom is diebetic and the bride didn't want to make a deal out of it. The cake was taken away during dinner. We were one of the last to leave and I mentioned something to the bride about the cake. she said oh they brought it out after all the other desserts, you can get a piece if you like. So out of this huge wedding cake that served 200+, maybe a dozen people had a piece.

 

[powellrj]

we were invited to a 6:30 pm wedding a few years ago. We had to return RSVP cards. We sit through the wedding and then are ushered to the church basement where we wait, and wait and wait. I kept looking for signs of food and only saw cake and punch. I asked the lady standing next to me about food and she looked shocked. People don't serve food at weddings, only cake and punch?!?!?! I then asked if there wasn't going to be any food, then why did we return RSVP cards. She told me it was so they knew how much cake to buy. We didn't even wait for the bridal party to get there. We left to go find dinner. We had hired a sitter, driven 2 hours and needed to find real food.

 

[clarabelle]

It is common here not to have dinner. But you also try not to have the wedding around the dinner hour! You have them in the morning or afternoon.
6:30p with no real food is a mistake.
When I was growing up (small town rural GA) people didn't even send out invitations -they just put it in the church bulletin

 

[barbeml]

Wow, amazing stories!

There is nothing at all wrong with a cake and punch reception, as long as it is not at meal time. For my Mom's wedding to my stepfather, we had a very small ceremony and reception at home at about 2:00 PM. The invitations clearly stated "ceremony followed by champagne reception with hors d'oeuvres and cake." There were only about 30 people. Mom's close friend, a caterer, "insisted" on providing all the food. She said she would have enough for 40 people. Imagine our horror when she showed up with two items...each only enough to feed maybe fifteen people a taste. Thank goodness I had made 100 mini quiche and we had nuts and mints. Plus the cake was good and pretty big.

It is really horrendous not to feed the wedding party! We had food for our wedding party to eat while we all got ready.

 

[crz4mm2]

Weddings run from small to large here. Punch and cake to full service. I have been to both and have seen equally lovely full service dinners and buffet type made by family food.
My Niece and Nephew were married about 4 years ago and family made all the food. I thought it was lovely. Didn't hear anyone complain either- MIL is a great cook and she made most of it! LOL.
I guess if folks don't appreciate the diy weddings, they can stay home
Some of the people don't have 50k budgets to cater receptions so they make it themselves.
DS is getting married in May. They are having a reception at the local 'good' hall. (aka "THE PLACE" to have your reception). Planning on sandwiches of some sort and relish trays and maybe fruit trays. They are on a budget. I sure hope nobody slams them on a message board

 

[my3kids]

One reception I attended was held in a Moose Lodge. The brie tasted like floor wax. I thought brie was just natually that bad until I gathered the courage to taste it again and loved it. That was some bad brie.

 

[golfgal]

I have been to a few weddings lately that have been "heavy appetizer" receptions however, they have been 6:00 weddings and by the time the food was ready and served it was close to 8:00 and not nearly enough food to fill anyone. One wedding was a mashed potato bar. The food was really good and the idea was fun-served in large martini glasses, however, they ran out of potatoes not even half way through the line so most people didn't get anything to eat.

Another wedding we attended we had to drive 2 hours to get there, they had a destination wedding so it was really just a receptions. After 2 hours of listening to the bride and groom recap every day of their relationship so far, including the powerpoint to go along with the recap, they finally served the meal, cold ham sandwiches on dollar size buns, potato chips and cole slaw.

I have no problem what so ever with appetizer only receptions but don't have them at mealtime.

 

[annegal]

I have no problem what so ever with appetizer only receptions but don't have them at mealtime.

Most receptions in the Deep South are appetiser only receptions.....but all the ones I've gone to have very heavy hot food-Hand carved meats, seafood pasta, mini stuffed pie shells, sandwich bar, etc

 

[icebrat001]

A friend was telling me about a wedding reception she attended and she had me laughing so hard, I was crying.. Not so much because of what was offered (hey - some folks just have to "make do") - but the wayshe told it was hilarious..

Seems it was an "at home-in-the-house-kinda-in-the-yard" affair and the kitchen table was piled high with cheese pizzas from Pizza Hut (the main course) - donut holes from Dunkin' donuts (the dessert) - and the bathtub was chock full of ice and cans of Coor's beer (the onlybeverage available.. She said she kept waiting for "Pa" to announce that he was "headed down to the lower forty to ketchum' a possum", but instead he turned to his younger daughter and said, "Sugar, when you get hitched we're goin' all out! Next time there ain't gonna be no Coors.. We're gonna have Bud!!! Nuttin' but the best for my little girl.."

Every time I think of her telling that story I get into a fit of laughter..

My cousin got married a couple months ago and when my mom and aunt came home they were about in tears telling me about dinner. It was all homemade food. The groom's mom thinks she's a pastry chef, so she made the cake and apparently their names were written all over the cake pretty sloppily. People were trying to hide the cake under napkins after the first bad bite. On each table was a tub of Country Crock. I guess there was another reception next door and someone accidentally wandered in, eyes got huge from shock and they turned and ran out.

The first wedding I was ever in I was a flower girl. I remember even as a little girl being bothered by not just what was served, but how it was served. They had sandwhiches and deli meats and the like. And the kicker was the store bought potato salad. I have nothing against store bought salad, but I do have something against it being served right out of the carboard carton. And there wasn't even a serving spoon to boot. You had to serve it with your own fork. I was a little kid back then, and I remember being just grossed out by it. Thats one that I will never forget.

Years ago, a coworker of DH's got married. The reception was in a sleazy, low class, creepy bar.

They had a buffet table set up in the corner and you had to wait for your table to be called before you could get anything. We were the last table. I guess those cold cuts were just so darned good that all of them got scarfed up before it was our turn. We had to wait while someone literally sliced more bologna for us. Nothing says "wedding" like a bologna sandwich. Yummy.....

 

[RadioFanatic]

I went to a relatives wedding in Virginia and all they had were these gross little finger type sandwiches, we had to find a drive through fast food place as soon as it was over, we were all so hungry! We went there a little hungry thinking it would be like a Long Island wedding, cocktail hour,carving station and pasta stations, dinner and dessert and it was SO not like that. It was like punch and finger sandwiches-I have never been to a wedding like that before that and have not since thank goodness!

were you at my dsis' wedding - it was in virginia. My sis turned southern baptist so the "reception" was in the church hall and no alcohol - I'll never forget my dearly departed grandmother saying "I can't believe there's not a drop of alcohol in this joint!", and only finger sandwiches which we made, chips and wedding cake which I served in my bridesmaid gown. funny thing is my parents are not poor and WANTED a better reception but my dsis would have none of it. and most of our family is from upstate ny with the sit down dinner weddings. well my parents planned for this and after the reception, took our side of the family and reserved a room at the nicest hotel in town and we had our sitdown dinner there.

 

[barbeml]

Weddings run from small to large here. Punch and cake to full service. I have been to both and have seen equally lovely full service dinners and buffet type made by family food.
My Niece and Nephew were married about 4 years ago and family made all the food. I thought it was lovely. Didn't hear anyone complain either- MIL is a great cook and she made most of it! LOL.
I guess if folks don't appreciate the diy weddings, they can stay home
Some of the people don't have 50k budgets to cater receptions so they make it themselves.
DS is getting married in May. They are having a reception at the local 'good' hall. (aka "THE PLACE" to have your reception). Planning on sandwiches of some sort and relish trays and maybe fruit trays. They are on a budget. I sure hope nobody slams them on a message board

I think you misunderstood my OP. This thread was inspired by a post about a meal-time reception at which the only food served was a small plate of apple slices and a small plate of Wheat Thins. Even the wedding party, which was expected to and did work the night before to set up and arrive early to prepare and take photos, was provided no food (altho the bride had a meal delivered for herself).

The intent was not to slam DIY or punch-and-cake receptions, but to share horror stories about people attending meal-time receptions with little or no or inedible food.

Sorry if you were upset.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

were you at my dsis' wedding - it was in virginia. My sis turned southern baptist so the "reception" was in the church hall and no alcohol - I'll never forget my dearly departed grandmother saying "I can't believe there's not a drop of alcohol in this joint!",

I will never understand this mentality. Who cares if there is no alcohol? It isn't your (generally speaking) wedding. If that's what your sister wanted, why does it matter? We didn't have alcohol at our reception and nobody complained.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I will never understand this mentality. Who cares if there is no alcohol? It isn't your (generally speaking) wedding. If that's what your sister wanted, why does it matter? We didn't have alcohol at our reception and nobody complained.

I don't care about the no alcohol, I just thought it was funny what my grandmother said b/c it was simply what she was used to. What I did care about though, was having a reception at lunch where there is barely any food and no one to serve it - especially when she knew it would embarass my parents (who would have paid for anything), which frankly, is my belief why she did it.

Also, this lovely marriage lasted a whopping 7 months. And my sis, who wore my mom's dress (which looked totally '70's) ripped the dress so badly that it never could be fixed.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I am newly engaged (Christmas morning!!!) and am now terrified of planning my reception. I am not sure how much things cost for catering, but I feel like I will be ridiculed if I don't do a top notch dinner now. I didn't realize people had such strong feelings about what is to be served at the reception. I would like an afternoon wedding (about 1:00) and the reception to follow. I was planning on appetizers, but may need to rethink!!!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I am newly engaged (Christmas morning!!!) and am now terrified of planning my reception. I am not sure how much things cost for catering, but I feel like I will be ridiculed if I don't do a top notch dinner now. I didn't realize people had such strong feelings about what is to be served at the reception. I would like an afternoon wedding (about 1:00) and the reception to follow. I was planning on appetizers, but may need to rethink!!!

You do what YOU and your FIANCE want to do and don't worry about anyone else. If anyone has a problem with it, they can host their own reception and have everything they want.