BAD/ABSENT Wedding Reception Food

[C.Ann]

You do what YOU and your FIANCE want to do and don't worry about anyone else. If anyone has a problem with it, they can host their own reception and have everything they want.

-------------------------

I agree.. I'd just think twice about Coor's in the bathtub..

Also - don't let anyone "guilt" you into an "open bar".. If people want to get smashed, they can do it on their own dime..

 

[LindsayDunn228]

-------------------------


Also - don't let anyone "guilt" you into an "open bar".. If people want to get smashed, they can do it on their own dime..

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[barkley]

I don't care about the no alcohol, I just thought it was funny what my grandmother said b/c it was simply what she was used to. What I did care about though, was having a reception at lunch where there is barely any food and no one to serve it - especially when she knew it would embarass my parents (who would have paid for anything), which frankly, is my belief why she did it.

Also, this lovely marriage lasted a whopping 7 months. And my sis, who wore my mom's dress (which looked totally '70's) ripped the dress so badly that it never could be fixed.

my dh as a kid experienced his first 'drunk' from the opposite type of wedding reception than his family was used to. he was raised in the seventh day adventist church so there was never any alcohol served at ANYTHING, so he and his parents (when he was around 9 or 10) go to a non sda wedding and they assume the glass caraffes in the middle of the table are full of water (common at sda receptions)-dh is whining to his mom about being thirsty so she pours a full water glass from the caraffe and says 'here just drink this down and you'll be fine until the punch comes out'. dh down's the glass, not realizing until the last swallow that it's not water-but something he's never tasted before. the caraffe was full of chenin blanc! dh decides not to 'share this info' with his parents and consumes another full glass right after the first-he tried to go for a third helping, but by this time his dad had already choked on the glass he started drinking and they 'cut him off'. dh does'nt remember much about the food at that reception, but he still remembers the hangover the next day.

 

[aprilgail2]

-------------------------

I agree.. I'd just think twice about Coor's in the bathtub..

Also - don't let anyone "guilt" you into an "open bar".. If people want to get smashed, they can do it on their own dime..

I personally don't drink but I have never been to a wedding (other than that finger sandwich wedding) that did not have an open bar. I noramlly don't bring any cash with me when I go to a wedding because everything is included. And if it was not a sit down meal I would put on the invites that it was cocktail hour only or something like that so people know to eat first. I wouldn't even care if I knew to eat first, but to go to a wedding without warning that they were not serving a meal doesn't go over well.

 

[barkley]

I am newly engaged (Christmas morning!!!) and am now terrified of planning my reception. I am not sure how much things cost for catering, but I feel like I will be ridiculed if I don't do a top notch dinner now. I didn't realize people had such strong feelings about what is to be served at the reception. I would like an afternoon wedding (about 1:00) and the reception to follow. I was planning on appetizers, but may need to rethink!!!

go with what you want-and honestly, i love this type of plan! with afternoon weddings that do appetizers i can generaly convince dh that we should book a sitter for the remainder of the evening so we can go out to dinner ALONE following the event (idealy to a place that does NOT even have crayons available anywhere on the property ).

 

[PlutoLuvr]

I am newly engaged (Christmas morning!!!) and am now terrified of planning my reception. I am not sure how much things cost for catering, but I feel like I will be ridiculed if I don't do a top notch dinner now. I didn't realize people had such strong feelings about what is to be served at the reception. I would like an afternoon wedding (about 1:00) and the reception to follow. I was planning on appetizers, but may need to rethink!!!

You do whatever you want! A one o'clock wedding with apps to follow is fine. I mean, don't expect folks to eat prime rib at 2:30, but don't expect them to be okay with M&M's in a bowl and Coors in the bathtub, either.

Personally, I've never understood spending $50k on a party, not when most couples starting out want to have a nice honeymoon, have student loans to pay off, and often need stuff (appliances, a home, etc.). I was the bride, and my family offered me two things: 20k cash for a down payment on a home, appliances or whatever else we needed or 20k for a wedding party. Maybe I'm just too fiscally-minded or too much of a tomboy to care about an extravagant dress-up party, but we took the cash, took a three-week honeymoon and bought a house. We paid for the wedding out of our own savings, a thousand bucks each, invited only immediate family to a very small ceremony and had gourmet heavy appetizers. Our catering bill was $600. We made our own wedding music from songs we've loved over the years, put my brother in charge of changing the tape every 90 minutes and saved a fortune on a DJ. Thank goodness we did that, too, because we honeymooned in canyon country in southern Utah where there are no radio stations!

I also noticed that as soon as you say "wedding" to any type of vendor, the price doubles. The rehearsal dinner was a perfect example. All the "common" places to have the RD were a fortune, for pretty mediocre food, too. My MIL wanted to take care of the RD, and she ended up just hiring a caterer for a "party" at her home. Saved a fortune and the food was much better than anything we tried at the trendy RD places.

Congratulations to you and try not to let the stress get to you

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Thanks guys, you are making me feel better!!! I don't plan on scrimping with the appetizers, but I just didn't want to do a sit down meal. We will definitely have to have a cash bar, but that sounds like not too many people will have a problem with that.

 

[barkley]

I personally don't drink but I have never been to a wedding (other than that finger sandwich wedding) that did not have an open bar. I noramlly don't bring any cash with me when I go to a wedding because everything is included. And if it was not a sit down meal I would put on the invites that it was cocktail hour only or something like that so people know to eat first. I wouldn't even care if I knew to eat first, but to go to a wedding without warning that they were not serving a meal doesn't go over well.

see now, i've never been to a wedding thats had any type of open bar (other than wine, beer, champagne-and a couple that had sake and uzo). hard alcohol was only available at one that i recall-and that was only because it was held in a banquet room at a golf course so the 'sports bar' down the hall was open to public (so i guess those that wanted hard drinks went down and paid themselves ). actual full service bars are'nt very common at wedding around here i guess.

not sure what the current etiquate books say, but i think a good rule of thumb may be for reception invites to simply say 'cake and punch reception to follow' if they are being held during traditional meal hours and no or very minimal food will be served (gives the guests a heads up to plan ahead).

 

[C.Ann]

I personally don't drink but I have never been to a wedding (other than that finger sandwich wedding) that did not have an open bar. I noramlly don't bring any cash with me when I go to a wedding because everything is included. And if it was not a sit down meal I would put on the invites that it was cocktail hour only or something like that so people know to eat first. I wouldn't even care if I knew to eat first, but to go to a wedding without warning that they were not serving a meal doesn't go over well.

-----------------------------------------

I don't drink either - but champagne, beer, wine, soda, and/or punch is more than sufficient for a reception that includes alcoholic beverages.. For a non-alcoholic reception, coffee, tea, soda and/or punch is certainly sufficient..

And I would never leave home without cash on me - regardless of "where" I was going..

 

[sha_lyn]

When I was growing up (small town rural GA) people didn't even send out invitations -they just put it in the church bulletin

Or seeing the registry in the window of 1 of the 2 jewelery stores downtown of you didn't attend the same church.

I wouldn't even care if I knew to eat first, but to go to a wedding without warning that they were not serving a meal doesn't go over well.

Maybe where you are, but around here a meal isn't expected.

Neither is alcohol. Even if the reception isn't in the church basement, most preachers (Baptist, Holliness, Church of God, Church of Christ) will not perform the ceremony if alcohol will be served at the reception.

 

[barkley]

-----------------------------------------

I don't drink either - but champagne, beer, wine, soda, and/or punch is more than sufficient for a reception that includes alcoholic beverages.. For a non-alcoholic reception, coffee, tea, soda and/or punch is certainly sufficient..

And I would never leave home without cash on me - regardless of "where" I was going..

i totaly agree-and if you do a champagne punch-please make sure it's an entirely different color from the non alcoholic (that way non drinkers can steer clear, and it's easier to detect underage 'sneaks'). we went with a clear fruit flavored non alcoholic punch so the 'kids' (read-sneaky teens) could'nt pour the darker rose colored champagne punch into their glasses without it becomeing immediatly apparant (hated to have to even consider it, but have been to too many weddings where some idiot 'tween' snuck enuf drinks that they ended up 'tossing their cookies' in the middle of the reception ).

 

[akhenaten]

go with what you want-and honestly, i love this type of plan! with afternoon weddings that do appetizers i can generaly convince dh that we should book a sitter for the remainder of the evening so we can go out to dinner ALONE following the event (idealy to a place that does NOT even have crayons available anywhere on the property ).

I also love appetizers/finger foods....but i think one mistake folks make is to plan too few....when you are having only these, I think you need a lot more variety/quantity.....


In my area this would probably cost as much if not more than a sit down meal....

Carol in NJ


Edited to add: I personally would not have a cash bar.....if i am inviting folks to a party I think I should provide food/drink. That does not mean that I think you have to serve lots of alcohol or certaintypes or even any at alll....
I would decide on what would be served and make sure I payed for it......

 

[princesspiglet]

I think it depends on what area you live in and what is common there. Around these parts, having your reception at the local firehall with a homemade buffet is common, as is an open bar with beer, a few cordials and an alcoholic punch. I think huge weddings are ridiculous and such a waste of money.

You are inviting your friends and family to witness your happiness and to be present at the start of your new life. That's all that really matters. Everything else is bonus. So do what is comfortable for yourself and those who truly love you will be happy with whatever is provided.

 

[froglady]

I am newly engaged (Christmas morning!!!) and am now terrified of planning my reception. I am not sure how much things cost for catering, but I feel like I will be ridiculed if I don't do a top notch dinner now. I didn't realize people had such strong feelings about what is to be served at the reception. I would like an afternoon wedding (about 1:00) and the reception to follow. I was planning on appetizers, but may need to rethink!!!

If you don't want complaints, you might rethink the time. 1:00 is still a little close to lunchtime; 2PM with reception to follow would indicate (to me) that no full meal is planned, as the reception would probaby be winding down by 5PM, and most evening meals of this sort are not served until 6 or later.

I had a 6PM wedding, so I automatically planned for a sitdown dinner, bar, and dancing. The reception was FOLLOWED by "appetizers" etc at my parent's house, as this was the tradition in our area, and preceeded by a luncheon at my house, along with a formal rehersal dinner the night before. The party post reception party broke up at around 2AM, or so I heard. The happy couple are NOT usually invited, as they are supposed to be off starting their honeymoon.

Now, most of my Roman Catholic friends had a high nuptual mass at 11AM, which meant that in addition to the bridesmaid luncheon the day before, rehearsal dinner the night before, and a prewedding "young female only or male only guests/wedding party" celebration after the rehearsal dinner (which DH & I also had, separately) a wedding breakfast was included, along with a sitdown lunch, bar, dancing, etc, plus a party at the bride's parents house afterwards. If I was a bridesmaid, it meant a full weekend of activities.

Families would start saving for weddings as soon as the child was born, or go into debt to pay for it. I hope DD would rather have punch and cookies than have us do that. (Not that that will happen; see the first part of the previous sentence. I opened the wedding accounts and college accounts at the same time.)

So, yes, I might be surprised by a reception that just had a few finger sandwiches, wedding cake, and fruit punch. BUT, I would never say anything, and would stop to eat on the way home. As this only happened once after I moved south 25 years ago, it hasn't been an issue.

Traditions change over time, and I'm not sure that things are still done that way in my old neighborhood. This was back in the day when her wedding day was the crowning moment in a young woman's life, as most women in my neighborhood were neither college graduates nor professionals. They would not be going to charity balls, etc so would never have another chance to "dress up like royalty" again, until their children married.

 

[gshanny]

My cousin had a nice menu, it was the extras that had me grossed out. My salad had a worm waving at me from a leaf of lettuce. The baked potato wasn't much better. I opened it and discovered the inside was black.
I did get a new potato, but couldn't stomach a new salad.
Another cousin just did the cake, punch, nuts, mint thing at the church(real food was later). She did add one thing I had never seen served before. Ice cream. Sad thing was she had gone to Braums and got her favorite kind which was supposed to be for her and the wedding party. I saw it being served to people before she had a chance to get any. I don't know if she ever did get any either.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Worst food experience was in college. Invited to a wedding of a friend in Jesup Georgia at 5:00pm. Was expecting food since the ceremony ended at 6pm. No food, no alcohol just homemade cake. Was famished by the time I got out of there. People - if you are having a reception during a typical meal time - and have no intention of feeding your guests please warn us!

Regarding cash bar - do not do it. Serve whatever you can afford and leave it at that. To invite guests to a party and then tell them they have to pay for a part of it is a faux pas. Better to just serve pop and coffee.

 

[barbeml]

People - if you are having a reception during a typical meal time - and have no intention of feeding your guests please warn us!

Regarding cash bar - do not do it. Serve whatever you can afford and leave it at that. To invite guests to a party and then tell them they have to pay for a part of it is a faux pas. Better to just serve pop and coffee.

Excellent advice!

 

[Kimberly815]

I am getting married in less than two weeks (1/7/07) and hate to hear these stories! We are having a full sit down meal bu I hope the guests don't have any experiences like some I have read here!

 

[froglady]

She did add one thing I had never seen served before. Ice cream. Sad thing was she had gone to Braums and got her favorite kind which was supposed to be for her and the wedding party. I saw it being served to people before she had a chance to get any. I don't know if she ever did get any either.

Sad thing is a hostess planning on serving herself a food item better or different(unless due to dietary restrictions) than that served to her guests!

 

[ilovejack02]

Worst food experience was in college. Invited to a wedding of a friend in Jesup Georgia at 5:00pm. Was expecting food since the ceremony ended at 6pm. No food, no alcohol just homemade cake. Was famished by the time I got out of there. People - if you are having a reception during a typical meal time - and have no intention of feeding your guests please warn us!

Regarding cash bar - do not do it. Serve whatever you can afford and leave it at that. To invite guests to a party and then tell them they have to pay for a part of it is a faux pas. Better to just serve pop and coffee.

I am on board with this advice also, If you cant afford it dont do it!