Babysitter question

[cjparker0110]

My wife and I are blessed with close family that usually watches our kids for free. (My wife is number 4 of 10 children and still has 4 younger siblings at home...three blocks away from us). Anyway, this weekend we are unable to get them to babysit for us and started looking for a babysitter. I am a youth leader at my church so I contacted one of the girls there that I know is good with kids. She is going to babysit for us. I asked what she charges and she said that since it is Christmas and we are just trying to go Christmas shopping that she isn't going to charge anything. What a blessing! However, I feel guilty leaving her for so long for no pay. Would you consider still just paying some kind of token amount or maybe picking up some kind of treat? I don't want to insult her by not letting her bless us, but I also don't want to make her "work" for nothing. Suggestions?

 

[wilkeliza]

My wife and I are blessed with close family that usually watches our kids for free. (My wife is number 4 of 10 children and still has 4 younger siblings at home...three blocks away from us). Anyway, this weekend we are unable to get them to babysit for us and started looking for a babysitter. I am a youth leader at my church so I contacted one of the girls there that I know is good with kids. She is going to babysit for us. I asked what she charges and she said that since it is Christmas and we are just trying to go Christmas shopping that she isn't going to charge anything. What a blessing! However, I feel guilty leaving her for so long for no pay. Would you consider still just paying some kind of token amount or maybe picking up some kind of treat? I don't want to insult her by not letting her bless us, but I also don't want to make her "work" for nothing. Suggestions?

I would get her something as a thank you. Not the same exactly but we had a dog walker do this. He was just so happy to have a dog to play with he said he would do it for free. We got him a thank you card and a small gift from the show we went to because we were so thankful for him and wanted to show him that with out cheapening the "gift" of services.

 

[jen0610]

You didn't say how old she is.

If she an older teen, I would grab her a gift card to Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, or that type.

Or if she drives, a gift card to the BP or Shell station.

If she's younger, I would give her a $20.00.

Just a small thank you.

 

[mjkacmom]

Gift card - teen sitters here are $10+ an hour. Dd12 and dd14 asked for Starbucks and dunkin gift cards for Christmas (to load onto their apps). My mom was always willing to babysit for us, but we liked having a selection of paid sitters, especially if we were going to be out late. This could be nice for you in the future.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I would still pay her regardless of her act of kindness. $10 an hour at least.

 

[mjkacmom]

I would still pay her regardless of her act of kindness. $10 an hour at least.

You know, the more I think about it, this is what I'd do. I have 3 teens, and will have 2 more in a few weeks. The number 1 thing on all of their Christmas lists is cash - teens love cash, and never seem to have enough (especially this time of year, wanting to give gifts). I think if an adult called my teen, and asked how much, their first response would be "no, don't worry about it," especially if it was someone he or she respected (teacher, coach). Heck, even as an adult, if someone offers to pay me for something, I tell them no.

 

[powellrj]

How many kids and how long would make a difference for me.

 

[StitchBuddy]

I know my DD has done this for people in the past as a gift at Christmas. Depending on how old the girl is she would probably love almost any kind of gift card, it doesn't have to be for the amount you would have paid her. I am sure she is also hoping this will lead to babysitting in the future.

 

[low-key]

buy her a car

 

[Cantw8]

buy her a car

with car seats so she can drive the kids around

 

[low-key]

with car seats so she can drive the kids around

 

[Tiffylv]

.

 

[disney4us2002]

Cash! Call it a bonus, thank you, whatever. She may feel like she shouldn't ask since you are the youth pastor that is it Christian of her to do you this favor, but definitely PAY, particularly if you may ever ask her again. $3 per kid, per hour at least.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Remember OP that you don't want to appear to be taking advantage of any person's kindness. Labour should reap a reward. Would you return the favour for free?

 

[disykat]

I'm with the gift card - as a thank you - for a smaller amount than what a babysitter gets. She would not have said she'd do it as a gift if she didn't really want to give you that gift. I think you're right in your thought that you should let her give you the gift.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I'm with the gift card - as a thank you - for a smaller amount than what a babysitter gets. She would not have said she'd do it as a gift if she didn't really want to give you that gift. I think you're right in your thought that you should let her give you the gift.

Don't be so sure. My kids use to be constantly asked favours by neighbours that they didn't have the nerve to say no to. One neighbour asked my teen daughter to walk her 102 plus year old mother for "just 30 minutes a day" for $10. That "30 minutes" always turned into 2 and a half to 3 excruciating hours with a very stubborn and physically and mentally incompetent woman who would insist on taking the subway. And much worse. Not ok. My daughter dreaded it and I put a stop to it.

 

[Southernmiss]

Pay her anyway! I work at our church. Was youth minister for 20 years. Occassionally teens babysat for us to go out/shop, other personal reasons, etc. We paid them the standard rate.

You are blessed to have a pool of teens/people you know well and trust to give good care to your own kids. They in turn should be paid, even though they offered to give you their time. The reason you need a sitter is personal and not because you are doing something related to your ministry. If you needed a sitter for a brief ministry activity, then I might consider it ministry by the teen and not pay her. Otherwise I see it as cheap and taking advantage of a good thing.

As you well know, life is expensive these days for everyone.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

^This

I used to babysit and when we moved to a new location, my Dad talked me into offering the first babysitting for free in order to build up customers. He said nobody would actually pay me nothing. 3 out of the first 4 paid me nothing. I stopped doing that.

It later worked well on a military base when dealing with military personnel, but civilians were cheap b*st**ds.

People are shameful taking advantage of kids. The nerve.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

My wife and I are blessed with close family that usually watches our kids for free. (My wife is number 4 of 10 children and still has 4 younger siblings at home...three blocks away from us). Anyway, this weekend we are unable to get them to babysit for us and started looking for a babysitter. I am a youth leader at my church so I contacted one of the girls there that I know is good with kids. She is going to babysit for us. I asked what she charges and she said that since it is Christmas and we are just trying to go Christmas shopping that she isn't going to charge anything. What a blessing! However, I feel guilty leaving her for so long for no pay. Would you consider still just paying some kind of token amount or maybe picking up some kind of treat? I don't want to insult her by not letting her bless us, but I also don't want to make her "work" for nothing. Suggestions?

I'm actually surprised that you don't pay the younger siblings. I always paid my younger sister for taking care of my kids when she was still a student.

 

[cjparker0110]

Thanks for all the replies! As it turns out, her sister ended up going to the hospital last night so we won't be getting her to babysit anyway. We pretty much decided we would just give her some cash and some sort of treat for her time regardless of her protests. For those wondering, she is 16 and the two kids she was going to watch are 3/4. We were taking our other two with us. It's a moot point now. We did find another sitter who won't tell us her rate (common around here...they say to just pay what you normally pay...ummm...I can't do that). Anyway, for those of you who pray I would appreciate you praying for Hannah (that's the girl in the hospital). Thank you!

I would 100% pay her. Good sitters are hard to find (I say this as a single mom with zero family) and I'd be scared she would not say yes again (or at least be hesitant) because she's not going to want to always do it for free. A teen is generally not going to want to have a "I know I said I'd work for free, but that was just that once and I want you to pay me this time" kind of conversation and would be more likely to say no. Not saying of course that you intend on not paying her in the future, but I'd be scared she would think that. If that makes sense.

I'd say "thank you so much for the offer, but we are so thankful for your care and I insist. I hope you will sit for us again in the future!" I pay mine $10 per hour.

She had specifically said because it is Christmas, but I still didn't feel right about it. I know how much work our kids are! LOL. So yeah...I wasn't intending to never pay her if we use her again, but even here I didn't feel right about not paying her. We were looking at a good portion of her Saturday (precious time as far as I'm concerned).

I'm actually surprised that you don't pay the younger siblings. I always paid my younger sister for taking care of my kids when she was still a student.

We tried...and have a few times. But they generally refuse I think because their mom told them "this is just what family does." However, we do things for them. We run them places, I give one of them piano lessons on occasion (when we have time), my wife helps with hair and sewing repairs as well as lessons, just little things that they actually appreciate that they can't afford on their own.