At what age would you host a ....

[EMode]

Oh of course. I totally agree that there should be supervision and in a perfect world no parent would be encouraging kissing etc. However, some people have stated that no way would they allow boy girl parties. IMO that is extreme and, okay, I am going to say it....stupid imo. I say that because socializing is a big part of learning. Just because you put boys and girls together doesn't mean that they are all going to re-enact Eyes Wide Shut.:lmao: I think with every party whether it is all the same gender or not- there should be supervision. OF course some parties more than others.

Here's what I don't get about those who wouldn't allow boy/girl parties. When your kids were younger did they not have any friends they hung out with or played with that were the opposite sex? Maybe I'm strange, my kids have been friends with kids of both genders, we've never discouraged friendships like that so it would be strange to all of a sudden say sorry you can't hang out or invite so and so to a party now because s/he is the opposite sex and you are in middle school

 

[okeydokey]

Here's what I don't get about those who wouldn't allow boy/girl parties. When your kids were younger did they not have any friends they hung out with or played with that were the opposite sex? Maybe I'm strange, my kids have been friends with kids of both genders, we've never discouraged friendships like that so it would be strange to all of a sudden say sorry you can't hang out or invite so and so to a party now because s/he is the opposite sex and you are in middle school

We do. We have a big group of parents and families that hang together. We do not have eyes on the kids at all times when we have parties, but we think we have raised them to make good choices.

I wouldn't encourage a boyfrined/girlfriend relationship for an 11 year old, but I wouldn't forbid my middle schooler from hanging around with kids of the opposite sex either.

 

[Acklander]

Oh, somehow I think these sheltered kids will be just fine .

The sheltered kids will be just fine, and those who go to the boy/girl parties at an early age will be just fine. It is pretty much a non issue in the big picture.

 

[disykat]

party for boys and girls? A couple of my daughters friends parents have started this trend, the kids are 11 & 12, some of the kids are "going out", there has been some kissing and a boy with his arm around a girl. The kids are in the finished basement of the kids homes, with little parental supervision, some parents are invited to stay for "a glass of wine" which seems to turn into a bit of a drinking party.

What do you think of this?

Here's what I don't get about those who wouldn't allow boy/girl parties. When your kids were younger did they not have any friends they hung out with or played with that were the opposite sex? Maybe I'm strange, my kids have been friends with kids of both genders, we've never discouraged friendships like that so it would be strange to all of a sudden say sorry you can't hang out or invite so and so to a party now because s/he is the opposite sex and you are in middle school

I think you're forgetting the post people were responding to. It specified boy/girl parties with boy/girl interest and little supervision.

 

[EMode]

I think you're forgetting the post people were responding to. It specified boy/girl parties with boy/girl interest and little supervision.

Nope not forgetting that, that is exactly what I'm talking about. Boys and girls that age do get interested in eachother so is the answer to keep the apart or only allow them to be together under constant supervision all because you (general you) think some scene from Eyes Wide Shut (thank you MHM ) might break out?
Personally I feel either of those is too extreme, some on this thread think that is what should be done though.

 

[disykat]

Nope not forgetting that, that is exactly what I'm talking about. Boys and girls that age do get interested in eachother so is the answer to keep the apart or only allow them to be together under constant supervision all because you (general you) think some scene from Eyes Wide Shut (thank you MHM ) might break out?
Personally I feel either of those is too extreme, some on this thread think that is what should be done though.

I feel like I'm reading a different thread than you are. I think you're the one that's posting extreme things!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Here's what I don't get about those who wouldn't allow boy/girl parties. When your kids were younger did they not have any friends they hung out with or played with that were the opposite sex? Maybe I'm strange, my kids have been friends with kids of both genders, we've never discouraged friendships like that so it would be strange to all of a sudden say sorry you can't hang out or invite so and so to a party now because s/he is the opposite sex and you are in middle school

That is exactly what I am thinking. My kids have boy and girl friends. How do you all of a sudden tell your kids they can only be friends with one gender?

 

[EMode]

The sheltered kids will be just fine, and those who go to the boy/girl parties at an early age will be just fine. It is pretty much a non issue in the big picture.

What is extreme, pointing out human nature
You do realize that it is perfectly normal for 11 and 12 year olds to start noticing and being interested in the opposite sex right?
And yes I think its extreme to keep kids apart, or never letting them out of your sight because you are paranoid about what they might do. Maybe instead have some open discussions with your kids about expectations and what is proper and normal for their age when dealing with girl boy relationships.

I guess you could call me extreme, I actually trust my kids and the way I've parented them. I'm not a paranoid helicopter parent who needs to keep them from doing normal kid things in order to protect them from what I'm scared may happen.

 

[Acklander]

What is extreme, pointing out human nature
You do realize that it is perfectly normal for 11 and 12 year olds to start noticing and being interested in the opposite sex right?
And yes I think its extreme to keep kids apart, or never letting them out of your sight because you are paranoid about what they might do. Maybe instead have some open discussions with your kids about expectations and what is proper and normal for their age when dealing with girl boy relationships.

I guess you could call me extreme, I actually trust my kids and the way I've parented them. I'm not a paranoid helicopter parent who needs to keep them from doing normal kid things in order to protect them from what I'm scared may happen.

I have no problem with my kids going to a boy/girl party at any age. And I don't feel the need to stand over them when with members of the opposite sex. My parenting style is definitely of the free range variety. Other parents feel differently. I know plenty of people who grew up with overly permissive parents - they survived the experience just fine. I also know plenty of people that grew up in a very strict household with lots of rules and regulations, guess what? They survived the experience as well. If it makes someone feel better to not allow their kids to go to a boy/girl party unless they are in the same room, I say knock yourself out.

 

[skater]

I have no problem with my kids going to a boy/girl party at any age. And I don't feel the need to stand over them when with members of the opposite sex. My parenting style is definitely of the free range variety. Other parents feel differently. I know plenty of people who grew up with overly permissive parents - they survived the experience just fine. I also know plenty of people that grew up in a very strict household with lots of rules and regulations, guess what? They survived the experience as well. If it makes someone feel better to not allow their kids to go to a boy/girl party unless they are in the same room, I say knock yourself out.

Great post. Lots of common sense.

 

[marcyinPA]

I have allowed my kids to attend parties like this as long as I know the parents in some capacity, and they are home to supervise. If I were invited to stay for a glass of wine, even better in my opinion! I know my kids and have raised them to respect themselves and those they are with. They both have always been friends with boys and girls in a group and I have never had an issue with it.