at what age would you allow

[71010]

There is no way a child belongs in a delivery room. Way too many things can go wrong. What is the child getting out of it anyway? Giving birth may be a natural bodily function, but so are other things!! Would you invite your kids in for that? They're kids! Let them kiss the new beautiful baby when everyone gets out of the delivery room. Kids shouldnt have to see their parents at times like that. Why would you want your kids to see you like that?

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

We happen to be debating this one right now. A little history is in order--when I had #3, my older two were DD7 and DS6. We decided they wouldn't be present--too young, etc. Well, DD, in particular, devoted hours to preparing for the birth--reading birth books and our EMT books, etc.--she knew about episiotomies and the cephalic position, etc. The first two I was induced, so arranging childcare as needed was no problem--with #3 we had a neighbor lined up, but had no idea if I would be early or late, how long labor would be, etc. It turns out, we got to the hospital at 8:35 pm and had DD2 at 9:12 pm--even the doctor missed it! I had 5-6 of the really nasty contractions, and she was out--delivered by 3 nurses and her dad, 9 days early. DD#1 was miffed that she missed it.

Now, I'm pregnant with #4 (and the last of the line), due 3/5. We live 40 minutes from the hospital on a good day, and since 3/3 were early, I have visions of birthing in front of the wood stove during a blizzard (did I mention we live inthe Adirondacks?). So, we are prepping DD10, as a "plan C". Believe me, she's not our first choice, but given the circumstances, and her interest, I feel it's safer to plan than not! (BTW plan A is the hospital, plan B is DH). We've also promised her that, this time, she can go to the hospital if I don't have to pull her out of school (considering our timing last time, i don't want to risk the time). DS8 is a completely different story--he's more sensitive and may have issues. As the time draws closer, we'll do our best to prepare him for any scenario, but I think being in the delivery room would scare the snot out of him. And adorable as DD2 is, she would be more of a hinderance than any kind of help, and we won't need the distraction.

So, that's my answer. In a perfect world, I would just take the oldest, but she's shown her maturity in many ways that make me give that answer.

As far as people inviting their whole family (parents, aunts, etc.) in there--well, who am I to argue if you want it that way, but I think my dad would have rather had root canal, and so would my brothers!

 

[Keggy]

No - kids and other relatives would not be in the room with me except DH. The only exception to this may be my sister.

Kelly

 

[LoveWDW]

I don't like the idea of a child seeing his or her mother's personal area. As far as being near the mother's head... maybe, but I'm not so sure about the child witnessing the mother in such severe pain.

I was honored to be at the birth of my granddaughter, my son's child. I did not expect to be invited to attend. As it turns out I did encourage my son, who was wimping out, during the birth.

 

[DawnCt1]

I think it's totally appropriate if the child is given enough information beforehand. If you are going natural, that child needs to be prepared for the fact that although it hurts Mommy, she'll be OK. The child also needs to know that he/she may be asked to leave the room, for whatever reason you or your doc comes up with. I would personally not let a child younger than 7 or so, and I might keep them up by my head, rather than by my knees. I think it's a wonderful thing for a child to witness a sibling being born.

How old is your child?

Jackie

Besides the opinion that "its a wonderful thing", what would be gained?

 

[DawnCt1]

Now, I'm pregnant with #4 (and the last of the line), due 3/5. We live 40 minutes from the hospital on a good day, and since 3/3 were early, I have visions of birthing in front of the wood stove during a blizzard (did I mention we live inthe Adirondacks?). So, we are prepping DD10, as a "plan C". !

It sounds as if you are depending upon DD10 to serve as a surogate adult, and personally, regardless of her maturity, her interest in the birth process, etc, she doesn't need to be there. I suggest that you substitute Plan C with EMT's, the fire dept or whoever the first responders are in your area. It's too much responsibility for a child even when things go well. If things don't go well, its too much baggage to deal with at 10.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Actually, Dawn, we do plan to call EMS. Unfortunately, after years of being EMT's, we know that there are some people we would trust LESS than our DD10! Seriously! Like I said, it's not our first choice, but living in the sticks, possibly delivering in Feb.--it's just better to have her ready than not. Believe me, I really, really want to deliver in a hospital, but barely made it last time, and in EMT class we learned, the only relevant question to ask a laboring mom is, "Is this your first child?", because if it's not, you better have the OB kit ready! You can just go so fast.

Feel free to disagree, but I think it would be scarier for her if we didn't prep her, and then she was forced by circumstance to deliver anyway.

 

[DawnCt1]

st.

Feel free to disagree, but I think it would be scarier for her if we didn't prep her, and then she was forced by circumstance to deliver anyway.

Absolutely, she may end up being a reluctant witness and its best that she understand everything up front. Snow storms in February, precipitous births and distance from the hospital are all reasonable justifications for induction, IMO.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

There is no way a child belongs in a delivery room. Way too many things can go wrong. What is the child getting out of it anyway? Giving birth may be a natural bodily function, but so are other things!! Would you invite your kids in for that? They're kids! Let them kiss the new beautiful baby when everyone gets out of the delivery room. Kids shouldnt have to see their parents at times like that. Why would you want your kids to see you like that?

Totally agree. I dont think a child of any age belongs in the delivery room-it's not appropriate.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Double post, my DD2 was "helping" me DIS!

 

[transparant]

What if the child really wants to be there? What if THEY are the one's that express the interest of watching their sibling enter the world? As I posted earlier...I've witnessed TONS of deliveries and lots of siblings have been present (nothing bad ever happened at these deliveries either). I've seen many teenage girls who are very close with their mothers who really wanted to be there and enjoyed every minute of it. I still believe it all depends on the enviroment the child was bought up in and the child themselves. I've seen 13 year olds handle it like champs and 13 year olds who had to wait in the waiting area because it was just to much for them.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Absolutely, she may end up being a reluctant witness and its best that she understand everything up front. Snow storms in February, precipitous births and distance from the hospital are all reasonable justifications for induction, IMO.

Not arguing on induction, although having "gone both ways", I prefer natural from my perspective. In any event, my doctor won't induce unless he sees a good health reason--maybe I should eat a lot of salt to raise my BP? JK, but there would be advantages.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Feel free to disagree, but I think it would be scarier for her if we didn't prep her, and then she was forced by circumstance to deliver anyway.

I think it's a great idea preparing your dd to assist you, just in case. You really never know what can happen. The medics don't always arrive on time, especially in rural areas. When I was pregnant with my second child, we lived almost an hour from the nearest hospital, 3 miles off a dirt road. ETA's were sometimes 30 minutes or longer. Fortunately I was married to a medic!

 

[Stitchfans]

I had plans for DD24 to be at DD11 birth but it didn't work out. She was going to the classes with us, but DD11 came early and DD24 was gone on a mini vacation at that time with her father. (my ex husband)

Would of been nice if she could of experienced it with us.

 

[va32h]

What if the child really wants to be there?

Well, I can't say that I always factor in what my child wants when making a parenting decision. Sometimes what they want isn't appropriate for them, and as the grownup, what I want trumps what they want.

I also know that what my children want more than anything in the world is to please me - and they would go along with something they were unsure of, to make me happy.

I still believe it all depends on the enviroment the child was bought up in

I do agree with this. In some families, having the older siblings present would be considered positively routine. And if everyone's happy, that's great!

But I do think that if either child or parent has any reservations about the children being present, it would be wiser to err on the side of caution, and not have them there, or at least have someone who could take them out of the room if things got out of hand.

 

[Blondy876]

I think it depends in the child and thier age. My dd who was 5 at the time wanted to be in the room when her sister was born. I said no way. She wouldn't have been able to handle it. I think you need to know the child in order to make the best decision.

I do believe that if you do have a chld in the room that that child should have a "sitter". A family member that is there for them to take them to get somthing to eat or to usher them out of the room should a situation arrive.

 

[PaulaSue]

Sorry, I believe any age is welcome if another adult is there to help the child/ren.

 

[aprilgail2]

I wouldn't want a child there at ANY age...heck I didn't want anyone other than me, the Dr and the nurse and that is exactly who I had in there with me!

 

[minkydog]

I think it's a great idea preparing your dd to assist you, just in case. You really never know what can happen. The medics don't always arrive on time, especially in rural areas. When I was pregnant with my second child, we lived almost an hour from the nearest hospital, 3 miles off a dirt road. ETA's were sometimes 30 minutes or longer. Fortunately I was married to a medic!

i agree. I wouldn't want the 10yo to have to deliver the baby, but under the circumstances I would want her to be able to help appropriately.

My best friend developed brittle gestational diabetes during her last pregnancy. She could go from normal to shock in a matter of minutes. They lived in the country and her DH worked odd shifts. She taught her 6yo what to watch for and how to call Daddy if an emergency occured. One afternoon, the 6yo recognized the signs of an impending insulin overload and while my friend fell unconscious, her 6yo daughter called 911 AND her dad. By the time the EMTs arrived she had turned her mother on her side and was stroking her face and trying to get her to respond. She had been taught all these things by her mother and despite a terrible stutter, which made her speak nearly unintelligible, she was able to summon help and saved her mother's life.

 

[TomD]

I was there for the birth of my 2 daughters.. I saw things that I am still trying to forget

Seriously though I wouldnt want a child in there.