At what age is it appropriate to give your child a cell phone?

[sparks19]

I think she just meant it's cute in the same way when you hear about someone without kids talking about how THEIR baby would never <fill in the blank>. It's easy to sit back with a 3 year old and think about how things are going to go, but once you get to the teen years you'll be laughing at how naive you were - I know I have

I'm sure I will but there's no harm in thinking about the future now and trying to decide what I think are important rules and how I might want to handle certain situations. I'm sure it will change as the years progress

I dont' know she may decide to say "screw college" and start travelling with the circus lol but I hope I wouldn't look back and think about how silly we were to save for college (although the way we are doing it has a stipulation for if she decides not to do that so we've got that covered LOL)

I just know I don't want to listen to the latest #1 song playing everytime her phone rings lol

That being said... she is playign with my Iphone right now... so do I REALLY have that long before the cell phone wanting becomes an issue? lol

 

[pyrxtc]

My DD14 will get a cell phone when she has the need to have one and she can pay for it. Every class in her school has a phone in it. When she is out riding her bike or going back and forth to a friends house, she is free to carry my old phone which stays charged and is still able to call 911 if she needs to.

I understand she is missing out on texting with her friends, she also does not have a Facebook page. She is free to call friends from home whenever she needs to as long as it is before 8:15. No receiving calls after 8:30. She does have e-mail and with it she had G-Chat. When she had her Zune (she lost it at school after 3 months) she was able to G-Chat with her friends through that also with our wi-fi.

I have met many teens with cell phones and they seem to have lost the ability to communicate in person. They don't know to look you in the eye when speaking, they tend not to speak in whole sentences and when they do, it is by filling in the sentence with the words "Umm" and "Like".

My DD has one friend who I let my DD go off with in the mall and she told me I could just call her to meet when I was ready instead of them watching the time. I took me calling 3 times, texting once and then searching the mall for them before I found them over an hour after my first call.

When my DD starts spending more time out and actually needs a phone, perhaps when she is driving herself around, then we will get one for her. Maybe we'll even pay for it since she will be paying for gas, insurance, and car already. I have 2 years to make up my mind.

As far as what the future brings us, I had to laugh when someone posted about us just having a chip in our hand. My DD and I were just talking about having that same thing last week. Still haven't quite figured out how to put in the numbers for dialing and forget texting through it but still..... No accidental butt dialing then !! Haha!!

 

[Poohforyou]

I see a lot of people saying their kids can have a phone when he or she can pay for it. I don't know if that decision is solely for financial reasons but if so it only costs about $10 a month to add another number to a family plan and the free phones are decent enough.

Oh, and I agree with others about a child having a phone gives parents peace of mind. For us that was the main reason we got DD her phone. The fact that she can keep in touch with friends is a bonus.

 

[tlbwriter]

As far as what the future brings us, I had to laugh when someone posted about us just having a chip in our hand. My DD and I were just talking about having that same thing last week. Still haven't quite figured out how to put in the numbers for dialing and forget texting through it but still..... No accidental butt dialing then !! Haha!!

"Mom, why do they call it 'dialing' when all you do is say the person's name into your hand?"

 

[DisneyScraps]

I think that kids get them to young. We all lived just fine as kids without cell phones. I have a daughter who is 10 and last Christmas my Mom bought her a cell phone. I made her return it and I was really mad. My feeling is my daughter doesn't need one she is always with an adult that has a cell phone. At 10 she is not left by herself at all so it's completely unnecessary.

 

[scrapquitler]

Oh, and I agree with others about a child having a phone gives parents peace of mind. For us that was the main reason we got DD her phone. The fact that she can keep in touch with friends is a bonus.

True. I kind of chuckle, because my 14yo DD thinks that I got her a cell phone to be nice to her. The fact is, she has a cell phone for MY peace of mind and for MY convenience. But she doesn't know that. It's easier for ME if I can get hold of her when she is at her friends house, etc. Not because it's its cool for her to have it to text her friends a gazillion times a day.

 

[tlbwriter]

I think that kids get them to young. We all lived just fine as kids without cell phones.

If your kid doesn't need a cell phone, fine, she doesn't need a cell phone. But to say she doesn't need one just because you didn't have one as a child is kind of silly. Does she use a computer? An mp3 player? Does she watch DVDs? Does she ride in a car with airbags and ABS?

I have a daughter who is 10 and last Christmas my Mom bought her a cell phone. I made her return it and I was really mad.

I would have been mad too. That's a parenting decision.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

yeah by then we'll probably have chips inserted in our hands so we can just flip our hand open and talk lol who KNOWS what we will come up with by then

it's cute that I think about the future? you ddidn't think about the future when you had kids? am I just supposed to ignore that one day she's going to grow up? LOL I like to have some morals and rules planned to teach her. Is that wrong? does that make me silly? I already said there is lots of time for that to change and for me to change my mind but there is nothing wrong with having some BASIC idea of what I think is OK or not OK. I'm thinking more about how I'm a stay at home mom... so we live on one income. we don't have an infinite amount of money and at this point a third cell phone would just be an extra bill. There will be one so she can contact us... no matter what kind of device it is by then... she'll need to be able to call us. But we'll have a home phone (unless cell phones suddenly start offering free international calling lol) and that's sufficient enough for keeping in contact with friends To have a cell phone for "playing" she can have when she can contribute to the bill. of course like I said that is my thinking at THIS point and I know how stupid to think about things when she's young... but maybe if I make it clear all through the years that a cell phone will be a privilege that she will have to pay for then she won't be so shocked when she's 13 and asks for a personal phone and I say No

We are saving for her college education too... isn't that silly how I think we have that planned out.

I know... terrible parent lol I get railed on on other forums too for this position. like no cell phone is a crime against humanity lol

No need to get angry.

As PP said it is "cute" because when your kids are actually teens reality of the situation sets in esp. for girls. It becomes a matter of safety.

 

[mickeyboat]

Man - all this hate about a silly $10 per month cell phone.

We always said not until middle school, but decided last Christmas to get DDs 10 and 11 phones for Christmas. They have started coming home after school, and I like that they can contact me if they need to at any time. I find I am willing to give them more freedom if I know we can easily stay in contact.

They aren't texting all the time (anymore), they don't use it at inappropriate times and their phones charge in my room at night. I have complete access to all their messages and can set controls on line if I want to. I also love that it is a good currency to take away when they are not behaving.

 

[EMom]

We have a landline, I have a cell and DH has a cell. DD11 doesn't because there's no need for one. I take her everywhere she needs to go. When she starts jr. high, we may get one for her.

My mini vent is over a friend of hers and their cell phone. They moved here from out of state and I don't believe they have a landline. They kept their out of state cell phone numbers. So when that kid started calling DD and leaving messages, it was on our landline. We never make long distance calls from our landline, only our cells. If DD calls the kid back, I'm not going to let her call long distance on the landline, so she has to use one of our cells. So that meant the kid started calling our cell phones to get hold of DD. NOT! My cell phone is not a chat line for DD. After one day of numerous calls from this kid, I told DD to pass along the message that: She needs to only call our landline OR they need to get a local landline OR they need to get a local cell phone....but stop calling my cell phone.

 

[Kat77]

We have a landline, I have a cell and DH has a cell. DD11 doesn't because there's no need for one. I take her everywhere she needs to go. When she starts jr. high, we may get one for her.

My mini vent is over a friend of hers and their cell phone. They moved here from out of state and I don't believe they have a landline. They kept their out of state cell phone numbers. So when that kid started calling DD and leaving messages, it was on our landline. We never make long distance calls from our landline, only our cells. If DD calls the kid back, I'm not going to let her call long distance on the landline, so she has to use one of our cells. So that meant the kid started calling our cell phones to get hold of DD. NOT! My cell phone is not a chat line for DD. After one day of numerous calls from this kid, I told DD to pass along the message that: She needs to only call our landline OR they need to get a local landline OR they need to get a local cell phone....but stop calling my cell phone.

We see this all the time with our kids friends. We switched our landline to a Clear package last year and all US calls are covered now. Not something I would do for my kids convience but it was an appriciated bonus.

No cells yet. My kids can text from their touches with a textfree app. I have the apps linked to email so I can check up on them if necessary. They need wifi access but hotspots are everywhere in the city so it works for us. My SIL lives in the country and likes that her DD12 can only text from home. When my kids start driving, we'll spring for a phone. Until then, we have a pay as you go they share for trips and sleepovers.

 

[kirstenb1]

Man - all this hate about a silly $10 per month cell phone.

We always said not until middle school, but decided last Christmas to get DDs 10 and 11 phones for Christmas. They have started coming home after school, and I like that they can contact me if they need to at any time. I find I am willing to give them more freedom if I know we can easily stay in contact.

They aren't texting all the time (anymore), they don't use it at inappropriate times and their phones charge in my room at night. I have complete access to all their messages and can set controls on line if I want to. I also love that it is a good currency to take away when they are not behaving.

We don't have a family cel plan. DH's phone that he gets through work is $100.00 a month. I honestly don't know what it would cost for dd to have a cel phone, but I'm guessing more than $10. Anyway, she has Facebook, and we have to drive her virtually everywhere, so I'm just not seeing the need yet. If I were working, or she were driving, then you bet she'd have one.

Everyone around here still has landlines, so if she's at a friends' house, all she has to do is call us, if needed.

 

[ohiomom28]

My ds11 has had one since he was 10. Mainly because he was home after school alone. Now, he is home alone less and he still has it. I like that I can get ahold of him whenever I need to. As far as he knows I can see who he texts and calls even if hewere to delete them. I look through his phone all the time.

 

[sparks19]

No need to get angry.

As PP said it is "cute" because when your kids are actually teens reality of the situation sets in esp. for girls. It becomes a matter of safety.

I'm not angry

for safety? I already said she will have a cell phone when she starts going out on her own. Just the phone will have limited calling abilities like only calling home, our cells, and an emergency contact (and of course 911).

It just wouldn't have all out access. If she wants full access then she'll have to be willing to pay the monthly bill for it (whatever the add on cost is)

This is waht I say now... in this world at this time. When she's that age who knows what we will be talking into

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

DD(8) will get a phone when it is more convenient for ME if she has one. Since we don't have a land line, she will get a cell phone before she is allowed to stay home alone, and if we get to a point where we are dropping her off at a lot of activities that might end early, we would get her a cell phone. Until then, she can dream.

 

[sparks19]

LOL this reminds me of my hubby's cousins son.

He just turned 8 in March and cousin was telling us before Christmas that he asked for a cell phone and a parrot for Christmas Odd combo

She said she looked at him for a moment because she thought he was kidding. when she saw he was serious she said "uhhhh... NO and NO. pick something else" LOL

a cell phone and a parrot

 

[pooh4evr]

Well 2 of my DDs have 1 pay as you go phone that they share- for emergencies only. They take it with them to soccer practices when we have multiple places to be and they are dropped off.- We haven't had to use it yet but it has helped ease some anxiety issues DD#2 was having in the fall- they are 10 and 8 - the phone is kept in my room except when it is in their bag, they paly select soccer and are at the fields 4 nights a week.

 

[goofy!]

We don't have a family cel plan. DH's phone that he gets through work is $100.00 a month. I honestly don't know what it would cost for dd to have a cel phone, but I'm guessing more than $10. Anyway, she has Facebook, and we have to drive her virtually everywhere, so I'm just not seeing the need yet. If I were working, or she were driving, then you bet she'd have one.

Everyone around here still has landlines, so if she's at a friends' house, all she has to do is call us, if needed.

That is one of the reasons my kids have cell phones.

I remember way too vividly a time where I was at a friend's house and was not comfortable with the situation. My parents did all the right things by meeting the parents, etc, but you know the saying....behind closed doors...

I wanted to call home to have my parents come get me, but the Mom kept saying "oh, let's just go try it again.." and basically would not let me call home. As an adult now, I can reflect back that she probably took it personally that I wanted to go home and didn't want it to reflect badly on her.

One other time, I was at a party where drugs were brought out. I went upstairs to call home. Parents asked me why. I hemmed and hawed, not wanting to say "Uh, your daughter just pulled out the bong"

I vowed my kids would never be in that position where they would have to explain why they wanted to use the phone. Now they can quietly go to the bathroom and text me to come get them if they are EVER uncomfortable in a situation. Nobody has to know they texted. No conversation during a call to overhear.

I will show up with some excuse about a family thing and I am sorry but DD has to come home now.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm not angry

for safety? I already said she will have a cell phone when she starts going out on her own. Just the phone will have limited calling abilities like only calling home, our cells, and an emergency contact (and of course 911).

It just wouldn't have all out access. If she wants full access then she'll have to be willing to pay the monthly bill for it (whatever the add on cost is)

This is waht I say now... in this world at this time. When she's that age who knows what we will be talking into

I believe when your dd is old enough what we have today will not even resemble what is available for your dd.

When my oldest was 3 cell phones and the "internet" did not even exist to me and then when we did get it we had DIAL UP.

I can't keep up. I am officially "old" and it ticks me off. I don't have the finances to keep up.

My dd's are almost 20 and 14 and we have drawn the line with "technology" as well. They have a basic phone, computer, unlimited texting. Anything else, they need to pay for it themselves.

I would love to have phones with dataplans, new IPODS, IPADS, KINDLE, PS3, HDTV, etc....I could go on.

These darn old TV's refuse to die. I think they will have 8D TV out when they eventually crap out.

 

[goofy!]

My DD14 will get a cell phone when she has the need to have one and she can pay for it. Every class in her school has a phone in it. When she is out riding her bike or going back and forth to a friends house, she is free to carry my old phone which stays charged and is still able to call 911 if she needs to.

I understand she is missing out on texting with her friends, she also does not have a Facebook page. She is free to call friends from home whenever she needs to as long as it is before 8:15. No receiving calls after 8:30. She does have e-mail and with it she had G-Chat. When she had her Zune (she lost it at school after 3 months) she was able to G-Chat with her friends through that also with our wi-fi.

I have met many teens with cell phones and they seem to have lost the ability to communicate in person. They don't know to look you in the eye when speaking, they tend not to speak in whole sentences and when they do, it is by filling in the sentence with the words "Umm" and "Like".

Funny, I have a 14 year old too, around teens every day and have never seen a teen yet that has lost the ability to communicate.

And "um" and "like" has been a problem long, long before texting was in vogue. Remember "valley girl speak" where every other word was "like."

My DD has one friend who I let my DD go off with in the mall and she told me I could just call her to meet when I was ready instead of them watching the time. I took me calling 3 times, texting once and then searching the mall for them before I found them over an hour after my first call.

So, what is it? First you complain that kids spend too much time on their phones and can't have a conversation. Now you are upset because a teen wasn't paying closer attention to their phone? They obviously were conversing and doing other things besides being glued to their phone for an hour. You can't have it both ways.

And if you want to be able to contact your daughter in a mall quickly, then you need her to have a phone with your rules, ie; how often she needs to check it for messages from you when in a certain situation.