at what age do you quit having aunts/uncle/cousins to your childs birthday party?

[EthansMom]

marissat, what's a yankee swap?

I've heard of people doing a book exchange for the child's birthday -- everyone comes to the party with a new book to exchange and leaves with a different book. I'd probably do that when the kids get older.

 

[Tjaleks]

Since there are 12 cousins locally, (including my 2) ranging from 3-13 we decided last year to have on big party in June for just family so the kids could have their Bdays to do whatever they would like. Since none of them have a birthday in June it turned out great. It was kinda like Xmas in the middle of the year. All the kids were able to run around, enjoy they cousins, have cake and ice cream, get presents and it did not interfer with their own special day.

Besides I was able to send them all outside to play when it got too noisy

 

[marissat]

marissat, what's a yankee swap?

I've heard of people doing a book exchange for the child's birthday -- everyone comes to the party with a new book to exchange and leaves with a different book. I'd probably do that when the kids get older.

sort of like that. Everyone brings in a wrap present for a boy or girl no more than $10 and then the kids draw numbers and each one gets to pick a present for themselves. When adults do it the #1 get to pick and opens the present, then #2 picks and opens hers and if she wants to trade with #1 she can, then #3 get to choose from the other two until the end the #1 gets to trade whatever she has for whatever she wants! But decide not to do the trade thing with the kids. I will let them hold on to the presents until everyone gets one then all open them at the same time. Then if they want to trade the parents can wheel and deal.
we went a little crazy this year and have 20 kids coming so I thought this was the best way to control the clutter in my house!!!!

Marissa

 

[carone0318]

For me the multiple parties ended once I started spending about $250 to have kids party for her. For family we still get together for her birthday, but it is just to come over for cake, no other food. My dd is going to be 9 in Sept and after this year she may get the option of a big party or just a few friends and do something bigger with just them. She has 2 really good friends that i think she would rather spend the time with than with about 20 kids, it hard because she plays on a soccer team and she is also on a competitive gymnastics team, we have to invite everyone. She wants a swimming party this year and since our swim club closes Labor Day weekend we are having her party 2 week before her birthday on Sat of Labor Day, hopefully people will be away and won't come (ha-ha wishful thinking.) We still send in something small to her class, but I would think that would be coming to an end soon, she is entering 4th grade and I will have to find out how they handle it. I'll send cookies or doughnuts, something small but still can celebrate with. As for ds, he is 4 and we pretty much handle it the same way as with dd, she has set the standard for us .

 

[ksjayhawkfan]

We will never stop inviting our family to the kids' parties. I cant imagine NOT having them there. We have 1 party and everyone is invited(friends/family/whoever lol) My kids would be heartbroken if we stopped that.

And this is coming from the youngest of 9 kids. I have 4 brothers and 4 sisters, 20 neices and nephews, and 1 great neice. My DH is the youngest of 5 and has 12 neices and nephews. And out of all those family members, about 80 percent live in the same town as we do or within 30 miles lol.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

We also do one big party and invite everyone! DS's birthday is in June so it is almost always a pool party. I was not sure what DS would want as he grew older but at 13 he is still happy to have his buddies, grandparents, little cousins etc all together. The kids swim, grandparents sit in the shade and everyone has fun. Most of the time it is pizza or hotdogs as well as cake and homemade ice cream. On the day of the birthday, we go out to eat as a family and he gets at least a small gift from us.

 

[kkaisu]

We stopped the BIG b-day(cousins aunts uncles) parties after the first birthday. My DD is now 13, every other year she gets a bigger birthday party with friends (6-7 girls)(one year we did a limo and dinner at a restaurant here just like theTeppanyaki at WDW. (my cousins had their own limo with chauffer - so I only had to pay the chauffer, limo was free, love having rich cousins ). The opposite year she can have a couple of girls spend the night for pizza and movies. Every year we have also have one birthday dinner at my parents with her great grandfather there also. Her dad is not involved but his mom always takes her for a day of shopping, movies and out to eat around her birthday. My SO's family does the group birthday any month their are B-days in the family - this is sunday dinner at his grandma's, presents for kids under 16, they always include my daughter in this also. Too many parties + too much stress

 

[Nik's Mom]

For our family, the birthday parties are mostly attended by the extended family and a few friends. The extended family is very important to dh, well to me too. And dh's family is pretty big, so just his side is about 25 people.
Our kids are 3 and 6 and we've stopped the birthday parties. Our kids just aren't into them. We take them on vacation instead. They love that!

 

[patsal]

We are a really close family so we do the big family thing and I invite everyone--if someone is unable to attend no big deal. The kids have friend parties, if they want or choose the extravagant gift if they do not. I think when they get older they may opt for the cake only extended family get together. Even if they did that I would host a picnic in June and August for the extended family.

I often miss my nephews birthday parties since I am on vacation. If Easter is in Paril and I choose to go to WDW I miss the party. Every other year I go to WDW over July 4th and miss my nephews birthday party--born on 2nd has party on 4th. I just call on the day to give wishes and drop the gift off prior to leaving.

 

[tlbwriter]

We have a separate "school" party (cupcakes and punch only), a "friend" party (held someplace fun), and a "family" party (this is where we give her our gifts). I could never do away with the family party, but we are lucky enough not to have family issues that would make me consider that.

 

[can'twait]

My DD's bday is in December so it was hard to schedule something that wouldn't interfere with shopping days and my DS' bday is in August when everyone was on vacay. We did BIG parties for the first bdays then the invite list dwindled, then people started not showing. This year I decided no family parties except for pizza and cake with DH's mom, aunt/uncle and cousins, all of whom live in the same town. We bring cupcakes to school and in the past had kids' parties where we would invite all the girls or all the boys. This time I'm going to ask the kids which kids from the class they want to invite, to hopefully whittle it down a bit. Taking 25 kids to mini golf is nuts!

 

[PaulaSue]

You all are so lucky..both dh and I are only children. I remember how much fun it was to see everyone for that kind of stuff.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

My kids choose what they want to do for their birthdays. Because we're in the military we usually don't live close enough to have to worry about family coming, but when we did we just told them when we were having cake and let them decide whether or not to come. Our extended family is not very dependable so I wouldn't want to try to plan something, who knows if they would show up or not.

I give them a choice of having a party or going somewhere or having a party somewhere depending on the cost and how many kids they want to invite, or how many they know. We moved where we live now just before my DS's 6th birthday so we took him to Chuck E. Cheese, just our family (no extended or friends), and had cake and presents at home. My 7 year old DS has asked to go bowling for his Sept. birthday. I'm leery of having a party somewhere because I did that for my DD one year and after paying alot of money for it no one came.

I don't usually do any treats at school, but most of my kids have summer birthdays so that's not much of an issue, but it really seems unneccessary to me.

 

[btass]

The only one that the "family" was invited to was DS's first birthday.

I figure if they want to come over for cake that was fine, and I invite them over by saying "just come over for some cake and coffee around 7pm on Sunday" That way I don't have to make food, just a cake! I know I sound sorta cheap, but I am really not, I just don't have the time to do it or the money to spend on food for 21 people!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

btass, you in no way do you sound cheap! You sound SENSIBLE! I only wished I had done what you had done so many years ago. Now I wonder if they (my family) just "expect" it.....................

 

[EthansMom]

btass, you in no way do you sound cheap! You sound SENSIBLE! I only wished I had done what you had done so many years ago. Now I wonder if they (my family) just "expect" it.....................

My in-laws do expect to be fed a meal for the kids' birthday parties. If it was just the kids, I could have gotten away with cake and ice cream. But since we invite the in-laws, I'm looking at spending at least $100 on food for DS's birthday party this weekend -- doing BBQ hot dogs, sausages, soda, chips, potato salad, veggies and dip.

I got off pretty cheap for DD's birthday in April -- made up a couple large crocks of pasta, bag of salad from Costco, bread, and a bottle of wine. Everyone loved the food, it was easy to prepare (made the pasta up the day before and cooked it the day of), and the cost wasn't too bad.

I do like the idea of inviting the family over for cake and coffee after dinner when the kids get older! Thanks for the idea btass!!!!

 

[my3princes]

My kids are all born (3 of them) within 2 months of each other so we do one big party somewhere in between for all of our extended family. They each get a school party, friend party and immediate family party. I expect that we will do this until they graduate from high school. That is what my family has always done.

 

[mist_e_rose2002]

This is causing strife at my house. Please tell me what you do with your family.

At what age (for the child) do you stop having a party with the guests being the aunts, uncles, and cousins?

We already have a party at school (Party #1). Our child has a party at home for friends (Party #2). We have (Party #3) a special dinner with just us, the parents, and we give our gifts then. These three parties, I am not willing to give up.

(Party #4) usually involves some of the extended family who lives in our city. (aunts, uncles, cousins) Sometimes, but not always, we have (Party #5) when we go out of town to see the grandparents and more aunts and uncles/cousins.

At what age does the madness stop? Any suggestions?
I am trying to find a way out of Party #4. What is a good way and a good age?

This is a lot on our budget of TIME and NERVES, not just of money. And if we were a part of one big, loving, happy family, it would be different. But that really isn't the case.

ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!! Thank you in advance......

I have a 13 year old (in august) and we only do one party. Everyone is invited or not. I have never done a family only party. Anyway, my mom doesnt particularily enjoy b-day parties, so she stopped coming years ago.

I say that you tell the family it is too much to do that many parties, but they are welcome to come to the other or to spend some alone time with the child. That is what my mom likes. Rather than come to a party, she takes my ds out by himself.

you shouldnt drive yourself crazy trying to please everybody...thats what christmas and thanksgiving is for

 

[Teacher0510]

When my daughter started nursery school and had friends I only had cake and presents on her actual birthday wih my parents and my siblings. She then had a party with friends each year-at first at home, then bowling, zoo, Embassy Suites, etc. Her last big family bash was her 3rd birthday. She turned 21(!) in May!

 

[njcarita]

i actually enjoy all the parties

i have 3 kids and they each usually have 3 parties each and something at school

my oldest is turning 10 and my little one in turning 4 next month--- so i have lots of parties planned over the next few weeks

i actually dread the day when they won't want parties anymore

but then again there are always the grand kids to look forward too!!! and help plan parties for