Aspergers

[DVCisME]

Can someone please help me. I think my son might have aspergers. For those of you who have children with aspergers, what made you think that was the issue? Is there anything that really stood out? What is the next step?

Thanks for any and all input.

 

[carrollchristoph]

Hello!

I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to post this concern. I'm sure that you'll get some very thoughtful responses.

Most parents who are wrestling with this diagnosis have been through a lot of "labels". We have a whole shelf of books on difficult children, active children, etc! If you're thinking about Aspergers, I would first check out anything by Tony Attwood. He has some excellent books that are available at almost any local bookstore or on Amazon. He also has a website with some excellent introductory info (http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/)

My only other comment is that a diagnosis does not change your child. He's still the same wonderful child. Now you'll just have a name to describe how he behaves.

Good luck!

 

[KirstenB]

You could make an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. A team of them dx'd our daughter. We found ours at UVA Children's Hospital. I hesitate to advise you on symptoms/signs because

1. our daughter was very young when diagnosed with autism
2. she doesn't have Aspergers, although she's considered high functioning, her speech is still delayed, which is not the case with Aspergers.

How old is your child? School age? The kids I know with Asperger's can be "little professors". They often have a keen interest in something, and will carry on a one-sided conversation with anyone about it. They have difficulty with the back and forth of conversation, and have trouble sensing when the other person is bored, and it's time to shift topics.

 

[a1tinkfans]

First, I agree with another Poster.....Your wonderful child is still wonderful, only NOW you'll be able to be Pro active and decide what is BEST for your child (once an official diagnosis is given) No two children are alike on the spectrum...No AS kid, no autistic kid...they are all so very different...each with strengths and weaknesses...

Some things that come to mind....
Poor Eye Contact.
Poor Social relatedness (does not easily make friends or even want too) .
Many have sensory integration issues (only eat certain foods, only drink certain drinks, only wear certain types of clothing..no jeans for years, had to be soft and stretchy, sweatpants galore!)
Unable to have a typical conversation, ie; it is often one sided with them controlling rather than participating in what others think.
Often will rock back and forth or arm flap (a behavior that makes them feel calmer.)
Many Love to be on swings and trampolines...for the stimulation...and can do it a LONG time..
Unable to move from task to task easily.
Usually require tasks to be broken down rather than one command, like get ready for shcool Versus, brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, etc etc...
Many get "fixated". with topics (boats), toys..etc ..,. Like "POOH everything"
Many are VERY bright, often thought to be gifted.

All I can say is GO with your GUT! Seek help from others, there are so many wonderful childrens hospitals, doctors and services (social interaction classes, sensory interaction classes etc etc) available.
You have to be your childs advocate, so if something does not "feel" right to you, ask and ask again! Remember that YOUR child can excel at many things and the faster and more pro-active you become, the better in the long run...Don't be afraid to speak up and realize that school is there to "help YOUR child" they are responsible to make him as mainstreamed as possible. Many get sidetracked to believe that the teacher can't help him and many will medicate to "control" a behavior/s...well, it is a personal decision, BUT guess, what its their Job and responsibility to Teach to YOUR child, so if an aid is needed or Xtra steps are warranted, please seek that out and see that they are in place.
It is often most difficult for AS kids in the unrestricted areas/times, like lunch and gym versus class time, so school being cognizant of that is so very important.
They can get "picked" on as they are often seen as the "odd duck" so one needs to be aware of that possibilty.....
They see things as Black or White, NO gray...It either IS or it is NOT, and theres no middle ground for many of them....that is a TOUGH one!!!

Well, guess you can tell I am passionate about this very topic...
Please seek out guidance!
Wishing the VERY best of everything to you and your precious boy!!! I hope you'll let us know whats happening....... Its amazing what time and energy and dedication to your child can bring...CHANGE is possible and SUCCESS comes with it so Forge ahead ...............

 

[DVCisME]

Well, I spoke to NJ Autism, an advocate for autism awarness, and the child study team. When I was describing some of the behavior/tendencies of my son, the child study team was able to pick up where I stopped or go further on what I was saying. It was a huge relief to finally be understood. I am going to have him evaluated and find futher information. I have absolutely no problem advocating for my son. I am so happy to finally have an answer to some of my questions.
My son is 5 years old and has a hard time socializing and transitioning. He sees everything as black and white. I feel embarassed for him when he has a long conversation and no one is paying attention. He knows exactly what he wants and does not stop. He is extremely routined.... But he is a great kid and I know he will be able to thrive.
If anyone has any suggestions or advice, I am all ears. TIA

 

[KirstenB]

Is your son already in preschool?

I'm sure you'll get some good information once he and you meet with doctors who can help you find the next step. I used to frequent autismspeaks.org message boards and found them helpful. I believe they've become less moderated, so more of a free for all. Lots of controversy and drama that's too much for me.

But, one thing I did consistently hear is that if you have a child on the spectrum, NJ is a great state in terms of services and support.

As I mentioned our dd is young, she's turning 4 in 3 weeks. She completed a year of special ed preschool last year, and her speech and social skills have greatly improved. When you see the doctors, regardless of the dx, ask them what's next? What environment will help him thrive? Hugs!

 

[jezaduck24]

DVCisME, just wanted to offer you a round of support. My DS who just turned 4 yesterday has just been diagnosed with Aspergers. Several people on the DIS recommended the Tony Attwood book and it really confirmed so much for us before the diagnosis came. I also picked up a book called 'Asperger Answers' by Susan Ashley PhD. It is less clinical than the Attwood book, it may not be the best but has given us some 'quick and dirty' bits to read as we learn.
Try to find a support group for yourself as well....this summer has been hard on my husband and I emotionally as we deal with DS's challenges as well as our DD2 who is speech delayed and in speech therapy. Some days it just seems too much. Our local support group takes summers off but boy oh boy am I looking forward to that first meeting. It's good to see one of the OP mentioned your state has great resources. We live in Ga and just outside of Metro Atlanta's larger and more affluent counties so I am a little concerned about what will be available for DS as he goes into the school system. He is very much a 'little professor' and not a rough and tumble boy...I worry for him socially. At any rate, we seem to both be at the beginning of a new path for our little ones. I wish you and your little guy the very best of luck!

 

[bookwormde]

Of the Tony Atwood books and information his “The Complete Guide to Aspergers” C/2007 is the best first read and is available on Amazon for about $25. It provides the best list I have seen of characteristics and manifestations in a “real world” description.

NJ is one of the best states for local information, and services so you are lucky there. Also I would recommend that you find a parents support group for Aspergers as this will provide great insights and local “contacts”. If you lived near the Delaware memorial bridge I would invite you over to our Delaware group.

There were lots of “clues" with my son but what really made us push for a diagnosis was that as he moved into 1st grade his anxiety levels rose rapidly primarily due to sensory differentials and his lack of innate social skills and understanding of the social world around him.

bookwormde

 

[DVCisME]

My son is going to start kindergarten in Sept. Thank you so much for the support and info already. This past week I have been so stressed and am actually starting to feel better.

 

[Starr W.]

My son is going to start kindergarten in Sept. Thank you so much for the support and info already. This past week I have been so stressed and am actually starting to feel better.

I have an Aspie, he will be starting 7th grade this year(2nd yr at Jr. High).

I was so worried the first day of Jr. High, but he came home and was "it was okay." He even did the week long 6th grade environmental camp last spring(he was gone a week).

I've noticed and so has our develop. ped and others(kempo karate instructors, teachers) the big jump in maturity and being able to handle things this year.

We're very proud of him, he was a Presidential scholar in 5th grade and was on the Honor Roll all 4 Qtrs of 6th grade. But we are also pretty hard on him to use the breathing and self coaching(learned at psychologist) to get him through things. He's in regular classes, but gets APE.

It hasn't been easy and there has been a lot of therapy and the running around that goes with it. Yes, he has his moments but as he's gotten older they are less.

 

[stormz8]

In NJ, you can check with COSAC and there are several support groups with a wealth of information. Also check on the ASA web site.

 

[BabyEars]

My son is going to start kindergarten in Sept. Thank you so much for the support and info already. This past week I have been so stressed and am actually starting to feel better.

I am so glad that you got this diagnosis early. There are so many books that can help you learn how to teach you son those social skills he needs so badly. There are also so many things you can learn to help you avoid those horrible meltdowns that can happen when over stimulated.

There are also tremedous resources available to you in the community and in the school. Make sure you develop an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). This will be a tremendous resource for you throughout his education. You can have things in the IEP such as extended time to complete work, modified assignments, a word proccesor if handwriting is needed, social groups, occupation therapy to help with handwriting and typing skills, an extra set of books to keep at home, ect.... I keep in constant contact with teachers and I stay on top of his education. I MAKE teachers who have tenure and don't believe in "diagnosis" who think every kid needs to be forced to conform follow EVERY aspect of the IEP. I have been know to involve an educational advocate and to threaten a lawsuit if the school did not provide the services to my son require BY LAW.

If you need any advice my email is cruise_addicts @ hotmail.com

 

[a1tinkfans]

I am so glad that you got this diagnosis early. There are so many books that can help you learn how to teach you son those social skills he needs so badly. There are also so many things you can learn to help you avoid those horrible meltdowns that can happen when over stimulated.

There are also tremedous resources available to you in the community and in the school. Make sure you develop an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). This will be a tremendous resource for you throughout his education. You can have things in the IEP such as extended time to complete work, modified assignments, a word proccesor if handwriting is needed, social groups, occupation therapy to help with handwriting and typing skills, an extra set of books to keep at home, ect.... I keep in constant contact with teachers and I stay on top of his education. I MAKE teachers who have tenure and don't believe in "diagnosis" who think every kid needs to be forced to conform follow EVERY aspect of the IEP. I have been know to involve an educational advocate and to threaten a lawsuit if the school did not provide the services to my son require BY LAW.

If you need any advice my email is cruise_addicts @ hotmail.com

Geeze, I could have written this myself.....WAY to go Mom!!!!
AS is not a "sentence" just another reminder that EVERYONE is different!
EMBRACE individuality!!!

EARLY intervention is KEY to success!

 

[sjanus]

The Behavioral Support Plan in the IEP will be a critical component for his transitioning to kindergarten, as important as the academic part for sure. You may be eligible for some behavioral services in your community through your local mental health center that can help at home and at school. It sounds like you have a strong Child Development Team at your school and the once the evaluation is completed I'm sure you'll have a wealth of information! Coordinating efforts beteen outside services and school district personnel and sharing of information will also be a very critical component--everyone working together.

One day at a time...it is all going to work out...it is great that you are educating yourself and all of the ideas on here are great from the other dis boarders.

Sandy

 

[sjanus]

Here is a great book, link to it, Navigatiing the Social World by Jeannette McAfee, M.D., lots of great curricular ideas and user friendly--a must have and will be valuable throughout the years. It is for students with Asperger Disorder or High Functioning Autism. Check it out. Carol Gray's Social Stories are also great to help students prepare for transitions of all sorts.

http://nationalautismresources.com/navigating-the-social-world.html

Sandy