ARTICLE: The Overprotected Kid

[4luv2cdisney]

Isn't there a middle ground between helicopter parenting and letting them play in a junkyard? Sorry, those pictures don't look like a child's play area, they look like a junkyard.

Also, it seems most people here are commenting on leaving their children to roam free and unsupervised. This "park" is supervised. I don't see what the difference is if a parent is watching their own child play in the front yard while reading a magazine or from inside watching out the window.

Do the people pay to use this park?

When I was in college, I went to school in a not so great neighborhood of Philly, went to bars and frat parties in other parts of the city. Before that I was a suburbanite through and through. I had never set foot in Philly on my own, yet my roommates and I managed to navigate just fine. We didnt need the experience at 16 or whenever to allow us to figure it out once we hit college

Everyone should have a different age they feel is appropriate for their kid to be given certain freedoms. Only a parent knows what their kid is capable of, comfortable with, can be trusted to do, etc. I remember when the kids were little having repeated conversations with friends about what is the age you can leave your child home alone. One of the parents finally called DCFS and they said they would not put a number on it, because no two 12 year olds (or 10 yo, or 13 yo) are the same. It was up to the parents judgment, but basically, if nothing happened to your kid while home alone, it was an ok age. If something happened to your kid while home alone, it was not an ok age and be ready for the fallout. I believe they said you would easily be considered for charges of neglect until at least age 14 and up to 18 in some cases!

I don't even have the same guidelines for both of my children on this stuff. They are each different and my rules vary because of their personalities and abilities. I can make them up as I go along and change them as I see fit!

 

[already]

The neighbor girl is overprotected. She is eight, and whenever she is at my house to play, I have to walk her home. Her house is literally four feet from my home. I can't text or call her mom to let her know she's on her way. I have to physically walk her. We live on a cul de sac in a very safe neighborhood.

You are better than I am. If the neighbor mom wouldn't allow her child to walk 4 ft. next door, it would be her getting off her duff to come pick her child up. I would be calling that her daughter was ready to go home and she needed to come over and pick her up.

Her rules, her inconvenience.

 

[cassandrap83]

I let my girls (7&8) go freely up and down our street, and around the corner to the neighbor's house. They only check in with me if they want to go IN a neighbor's house. Our immediate neighbor is 10 and she goes to the library which is all the way down the street and around the block, but I won't let mine go with her. Not because I'm scared they will be abducted, but because I am almost certain they will be loud and annoying in the library when unsupervised. lol

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

Back to the article for a minute - is this really considered free range parenting if the children are constantly supervised while at this playground? Yes, they are allowed to play more creatively, but they are no less supervised than when a parent who walks to a regular park and sits on the bench with their kids. Is it different because it's not parents doing the supervising? And in this case, and it may have been for in able to write the article, the author was with her child!

I don't see it as less "helicopter" just because the playground changes.

 

[MrsPete]

Our experiences were very different. I was an elementary school student in the sixties and seventies. In kindergarten I walked to school with an older neighborhood kid. In third grade I took the bus but the bus stop was down the street and out of sight of home. We didn't have parents standing outside at the bus stop like today. Starting in fifth grade I walked to school around the corner and about five blocks down - again out of sight of home. In middle school sometimes we walked, sometimes we took the bus depending on the weather. The bus stop was at my fifth grade elementary school so again, five blocks away and around the corner. Starting about in the fourth grade, I could ride my bike around the neighborhood but had to head home when the street lights came on. Starting in middle school my friends and I would go to the river to fish or take the canoe to the lake totally unsupervised. In my circle, we had more freedom than most kids today. We did travel in packs which I think is safer than wandering around alone.

I was a country kid -- the school was too far away for us to walk, and bikes wouldn't have been safe on the roads, so I can see how that would be different from city kids. Since no other houses were near us, we stood out by the road alone to wait for the bus. It's possible that my mother watched me through the window occasionally, but not likely.

However, I can't relate to much of the rest of it either.

There is a happy medium somewhere. There is a reason why we are seeing an increased number of adults who can't function in the real world when their parents are too old handle their lives for them or are passed away.

Yes, a happy medium is the right answer -- a "sweet spot" that lies between over-protecting kids and allowing them to light fires. Yes, I'm hung up on the fire thing. I'm remembering once when one of our scouts tripped and fell into the fire. Several adults were within a few feet, including her father. Some things just can't be avoided, and kids aren't ready to handle that type of emergency.

As for adults who can't function in the real world, that's a tricky one. One of my siblings is . . . how to word this? Under-functioning? It's not like he can't buy food for himself, but he can't pay his bills, can't manage to keep a car, and will be in serious trouble when the day comes that he can't work at his manual labor job. He was raised by the same parents as the rest of our large family. How'd he turn out differently?

Do the people pay to use this park?

I wondered about that too.

 

[ICF]

The neighbor girl is overprotected. She is eight, and whenever she is at my house to play, I have to walk her home. Her house is literally four feet from my home. I can't text or call her mom to let her know she's on her way. I have to physically walk her. We live on a cul de sac in a very safe neighborhood.

That's sad

 

[Wishing on a star]

While I am not sure about creating 'dumps' for playgrounds, I think most of that article is spot on!!!

Especially when it comes to kids finding and creating their own parent free playspaces. I grew up in a fairly close neighborhood, but I can still remember the places, like the hollowed out area in some thick bushes, etc... that became hide-outs, forts, houses, etc!!! Even in that close of a neighborhood.

And, really, what kid could have much fun at today's 'safe' 'sterile' playgrounds???

I have a neighbor that I have mentioned here before. Her son is exactly my son's age. We could actually almost hold a conversation between my yard and theirs. My son never, ever, played with this kid. We just never really even saw him/them. He was/is one of those kids who couldn't play in his own front yard. It seemed he had to be inside, or in his back yard, where his mom could see him. Even as an older kid, early teen!

Thank goodness she is a bit better with her daughter, now middle elementary school age. Because she became such fast friends with the girl in the neighborhood, on the other side of them. But, you would still never see them out running around the neighborhood playing, riding bikes, checking out the area, getting to know neighbors, etc. Even today, we do not see this 16 year old teenage boy around the neighborhood unless he is out with his mother, the family is out 'walking' etc...

 

[aprilgail2]

. And, really, what kid could have much fun at today's 'safe' 'sterile' playgrounds??? .

I agree- we had some great parks, lots of things to climb on and poles to slide down on, slides etc- most have been ripped up and made so handicapped kids could use them too so they are basically not much fun for most kids now. I have nothing against parks for handicap kids but cant they make half the park that wY and the other leave with things kids actually have fun on? They should all hAve things they can each enjoy!

 

[Hannathy]

I agree- we had some great parks, lots of things to climb on and poles to slide down on, slides etc- most have been ripped up and made so handicapped kids could use them too so they are basically not much fun for most kids now. I have nothing against parks for handicap kids but cant they make half the park that wY and the other leave with things kids actually have fun on? They should all hAve things they can each enjoy!

This is what happened to our. What they didn't change to handicapped they changed to toddler type things. That park used to have easily 20 -35 kids every evening in the summer, now if there are 6 toddlers there with their parents its a busy day.

 

[LisaInNc]

I have a DD who is 13 I am over protective at times and I am not over protective. I have always monitored what she wore, what she watched and what she listened to. It's easing up a lot now. When she was little I was careful about that kind of stuff. When she was little say up to age 6 I always knew where she was. Then we moved to a new neighborhood, we set some firm boundaries and she came and went.

Where I am not over protective now is she gets the freedom of my neighborhood. I live in a small town and she can easily ride her bike to a neighborhood coffee shop for a hot chocolate. Everyone in there knows her. She can visit a local eatery where everyone in there knows her by name. While riding or walking she might see 4 or 5 people she knows. It's a nice little town but I don't think it would be different if we lived in a big city with public transportation. I don't want her riding her bike on a busy highway but she could easily navigate a bus if we had them here.

Last summer there was a local festival she walked with a friend and we ran into them a few times. We kind of live like that. I trust her and I know that she is safe in this town. Well, as safe as anyone can really be.

She has played outside so hard she said she got the wind knocked out of her but didn't want to stop playing. Her best friend was a little boy who was a madman and they played from morning until night with brief stops for food. In His backyard was a wooden barely safe swing set. I usually tried hard not to look too closely. They had more fun making up games with that thing. We were heartbroken when they moved.

I was willing to let her fly solo to Florida when she was 12 to visit her cousins but we could not get the dates worked out.

I personally think she is more capable than a lot of adults I know

Her Father....won't let her play in the front yard, is not allowed to walk the dog alone...you get it. She is starting to really HATE IT. We are divorced and do NOT agree on how much freedom she gets to have.

Lisa