How would you feel if this child decided to spit in your child's face? What if the your child got HIV from this interaction?
As a former Public Health Nurse and a current Infection Control Specialist, I have to point out that it is not possible to HIV/AIDS srom a spit in the face.
About the article though, I have read quite a bit about the situation and read quite a bit about the situation, since it's happening in my backyard, so to speak. I think it's very unfortunate that the whole thing got tossed into the public arena; it sounded like there was some room for compromise, but once it got to be public, all ability to cooperate with each other was off. It would have been an ideal situation to have an impartial observer/arbitrator. From waht I have read, both are probably guilty of some hyperbole. The situation can't be 100% the way either side has claimed (i.e. in the situation of urinating in the church, one of the people in favor of banning the child said that he urinates in the church in one article. In the same article, the family said that he does sometimes urinate in the church, but he is wearing adult incontinence products and nothing has ever leaked out.)
One of the problems I see in the future (and why I think the issue of institutionalization came up) is that a child with autism who is 18-20 has parents who are getting older. It may be possible to control a smaller child, but what do you do when the child is older and bigger than the adults. Some of the activities that were possible with a younger child are impossible once that same child has gotten older. There
do need to be safe and nuturing places for people with a variety of disabilities to go - right now, a lot end up in Nursing Homes that are not prepared to handle the behaviors or the realities of dealing with a young person who could get out of control and hurt other residents. There needs to be something better, that will keep people out in the community as much as possible, not warehouses, but homes.
Some of the 'problem' this family may be having might have to do with families who had access and comfortability with going places/being in the outside world that previous generations of families in similar situations did not have. But, if they don't have the tools to help them successfully navigate out in the big world, they will run into problems when their child's behavior (which is connected to his/her disability) 'bumps up' against someone else's ability to engage in that activity. Some of what people need has been mentioned in this thread already - people are 'reading ' their child and know when he/she is becoming too stressed by a situation and needs to be removed from it - not only because their behavior is annoying others, but because the situation is distressing for the person who has the disability. Behavior can often be communication - someone who has no words to express him/herself may use behavior to do it.
There are people who want their child with autism out in the community no matter what. I know someone who is caregiver for a young man with autism. He enjoys outings like eating in a restaurant - as long as it is fast food and he can get his favorites. He has gone with the caregiver for shopping trips, school plays/concerts and other outings on a regular basis and usually causes no problems (other than some not too loud noises and hand flapping). He needs to exercise on a stationary bike and is OK with it - at home, but his parents want him to do it in a local gym, like other people his age. His behavior is OK as long as no one comes near him (although the caregiver still has to stand by him in case he gets upset by anyone looking at him). But, if anyone comes close enough to grab, he will scream, grab and pinch them. The caregiver sees that as a sign that the activity is just too much for him. But the parents don't and say he has a right to be out in the community no matter what. Who is right?
Well, I have a feeling it is the caregiver who pretty constantly has bruises on her arms from where he pinches
her when he is upset.
. With sensory issues, we just keep trying things over and over, like restaurants, theme parks, church, etc, hoping each time makes it easier for her next time. We've seen a lot of improvement.
If my kids exhibited behavior that impacted anothers experiance, then I would have to make adjustments. When my oldest son was younger, I could only grocery shop for four items a day. That was the length of time I could be in the store before Ben would freak out and start throwing things at people. Heck, he had to ride in the shopping cart until he was twelve! My youngest does better socially, so he goes to more places with me. I think the level of social exposure just depends on the kid. 
