Argh mom vent

[mommy2allgirls]

So I am a mom of 5 girls ages 9, 8, 6, 4, and 1. My parents are very involved and love to spoil my kids. Well, since I started having kids my mother has made fun of the style of clothes I bought. Once my kids are old enough I also allow them to tell me what style they like and get them for them if we approve. Well, my mom tends to make fun of the clothes in front of my kids. She says she does it because she doesn't want them to be made fun of at school like she was and I was.

It's to the point where my 8 year who loves Gymboree dresses is afraid of grandma seeing her in them. I told her that she should never let anyone tell her what's right or wrong about her style and that all that matters is what she likes and thinks. My 9 year old is so brainwashed by my mom that she now only wants clothes from Justice or places like Ambercrombie. I'm generally ok with it but I also don't want her to be so focused on brands.

Well this weekend my 9 year old spent the night with my parents and my mom asked her if we got her backpack for school and my daughter said yes. Well she asked where it was from and she was so unhappy it was from Children's place that she placed an order at pottery barn and had my daughters name engraved so it can't be returned.

I've talked to my mom about this every year and how it effects the kids negatively and each time she says she will work on it but it never gets better. I'm just so darn frustrated and don't know what else I can do.

Sorry for the book but I just had to vent because I'm so upset and want to cool down before I talk to my mom about how this effects the girls once again

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[The Mystery Machine]

So I am a mom of 5 girls ages 9, 8, 6, 4, and 1. My parents are very involved and love to spoil my kids. Well, since I started having kids my mother has made fun of the style of clothes I bought. Once my kids are old enough I also allow them to tell me what style they like and get them for them if we approve. Well, my mom tends to make fun of the clothes in front of my kids. She says she does it because she doesn't want them to be made fun of at school like she was and I was.

It's to the point where my 8 year who loves Gymboree dresses is afraid of grandma seeing her in them. I told her that she should never let anyone tell her what's right or wrong about her style and that all that matters is what she likes and thinks. My 9 year old is so brainwashed by my mom that she now only wants clothes from Justice or places like Ambercrombie. I'm generally ok with it but I also don't want her to be so focused on brands.

Well this weekend my 9 year old spent the night with my parents and my mom asked her if we got her backpack for school and my daughter said yes. Well she asked where it was from and she was so unhappy it was from Children's place that she placed an order at pottery barn and had my daughters name engraved so it can't be returned.

I've talked to my mom about this every year and how it effects the kids negatively and each time she says she will work on it but it never gets better. I'm just so darn frustrated and don't know what else I can do.

Sorry for the book but I just had to vent because I'm so upset and want to cool down before I talk to my mom about how this effects the girls once again

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I have 2 dd's that are 22 and 16 now. They would have been horrified at having a backpack from Children's Place in 4th grade.

It is the "age", ads, commercials, etc. Stop blaming your mom for everything.

Granted your mom sounds like she could use a good slap in the mouth though.

 

[skatalite]

It doesn't sound like your mother is going to change her destructive influential habits.

Talk to her again, and good luck.

 

[Ceila]

So I am a mom of 5 girls ages 9, 8, 6, 4, and 1. My parents are very involved and love to spoil my kids. Well, since I started having kids my mother has made fun of the style of clothes I bought. Once my kids are old enough I also allow them to tell me what style they like and get them for them if we approve. Well, my mom tends to make fun of the clothes in front of my kids. She says she does it because she doesn't want them to be made fun of at school like she was and I was.

It's to the point where my 8 year who loves Gymboree dresses is afraid of grandma seeing her in them. I told her that she should never let anyone tell her what's right or wrong about her style and that all that matters is what she likes and thinks. My 9 year old is so brainwashed by my mom that she now only wants clothes from Justice or places like Ambercrombie. I'm generally ok with it but I also don't want her to be so focused on brands.

Well this weekend my 9 year old spent the night with my parents and my mom asked her if we got her backpack for school and my daughter said yes. Well she asked where it was from and she was so unhappy it was from Children's place that she placed an order at pottery barn and had my daughters name engraved so it can't be returned.

I've talked to my mom about this every year and how it effects the kids negatively and each time she says she will work on it but it never gets better. I'm just so darn frustrated and don't know what else I can do.

Sorry for the book but I just had to vent because I'm so upset and want to cool down before I talk to my mom about how this effects the girls once again

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I'm sorry, but you've actually allowed your mother to make fun of your children's clothing in front of them for years without putting a stop to it? And she doesn't want others doing that to them, but sees no problem with doing it herself?? Wow.

If that had happened to my kids, it would have happened once. Once. And then the offending grandparent would have been told that if it ever happened again, we would leave and not come back. And we would have followed through with it.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I agree with the PP. My DD is 9 going into 4th grade and hasn't wanted to step foot in the children's place for a couple years now. She would be mortified if I bought her a backpack there.
Your mom may be a little over the top but it sounds like she's looking out for your Dd so she doesn't have to deal with the teasing and heartbreak you and she dealt with.

 

[mommy2allgirls]

I have 2 dd's that are 22 and 16 now. They would have been horrified at having a backpack from Children's Place in 4th grade.

It is the "age", ads, commercials, etc. Stop blaming your mom for everything.

Granted your mom sounds like she could use a good slap in the mouth though.

My daughter picked out the bag not me. She looked at several places and that is the one she picked. I told her she could get one from wherever she wanted.

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[mommy2allgirls]

I'm sorry, but you've actually allowed your mother to make fun of your children's clothing in front of them for years without putting a stop to it? And she doesn't want others doing that to them, but sees no problem with doing it herself?? Wow.

If that had happened to my kids, it would have happened once. Once. And then the offending grandparent would have been told that if it ever happened again, we would leave and not come back. And we would have followed through with it.

I have talked to her and corrected her and she has apologized each time to my children. Should I just not let her have contact with my children?

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[mommy2allgirls]

I agree with the PP. My DD is 9 going into 4th grade and hasn't wanted to step foot in the children's place for a couple years now. She would be mortified if I bought her a backpack there.
Your mom may be a little over the top but it sounds like she's looking out for your Dd so she doesn't have to deal with the teasing and heartbreak you and she dealt with.

I don't buy clothes or anything from the Children's place for my 9 year old I was looking for my 1 year old and she saw the bag and wanted it. So I'm not sure how she would mortified if she is the one who picked it out. My daughter was all excited about it and couldn't wait to show her best friend

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[The Mystery Machine]

My daughter picked out the bag not me. She looked at several places and that is the one she picked. I told her she could get one from wherever she wanted.

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Welcome to girls growing up. I feel sorry for your oldest. She is really going to take a lot of the heat for the younger ones.

 

[Ceila]

I have talked to her and corrected her and she has apologized each time to my children. Should I just not let her have contact with my children?

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If someone repeatedly hurt my kids' feelings, then yes, I would stop contact. How could I do any differently?

 

[usd2bmd]

I'm sorry, but you've actually allowed your mother to make fun of your children's clothing in front of them for years without putting a stop to it? And she doesn't want others doing that to them, but sees no problem with doing it herself?? Wow.

If that had happened to my kids, it would have happened once. Once. And then the offending grandparent would have been told that if it ever happened again, we would leave and not come back. And we would have followed through with it.

Yes this....My daughter wears WHAT SHE WANTS as long as we deem it appropriate. But there is no way I would allow anyone to make fun of her in front of her under the guise of developing a thick skin.

You say you have talked to her before but it hasn't done any good...this time I wouldn't wait until i calmed down to speak to her.

If your daughter likes the back pack from Children's place then she should use it. Your mom can buy one from Pottery barn if she wants to waste her money. You never asked her to do it.

My daughter walks by Children's Place in the mall and says how she remembers going in there to buy her clothes and how she loved it. Good luck with your mom...But you have to be firm about what you will and will not allow her to do.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

My daughter picked out the bag not me. She looked at several places and that is the one she picked. I told her she could get one from wherever she wanted.

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The fact that the backpack was from Children's Place and she is 9 is beside the point. The point is her mom shouldn't be making fun of her kids clothes.

 

[Hrhpd]

So I am a mom of 5 girls ages 9, 8, 6, 4, and 1. My parents are very involved and love to spoil my kids. Well, since I started having kids my mother has made fun of the style of clothes I bought. Once my kids are old enough I also allow them to tell me what style they like and get them for them if we approve. Well, my mom tends to make fun of the clothes in front of my kids. She says she does it because she doesn't want them to be made fun of at school like she was and I was.

It's to the point where my 8 year who loves Gymboree dresses is afraid of grandma seeing her in them. I told her that she should never let anyone tell her what's right or wrong about her style and that all that matters is what she likes and thinks. My 9 year old is so brainwashed by my mom that she now only wants clothes from Justice or places like Ambercrombie. I'm generally ok with it but I also don't want her to be so focused on brands.

Well this weekend my 9 year old spent the night with my parents and my mom asked her if we got her backpack for school and my daughter said yes. Well she asked where it was from and she was so unhappy it was from Children's place that she placed an order at pottery barn and had my daughters name engraved so it can't be returned.

I've talked to my mom about this every year and how it effects the kids negatively and each time she says she will work on it but it never gets better. I'm just so darn frustrated and don't know what else I can do.

Sorry for the book but I just had to vent because I'm so upset and want to cool down before I talk to my mom about how this effects the girls once again

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

Wanting to wear Gymboree sounds pretty brand focused to me.

All of my kids were clothed in Gymboree from the day they were born. However, we stopped at around 5 or 6. You can not be brand focused but also not make your kids the butt of teasing by dressing them in younger clothes.

It sounds like you and your mom are at opposite ends of the pendulum.

Your Mom is at one end, trying to be uber trendy, while you are at completely the opposite end, doing everything you can NOT to be trendy.

You both need to find middle ground.

Since you seem to welcome you mother in the children's lives for the most part, you two need to sit down and both bend a bit in the clothing styles. And lay down the law that she is not to comment in front of the children.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Wanting to wear Gymboree sounds pretty brand focused to me.

All of my kids were clothed in Gymboree from the day they were born. However, we stopped at around 5 or 6. You can not be brand focused but also not make your kids the butt of teasing by dressing them in younger clothes.

It sounds like you and your mom are at opposite ends of the pendulum.

Your Mom is at one end, trying to be uber trendy, while you are at completely the opposite end, doing everything you can NOT to be trendy.

You both need to find middle ground.

Since you seem to welcome you mother in the children's lives for the most part, you two need to sit down and both bend a bit in the clothing styles.

Darn logic!

 

[Poohforyou]

I have talked to her and corrected her and she has apologized each time to my children. Should I just not let her have contact with my children?

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Apologizing for the same thing over and over doesn't get your mother or you off the hook. Tell your mother to knock it off and do it in front of your children.

For what it's worth my now almost hs freshman wore children's place stuff in 4th grade. A lot of what they sell is very similar to old navy.

 

[mommy2allgirls]

Wanting to wear Gymboree sounds pretty brand focused to me.

All of my kids were clothed in Gymboree from the day they were born. However, we stopped at around 5 or 6. You can not be brand focused but also not make your kids the butt of teasing by dressing them in younger clothes.

It sounds like you and your mom are at opposite ends of the pendulum.

Your Mom is at one end, trying to be uber trendy, while you are at completely the opposite end, doing everything you can NOT to be trendy.

You both need to find middle ground.

Since you seem to welcome you mother in the children's lives for the most part, you two need to sit down and both bend a bit in the clothing styles. And lay down the law that she is not to comment in front of the children.

I don't mind being trendy. My kids wear justice and other popular brands. We buy it and I have no problem with it. My problem is my mom has put it in my oldest daughters head that her world would end of she could no longer wear those brands.

I also don't make my 8 year old want gymboree she likes to be fancy and wear dresses. She has all sorts of brands but likes the twirl of the gymboree dresses so most of her clothes are from there. Once my kids are about 4 we ask them what they want and as long as it doesn't show skin at an unreasonable amount and we can afford it then they get it. My 6 year old wears a lot of brands and has a variety of styles she likes and my 4 year old has to wear something with Minnie Mouse everyday.

I do admit I need a thicker skin and talk to my mom sternly and let her know that if this keeps up she won't see the kids. I just haven't threatened taking them away because they lover her and my dad.

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ETA: fixed a mistake

 

[mommy2allgirls]

Thank you for the different thoughts and opinions i will use them when talking to my mom

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[sbtrfly74]

I never did Gymboree for my kids but were big Childrens place fans... last year my DD9 was getting teased in school not for where her clothes were from but what was on them.... Tinker bell!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls are mean and I tried really hard, even bought me some clothes with TB on them and told her over and over she likes whatever she wants to. Back to the CP discussion I thought I was over them too this year but still bought shorts size 14 this year due to massive discount coupons I had... noone knows where shorts are from. But I will be looking into Ambercrombie this year, but I did get this past year 4th grade with CP and my DD now 10 proudly wore a new tinkerbell and hello kitty shirt from there and noone knows where its from.

I have the opposite problem with my mom, she buys my DD10 babyish clothing, babydoll with leggings I refuse and make her take back and the ones that come with the baby doll matching outfit from khol's have to go too. But.... she's still the baby, not! This is the last year we can still call her the baby (youngest out of 5 grandchildren, oldest 22)

 

[hereyago]

I am a big believer in setting boundaries, even for family. People who do the same thing over and over again even saying sorry, really doesn't mean it.

She seems to have problems with her filter, turn the tables and see how she reacts. Also, I would fully allow my kid to tell granny she is being rude ie"granny if you can't say anything nice...... respect goes both ways.

 

[MSLRAC]

The fact that the backpack was from Children's Place and she is 9 is beside the point. The point is her mom shouldn't be making fun of her kids clothes.

Exactly! OP, you need to set a firm limit with your mom and stop this behavior right now. If that means limiting or stopping contact until your mom gets that it is unacceptable for an adult to pick on a child then so be it. Kids are so critical of one another that they certainly do not need a grandma giving them a hard time about their wardrobe.