Reading some of these responses, I can't take a side.
Of course marriages fail. Of course it's impossible to predict the future. It's also impossible to read people's minds.
Should we always hedge our bets and prepare for the worst...?
Here's the thing, my
husband is a "worst case scenario" kind of guy. He's a planner. He makes spreadsheets of our budget, going five years out ahead, or more. He goes around saying things like, "Belt AND suspenders!" and, "Prepare for the worst, be pleasantly surprised when it turns out best."
So, yes, being a househusband would never have been in the cards for him. It's simply not in his personality. He would feel isolated, trapped, bored and anxious about the future, if he was ever to try keeping house while I worked to support us both. He definitely would not have enjoyed raising the kids, despite loving them both very much.
Me? I'm very much his opposite. I say things like, "Don't borrow trouble," and "Ok, this is bad. How can we fix this?" Before we got together, I was living from paycheck to paycheck, and content as could be. When he took me to the store to pick out an engagement ring, I chose a cheap birthstone ring instead (and I'm still wearing it). When I showed it to my mother (who is another planner-type), her reaction was, "But, what are you going to pawn when he leaves you with three kids!?"
I told her what I've told him, a million times, "I'll worry about it when it happens."
So, yes, I stayed home with my kids, and I'm still at home now. I've barely ever held a "real" job in my life. I could absolutely end up in dire straits if my husband left me, but, you know what? I'm not worried. It's not in my character. I have enjoyed the most amazingly fantastic, happy, joyful 25 years, and I wouldn't give any of it away for all the "security" in the world.
This life suits me perfectly. It suits my husband, too. But we could not trade roles. What's right for me, would not be right for him.
We shouldn't judge people as being stupid or foolish or unwise, just because they take what seems to us to be a risky path through life. And if we DO take that path, we shouldn't be judging people who've chosen to be more cautious. There's no right or wrong here. It's just a matter of personality. I'm darn lucky my husband is the person he is, and he says he's darn lucky to have me in his life.
As for what I tell people... I tell them all sorts of things. I was a home schooler. A housewife. For awhile, when I was writing a novel, I told them I was a writer. Sometimes I make and sell crafts. These days I'm tutoring a handful of kids in reading, science and math, so that's what I tell people. There's so much I'm interested in, and so much to talk about, that I can't actually think of any times when people have overtly looked down on me for not having proper paid employment.
