Are we crazy...thinking of baby #4?

[Mickey Fliers]

We currently have 3 beautiful little boys, 8 1/2, 7 and almost 3. We are seriously considering having another child (the lure of the little girl ).

I feel like I am having a constant battle between my emotions and my logic. My heart tells me that I want another child, but my head says "are you nuts". The reasons against having a baby are so very minor and trivial that they are almost not worth mentioning, ie: always have to rent a large car on vacation (We rarely rent a car!), always have to get two rooms at a hotel (we own DVC!), have to "start" over (I am already doing the mom thing, might as well add one more!), that much more time before I go back to work (who am I kidding, I never planned on going back to work ), etc.

So, for those of you with larger families, do you have any advice? My DH is going on a 6 month deployment starting at the end of November. Maybe I should just throw caution to the wind (so to speak) for the next few months and see what God has in store for us.

help, drowning in my indecisiveness...

 

[mommiepoppins]

you are not Crazy. I have 4 wonderfull dd. I always wanted 4 dd :thumbsup. Having 4 children evens it out. I love having my 4. I say go for it!!!!!!!

 

[belle&beast]

We had planned on having 4, but have decided to stop at 2 due to finances and horrible pregnancies and c-sections. Anyway, DH comes from a family of 4 kids- 3 older boys and that baby girl- and as adults we have so much fun together! The stories they tell are hysterical and I know he wouldn't change it for the world. It is a little sad to me that my kids will only have each other and not a large family, but realistically I would have to work full time and could be hospitalized for a vast majority of another pregnancy, so it really is the right choice for us. I say go for it! It sounds like you really want to, but keep in mind that you could have another boy!

 

[disneymomto5]

As a mother to 5 wonderful children, I always say "go for it", but my family thinks I'm nuts anyway. I have 4 sons and 1 daughter, and I wouldn't trade any of them. I always say one more doesn't matter! Good luck in your decision.

 

[ptmmg]

I had my 1st 2 kids a girl and a boy they are 2 1/2 years apart. everybody told me that I had the perfect family. That I would be crazy to have any more. Well I had that feeling that somebody was missing. Thinking that feeling would go away I let years pass. They feeling got more intense. And yes of course that biological clock was ticking. So when oldest dd was 12 and ds 9 I had our 3rd. People thought I was crazy with such a big age gap. Well people really thought I was CRAZY when I got pg with #4 I felt that Gracie #3 would be like an only child so we went for #4 and now we have Joey!!
I can't imagine my life any other way I feel complete now and after I had Joey I knew we were done!

don't get me wrong it is very hectic especially since they are all doing different
things. I have 1 in High school, middle school, preschool and a toddler.

good luck with your decision and remember it's your decision. You can't listen to others because everybody will have a different opinion.
Listen to your heart!

 

[Disney4Drew]

I say go for it!! Although I have no experience with a large family as DS is an only and will stay that way!! I think women "feel" when they are done having children. Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[wrldpossibility]

I don't think you're crazy! Like you mentioned, the reasons not to don't really add up to anything sigificant. I especially agree with your reasoning that you're already "doing the mom thing". It's true...what's one more?! I have three, and we feel done for sure. DH and I just couldn't imagine "starting all over" again. But if you have a nagging (persistant) feeling that you're not done, and your DH is on board, go for it!

My only worry...you mentioned a girl. Please don't have another just in hopes for a girl. That seems like a very bad idea (and a negative message to your sons). If it's just something that would be an "added bonus", great!

 

[RumpleMom]

Whatever you and your husband decide together is right for you.

You might be blessed with #4 or not, sometimes it isn't our decision.

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

All hands on deck here! I think the more the better (well, within reason )! Give yourself another joy and your children another little sibling (This is coming from the only child jealous of the fact that all my friends, etc. have siblings so give yours the chance to really run away with it.) Good luck in making your decision! Just remember though, hindsight can be a b---h! (That's not meant to be a 'oh I wish I never had this kid' kind of thing, more of a 'did I or didn't I make the right choice' thing...but let it be taken as it will )

 

[MickeyHereWeCome!]

I went through the exact same thing before I had #4. I had always wanted four kids (dh had to commit to 'at least' three). My oldest is autistic, and makes life very challenging (to say the least). I was nearing that 3-5 mark, and knew I didn't have long to make my decision about whether or not I was done. I really did struggle with the decision. I knew that my life was crazy enough with only 3. But I also knew that I would have loved to have another, and might regret the decision not to have another. I kind of went into it letting the "powers that be" make my decision for me. If I got pg, then it was meant to be. If not, it wasn't. Since I got pg right away, I guess it was meant to be.

Well, #4 just turned 1 at the end of July. I actually never thought I'd get to the point of being happy to be "done", but I really am satisfied and ready to move past all this baby stuff. I've packed up the bottles and have sold most of my little baby stuff on e-bay (that was harder than I imagined).

I am relieved that I made the decision to try for my fourth. He is such a sweetheart. I love that my older two are old enough to really enjoy their youngest brother, and help in many ways. Life really hasn't been too much more difficult. By the time you have three, you are already used to being pulled in many different directions. You are already used to having to thoroughly plan every outing. You already know about juggling time. Sure, there were moments, especially because my youngest 2 are so young, but overall it was not a huge change to go from 3 to 4. Having four is wonderful. Besides, you need a fourth so that you have a kid holding onto each hand when you and dh take them out!!! We do get a lot of stares when we got out. People are fascinated that we have four.

So, if you're even thinking about it, it probably means you really want it. Go for it!!! You'll never regret having that fourth baby to love, but you might regret the decision not to.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[jennifer293]

Crazy for you..NO...Crazy for me..YES!! I am all about other people having babies..GO FOR IT!!! I have 2 DD's and I knew that 2 was enough for us and I got my tubes tied. Some people are made for huge families and do an awesome job at it. So if you know in your heart that this is what you want and your DH wants one more as well then GO FOR IT!!!

 

[pweyl36]

My sister has 4 childern 11-3,her husband is an officer in the navy .right
now he is over seas for 6months. She lives in virginia about 5hrs form family
and she does manage with out her husband.So if both you and your husband agree,then go for it.

 

[mrsmom]

I have four dd20 , ds 14,dd12,ds8 I say go for it!!!

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement. I definately feel much better that I am not alone out there. And, for sure, a little girl would just be an added bonus, I would be perfectly happy with another pirate . Although, coming up with another boy name would be difficult . I just know in my heart that I haven't brought my last baby to Disney yet.

Wish us luck!

 

[zookeeper]

My problem is I love being pregnant. There's nothing like feeling those baby kicks. I miss that! We have 5 kids DS9, DS8, DD6, DS4, DS20 months and it is busy, busy, busy, but I truly believe it's all relative (no pun intended). Whatever number of children you have it's hard. When you have 1 baby it seems so hard (and it is), but then you have a 2nd and you think "What was I complaining about with only 1?" and then you have a 3rd at which point having only 2 seems like it was so much easier. I'm sure you would adjust easily to another little one.

I have to say, though, that I always hear everyone say "You'll know in your heart when you're done having kids". I always worry when I hear this because I never feel like I'm "done". Oh, I get tired and cranky and sometimes wish they'd hurry up through certain stages, but I think if I had to decide today I'd probably choose to have more.

Best of luck in your decision. I truly believe that if it's meant to be it will be.

 

[Becky2005]

I just know in my heart that I haven't brought my last baby to Disney yet.

Wish us luck!

Good Luck and I think the above says it all.

 

[mikymouse]

I know exactly what you mean, just this last summer we thought now or never and put our faith in God to bring us blessings if it was meant to be. Bingo, our little blessing is due in Febuary next year. This is definately a decision of the heart not the head but I think you just know if someone is missing from your family. The kids (DS6 and DD4) are absolutely thrilled and are already preparing for the arrival of the baby... too cute!

It is funny how I am still thinking about how if we going to accomplish my DD kindergarten trip to Disney with an infant!! It will make it more complicated... needing strollers etc.. but I have heard that child swap is like an instant fast pass... plus the baby will be free!

IMHO...another child is a decision you will never regret in the long run.

 

[mama4]

Good luck to you with whatever you decide - We just had our 4th, a little girl after having three sons. Although Gracie was a "surprise", I now know she was truly meant to be here. The whole family, even my 2 1/2 yo ds, treats her like a little princess. I never realized how much my boys would enjoy having a little sister. I like the way MickeyHereWeCome! put it......"You'll never regret having that fourth baby to love, but you might regret the decision not to."

 

[mom23boys]

I also have three boys (12, 7 and 4). After my second I felt our family was not complete. I felt after the third that is was complete. We are very happy with three boys (a girl would have been nice though ).

I say listen to your heart. If you do not think your family is complete then go for it. We just knew after three we were done.

 

[mom23boys]

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