Are we crazy...thinking of baby #4?

[wrldpossibility]

I also have three boys (12, 7 and 4). After my second I felt our family was not complete. I felt after the third that is was complete. We are very happy with three boys (a girl would have been nice though ).

I say listen to your heart. If you do not think your family is complete then go for it. We just knew after three we were done.

Mom23boys, I agree 100 percent! I never felt I needed a girl to make our family complete. I think it's true that a woman knows when her family is complete. After we had two, I tried to convince myself that we were done (they were getting easier, we didn't want to "start over"). I went back to school and started focusing on a new career...but when we found out #3 was on the way, I was so happy. I had never really felt done. Strangely, I now feel completely done. So I guess for us, the magic number is 3.

 

[DznyLvr2005]

We currently have 3 beautiful little boys, 8 1/2, 7 and almost 3. We are seriously considering having another child (the lure of the little girl ).

I feel like I am having a constant battle between my emotions and my logic. My heart tells me that I want another child, but my head says "are you nuts". The reasons against having a baby are so very minor and trivial that they are almost not worth mentioning, ie: always have to rent a large car on vacation (We rarely rent a car!), always have to get two rooms at a hotel (we own DVC!), have to "start" over (I am already doing the mom thing, might as well add one more!), that much more time before I go back to work (who am I kidding, I never planned on going back to work ), etc.

So, for those of you with larger families, do you have any advice? My DH is going on a 6 month deployment starting at the end of November. Maybe I should just throw caution to the wind (so to speak) for the next few months and see what God has in store for us.

help, drowning in my indecisiveness...

If you can afford it, then go for it.

 

[SilverCeladon]

You know, I have 2 children an almost 3 year old boy and a 9 month old girl. I currently don't want anymore children but maybe in about a year I might want to do it again. It's like you said "I'm already doing the mom thing!" I just see another son in my future and I feel like I need to bring him here! (I'm a dork, I know!) If this is what you and your husband want go for it! If we all waited to be financially stable or some other excuse the world would become extinct!

 

[Marie17]

As a mother to 5 wonderful children, I always say "go for it", but my family thinks I'm nuts anyway. I have 4 sons and 1 daughter, and I wouldn't trade any of them. I always say one more doesn't matter! Good luck in your decision.

You're just like me. Mommy to 5 - 4 boys & a princess. My baby is only 9 months old, but I just started to feel this week that I could handle another one - my parents would really think I went overboard. If I can lose the extra baby weight in the next few months ....


DS 16 DD 12 DS 4 DS 2 DS 9months

 

[DznyLvr2005]

If we all waited to be financially stable or some other excuse the world would become extinct!

It depends on the situation.... me and the DH have great jobs (DH is a Cop and I'm office manager), but we'd NEVER be able to afford 4 kids, especially living in staten island, we barely have money to go food shopping lol (everyone from the 5 boroughs should know what I mean!!!
I suppose if somehow I got pregnant and had quadruplets , we'd have to manage, probably move to a studio apartment, or with my parents! , but it definately wouldn't be something we'd plan (Unless we win the lottery lol)
Everyone has different situations.. Just giving my own.

 

[MomofCKJ]

I have 3 and that is good for us however I have always believed that if you still have the inking for more, you should go for it. I think that once you are done, you know it. I know for me after 2 I still had that ache for more. After #3, poof it was gone! I can hold newborns now and not have baby lust, I am just happy to hold them and hand them back! For me that chapter is done and I feel it. But if you still feel that baby desire and your DH is in agreement too, I would act on it!

Allyson

 

[Donald - my hero]

We so wanted to have a large-ish family. About 4 sounded right to us. But then we found out my body does not like being preggers (aside from no PMS) Morning sickness that last from day one till delivery day.HUGE weight gain
How did that happen when most food came back up? Bed rest both times. Eldest was 2 weeks early and weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs (major ouch) Daughter was 3 weeks early and was close to 8 lbs -- we grow them big at least. Doctor looked at hubby as he was finishing up with me and told him "snip yourself or next certificate I will sign is Jacqueline's death" Talk about a wake up call eh?
Well not a big family but I guess it is the family God wanted us to have. Kids are close in age, still best of friends (20 & 18) Even though I get mournful when i see a newborn I know our family is complete. We had then young so now we can enjoy ourselves and wait for grandbabies to make the numbers grow!

 

[katyjeka]

Your message really caught my eye. We have 3 DD's and are now considering number 4. (Although, we are not hoping for a boy, we would be just as happy with all girls)We have a ton of nephews that we love to death, but after 3 girls, we feel we have them somewhat figured out. I too stay home, and have no intention of going back anytime soon. I love being a mother and wife, more than anything in the world. My only concern is time. I feel as if I have so little time to give my youngest, that I worry about another. I feel for you and can give little advice, other than go with your heart. We'll be at WDW in Dec. for 10 nights, may be a great time to try!!! Good Luck, Janice

 

[Desnik]

I went through the same feelings when trying to decide on having a 3rd! DD is 8, DS is 3. But in my heart I just knew I wanted more. I am now pregnant with #3!!! DH would want 1 more, we'll see! I really would love a big family and am lucky enough to be a SAHM. My advice to you would be go for it!! My only worry for you would be that you are going to be home alone with 4 kids for extended amounts of time! If you can handle that then do it!
Good luck!!!

 

[Plantlady]

We have three boys (9,7 ,4) all were delivered via c-section, so my doctor recommended having my tubes tied. He stated that it would not be safe for me to have another.

That being said, I love my boys to pieces, and yes, I would love to have more children. We had our boys very young, and after they are grown, if I still have that desire to have a bigger family, I plan on looking into adoption through the foster care system. I figure I will be a more experienced mom, and have more patience to deal with what is presented to me.

I agree with a previous poster, that you will never look back and regret having that fourth baby. If you're thinking it's the right thing to do, then go for it.

 

[shaylahc1]

We had a little boy after having 3 girls We read the book "How to choose the sex of your baby" and followed the instructions for a boy. It worked. Heard about the book from another friend who also successfully conceived a boy after 3 girls using the same method.

That being said....4 kids is expensive!!! Feeding, clothing, and providing medical care for 4 children is a challenge. Traveling and car shopping will never be the same And someone who once said that each child adds an exponential amount of work to the family was right If you think having 3 kids is a challenge, having 4 is even more so!!! It takes DH and I working together to make it through the days. I am fortunate enough to have a DH who telecommutes, otherwise I have no idea how I'd shower or eat every day

ETA that as the mother of a special needs child, you should always consider whether or not you would be up to the challenge if your child was disabled. It is something ALL parents should think about before TTC.

 

[minkydog]

I have never heard a mother seriously say," I shoulda stopped after the last one." Everyone I've even known who had that "one more baby" was glad they did. Be sure you pick out a boy's name just in case
cathy--comes from a family of 5 kids, now there's lots of Aunties

 

[juligrl]

No you're not crazy! I would have a dozen if I could! Maybe I'm the crazy one!

 

[disneyxxpanda]

My mom had 5 kids.

DD14, (me)DD11, DD8, DS6, DS3

 

[PA Princess]

We have 4 children...ds11, ds10, dd6, and dd1. We had trouble conceiving and adopted ds11...3 months later I was pregnant with ds10 The boys are 1 year and 1 day apart. I knew I wanted another baby after the boys (thinking a girl would be nice, but open to anything), and we started trying to conceive about a year after the birth. With the help of fertility meds, we had dd6 - we were thrilled!

I really thought we were finished, but Dh said he wanted one more. We had always planned on having a big family (4 or 5), but we had no idea that having babies would be an issue for us. I still had baby lust and pregnancy envy; but after years of fertility issues, I thought that was normal. I was never regular in my monthly cycle, so I was on the pill to be regular more than to stop pregnancy.

Well, somehow, some way, I found myself pregnant at 35 with baby #4 - talk about shocked! It took me the entire pregnancy to fully come to grips with the fact that we were having a baby!

DD1 is a pure delight, and I truly cannot imagine our family without her...nor would I want to! And no more baby lust or pregnancy envy - we are done and I know without a doubt. Our home, hearts, and days are full...of blessing and joys and laughter!

Good luck with your decision on whether to have baby #4!

 

[checkwriter]

We have five, and love them all.

That said, if you were interested in a long term rental . . . . we're listening.

 

[emh1129]

I think four sounds wonderful, but I've always wanted a big family!
I'm in that baby lust stage now.. I miss being pregnant. I had such a great VBAC birth with my second baby that I'm even looking forward to the whole birth process again (no, I'm NOT crazy ) and the sweet newborn nursing..
We decided to TTC in about a year, but it seems so far away!

 

[The Disney Bunch]

We would have loved a 4th child but we took so long to think about it, the time has passed. We still talk about it though. I wish I had just 'slipped'.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I only have 3 kids ( 2 DSs and 1 DD) so I'm not speaking from experience, but I've been told by friends that if you have 3 your house will never be clean anyhow so you might as well have another. Plus, there is no Middle child to be left out. We have found just with our 3 that a minivan is the best vehicle on the road for our family. It easily fits 6 with room to spare.

I can completely understand your wanting a little girl. After having 2 boys, I couldn't have been happier to have my daughter.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

WOW! I give credit to all of you with big families...I don't know how people have the time or energy for more than 1!!!