Boombaur,
First, I want to say that, as long as you have no children, and your wife is young and healthy, I would not think that she could be awarded alimony. And, you have no child, so child support is not possible either.
I really feel for you!
While I see what RadioNate is saying! Much of it could possibly be true. Did you post that your wife would frequently respond with something to the effect of, "So, what, do you want a divorce...." That is major! that is definate sabatage.
However, I am not so sure that this means that you should doom yourself to a life of this kind of unhappiness.
I am sure that your wife has issues. And, I see some immaturity on both sides. However, I think that you have the right to demand that your wife acknowledge her pattern of inappropriate behavior, and to confront her issues. If she does not do this, then things will never improve!!! And, very obviously, she is not going to simply do this all on he own. She is going to live downstairs from Dear Mommie, and continue to treat you, and others this way, for years to come.
You must recognize how your own behavior, attitudes, and issues, are feeding the whole situation. It sounds like a lot of immaturity and co-related issues going on. Like the independance-vs-clinginess. Like the fact that she expects you to be more like an adult-parent-caregiver than a husband in a healthy and equal relationship. Like the fact that you both seem to be more like bickering children.
How you respond to this type of thing is very very important!!!
I know that you are hung up on the apology thing. But, really, you need to get past that, and look forward. Harder said than done, I know!!! But, I am thinking that how you responded to your wifes behavior really made it far less likely that you would ever receive an apology. If you did shoot back an equally immature and hurtful email. Then, apology, forget it. You effectively insured that "Game On".
Also, looking for an apology is looking backwards. What you should do is to back off on these petty arguments. And, just let her dig herself into her own hole. If she says, "Now I will have to just return all of your Christmas presents..." Just give her words right back to her, as in "Do whatever you need to do..." Make her take 'ownership' of her own behavior. Do not provide a negative and immature retort.
I would give up looking for the apology, and I would be looking for her to take steps to address her issues, and your issues as a married couple. That is the ONLY thing that will really make any difference.
PS: I easily apologize... But for some people, my DH for one, that is just not in their constitution. For some, the three little words "I am sorry" are harder than than the three words "I love you'.
You don't want to be strung along, spinelessly, by apologies. You want the situation to improve. ASAP.
I think that you are correct in questioning your marriage. It is possible that this will continue, and even get worse. And, next thing you know, you will have matters complicated by a child of your own. Now is the time to do some real soul searching and to take action.
From what you have posted, you will either have to muster some strength and maturity to bring about some real and positive change. Or, nothing will change.
