Are Disney weddings forbidden for Catholics to attend??

[hope1826]

Hi All,

I'm having a weird guest/invitation issue. Here is the background info...
My DF is Roman Catholic (not really active).
I was raised protestant (pentecostal). I used to be a Sunday School teacher, then realized that I did not agree with what I had taught dozens of children. I've researched many religions and come to the conclusion that religion is not for me, but God is.) I don't want to offend anyone. I am very spiritual, but I am anti-religion. I do believe in and love God.

So obviously our Disney wedding is NOT an acceptable Roman Catholic wedding. And we are not having an RC wedding blessing or anything like it at home. The wedding at Disney is an acceptable protestant wedding. So all of my guests are coming.

The problem is that we are receiving A LOT of declined RSVP's from my DF's active Roman Catholic friends and families and none of them are giving us any explanation.

When we first got engaged, we told them the date, and they said they would definitely be at our wedding. I think they assumed it would be in a Catholic church. And now that they realize it is at Disney (um... I guess... satan's playground ) they are all declining the invitation.

I am trying to make excuses for them, but nothing makes sense except for religion. None of them live in NJ, so they were all going to have to fly and stay in hotels regardless of the weddings location. One couple lives an hour from Disney. They all said they were free on our wedding day.

Is there a religious reason that they cannot come to our wedding? Is Disney unholy??? I'm trying to find a reason for them all to have said they were coming and now all of a sudden changed their minds without telling us why. This is 7 of DF's 17 guests. So almost half of his guests aren't coming. And 2 months 3 weeks before the wedding we are going to invite more people, but they may actually be busy since they were never sent save-the-dates.

Can anyone give me some insight?

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Disney is NOT unholy. FHs father was a brother/priest and is now married. They are VERY religious, and his sister is a nun!!! They are all comming...

Talk to them! I think thats crazy if that is the reason!!

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

I do recall reading somewhere that Disney weddings is NOT accepted as a religious ceremony for some religions...which is sad.

I remember thinking about this cause DHs family is catholic & they are pretty serious about it, but they never disowned or gave DH a hard time about it

I hope thats not why so many guests are declining...can DF kinda see if he can find out "thru the grapvine" if thats the issue??

Im sorry this is happening...just remember...this wedding is about you & DF & what you two want

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

this is copied right off the DFTW site

Can I have a Catholic ceremony and be married by a priest?
Although Disney's Wedding Pavilion is non-denominational, the official Orlando Catholic Diocese position is that no wedding ceremonies will be recognized outside the Catholic Church. We encourage you to speak with your personal clergy about your situation.

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

Wow, I'm so sorry. I mean, even if they don't agree - can't they just come and appreciate the union of two people? I respect and understand religion (I'm Protestant myself) but I don't think God would condemn people for getting married somewhere other than a church. Doesn't the union of marriage mean anything??

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

I am very religious by the way. I work in a cath school. FH works for The Diocese. And to be honest, realizing how corrupt they are becomming finialized my decision to get married in disney. The fact that people have a baby before marriage and can then be wed in the catholic church and be accepted...but yet people who get married outside of the church arent...makes me upset

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

I wasn't a disney bride but I did have a civil wedding and my understanding is it's all civil/non-religious weddings. I married in a castle (I'm in the UK) and i chose it because we had a baby already and my husbands Catholic faith didn't want to see us married in church if she was part of the bridal party so we decided on a civil service, however it meant out of dh's family only his mother, sisters and paternal family attended- NONE of his mothers family (aside from his mom and sisters) came and his mother is one of eleven!!!! I personally found it really offish of them as we had guests from other faiths (muslim, sihk and jehovahs witness) and none of them made issue- my one BIL sat outside for the ceremony as he is JW but he didn't snub the wedding entirely for it.

So please don't think it's disney- and please, don't even think it's a definate Catholic ruling- as individuals they have the choice to turn up to a civil wedding as they would any other, just some church communities seem to see themselves as making a big stand by refusing to go to non-church weddings.

Good luck with your wedding- please don't let it spoil your dad

Mommy-on-the-move (who is just visiting from the families board!)

 

[pink_tink8i8]

WHAT! firstly, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation I really hope that people aren't declining based on your religious beliefs and what YOU want for your wedding. I'm catholic and getting married at disney and I haven't had any problems. If you are concerned, do you think they would accept you getting married in the WP and having a catholic priest do the ceremony????

 

[pink_tink8i8]

this is copied right off the DFTW site

Can I have a Catholic ceremony and be married by a priest?
Although Disney's Wedding Pavilion is non-denominational, the official Orlando Catholic Diocese position is that no wedding ceremonies will be recognized outside the Catholic Church. We encourage you to speak with your personal clergy about your situation.

Interesting, what does that mean exactly? The church won't recognize the marriage? as in they won't marry you or just not recognize it but can still marry you?

 

[GlobalDiva]

Oh my, that's so sad!! I'm so sorry to hear about your predicament.

My family and most of our friends are Roman Catholic and we have all been to several non-Church weddings of Catholic brides and grooms, and it was never an issue for anyone. Of course, I can see a Church itself expressing disapproval, but the guests? I can't really picture that. I don't know...unless they're SUPER old-fashioned, pre-Vatican II Catholics, like Mel Gibson or something

I wouldn't read into it too much though; they may well have declined for financial reasons; it's common to decline destination wedding invites because many people can't spend the money on airfare, plus hotel, plus gift. I know it sucks, but 'tis a common issue for us Dis brides

Did your DF's family ever express anger that the wedding wasn't happening in a Church?

 

[GlobalDiva]

Interesting, what does that mean exactly? The church won't recognize the marriage? as in they won't marry you or just not recognize it but can still marry you?

Hey Pink_Tink8i8,

yes, the Catholic Church won't recognize a wedding that takes place outside a Church, and a Catholic priest won't perform a marriage ceremony outside a Church.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

Hey Pink_Tink8i8,

yes, the Catholic Church won't recognize a wedding that takes place outside a Church, and a Catholic priest won't perform a marriage ceremony outside a Church.

Alot of them also won't do wedding blessings- we had a blessing ceremony but it was called something else (can't think of the name of it) but it couldn't be called/seen as a wedding blessing- it was more him blessing us than the marriage itself if i recall.

 

[hope1826]

Thanks to all for the well wishes.

So I just spoke with the priest in what would be my DF's parish (if he did actually go to church)...

He said that our marriage WILL NOT be recognized by the Catholic Church (especially the Roman Catholic Church) and that after the marriage my DF will knowingly and actively be living in sin. Therefore, for strict Roman Catholic's it is practically a sin, their souls will be in danger, if they attend a wedding of a Roman Catholic marrying a non-catholic outside of a catholic church, because they would be condoning DF's choice to live in sin.

They can attend our wedding if we have a Catholic blessing/ceremony before the Disney ceremony or if my DF denounces Catholicism (he would have to speak with the priest in his parish and proclaim that he is no longer Roman Catholic.) He said that strict catholics CAN attend weddings of two non-catholic people, and that those weddings are actually accepted as real, it's not a sin. But a Catholic marrying outside the Catholic church is a sin. Yikes!

So now I really really think that this is why they declined the invitations. The first couple to decline both work for the catholic church. They are all super strict Polish Roman Catholic.

I just really wish they would have told us this when they got the save-the-dates from Disney two months ago. We also sent out a newsletter 2 months ago. And I made hand made invitations and spent about $25 per invitations and way too much time designing these invitations for them. I kind of want to ask for them back! It really bothers me that they can't just tell us.

We've asked why, and they just apologize, but don't say why. They would have had to fly and get hotel rooms for the exact same cost. And they said they were coming, when they thought it was in NJ.

It also bothers me that if this is the reason, then for the rest of our lives together, his family will be looking at us as if we are not really married and we are living in sin. That isn't fair.

I wasn't a disney bride but I did have a civil wedding and my understanding is it's all civil/non-religious weddings. I married in a castle (I'm in the UK) and i chose it because we had a baby already and my husbands Catholic faith didn't want to see us married in church if she was part of the bridal party so we decided on a civil service, however it meant out of dh's family only his mother, sisters and paternal family attended- NONE of his mothers family (aside from his mom and sisters) came and his mother is one of eleven!!!! I personally found it really offish of them as we had guests from other faiths (muslim, sihk and jehovahs witness) and none of them made issue- my one BIL sat outside for the ceremony as he is JW but he didn't snub the wedding entirely for it.

That doesn't sound fair either. Dis his mother's family tell you that their religion is the reason they could not attend your wedding?

We do have a few regular catholics attending the wedding and one of my BM's is hindu. But it's just the Roman Catholics, except for his mom and dad, who have declined.

His mom has said that this won't be a real wedding. She's just attending and pretending it's a fun party. She says we HAVE to get married in a catholic church for her. But we cannot if we both disagree with the vows DF would have to take. He would have to vow to try to convert me, and to raise our children as Roman Catholics which we don't want to do.

 

[mla1977]

Catholics can attend any wedding they chose to attend. They are not obligated by the church to only attend the weddings of their Catholic friends and family. In Florida there is some kind of option of being married by a priest from the Old Catholic Church (google it for more info).

I've heard how some people have had problems with their home parish requiring them to return to Orlando and have their wedding blessed by a priest in the archdiocese.

It could be that the guest that are declining are just a******* who are stuck in their ways and will not accept a non-Catholic ceremony. That would be their choice. I personally have been to cousins' ceremonies that have been held in protestant church, parks, backyards, and even a synagogue (sp). The wedding that I am attending next month is not being held in a church and it is for my Catholic cousin. In fact more of the Catholic marriages ended in divorce than the other marriages.

 

[hope1826]

Catholics can attend any wedding they chose to attend. They are not obligated by the church to only attend the weddings of their Catholic friends and family. In Florida there is some kind of option of being married by a priest from the Old Catholic Church (google it for more info).

I've heard how some people have had problems with their home parish requiring them to return to Orlando and have their wedding blessed by a priest in the archdiocese.

It could be that the guest that are declining are just a******* who are stuck in their ways and will not accept a non-Catholic ceremony. That would be their choice. I personally have been to cousins' ceremonies that have been held in protestant church, parks, backyards, and even a synagogue (sp). The wedding that I am attending next month is not being held in a church and it is for my Catholic cousin. In fact more of the Catholic marriages ended in divorce than the other marriages.

Do you know if they got dispensations from the Catholic Church before their wedding? From what I understood from the priest I just spoke to, I think our RC guests can attend, if we got a dispensation, but even then the ceremony would have to be inside a protestant church or a synagogue and my DF would still have to take pre-cana classes and vow to convert me and raise catholic children. So we don't want a dispensation.

I think you are right about the guests being stuck in their ways, but I'm trying to be understanding. I think that they honestly believe that they will go to hell if they attend our Disney wedding!

 

[hope1826]

Disney is NOT unholy. FHs father was a brother/priest and is now married. They are VERY religious, and his sister is a nun!!! They are all comming...

Talk to them! I think thats crazy if that is the reason!!

Are you having a catholic blessing done by a priest at another time??

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Thanks to all for the well wishes.

So I just spoke with the priest in what would be my DF's parish (if he did actually go to church)...

He said that our marriage WILL NOT be recognized by the Catholic Church (especially the Roman Catholic Church) and that after the marriage my DF will knowingly and actively be living in sin. Therefore, for strict Roman Catholic's it is practically a sin, their souls will be in danger, if they attend a wedding of a Roman Catholic marrying a non-catholic outside of a catholic church, because they would be condoning DF's choice to live in sin.

They can attend our wedding if we have a Catholic blessing/ceremony before the Disney ceremony or if my DF denounces Catholicism (he would have to speak with the priest in his parish and proclaim that he is no longer Roman Catholic.) He said that strict catholics CAN attend weddings of two non-catholic people, and that those weddings are actually accepted as real, it's not a sin. But a Catholic marrying outside the Catholic church is a sin. Yikes!

So now I really really think that this is why they declined the invitations. The first couple to decline both work for the catholic church. They are all super strict Polish Roman Catholic.

I just really wish they would have told us this when they got the save-the-dates from Disney two months ago. We also sent out a newsletter 2 months ago. And I made hand made invitations and spent about $25 per invitations and way too much time designing these invitations for them. I kind of want to ask for them back! It really bothers me that they can't just tell us.

We've asked why, and they just apologize, but don't say why. They would have had to fly and get hotel rooms for the exact same cost. And they said they were coming, when they thought it was in NJ.

It also bothers me that if this is the reason, then for the rest of our lives together, his family will be looking at us as if we are not really married and we are living in sin. That isn't fair.



That doesn't sound fair either. Dis his mother's family tell you that their religion is the reason they could not attend your wedding?

We do have a few regular catholics attending the wedding and one of my BM's is hindu. But it's just the Roman Catholics, except for his mom and dad, who have declined.

His mom has said that this won't be a real wedding. She's just attending and pretending it's a fun party. She says we HAVE to get married in a catholic church for her. But we cannot if we both disagree with the vows DF would have to take. He would have to vow to try to convert me, and to raise our children as Roman Catholics which we don't want to do.

now i am having a panic attack that dfs family will not attend. I can not believe the catholic church is that against it. It is their own fault that they will not marry us. I still do not see how its okay though..

 

[hope1826]

I do recall reading somewhere that Disney weddings is NOT accepted as a religious ceremony for some religions...which is sad.

I remember thinking about this cause DHs family is catholic & they are pretty serious about it, but they never disowned or gave DH a hard time about it

I hope thats not why so many guests are declining...can DF kinda see if he can find out "thru the grapvine" if thats the issue??

Im sorry this is happening...just remember...this wedding is about you & DF & what you two want

Thank you. I will try to stay focused on us. but just like you said... I just think it's sad.

EEEkkkk I hope my DF doesn't get disowned. His mom keeps saying that we HAVE to get married in a catholic church, but she doesn't ever say what she will do if we don't do that.

 

[Mrsdisneyb2b]

Are you having a catholic blessing done by a priest at another time??

not sure yet. We were considering having a church ceremony when we got back but after reading all of this i dont want to even have it in the church now. It's terrible.... and I am a devout catholic myself... I think its insane....

 

[hope1826]

now i am having a panic attack that dfs family will not attend. I can not believe the catholic church is that against it. It is their own fault that they will not marry us. I still do not see how its okay though..

Oh no, I'm sorry!! Don't have a panic attack. Everyone is different. My DF's mom and Dad are coming. They don't believe it's a real marriage, but they are coming and just kind of pretending it's a really fun party.

Does your DF's family know that your wedding is going to be at Disney? Are you going to have a blessing done?