Appropriate graduation gift amount for neighbor

[ronandannette]

Lol Dd told me her friend group said they were all giving each other $50 (group of 10), I said that’s fine but my daughter to use her own money. What a racket.

Right? And people here call invitations to bridal and baby showers gift-grabs. I'd decline to attend a party of this type with people I don't know that well or care that much about and darned straight I wouldn't be agonizing over how much money to give a graduate I don't even really know.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

A neighbor I barely know - I wouldn't go to the party, but that's not the question at hand. If I were to go, at LEAST $50 for two people.

 

[JenBush]

I give $25 for neighbors and other acquaintances. $50 for friends and family

 

[mjkacmom]

Right? And people here call invitations to bridal and baby showers gift-grabs. I'd decline to attend a party of this type with people I don't know that well or care that much about and darned straight I wouldn't be agonizing over how much money to give a graduate I don't even really know.

I probably didn’t explain this well, these are my daughter’s best friends, some from kindergarten, all at least 6 years. They’re always planning social things together, and love gift giving. When they were younger, I didn’t hesitate to give her $10 for a secret Santa gift, or a secret valentines gift, or friendsgiving gift. I still will give her money for a birthday party gift, because these girls are like family. When my older kids graduated high school, they decided among themselves not to give each other monetary gifts, because it would be like giving money to themselves in the end. One of DD’s friends is a bit extra (has a twin and older sister, but acts more like a spoiled only child, even though she really isn’t), so when this discussion came up, and most agreed to to give each other money (maybe get matching bracelets instead), she insisted on $50 each. I’m curious how it will pan out, I know some of the moms feel the same as me, they all have jobs, they can give each other $50, so give what they receive. I think matching bracelets are a better idea.

 

[cedricandsophie]

To me $25 does seem too little. If it were me I’d give a minimum of $50 snd if I really liked the kid $100. But we live north of chicago and people tend to give what they can afford. For us we wouldn’t miss 50 or 100 but others might miss 25. It really just depends. If he’s going to college a target gift card to cover some items might be a nice approach.

 

[mjkacmom]

I probably didn’t explain this well, these are my daughter’s best friends, some from kindergarten, all at least 6 years. They’re always planning social things together, and love gift giving. When they were younger, I didn’t hesitate to give her $10 for a secret Santa gift, or a secret valentines gift, or friendsgiving gift. I still will give her money for a birthday party gift, because these girls are like family. When my older kids graduated high school, they decided among themselves not to give each other monetary gifts, because it would be like giving money to themselves in the end. One of DD’s friends is a bit extra (has a twin and older sister, but acts more like a spoiled only child, even though she really isn’t), so when this discussion came up, and most agreed to to give each other money (maybe get matching bracelets instead), she insisted on $50 each. I’m curious how it will pan out, I know some of the moms feel the same as me, they all have jobs, they can give each other $50, so give what they receive. I think matching bracelets are a better idea.

So weird, just got a group text from one of the moms asking if we like the idea of matching bracelets, they are $150 (cheaper than the $450 if giving everyone cash).

 

[ronandannette]

I probably didn’t explain this well, these are my daughter’s best friends, some from kindergarten, all at least 6 years. They’re always planning social things together, and love gift giving. When they were younger, I didn’t hesitate to give her $10 for a secret Santa gift, or a secret valentines gift, or friendsgiving gift. I still will give her money for a birthday party gift, because these girls are like family. When my older kids graduated high school, they decided among themselves not to give each other monetary gifts, because it would be like giving money to themselves in the end. One of DD’s friends is a bit extra (has a twin and older sister, but acts more like a spoiled only child, even though she really isn’t), so when this discussion came up, and most agreed to to give each other money (maybe get matching bracelets instead), she insisted on $50 each. I’m curious how it will pan out, I know some of the moms feel the same as me, they all have jobs, they can give each other $50, so give what they receive. I think matching bracelets are a better idea.

Sorry - my comments about not attending the party or giving a gift were in reference to the OP's original issue, not yours. I quoted your post to emphasize the whole "graduation cash grab" situation.

 

[CO2CA]

Your neighbor is making out good! I didn't even get a card or acknowledgement for my graduation from half my family, even though I sent announcements. I wasn't even wanting money, just the happy recognition of a card or FB message. Hurts to think about, but that's how it is unfortunately lol

In other words...anything you give should be very much appreciated!

 

[AndreaDM]

Sorry - my comments about not attending the party or giving a gift were in reference to the OP's original issue, not yours. I quoted your post to emphasize the whole "graduation cash grab" situation.

I sincerely hope that no one I invited to DD's party feels it's a "cash grab". Yes, I invited people we haven't seen for a while, but these are genuine friends who DD has fond memories of. I have a feeling I'm spending more on the party than she'll get in gifts, but that's ok! We are celebrating her graduation from high school (and her 28K scholarship we just found out about!), and I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone. Oh, and there will be an open bar (adults only of course).

 

[Orion Nebula]

Get him a 50.00 savings bond. It will only cost you 25.00 and he will hate it and his parents will think it was a great idea.

(personal experience)

 

[soccerdad72]

Get him a 50.00 savings bond. It will only cost you 25.00 and he will hate it and his parents will think it was a great idea.

(personal experience)

You need someone's SSN these days to buy someone a savings bond - it would be unlikely the neighbors are going to pass that out for their kid.

 

[Orion Nebula]

You need someone's SSN these days to buy someone a savings bond - it would be unlikely the neighbors are going to pass that out for their kid.

I had no idea but it was partly a joke. I got them when I was a kid and I wasn't exactly excited over them.

 

[soccerdad72]

I had no idea but it was partly a joke. I got them when I was a kid and I wasn't exactly excited over them.

My kids got a lot of them when they were younger from various family members (and yeah, they were thrilled by them ) but I honestly didn't know if they sold them anymore. I had to go look it up.

 

[Orion Nebula]

My kids got a lot of them when they were younger from various family members (and yeah, they were thrilled by them ) but I honestly didn't know if they sold them anymore. I had to go look it up.

I only have a few, I think face value was only 50.00 , I didn't realize they stopped gaining interest at the 30 year mark and I think I hit that. Which means I can go get a few hundred bucks! I am rich! lol

 

[Snowflakey]

I'm giving $50 to a "former" neighbor. They moved about 8 years ago - but still in our town.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Grads seem so much different down there then in my neck of the woods.
Most people don't have big parties - there is a huge grad dinner/dance with after parties for the grads. The grad dance (prom I guess in American lingo) is held at the end of June and is the party. Parents don't attend unless volunteering.

I have never been invited to or given gift to any grad except for my nieces and nephews. Grad gifts from anyone but immediate family (parents, grandparents and maybe aunts/uncles) are not common. Well maybe in certain cultures but not mainstream.

I only gave my kid about $100 in gifts totally. Nieces and nephews about $40/$50.

 

[Orion Nebula]

Grads seem so much different down there then in my neck of the woods.
Most people don't have big parties - there is a huge grad dinner/dance with after parties for the grads. The grad dance (prom I guess in American lingo) is held at the end of June and is the party. Parents don't attend unless volunteering.

I have never been invited to or given gift to any grad except for my nieces and nephews. Grad gifts from anyone but immediate family (parents, grandparents and maybe aunts/uncles) are not common. Well maybe in certain cultures but not mainstream.

I only gave my kid about $100 in gifts totally. Nieces and nephews about $40/$50.

I had a party and so did my kids but I don't "get them", why do you need a huge party to congratulate someone for not dropping out of school? I mean great you just did what you are supposed to do. And then pretty much getting paid because you weren't a failure.

"congrats on not failing at life Billy, here's a 50"

 

[AndreaDM]

I had a party and so did my kids but I don't "get them", why do you need a huge party to congratulate someone for not dropping out of school? I mean great you just did what you are supposed to do. Oh and "here's a 50 Billy for not being a failure".

I have a friend who feels the same way, but I always see the parties and gifts as something to help the recent grad out with a little cash to head out on their own whether it's college, military or work force, just something to help get them started. My older DDs used their grad gift money to buy new laptops for college. The party is also an excuse to get friends and family together, we've always had a blast at the ones we've had.

 

[ronandannette]

I sincerely hope that no one I invited to DD's party feels it's a "cash grab". Yes, I invited people we haven't seen for a while, but these are genuine friends who DD has fond memories of. I have a feeling I'm spending more on the party than she'll get in gifts, but that's ok! We are celebrating her graduation from high school (and her 28K scholarship we just found out about!), and I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone. Oh, and there will be an open bar (adults only of course).

Again, according to the OP, she received an invitation from neighbours they are not personal friends with, nor are her kids friends with the graduate. While it has been pointed out the host may have included the entire block in order to avoid awkwardness, in that circumstance I wouldn't go and I certainly wouldn't agonize over not giving a large enough cash gift.

 

[karen4546]

Our neighbors son just graduated high school and invited us to the party. We are friendly with them but not friends, if that makes sense. I am not sure the appropriate amount to put in his card. I don't want to be cheap, but don't want to put to much in the card. I think $25.00 is a good amount but my husband said that is cheap and we should at least put $50.00 in there. I think that sounds like a lot!

I agree with your husband. $50 seems reasonable.