Anyone with adult children who haved moved back home?

[elismom]

My daughter who is 23 wants to move back in with me.
I even offered to help her with her rent but she says she just misses living with me.

 

[RUDisney]

When we were first married, the people from whom we were renting wanted their house back. They'd have let us have it for 6 months to a year, but they were DH's best friend's family and they were having their first child. He convinced me to let them have their house back. We moved in with his mother and took his best friend's lake cottage for the weekends. I lived there for a month before I couldn't stand it any more. I moved back to my parents' house and he lived with his mother during the week. We'd live together on the weekends. When it got too cold to stay at the lake, he'd stay with me, on the pullout couch in my parents' living room. We lived like that for 4 months.

My sister and BIL moved in with my parents last September while they were building their house. They had sold their house and needed temporary lodging. Luckily, my BIL likes my parents more than his own, so it worked out wonderfully for them. Additionally, they had the basement to themselves, as there weren't as many people living there as when I had moved back in.

It worked out for both of us. But, then again, we had specific timeframes for our housing needs. It sounds like your DD's needs are open-ended.

My parents always welcomed us back, even though it wasn't something for which they had planned. If you get along with your DD and won't get on one another's nerves, it can be a good experience for both of you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Did something happen like a relationship gone awry? Is she in financial trouble? If it is an emotional issue maybe she can work through this with some counseling?

You said you would help her with rent which would lead to believe there is an issue. If that is the case I would ask to see her bills first.

If my dd wanted to move back because she misses me I would have to delve into the real reason before I let her back. If it turned out to be serious then I would help her. But everything would have to be "on the table" so to speak.

Good Luck with whatever you decide...

 

[jx3smom]

Mine haven't even left yet! Actually, the 24 yo lives with a friend but this is his legal address and the 23 yo hasn't left. He is looking for a teaching job but the state of NJ is 6 months behind in issuing the certifications and he applied in Feb.

 

[goofy4tink]

OMG!!! Welcome to my life. My ds was 27 when he lost his job. He was living in NH and commuting to MA each day. Only about a 15 minute ride for him. When he lost his job, he went back to a job he had had before, while in school. Only problem was that the job was/is a 15 minute ride from my house and an hour, 15 minutes from his apt in NH!!! And it's the overnight shift. So, he moved back here, with us for about 6 months. He did pay rent tho and did yard chores. He got an apt with a friend. Now, this 'friend' has lost his job and is looking in Boston for a new one and told my dh that he doesn't feel like making the 45 minute commute, so may be moving out!!! Of course we're not sure where he's going to find a rent that's close to what he's paying now. And that leaves my ds holding the 'lease bag' so to speak. He has asked if 'push comes to shove' he can come home for awhile. Man, that's just what I need...a 30 y/o living at home. It just never stops. Why can't he find a nice girl and get married??!!

 

[disney queen]

how about never left?! our son is 23 and still in college. keeps telling me one more semester. right!

 

[inaminute]

My youngest is getting ready to leave--he's 23. My oldest will be getting out of the military and, most likely, moving home. Why do I have the feeling that it will ALWAYS be one moving out, the other moving in? LOL!

 

[Figaro]

If it helps, the moving out of adult children into their own homes is a relatively recent occurrence in human history(smile). Ours are grown and gone, but know that they can come back home if they need to, as our door is always open.

But then, none of my family move very far from home (I'm across the driveway from my folks and the home I grew up in). It really just depends on the relationship and the reasons whether or not it can work to have adult kids living with you.

Good luck!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

well, i went away to college for a semester, and then moved home..so now im commuting to college and living with my family..ill be 20 in a couple of months...

my mom said eventually i need to find a nice guy , and get my own house haha...of course, she says shes kidding, that i can stay....at least for a couple more years till i have the money to move out

 

[powellrj]

Everytime I talk to my DS (21) he tells me he can't wait to move back home when he gets out of the army. I keep telling him do you really want to share a room with your brother who will be 16 when you will be 23? He keeps telling me YES!! I will wait and see.....

 

[robsmom]

My brother and my sisters and I all seemed to live at home for a long time. I left for college, came back when I graduated and got my first job and didnt' leave until I married at 28. My sister came back to go to grad school and then stayed until 30. other sister left about 26 and db around 25. My cousin even moved in when I moved out and stayed for a few years. My parents collected rent from all of us. I think in general it was a good thing, we developed adult relationships with each other and our parents and interact great now.