Anyone Else's In-Laws send them less gift $$ than than your spouse?

[stacy347]

Yep, I get nothing for my b-day from MIL, but DH always gets a card with money. To make sure I know this, she always calls my phone to tell me to have him come by and get his card.

 

[LovesTimone]

My 1st MIL - always gave ex 50 for birthday and Christmas, but would give me a gift, most of the time it was worth more than the 50 he got.... Now mind you the gifts were always for the home. When we split up... I did take them, they were a gift's.

Currently - My parents give DH and I the same for B-day's - except if it is a special birthday - a milestone. Then there is always a extra little something but it applies for both of us. It is the same for Christmas, except my mom always gets me something extra. She gives it to me when we are alone, we are very close. It is always something small that maybe while we were shopping that I would say in passing oh this is cute or whatever, last year it was a small plant flag with Mickey on it. I look at it everyday. It's kinda become a tradition, Now I'm giving one to my DD.

My MIL is not in a financial position to give gifts, she is in a nursing home.

 

[McIntoshMango]

My dad only gives me a gift. His mom gives us all the same. It doesn't really matter to us.

 

[Praying Colonel]

I get 1/3 of what DW gets. But I have no problem with that--I just think it's very nice that they think of me and give me a gift.

ETA: Christmas gift is a joint gift to both of us.

 

[MaggieBailey]

My DH and I live in NC, my whole family in PA and his in NV. We don't have any family here (formerly military, he got out and we didn't care for either of our home states, southern people we are now, haha!) my folks don't "gift" to us, except maybe the occasional gift card at Christmas, whereas my siblings (5 of them) and their "others" all get oodles of gifts, for Christmas and birthdays. I have gotten a card from my folks 2 times in the 6 years I have been gone from up north.... My husband has gotten 1. Out of sight out of mind.... It hurts, but whateva, can't change it! Haha... DH's mom always sends us the same, either at Christmas or birthdays - even occasionally she'll mail random little gifts to us and there will always be something for each!

 

[roscoepc1]

I don't get why people would think that their in-laws should give them the same as they give their own flesh and blood children!

B/c once you're married, you're family...at least that's the way it is in MY family...we don't DO the "IL thing"....dh is my parent's son, the only time "son-in'law" is used is when they're intorducing him to someone who doesn't know them well enough to know my parents only gave birth to girls!

In fact, until MIL made it very clear she considered me garbage, they were simply "Mom and Dad Ross" to me....now they're "Dad Ross" and my mil!

 

[bpesch]

My MIL has given us the same amount for the 30 years we've been married. And it hasn't changed a bit in all that time. We have two children who are now adults and she stopped giving them birthday money when they turned 18. She has plenty of money and only a few grandchildren, but doesn't even send them a card now.

For Christmas she sends us the same $150 check that she always has. I end up splitting it up. Since my kids are young adults and have no money, my husband and I decided just to split the Christmas check between the two kids. We don't tell my MIL, we just do it and thank her for the gift.

 

[puffkin]

My parents give me more. At Christmas and Birthdays. I am their child, so I think that is fair.

They are extremely generous to DH though and he still gets plenty from them. We also usually get some type of "joint" gift for Christmas. Last year is was AP's to WDW (for me, DH, and DS). I got a few extra things under the tree that added up to about $200, DH got a DVD and a shirt as well (about $50). At birthdays he usually gets $50 and I usually get $100.

My in-laws don't really do much of anything for us. I get about 1/2 of what he gets for birthdays (which isn't much) and we get nothing for Christmas. They don't enjoy giving (and it isn't a money issue), but they sure enjoy receiving

 

[ssawka]

I've been married for just under 16 years and I still call my mother-in-law Mrs. (last name). She has never asked me to call her anything different so I've continued. You'd think after 16 years, she'd get a clue and ask me to call her by her first name or something like that.

We call the in-laws by their first names, but I still feel a little odd doing that as well. So, if I address them directly, I usually don't use any name unless I have to. I just walk up to them and start talking.

 

[patsal]

My DH's Mom gives him double what she gives me, I don't really care, a card would be more than enough, but we do get a giggle out of it.

 

[Darcy03231]

My in-laws have never sent me a gift for my birthday or Christmas, not even a card.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Before my mom passed away, she did about the same for each of us for Birthdays and Christmas. I don't think she ever gave cash, unless she really couldn't find anything that DH wanted or the store was sold out and the money could be used for that item later. She would usually take me to get something DH had asked for and sometimes she and I would even go in together on a larger gift. She always knew exactly what to get me and might spend more on me than DH, but it was never really noticable.

There would usually be a special gift at Christmas to me from her, but that was a mother/daughter thing.

My MIL and SFIL have never given me a birthday gift until this year and it was a figurine from a collection I love. They have never given either of us anything for Christmas other than maybe a card and I don't think we get one every year. MIL always says there is a gift in the mail to each of every years, but in all these years, this is the first I have actually received something and DH brought it back with him when he was in California, I guess she sent such great gifts the mailman decided to keep them

My FIL and SMIL haven't given either of us a birthday gift since we have been together, but they always send us a joint gift card each year and it is usually a different place each year. DH birthday was yesterday and his dad told him that there was a gift for each of us in the mail (my birthday was in June).

My mom always gave us an Anniversary gift, she didn't have to, but she did anyway. My mom was always very generous with both of us.

DH has never been the gift buyer when it comes to me, so mom would take him to pick out something for me, since she knew me so well, and she would even pay for it.

 

[xbatman]

It's interesting to read about everyone's different situations.

Birthdays are funny with my dad and stepmom - kind of hit or miss. Sometimes one or the other will get something and the other won't or we'll go out for one's birthday and not the other's. It just depends when we see them since we're a little over an hour away, and the gift or dinner is for all, so it doesn't matter.

With my grandparents we always received money once we were teenagers. Once you were with your SO for more than one Christmas (married yet or not), your amount was split between the 2 of you (they got less the first year).

With our daughter and the other grandchildren, the amount doesn't really matter. They want to know what the child really wants, so the amount varies, but each gets what he or she really wants and is happy.

At Christmas, the grandkids get gifts and all the three daughters get the same nice check for the family (ours immediately goes in the WDW vacation account), so we're all very grateful.

 

[mdrob214]

DH and I have been married 20 years. Our birthdays are 6 days apart, so we get our gifts at the same time. My mom has always given us each $50. His parents are divorced and his dad gives us each the same thing. Usually gift cards--for varying amounts--some years are for $20, others $50. His mom either sends nothing or cash. DH gets more than me every time. It used to bother me, but now I just laugh. We almost always pool our birthday money together, anyway.

 

[poopsie81305]

My IL's give DH and I the same for both birthday and Christmas.....nothing. I don't expect anything from them, but I do feel bad that DH's birthday passes year after year with barely any recognition. With our kids it's hit or miss. Sometimes years they get a gift, some they don't. There are 13 grandkids in the family and only the favorites regularly get gifts.
We have been together for 10 years and we have been giving them gifts for birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Easter without even a "thank you" in return. This year I decided that we are being too generous and will only be doing a Christmas gift as my kids are getting old enough to notice that their cousins get gifts, but they don't.
My mother and grandmother always give each of us a gift for birthdays and Christmas. For birthdays, I think I get a little more than DH, and the kids get more than me. Christmas is usually a family gift.

 

[angierae]

My MIL gives DH more on his birthday than me, and probably more on Christmas, $ wise (but she always makes sure everyone has the same # of gifts to open, since we take turns) but it doesn't really bother me. She gives me a check for $50 for my birthday and that's fine - both of my birth parents are gone and I only have one living stepparent and he has so many grand and great-grandchildren us kids don't get anything.

HOWEVER, my MIL is also very, very generous when it comes to "couples" gifts - she pays the $200 hotel bill for a weekend convention we go to every January as part of our Christmas gift, and also gives us something else worth $200-300 - last year it was book cases for the room we're renovating into a library, this year it will probably be $ towards our flights to Disney next spring.

Now, my FIRST MIL used to shower my exH with gifts and then give me things like a vacuum for my birthday, and even her own family used to give her crap about it. But I was the "evil woman" who "stole" her son, so...

 

[Maryr1]

On the rare occasion that my in-laws gave me anything, it was always less than they gave to their son. Usually they gave him money and told him "not to tell". Go figure. They haven't given me a thing in years and that is Ok with me. I don't need/want for anything so whatever works for them is fine. I also now leave the gift choosing for them to my DH. On the other hand, if I give my neices/nephews,siblings (both mine and DH) a gift, I buy what I think will make them happy or be a treat for them-so I pay very little attention to cost and way more attention to the gift. That has created some feelings of transient unfairness, but it always evens out in the end and by now they are all Ok with that.

 

[mrsklamc]

My mom gives us the same amount of $. My in laws love picking out the perfect gift (and are good at it) and I honestly doubt it occurs to them whether DH's or mine costs more. I'm sure there have been years where one of his was far more expensive than mine and vice versa.

 

[eyor44]

Our parents only send cards for bdays. For Christmas DH's parents send him way more than me and my DM gives DH more than me. She likes him better cause he mowed her yard.

I was only kind of hurt one year when all MIL sent me was a pair of Mickey socks. Okay, I love Mickey, but just a pair of socks? A couple days later when I pulled them off the card board holder, I felt something hard in one foot. There was a Disney GC that had slide all the way down the sock. Always check the socks. You never know what may be in them.

 

[E-P-C-O-T]

My Mil not only gets me the cheapest gifts, but, she actually shows me the amazing gifts she gets for DH and my Sisters' in law. Im talking about saphire rings, watches, spa certificates and beautiful, designer clothes. Then, I get all excited thinking that I get a great gift too and I end up getting a cheap vinyl purse I know she does it on purpose and I fall for it everytime They live well, have lots of $$$, it's not like they will go broke if they get me something nice. The thing that bugs me, is that I am always so nice to them and get them the nicest things. Oh well, maybe, I won't be that nice to her this Christmas...