Anyone Else's In-Laws send them less gift $$ than than your spouse?

[arthur06]

I do have a friend, who every year at Christmas gets to watch his wife open many presents (not usually expensive gifts) from her mother. And he gets a package of work socks. Every year, like clockwork, no exceptions.

 

[superdiz]

What is funny is that yes, my in-laws give my husband more for his birthday but this has never really registred to me until you just raised the question! lol I think I just assume that makes sense and I will probably do the same for my kids and their spouses. That's my baby. That's her baby. It makes sense to me! I also don't get $, I get gifts. He gets $ and gifts

And they are really awesome in-laws and we all get along great. So I personally don't feel like it's purposefully evil or anything like that. Her baby, big presents. I think it's cute.

 

[2manypets]

My MiL always gives my DH more than me. She gave birth and raised him so I have no hard feelings. I do, however, feel like she should give me a little extra to have re-trained him!

 

[StitchBuddy]

Yes, and it drove me nuts!! My mom was always the Even Steven type. So when my husband would get $100 for his birthday(from his dad) and I would get $15 worth of dish towels, it made me a little sad. Then, later on I got nothing at all. Now, I get about the same as him. It is strange!! No real rhyme or reason. Thankfully, I really love his dad and the older I get the less of a deal I want my birthday to be. LOL!!

 

[Planogirl]

My MIL doesn't give birthday gifts but saves for Christmas. She gives all five of her kids and any in-laws the same exact amount and then gives all of the grandkids (5) a bit less. I'm always very grateful.

 

[mommyrosa2]

My parents always spent equal amount of $$ on both of us when it came to gifts. My MIL on the other hand gives my DH much more than me and the kids. I normally wouldn't mind but it's the way she does it, that makes me crazy. She practically shoves a sealed envelope in his pocket as if she's trying to hide something then she usually hands me another envelope, chuckles & tells me to split the amount with the kids . It used to bother me in the beginning but after 26 yrs of marriage, I don't let it get to me anymore.

 

[SnowWhite2]

I have a good story -

We don't get to visit ILs often as they are 1/2 way across the country but are always happy to see us (well, DH and the kids ) DSil has a birthday about a week before mine. When we were visiting the ILs, MIL had a birthday cake made for DSil with her name on it. I thought it was odd that they wouldn't acknowledge my birthday also. DH must have said something because next time we visit at the same time of year, the cake as my name and DSil name on it. But this time, DSil got a gift from MIL and was given it right in front of me. I got nothing. I thought that was so rude and I felt horrible. I guess I was trying to ignore the fact that she treated me differently but this just made it glaringly apparent to the entire family. She sees DSil quite often so there was no need to give her the gift then, except to make a point.

As for DH, his parents sometimes give him a gift and sometimes not. Although they seem to always give his two brothers gifts every year. It's just an odd situation and I am very over it.

 

[blondietink]

My in-laws, when they were alive, didn't give either my DH or me any gifts or gift money. They didn't give our kids (their grandchildren) anything either. But, they did expect us and my DH's siblings to always give them things and/or money for Christmas, birthdays, etc. To them, holidays were all about themselves. Count yourself lucky.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

My MIL, who brags constantly about her money, sent me a $5 bill in a card in the mail two years ago. Sends far more to DH. It was basically a big "screw you". This past year, we were in the middle of WW3, so I did not get anything. Boo, hoo.

I think she forgets that my DH cannot make a decision on his own. Oh, how I can't wait to decide on a nursing home....

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I'm not married so I don't have any in-laws but my mother has never been given a b-day card from my dad's mom let alone a present of any kind (half the time she doesn't acknowledge my mother even exists).

My mom's mom doesn't pretend my dad doesn't exist but she doesn't get him anything for his b-day; she just tells him happy b-day and leaves it at that.

If I ever do get married I will just be happy if my in-laws treat me nicely on my b-day

 

[Pumpkinmuffin]

My Mother in Law always sends DH money for his birthday. Sometimes I get something and some times I don't. The times that I do get some it's always a little less than he gets.

 

[dfchelbay]

Just wondering if I'm the only one! I've been married for 9 years now, so it's really just kind of amusing to me, but my in-laws always send me less $$ for my birthday than my hubby. DH's birthday is a only a month before mine, so it's not like we don't notice. The kicker is my parents give us both the same amount. I joked to DH today that I should tell my parents to start cutting $5 off of each of his checks . Just wondering if anyone else has in-laws that send you less gift $$ than your spouse. OH, and BTW-- I am grateful for the $$-- just wanted to start a fun thread, so no need for negative Nellies to post! --Katie

Yep, it's always been that way. DH get's double every year. It's never bothered me. I would sort of expect that their own child would get more...no worries there.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

So here's a question for you all who have inlaws who do not want to acknowledge you (not just with gifts but in general), why do you suppose that is? Was there an event or altercation that occurred before you married? Did thy think their child wasn't marrying into their appropriate status (my inlaws thought that my DH should have married "up" )? It seems like there was a lot of people that do not have a good relationship with their inlaws. And another question, how does your experiences effect how you will or do treat your sil or dil?

I know it is a bit of a hijack but I thought it would be interesting conversation...

 

[MissUndastood]

My MIL always gives me less than DH and DS. My mother on the other hand always gives everyone the same amount. It is interesting to note that MIL has much more money than my mother.

When my parents were alive this was us. My MIL has always given my DH a large cash gift, the kids get the amount of their age and a small trinket and I get a token. (think parchment paper) My parents on the other hand were too generous.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

So here's a question for you all who have inlaws who do not want to acknowledge you (not just with gifts but in general), why do you suppose that is? Was there an event or altercation that occurred before you married? Did thy think their child wasn't marrying into their appropriate status (my inlaws thought that my DH should have married "up" )? It seems like there was a lot of people that do not have a good relationship with their inlaws. And another question, how does your experiences effect how you will or do treat your sil or dil?

I know it is a bit of a hijack but I thought it would be interesting conversation...

I was just wondering the same thing and thought about starting a thread about it, but I didn't fair too well when I posted a recent MIL thread.

My MIL acknowledges me and I know what she says to my face, but I would love to be a fly on the wall to know if that is really the way she feels about me, I bet not, but I may be wrong. I am just glad she and step FL live 2000 miles away

I am really not sure how his father and step-mother feel about me, they have always been nice to me, but we live so far apart, we haven't even seen them since we got married almost 10 years ago.

My mother, on the other hand, treated DH as she would have had he been her son, much better than his own mother treats either of us.

 

[Judique]

Our parents only send cards for bdays. For Christmas DH's parents send him way more than me and my DM gives DH more than me. She likes him better cause he mowed her yard.

I was only kind of hurt one year when all MIL sent me was a pair of Mickey socks. Okay, I love Mickey, but just a pair of socks? A couple days later when I pulled them off the card board holder, I felt something hard in one foot. There was a Disney GC that had slide all the way down the sock. Always check the socks. You never know what may be in them.

This reminds me of my xmas story - exdh (is there such a thing?) gave me a nightie for xmas on xmas eve...you know...a gift really for him! I was so disappointed but tried hard not to show it. Next morning on my tree was a jewelry box with a beautiful ring in it - my 'real' present!

Inlaws gave us joint gifts and bd cards. My parents passed on shortly after my marriage.

 

[mdrob214]

So here's a question for you all who have inlaws who do not want to acknowledge you (not just with gifts but in general), why do you suppose that is? Was there an event or altercation that occurred before you married? Did thy think their child wasn't marrying into their appropriate status (my inlaws thought that my DH should have married "up" )? It seems like there was a lot of people that do not have a good relationship with their inlaws. And another question, how does your experiences effect how you will or do treat your sil or dil?

I know it is a bit of a hijack but I thought it would be interesting conversation...

Well, I had a great relationship with my in-laws. Until I got married. They also went through a divorce at that time. (MIL moved out of the house the Monday after we got married Saturday--it was...uncomfortable (to say the least) the weeks before our wedding. And the wedding pictures of the family?Horrible!)
I think each of the ILs thought we didn't take their side appropriately enough during the divorce. We took no sides at all and they hated that. They played games about who could get us to stay with them when we visited, etc. and to this day (20yrs later) they cannot stand to be in the same room--at birthdays and other important events they won't say a word to one another. DH is military, so we moved away, thankfully! And now that we live less than 4hours away--both ILs seem to think that the interstate is one-way. Meh. We've given up even trying to please them!

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

So here's a question for you all who have inlaws who do not want to acknowledge you (not just with gifts but in general), why do you suppose that is? Was there an event or altercation that occurred before you married? Did thy think their child wasn't marrying into their appropriate status (my inlaws thought that my DH should have married "up" )? It seems like there was a lot of people that do not have a good relationship with their inlaws. And another question, how does your experiences effect how you will or do treat your sil or dil?

I know it is a bit of a hijack but I thought it would be interesting conversation...

My mil is okay with me, but she would be perfectly happy if she didn't have to see the kids and I and only saw DH. When DH was deployed for 15 months she only visited when he was home, leaving the kids and I alone for all of the holidays.

 

[sydneysmom]

my MIL always does this. She gives my DH and DD (who's my step daughter) really great stuff. Me, she'll give the most horrid thing. I know this is on purpose.... funny thing, she was SO nice to me when we were dating. As soon as we got married, the fangs came out. She's a peach all right.

One year I got a used book. The year before last I got a pair of PJ's that were a 2XL. ( I wear a medium ) and last year.... nothing. (which really worked out SOOOOO much better !!! )

 

[roscoepc1]

So here's a question for you all who have inlaws who do not want to acknowledge you (not just with gifts but in general), why do you suppose that is? Was there an event or altercation that occurred before you married? Did thy think their child wasn't marrying into their appropriate status (my inlaws thought that my DH should have married "up" )? It seems like there was a lot of people that do not have a good relationship with their inlaws. And another question, how does your experiences effect how you will or do treat your sil or dil?

I know it is a bit of a hijack but I thought it would be interesting conversation...

She doesn't like me b/c I don't treat my husband like a baby, I expect my children to tell me the truth (I walked in on her telling them to lie to me about something), and I expect her to use things like carseats and seatbelts when she looks after them- which is rare to begin with. Actually, it's non-existant since the carseat and seatbelt war....

She's an immature twit with a martyr complex, and I don't cater to her like the rest of the family does. Well, except for one other dil who I trade places with on the lowest rung fairly often, depending on who she is more upset with, lol.