So here's a question for you all who have inlaws who do not want to acknowledge you (not just with gifts but in general), why do you suppose that is? Was there an event or altercation that occurred before you married? Did thy think their child wasn't marrying into their appropriate status (my inlaws thought that my DH should have married "up" )? It seems like there was a lot of people that do not have a good relationship with their inlaws. And another question, how does your experiences effect how you will or do treat your sil or dil?
I know it is a bit of a hijack but I thought it would be interesting conversation...
My in laws do like me, so it's just the way they do things now. When we dated, she bought me stuff. They have always had financial troubles though, and so I never wanted her to buy me anything, so now she is finally abiding by that. We make way more money than they do, so we don't need anything, but a card would be nice or a phone call. They also always have excuses when hubby has surprise parties for me too, but they are not socially active people, and their is the financial thing as well.
I haven't done anything at all, and in fact, I work harder at the relationship than hubby does, as he has major issues with his parents and sister. They also don't call and talk to me. Even if they have to ask me a question, they ask to speak to him, and it drives me nuts! Hubby continually tells them that they should have called for me, but they don't, so he hands me the phone, and we deal with it that way.
It really is no surprise that they do this, since they also do it with other areas as well. Two immmediate family members of mine died last year, and we were very close, and they both knew them well, and of course, had been to their houses, family functions, etc. They did not so much as send a card to any of my family, nor us. We forced MIL to come to funeral as we needed her to help with our toddler. Things like this just don't occur to them, so not getting a birthday card is no big deal.
They also buy my nieces more gifts than our kids, and they don't come to all of our functions. Nothing we can do, as it's their choice to do this. Our kids are starting to notice more, and that is making for some interesting questions...
My family is the exact opposite, so it's quite a world of extremes over here, but no big deal.
Tiger