Anyone else really afraid to fly?

[Disney-Kim]

Wondering if there are any other's that are afraid to fly like me? I haven't flown in 12 years and I continue to avoid it! The problem is I miss out on things because of it, but I still can't committ to flying! I have told my doctor and was given ativan, but I still don't do it! My husband refuses to make the drive to WDW (it's about 20-22 hours by car). He just recently took my older children to WDW and I stayed home with my little one : ( It was very disappointing and now my youngest child feels left out and asks daily when we will all be going to see Mickey Mouse! There is nothing about flying that I feel comfortable about from start to finish! Does anyone else feel this way? My husband said he would take the train from NYC to Orlando. So, I am strongly considering that. That would be a long trip as well but he said it's better than being in the car! Any thoughts?? I have to get my little one to meet Mickey Mouse and the gang somehow and it's breaking my heart!

I am the same...I developd a fear of flying when I got older....not sure why...we had a scary landing once and I was doomed...or I just got older and more neurotic

my best advice is # XANAX XANAX...Ativan is not strong enough. Xanax doesn't make you just loopy...it actually suppresses the panic. It makes you feel ok with things. It works.
I take it an hour before take off.

next...read online about flying and what happens during take off and what all the noises mean. just google fear of flying help...lots of things come up.

understanding what is happening and what that noise is really helps me avoid panic.
I have learned about noise abatement, the plane slows down to reduce noise during take off...and the noise the flaps make...etc.
I have learned that Airbus planes have a loud whining noise during takeoff...

so see you learn these things and realize that is all normal during takeoff..and landing. and it helps me to get through the panic.

I am basically good during the whole flight...I have the hardest time during take off.

good luck !!

 

[bgirl29]

Have you tried taking the meds on a regular day just to see how they make you feel? Maybe if you try them and see that you still function normally just feel more at ease you will feel better about using them to enable you to get on an airplane.

 

[Disney-Kim]

I wanted to add for all...don't be afraid to take Xanax. Its for panic. It does not make you " out of it" or drunk...

it can make you feel more relaxed or tired but I am never ever at a point that I couldn't care for a child or myself.

its best to try it at home to see how you feel first. its not a narcotic...don't be afraid to use it.
if you need it to help with the fear there is nothing wrong with that

 

[Daisy Dog]

I haven't tried any meds on a regular day, so I guess that may be a good idea to see how it works for me. I just have this worry that it would not work appropriately once on the plane when and if panic was to set in (like during turbulence). Thanks everyone for all of the great tips! I can completely relate to one of the previous posts about the plane not being able to pull over and call AAA if there is trouble! That's my biggest issue with flying, you are in the AIR what happens when something goes wrong? You can't just pull the plane over! My husband recorded his takeoff and landing from his Disney trip for me to watch! It is actually pretty helpful, I think I better watch it like 100 more times!
It makes me a little nervous to watch the plane going up!

 

[LindaG4458]

I used to think the flight was the most fun part of the trip. then all the major airplane events happened. We flew a few times after that, then didn't board a plane for seven years. We recently had a Show up or else! family event in MA while we were in FL for the winter. I took a deep breath and flew.

It wasn't as bad as expected. I thought we would have to have the full patdown but we didn't. It was a rough flight in both directions, but we survived and will do it again if necessary (although not soon).

 

[DaisyLynn]

I am usually fine once the TSA security screening is over. I have nothing to hide, but I really hate having strangers all up in my business. I don't feel any more safe.

Now, that's not to say that I LOVE turbulence. I hate it and sometimes feel like that plane is just going to fall from the sky. I love the tip about watching the flight attendants, though!

 

[tinker-belle]

Hiya. We're in Northern Jersey & I'm also terrified to fly became that way after 9-11. We've taken the auto train 7 times in the last 10 years. We drive down to Lorton, VA which takes about 4 hours, then board the train around 2:30PM. It leaves 4PMsh and arrives the next morning. It does obviously take more time than flying- but if you go coach it is cheaper than flying and you have your car with you. You also don't 'feel' like it's taking too long since it goes through the night & you arrive after breakfast (though I can't say the quality of sleep is a good one, especially in coach

 

[SandrA9810]

I do it out of necessity, I'd rather be in a car any day.

Maybe you should have your husband create a surprise trip, and pack everything for you. Then drive you to the airport. Like they do for the kids in all those Disney commercials. It sounds like you psych yourself out long before the trip even happens.

 

[turkeymama]

I didn't want to be biased by reading too many other replies, so I'll tell you what has worked for me.

Yes, I used medication as a crutch to get over my fear. Some people believe it is better to confront the fear head on without the aid of medication. Unless you have to fly often for work, and like me, only fly once every few years, there is nothing wrong with using a little bit of prescribed medication to get over the hump. It is safe and effective when used properly under the care of a physician. Do not mix alcohol, do not take more than prescribed.

Now that I have flown a few times with the medication (Xanax), I have no anxiety about flying without it. My hubby was very against it at first, but now he appreciates that I take any steps to make it work. I actually enjoy flying now. And at one point, the simple thought of flying paralyzed me with fear.

 

[Flight]

No need for drugs, alcohol, or therapy. There is a simpler way that works.

When boarding the aircraft, inform the flight attendant just inside the entrance that you are a nervous flyer and would like to visit the flight deck to talk with the pilots.

Yes, passengers are still allowed to visit the flight deck before leaving the gate.

Let the pilots know your feelings. A good flight crew will let you know what to expect during the flight. They will also tell you about their qualifications. You will find there are decades of experience at the controls.

Putting a face on those flying the plane and knowing the caliber of those pilots will make the flight more enjoyable.

 

[goofyernmost]

I cannot say that flying is my favorite thing to do. I always end up enjoying the flight especially the night to morning ones where the sunrise comes up over the clouds leaving a golden glow all around the edge of them. Beautiful!

That said, I fought the fear for many years and many thousands of miles. Never panicked but always tense. My fear was of crashing, as it most I guess, but surprisingly turbulence never bothered me at all. I have never been on a flight where the turbulence was worse then riding over a country back road, with potholes.

Then about 15 years ago I took a travel agent course and at the time computers were just starting to be programed to find flights. Up until then there was this huge book with at least 1000, 8 1/2 X 11 pages, printed both sides in the tiniest print you have ever seen. Two columns per page, each line listing separate flights scheduled world wide for ONE day. There were literally 10's of thousands of flights daily and that was 15 years ago.

I took one glance at that and my mind spoke to me. It said, there are that many flights every single day and I almost never hear about a plane crashing. That's millions of people flying every day. I realize that when there is a plane accident it is usually horrific, but it almost never happens. I cannot go a day without hearing about someone dying in a car accident.

To be honest, that didn't completely eliminate the mental fear but it decreased it by so much that I can now relax, read, look out the window with no feeling of anxiety and save a whole lot of travel time. No drugs, no artificial means of controlling my emotions, just let my brain use it's logical side instead of it's fearful side.

My logical side also said to me...if you're going to die in a plane related incident you don't have to be in it. It could drop on your head. One way of the other destiny is destiny.

 

[bdoyledimou]

I had ALMOST 1,000,000 Airmiles in 2001 (i would travel from Toronto to Sau Paulo BR, to Hamburg Germany, to Bangkok Thailand and back to Toronto every 12 days (2 days at home then repeat). Then 9/11 happened and that came to an abrupt end.

I was booked for the first flight out of Toronto Pearson Airport to Sao Paulo Brazil after the travel ban -- and i was sitting in the lounge, and i just started shaking. Couldn't get on the plane.


The following was recommended by a friend -- and it worked for me.
Get on a Bus -- city bus, cross country bus, a tour bus. just a bus.

Sit on it. Ride it from one end of the route to the other. Then do it again. and again.

Because a Plane is just a bus. They even look the same inside. The only difference, is a plane is SAFER.

Start thinking the bus is a plane, and a plane is just a bus. positive thinking!!!

 

[AmericangirlinFrance]

I am a very nervous flyer. I fly probably 10-12 times a year, so pretty frequently. I never like it and I always get nervous the day of and VERY nervous before getting on the plane (racing heart, sweaty palms, etc).

I can't take drugs because I usually have to get off my flight when I arrive and be productive the rest of the day - if I'm taking Ativan, Xanax, etc. I would have to lie down and go to sleep!

What helps me the MOST is having someone sitting next to me who is chatty and will talk to me and distract me. I usually fly alone so I look for someone who is also alone but looks friendly. I am normally not a super-extroverted person, but this helps me.

I also watch the flight attendants carefully. Part of my fear, I know, is the loss of control - I don't know what all the sounds and sights mean. I don't know how the plane works. I don't know why we are making a certain turn or movement. Like someone else said, if the FA's are acting normally, and particularly if they are doing food and drink service, everything is probably okay.

I also embarrass myself and if a FA is walking by and something has freaked me out (a noise, a bump, whatever), I will ask them what is going on and if everything is okay. Most FAs are very sweet and will make you feel better. They are used to dealing with people who are afraid of flying. A few have brushed me off, but that helps me.

I still hate turbulence. I know in my mind the plane is a safe form of transportation. I think it comes down to the fact that there is something just UNNATURAL about human beings hurtling through the air 30,000 feet above the ground in a metal can with wings.

Good luck - I absolutely feel your pain. People who do not get scared when they fly don't understand. It is really a horrible feeling. I work hard at getting my feelings under control, but I really could burst into tears every time I am at the airport.

 

[goofy4tink]

I haven't tried any meds on a regular day, so I guess that may be a good idea to see how it works for me. I just have this worry that it would not work appropriately once on the plane when and if panic was to set in (like during turbulence). Thanks everyone for all of the great tips! I can completely relate to one of the previous posts about the plane not being able to pull over and call AAA if there is trouble! That's my biggest issue with flying, you are in the AIR what happens when something goes wrong? You can't just pull the plane over! My husband recorded his takeoff and landing from his Disney trip for me to watch! It is actually pretty helpful, I think I better watch it like 100 more times!
It makes me a little nervous to watch the plane going up!

Okay...you're worrying about things that will probably never happen. Flying is much safer than driving. Things don't often go wrong in the air. The thing is that the few times that something does 'go wrong' it's ever so much more dramatic than a car wreck!!
But, sit and think about how many 'incidents' there have been. No, not that many. Think of how many planes are in the air, every day, flying safely around the world. Think of all those pilots, co-pilots and flight attendants...do you think, for a minute, that they would be doing this job if it were unsafe???
Flying is really just a bus in the air, as someone else mentioned.

Head over to the fear of flying site...it's a very good one. It gives you info on what to expect for various parts of the flight...especially take-off and landing.
Do NOT sit by the window. I remember sitting by the window, many years ago, and looked out at just the 'wrong' time during take-off. We started banking to the left, the side I was on...Oh dear God!!! I thought we were going down!! Now I tend to think of it as an amusement park ride.
If you know what to expect, you will be fine. Stop finding reasons to not fly....get some info, and book that first flight. You can do it!!!!

 

[Jennasis]

The two best flights I have taken WITH my fear were from LAX to Shanghai and then another from Baltimore to Athens. Two very long flights (Shanghai was 16+ hours and Athens was around 10). After a few hours on the plane it really DID feel like I was on a bus and kind of "forgot" I was on a plane. Also I was very distracted on the flights as I was with a large group (both flights were chartered) and responsible for the welfare of the group I was flying with.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I've never cared for flying (and I HATE dealing with the airport). I reached a point when I traveled for business 15-20 times a year & developed a tolerance for flying. But, as my flights became less & less frequent, my tolerance went away again. I flew in December for the first time in ~12 years & hated it.

I don't particularly care for roller coasters, so turbulance & I do not get along. I've seen folks on here saying not to let fear run your lives, but I say life's too short to spend 3 hours being miserable on a plane, only to turn around & be miserable for 3 hours heading home. Additionally, I've had so many bad experiences with delays that ended up making a flight take LONGER than driving to the same destination. If I can get there in a car, I drive. Period. I would also take the train if it were a viable option. If a plane is the only option, that's when I'll suck it up & take the plane.

My wife HATES flying. She's flown a total of 4 times & the last one was an especially bumpy ride (oddly enough, it was a trip to Orlando). She turned down a free trip to Scotland and stayed home rather than fly. So, I guess we're a good match.


On a side note, I think people who ONLY fly are really missing out on the whole point of a vacation. Sure, sometimes time is of the essence. But, it's not all about the destination, it's about the journey. And you're really doing yourselves a great disservice by not at least trying the long car ride every now & then. Sometimes the things you experience along the way are more memorable than the destination

 

[goofy4tink]

I've never cared for flying (and I HATE dealing with the airport). I reached a point when I traveled for business 15-20 times a year & developed a tolerance for flying. But, as my flights became less & less frequent, my tolerance went away again. I flew in December for the first time in ~12 years & hated it.

I don't particularly care for roller coasters, so turbulance & I do not get along. I've seen folks on here saying not to let fear run your lives, but I say life's too short to spend 3 hours being miserable on a plane, only to turn around & be miserable for 3 hours heading home. Additionally, I've had so many bad experiences with delays that ended up making a flight take LONGER than driving to the same destination. If I can get there in a car, I drive. Period. I would also take the train if it were a viable option. If a plane is the only option, that's when I'll suck it up & take the plane.

My wife HATES flying. She's flown a total of 4 times & the last one was an especially bumpy ride (oddly enough, it was a trip to Orlando). She turned down a free trip to Scotland and stayed home rather than fly. So, I guess we're a good match.


On a side note, I think people who ONLY fly are really missing out on the whole point of a vacation. Sure, sometimes time is of the essence. But, it's not all about the destination, it's about the journey. And you're really doing yourselves a great disservice by not at least trying the long car ride every now & then. Sometimes the things you experience along the way are more memorable than the destination

Very true. But there are times when driving just isn't going to cut it. When the drive is 24 hrs and you have only so long for vacation. I mean, seriously...I would love to take two weeks and drive to Florida from central Mass. My dad lives in Florida, my ds lives there, and my brother-in-law and his wife are there as well. So, we have a lot of family to see. But, dh isn't a huge proponant of car travel if it takes longer than 4 hrs!!! Even sitting on a train would be iffy. We would have to get a sleeper car otherwise, no deal.
It would be nice to be able to take 4 days to drive down and make stops along the way...then do the same coming back. but, that's just too long for him to be gone.

I love just driving...I like to just go and see where I end up. Dh?? Not so much. If he makes a wrong turn, you would think it was the end of the world. Dear God...just go to the next light or offramp and make it right!!! Nope, long distance driving isn't for him.

 

[singjenn]

You are definitely not alone in your fear of flying. I am deathly afraid.
The first time we flew I was reeeeeeeally looking forward to it. In was May of 2000.
We were getting married and my mama surprised us with tickets to fly to Disney for our honeymoon. I was thrilled!! I had never flown before. We were going to drive to Winston-Salem and take a flight to Charlotte then head to Disney. It was cheaper that way.
When we got to WS and it was almost time to board they told us there was a delay due to some sort of malfunction. That terrified me!! Plus it was one of the tiny planes. NOT FUN!
I cried the whole way and almost broke my husbands hand from squeezing it. I hate take off but I love landing.

The next time we flew was in 2008. We took a cruise out of Ft Lauderdale. After driving to Miami the year before, we decided to fly. Just booking the tickets on the computer put me into panic mode. I was sweating and scared.

Before we went I called my Dr for some meds. I don't remember exactly what she gave me, but I decided to test it out a week before so I would know how it affected me. Shortly after taking it I couldn't even stand up I was so dizzy.

On the day of the flight I took it like the bottle said, but I think it was too early. It knocked me out while we were waiting for the plane so by the time we left I was terrified again.

On the way home my husband told me when to take it but I took it too late so I was still scared. When we were in mid take off I took another pill and. That one knocked me out for 24 hours. He had to carry me off the plane.

All of the flights I have ever had have only been an hour 30 minutes or an hour and 20 minutes....not long flights.

Soooooooo....I still hate flying. We haven't flown since 2008. I'm trying to get up the nerve to visit DLP next year. That's a long flight but I heard it's not so bad. I hope I can do it!!

 

[Little Flower]

I am beyond terrified of flying but I just try and get on with it and cope.

I've kinda developed a few tactics to cope. I find that im am most scared when Im on my own and have no one to reassure me that the normal actions of the plane don't mean it's stopped working and is going to fall out of the sky so I try to always fly with my husband as he keeps me a bit calmer.

I also always have a quiet word with the flight attendant for our area of the plane and let them know of my phobia and ask them to distract me if it's obvious I'm scared (which it usually is) and also warn me if they know theres gonna be turbulence etc as it freaks me out when the seatbelt lights come on mid flight. They've always been amazing.

I do medicate, I try to take a tranquilliser before I fly. I take a very small dose so I'm not sleepy, just relaxed.

If I could, I just wouldn't ever fly but if I didn't I wouldnt be able to enjoy what comes at the end of the flight and I just couldn't imagine a life without wdw

 

[singjenn]

I am beyond terrified of flying but I just try and get on with it and cope.

I've kinda developed a few tactics to cope. I find that im am most scared when Im on my own and have no one to reassure me that the normal actions of the plane don't mean it's stopped working and is going to fall out of the sky so I try to always fly with my husband as he keeps me a bit calmer.

I also always have a quiet word with the flight attendant for our area of the plane and let them know of my phobia and ask them to distract me if it's obvious I'm scared (which it usually is) and also warn me if they know theres gonna be turbulence etc as it freaks me out when the seatbelt lights come on mid flight. They've always been amazing.

I do medicate, I try to take a tranquilliser before I fly. I take a very small dose so I'm not sleepy, just relaxed.

If I could, I just wouldn't ever fly but if I didn't I wouldnt be able to enjoy what comes at the end of the flight and I just couldn't imagine a life without wdw

Is a tranquilizer the same thing and like ativan or xanax? Because the one I took before did not have a steady effect. If we fly next year I'm gonna need to know what to ask for.