Anyone else really afraid to fly?

[Daisy Dog]

Wondering if there are any other's that are afraid to fly like me? I haven't flown in 12 years and I continue to avoid it! The problem is I miss out on things because of it, but I still can't committ to flying! I have told my doctor and was given ativan, but I still don't do it! My husband refuses to make the drive to WDW (it's about 20-22 hours by car). He just recently took my older children to WDW and I stayed home with my little one : ( It was very disappointing and now my youngest child feels left out and asks daily when we will all be going to see Mickey Mouse! There is nothing about flying that I feel comfortable about from start to finish! Does anyone else feel this way? My husband said he would take the train from NYC to Orlando. So, I am strongly considering that. That would be a long trip as well but he said it's better than being in the car! Any thoughts?? I have to get my little one to meet Mickey Mouse and the gang somehow and it's breaking my heart!

 

[goofy4tink]

I hated flying! I would start obsessing about it a week before I had to get on the plane. I just knew that plane was going down!!! Now, I didn't fly very often...maybe every few years. I flew to Calif for my honeymoon back in '90. Before that, I flew to Chicago once and down to Florida as a youngster...maybe in the early 60's. Then, when my brother moved to Washington state, my mother, dd and I would try to get out once a year...so started flying more often back in '96 or so. Then, along came WDW in '99!! All bets were off...I was still terrified of flying, but I had been hiding it from my dd. I really didn't want her growing up with those same fears. And you know what?? The more I flew, the less anxious I got.
Now, I'm really pretty calm. I still die when we hit turbulence. I figure I'm lucky if I have someone next to me that is really scared..that way I can forget my nerves and try to help them calm down.


IN all reality.....it's all about loss of control. You have to realize that it's really hard for a plane to fall out of the sky. Yeah, I know...it's huge and heavy, so it should fall, but it doesn't. And turbulence??? The plane is built for much more turbulence than it will run into. The pilots actually welcome a bit of bumpiness...it breaks up the flight for them..gets boring if it's all calm for 3+ hrs. Us? Not so much...we like calm.

So....give it a shot. Take-off and landing are the worst for me. So, sit on the aisle..makes it better. and try to sit as far as front as you can. It always bothered me to see all those rows of 'souls' in front of me..hate how the media calls them souls vs passengers if there is a situation.
Then, this is what I tell my 35 y/o dd, who is a basketcase in the air...watch the flight attendents. If they are gong about their business, you have nothing to worry about. One time, she and I had a flight from Ft Lauderdale to RI, but it connected in Tampa. Because the flight was so short, we never got to real cruising altitude..so it was really bumpy. My dd was sitting there, teary, and praying. A nut job to say the least. I informed her that it seemed hard to believe that the FAs would be handing out Cokes if we were in fact, going down!!!

Or that flight home from London with my then 15 y/o dd. I had always told her the same thing about watching the FAs. Well, she leaned over and told me there was some issue..she was terrified, and as white as a sheet. I asked why she thought this. 'Well, look at that FA..she's running down the aisle!!!!!' Ummmm, that plane was huge, and we were almost all the way to the back...I'm pretty sure she is just trying to get up front more quickly!!! Too funny.

 

[honeydiane1953]

I don't particularly love flying but do it for convenience. If I were you I would go to airport and drink a few strong drinks YES then get on plane. Maybe u won't need to drink next time but maybe u will. IF u don't have to fly all the time liquor is worth a try.

 

[Shmily1]

I'm also terrified of flying. Haven't flown since I was three. I'm just lucky that I live close enough to WDW to drive. I just can't get over that there's no where to pull that thing over if it has issues.

 

[goofy4tink]

I don't particularly love flying but do it for convenience. If I were you I would go to airport and drink a few strong drinks YES then get on plane. Maybe u won't need to drink next time but maybe u will. IF u don't have to fly all the time liquor is worth a try.

Not the best idea. You really don't want to be removed from a flight...seen that happen!! You just never know how you're going to react to that 'stress' if drunk.

If you really want to calm down a bit, ask your doctor for something to take prior to leaving for the airport...something that will take the edge off for the flight. Then, bring a few good magazines for the flight. Books are wonderful but they aren't much help for those with flying issues. A magazine doesn't need your constant attention the way a book does.

You are really missing out on a lot of fun with your family. Yes, you can take the train down...but that takes time. I would just try to figure out a way to make the flight tolerable.

 

[rwdavis2]

There are web sites on the subject. Any groups or psychologists in your area? Planes are the safest way to travel.

 

[MamaLema]

I didn't go on a plane for 10 years for the same reason.

However, this year I had a near death experience (not plane related) and I have totally changed my outlook on life.

We're set to fly this Aug. and I am actually feeling excited. I'm also facing all kinds of fears like roller coaster etc. and trying to live life to the fullest.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I'm not particularly fond of flying. DH works in the airline industry for what its worth.

I love to travel though and think of all the places I have been and would have missed seeing if I didn't get on that plane.

 

[DebbieB]

My mom was terrified to fly. She didn't fly for the first time until her 50's. I took her on a trip to Atlantic City. It was tramatic but she made it through. Then we did it a couple more times and she got used to it. She became a pro, we flew many times to Orlando & Las Vegas. I can't say she loved it but she accepted it as the fastest way to go (we used to do 8 hour bus rides to Atlantic City).

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Fear is irrational, you need to confront it, if it includes talking to a someone about it, that is a good idea. I do not believe in medicating something that you can defeat if you confront your fears.

 

[Daisy Dog]

Logically I know it's safe and definitely the quickest way to travel, I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet! I didn't have a "bad" experience when I was younger I just didn't like it. And, as I got older I began to feel more afraid of all aspects of flying. The claustrophobic feel of the whole thing and being in the air, and the bumps, noises, etc... There is nothing about it that appeals to me! I am afraid of getting on, experiencing a bad flight and being "stuck". I think I'd have to rent a car to get back home!! How do you fearful flyers relax enough on vacation knowing you have to get back on a plane to come home? I wish I lived closer to WDW!!

 

[rwdavis2]

Fear is irrational, you need to confront it, if it includes talking to a someone about it, that is a good idea. I do not believe in medicating something that you can defeat if you confront your fears.

I agree. Getting drugged for this level of anxiety is not a good idea. There are programs in many cities that help people get over the fear in stages. It's just a matter of getting used to all the things that go on as you fly.

 

[jeepgirl30]

I love to fly and do a lot for work. However, my DH is terrified of flying and used to get very worked up just thinking about trips involving flights.

A couple years ago I called his doc and got him medication. He took it before the flight and slept the whole way. Now anytime we talk about a trip he just asks "please remember to get me pills" and once i assure him i will all is right. The doctor was very understanding and doesn't ask to see him, just calls it in.

He still hates the idea of flying but is much better knowing he has the meds.

 

[Jennasis]

I used to LOVE to fly. I LOVED airports. Loved seeing all the travelers and wondering what adventure they're about to go on. However, I worked as a cameraman for acable news station and covered (IMO) one too many airline disasters. I lived on Long Island so we got Avianca, TWA Flight 800, Air France...Then 9/11 happened. And suddenly the thought of flying was terrifying to me.

I CAN do it. Medicated to the hilt with Xanax. I usually keep an eye on the Flight Attendants. If they look calm, I figure we're okay. I know planes are the safest mode of travel, but it is all about not being in control.

 

[Daisy Dog]

I agree, it's definitely about not being in control. I have talked to a therapist about fear of flying in the past and she just recommended ativan or xanax! Not sure if that's the right answer, but I know many people do use meds to fly. I'm a little afraid of doing that, as I don't know what to expect. My family and friends just keep telling me, "take the pill and get on the plane"!!! They think I'm ridiculous!! Maybe the train is for me

 

[Too Far From Home]

There is nothing wrong with fear - but you cannot allow your fears to rule your life.

It is okay to be afraid of flying - it is not okay to let that fear control you like this. Stand up to your fear. Make it take a back seat to your dreams.

 

[Daisy Dog]

I totally agree! It's just that first step that is so difficult!

 

[Too Far From Home]

I totally agree! It's just that first step that is so difficult!

Don't focus on the flying - focus on the fear. It is an unwanted guest in your home. Time to show it the door.

 

[pigletgirl]

You definitely don't want to mix alcohol and meds like Ativan! Not good.

My friend did a free online class about fear of flying and it really helped her. Here is the link:
http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/

 

[luvavacation]

I also hate flying. The whole loss of control, and knowing that if there is a problem in the air, the pilot can't just pull the plane over to the median and call AAA!

I fly anyway. I am flying in a couple of weeks for a Godmommy/Goddaughter trip with my bestfriend and our daughters. The bad dreams started happening two nights ago. This is just how it is for me.

I do not medicate. I am afraid of not being coherent if I have to save my children or myself. I recently asked about what type of alcohol will relax a person, thinking maybe I should drink a glass of wine or something at the airport. When I woke up from my bad dream two nights ago, I drank a glass of wine to "calm the nerves". Apparently, wine doesn't work for me, either!

My way of getting at least some semblance of calmness is to sit in the first few rows, on the aisle. I don't care what it costs for that seat, I will pay extra, I just need to be able to see the flight attendants! I also look at Seatguru.com to see where the flight attendants sit, and make sure I choose seats on the opposite side. Makes no sense to pay extra for a front aisle seat if I can't see the flight attendants!

As I type this, my stomach is in knots. This is how easily I get nervous about flying. However, I will do it anyway. I may be a wreck for weeks leading up to the trip, I may be a wreck on the plane, but once we land, I am thrilled to be at my destination!

As to worries about the return trip, I just try to stay busy and not think about it. I am yet to be successful, but the worry has never gotten in the way of a fun vacation. Sometimes, I actually even want to get on the plane to go home, because I miss my pets and my bed!

Good luck. I am sure, as a parent, you put aside your own desires many a time to bring joy to your own children. This is going to be one of those times you are going to ignore your fears to bring that smile to your little ones! You can do it!