Anyone else live in a "No cheating zone"?

[LuvOrlando]

Anyone else out there manage to find a marriage that doesn't involve cheating or refuse to get married unless monogamy is part of the deal?

I've been with my DH for 20 years (married 17) and, believe it or not, we've managed to not destroy each other in that time. When we got married I made it absolutely clear that if he ever stepped out he's be alone because for me, it's a deal breaker. DH feels the same way. We're best friends and I can't imagine either of us being willing to sacrifice our partnership for something so worthless as an affair not to mention the whole reality that we entered into a covenant when we said "I do". Forsaking all others was/is sort of the point, at least for us.

So the point of this thread is to be anti-depressing, at least for me. Reading about the love lives of others on the DIS has been a bit depressing lately ( and hearing about real life stuff too, I know 3 couples getting divorced) and I just wanted to check if I'm really in such a short number or do people like me just have less to say? I mean a thread about laughing until I cried with my DH in bed watching "The Soup", sitting on the lawn with my DH's head in my lap talking about where we'll live when we retire and sitting quietly on the back swing with Mojito cracking up because my DH is a great storyteller isn't exactly going to pull in the high thread count numbers is it?

Anyone else?

 

[AKL_Megs]

My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years (married 1 year), but I know I could never in a MILLION years cheat on him, and I just really could not see him ever cheating on me. We just aren't that kind of people. While "sex" is of course an important part of a relationship, REAL INTIMACY is much more important and fullfilling.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I'm with you!

I don't think anyone wants to read about how I love my DH so much because he always puts True Blood on the DVR and waits to watch it with me.
Or how he is such a good dad. He's the stay at home parent and DD started GS camp today. He misses her already and she's been gone for 2 hours (it's day camp only).
There are obviously other reasons but the little things always remind me of why he's a keeper.

I'm with you. That's not anything to get the thread count up. Which is why I posted on yours. Maybe you can start a trend.

 

[barkley]

dh and i have been together 22 years (20th anniversary next spring) and for us it's a deal breaker as well.

 

[Minnesota!]

DH and I have been together for 17 years...married for 10. We got together shortly after I turned 15.

Anyway, during our first couple years together, we both had instances of cheating on each other. We still found our way.

Cheating isn't a deal breaker for me. I don't know why, but it just isn't. But, not since we were about 17/18 have I even given it a thought (either to me doing it, or him cheating on me).

If it were to happen, I would deal with it then. I am not naive enough to think it could never happen....but I don't fret about it, and I know it wouldn't destroy me/my marriage. If DH decided to permanently end our marriage to be with someone else...so be it. His choice. I am of the mindset that every step in life is what is supposed to happen. It all leads to our destiny..

But, I do love Dh with all my heart. He knows me better than anyone. I don't want flowers, jewelry, etc. He knows all he has to do is pick up a Coke for me once in a while, or call at the right time, or whatever. And I do love that he is my WDW partner I don't know who loves it more...me, him, or the kids. He gets giddy at the mention of it!

 

[golfgal]

When we were doing our pre-cana classes with the Priest the question of infidelity came up and we both said that the marriage would be over if that happened. The priest tried to talk to us about the marriage "contract" to which we both said that the contract would be null already anyway. We have been married for over 20 years and no issues so far.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I'll add some more...

To me, there is nothing like a long, summer evening walk after dark with my husband. Or a midnight bikeride, when we are the only people out.

There is nothing like my husband surprising me with a McDonalds Breakfast Burrito (my FAVE!) in bed when he comes home from work in the morning. Better yet, there is nothing better than those couple of hours after he gets home and before I get up when we cuddle in bed.

Vacations with my husband? Nothing better in this WORLD.

My husband manning the grill, cooking us up something good to eat in our backyard with a drink, followed by a bonfire. Nothing like it.

 

[EdiePA]

Well, hey, good luck with that. Up until my 21st year of marriage, I probably would have written the same thing. Then, I found out that my now ex was cheating. AND when confronted, he chose her over his family.

No marriage is immune. We were the "poster child" couple at our church, with two great sons, and I was the cliche wife -- I knew nothing until I absolutely found it underneath my nose.

So, like I said, good luck
Edie

 

[LuvOrlando]

I like it! You guys are making me smile

 

[AristocatFan]

DH and I have been together 25 years, since we were 17yrs old. Cheating is the one thing we could never do to our children. The best thing we can do for our kids is to love and respect one another.

 

[Luvchefmic]

We've certainly had our ups and downs, how can you not when experiencing life together? We've been together since 1983 married 1986 had a brief break up midway but both came to our senses. Do we make each other crazy (in good ways & bad) absolutely. Cheating is never an option for either of us. That would be the end...period.

Reading all the heartbreak just makes me count my blessings.

 

[skater]

DH and I have been married for 23 years and he's truly the biggest blessing of my life. Even when we struggled to have children, I knew that if we didn't have kids, that still I would be more blessed than many people just to have him in my life. My husband isn't perfect, but we were meant for each other. He puts up with my many imperfections and loves me anyway. I thank God almost every day for the blessing of our marriage because we're too imperfect to get the credit!

 

[rockydek]

34 this year...I would be devasted!
My 31 year old son just married 07/10..I hope he is as happy as we are.

 

[diznygirl]

When we were doing our pre-cana classes with the Priest the question of infidelity came up and we both said that the marriage would be over if that happened. The priest tried to talk to us about the marriage "contract" to which we both said that the contract would be null already anyway. We have been married for over 20 years and no issues so far.

We had the same experience. The priest talked to us about forgiveness, yadda yadda. But DH and I figured we were on the same page and that's what mattered.

 

[RUDisney]

I believe that my DH and I were fated to be together. We met in college but he never got up enough courage to ask me out. I flirted with him, but thought he was dating the girl he came into class with. She turned out to be his cousin.

After college, I was working in a bank and left to go to another bank. Shortly after I left that bank, he started working in the same department that I was in. When I came back to visit the department secretary one day, she wasn't in and I left my card for her to call me. He saw it and remembered who I was. He knew he was going to be working with me since he'd just given his 2 weeks notice. It took him a year to get the courage to ask me out. That was 1990. We were married in 1994.

We are in sync about so many things, but different in ways that matter. I am gregarious and he is shy. He keeps a cool head when I would explode. Our values are the same and our goals in life are the same. He's taught me to not be afraid to spend money. I've taught him how to save.

Cheating and abuse are the two deal breakers for me. I'm confident that I don't have to worry about either of these things. Divorce is not an option for us outside of those two things. Anything else can be worked out.

 

[robinb]

I don't understand the need for a brag thread like this when I have recently read so much heartache on the DIS lately. It really makes me think "Good for you! Do you want a cookie?" Honestly, it's people like Minnesota! who have experienced setbacks and made their relationship work anyway that I admire the most. Not lucky schlubs like us who are in easier relationships.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

What a strange question. Of course my relationship is monogamous.

 

[Planogirl]

I would guess that most relationships are meant to be monogamous so what's the point here?

 

[RitaE]

I have to agree with Robin. I've been married over a couple of decades myself and as far as I know there haven't been any affairs - but I'm not sure that makes our "love" anymore valid than all those who have been through marital disasters. Don't 99.5% of marriages start out with plans of it being a forever Happily Ever After just you and me Babe? (.5% subtracted for our local swingers). I think that nearly everybody when they get married can't imagine an affair. But yet affairs do occur.

My husband and I have our ups and downs just like every marriage. We're both awfully stubborn though.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Very early in our marriage, my wife once wrote one of my English papers for me while I was working nights in a video store.

It was risky, because it was for a very strict professor. I don't think the professor knew, though. But my wife's paper got an A and mine got an A-.