Anyone else live in a "No cheating zone"?

[Carly_Roach]

What if he refused to give the woman up and still wanted to be married to you?

Then I'll bridge that cross if/when I come to it.

 

[NC State]

We've certainly had our ups and downs, how can you not when experiencing life together? We've been together since 1983 married 1986 had a brief break up midway but both came to our senses. Do we make each other crazy (in good ways & bad) absolutely. Cheating is never an option for either of us. That would be the end...period.

Reading all the heartbreak just makes me count my blessings.

I agree, we were a blind date Oct '80 dated three years got married Sept '83. He's my best friend and I'm so glad I have him. I don't think neither of us could cheat period. We're both so in love and we have passion for Disney that mades our relationship that more fun! I enjoy watching him shave in the mornings, love to watch him get into a TV show, I enjoy watching him cook on the grill when he doesn't know I'm watching, I enjoy watching him while he's reading a book and wonder what he's thinking. I just enjoy our time together and couldn't see my life without him.

I can't read the threads about cheating spouses or an unhappy a marriage. Life is short why live it unhappy?

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Actually, considering that the rest of the world isn't as puritanical as the US I'd have to say that you are wrong.

Anyway, I wouldn't just up and throw out my best friend for a momentary lapse in judgment. I won't even joke about that. I value our friendship, our partnership and our love way too much for that. YMMV, though.

I meant most people in the US, sorry.

And I don't call having sex outside of a relationship a momentary lapse in judgment. That's like saying murdering someone is a momentary lapse in judgment.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

We've been married for about 17 years. We hope to stay that way forever. I believe that I would never cheat on my wife and vice versa, but never is a long time and, as a human, I can't guarantee that I could resist every temptation in every circumstance.

If my wife cheated on me, I'd like to think that I could forgive her - assuming, of course, that she was remorseful and we both believed it wouldn't happen again. She's so important to me that I would try to work through any problems that we might face, even infidelity.

She has a simpler view. She says that she would definitely forgive me and that she would take the kids to visit my grave every week.

Actually, considering that the rest of the world isn't as puritanical about sex as the US is, I'd have to say that you are wrong.

There are countries in which women are stoned to death for the crime of being raped. The US is "puritanical" relative to most of Europe, but I think the US is actually more "liberated" than the majority of the world.

 

[DisneySaver28]

She has a simpler view. She says that she would definitely forgive me and that she would take the kids to visit my grave every week.

 

[MAKmom]

Anyone else out there manage to find a marriage that doesn't involve cheating or refuse to get married unless monogamy is part of the deal?

I've been with my DH for 20 years (married 17) and, believe it or not, we've managed to not destroy each other in that time. When we got married I made it absolutely clear that if he ever stepped out he's be alone because for me, it's a deal breaker. DH feels the same way. We're best friends and I can't imagine either of us being willing to sacrifice our partnership for something so worthless as an affair not to mention the whole reality that we entered into a covenant when we said "I do". Forsaking all others was/is sort of the point, at least for us.

So the point of this thread is to be anti-depressing, at least for me. Reading about the love lives of others on the DIS has been a bit depressing lately ( and hearing about real life stuff too, I know 3 couples getting divorced) and I just wanted to check if I'm really in such a short number or do people like me just have less to say? I mean a thread about laughing until I cried with my DH in bed watching "The Soup", sitting on the lawn with my DH's head in my lap talking about where we'll live when we retire and sitting quietly on the back swing with Mojito cracking up because my DH is a great storyteller isn't exactly going to pull in the high thread count numbers is it?

Anyone else?

Yes we are the same as you...17 year married & 20 years togather. We also are on a Mojito kick & do not understand cheating.

 

[LuvOrlando]

So many good stories here, I love hearing them and I'm glad others out there do too! I love real life love stories!

(PS- sorry for the gate crashers )

 

[Silent1CB]

22 yrs married. And as far as I know, no cheating has gone on from either side.

 

[tonilea]

When we decided to get married, I told DH there were three things I would not tolerate:
1. infidelity
2. abuse
3. I would not have a husband who was a "go get 'er" - takes her to work and goes and gets her. lol

DH's first marriage was very brief - they live together six weeks. It ended because she had a boyfriend, so he knows what it feels like to be cheated on. Also, he feels very stongly that cheating isn't just cheating on your spouse, but cheating on your family. I don't think he would ever betray us like that.

I know that people are often blindsided by cheating, but I would know - DH would tell me, it would eat him up until he confessed.

Very early in our marriage he went with his BIL to a car show. It was something the did every year. While we were dating he also told me that they went to a strip club and had a few beers. After the trip, he acted really odd for a few days.

After work one day, he pulled over and said, "I have something I have to tell you." My heart dropped. He told me they had gone to a strip club after the car show. I said, "I know." DH's jaw dropped. He asked if I was mad. "Did you do anything I should be mad about?" "Well, no. But I went to a strip club!" "I know." "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" "You told me you guys went to the club when you went to the car show." Then he was mad. He said the "guilt" over his perceived crime had been eating him up for days and I knew all along. Heck, I knew before they went. If it had been an issue, I would have said something.

 

[Acklander]

I meant most people in the US, sorry.

And I don't call having sex outside of a relationship a momentary lapse in judgment. That's like saying murdering someone is a momentary lapse in judgment.

well, sometimes murder is a momentary lapse of judgement. I know someone who is currently in jail for killing the man who raped his young daughter. He's very upfront about the fact that it was poor judgement to kill the man, and that it was a spur of the moment thing done in the heat of anger. I don't agree with his decision to have killed the man, but I can understand it.

Some people see life in black and white, and others see the gray area. Next year I'll be passing a pretty big milestone in my marriage - it's the time when I would have spent more of my life with my partner than without him. After all these years together and all we've been through I'd like to think that I'd look to the gray area if he had a lapse in judgement and not just wash my hands of him. I'd hope I'm a bigger person than that.

 

[~disneydiva~]

Very early in our marriage he went with his BIL to a car show. It was something the did every year. While we were dating he also told me that they went to a strip club and had a few beers. After the trip, he acted really odd for a few days.

After work one day, he pulled over and said, "I have something I have to tell you." My heart dropped. He told me they had gone to a strip club after the car show. I said, "I know." DH's jaw dropped. He asked if I was mad. "Did you do anything I should be mad about?" "Well, no. But I went to a strip club!" "I know." "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" "You told me you guys went to the club when you went to the car show." Then he was mad. He said the "guilt" over his perceived crime had been eating him up for days and I knew all along. Heck, I knew before they went. If it had been an issue, I would have said something.

 

[LMDisneygirl]

14 Years happily married (in a few weeks) and going strong here! We honeymooned at Disney in '96 and enjoy being Disboarders here together. Maybe that's what keeps us so happy!

 

[BoogasMom]

I don't understand the need for a brag thread like this when I have recently read so much heartache on the DIS lately. It really makes me think "Good for you! Do you want a cookie?" Honestly, it's people like Minnesota! who have experienced setbacks and made their relationship work anyway that I admire the most. Not lucky schlubs like us who are in easier relationships.

I think that's just the point of this thread in the first place; Not to get a cookie but to share heartwarming and uplifting stories with each other. Personally, I no longer watch the evening news anymore. The depressing news being pounded into my head every day started to "get to me". Sometimes it's just nice to hear the good things about people and their marriages. Not everyone's marriage involves the heartache that we have read about on the DIS lately, so why shouldn't we who have the true blessing of a good spouse have the chance to share our stories too? It doesn't mean we don't have empathy for those who are in bad relationships....

 

[NC State]

We honeymooned at Disney in '96 and enjoy being Disboarders here together. Maybe that's what keeps us so happy!

I'm a believer for sure.

 

[BoogasMom]

I'm sorry, but just because some people have been cheated on does not make all men cheaters.

Amen!!!!!!! That's like saying all women are submissive!!!

 

[brerrabbit]

If either person in a marraige is cheating then in my estimation the relationship is all but over. Cheating is the inevitable outcome of problems in the relationship. I think that people don't always work hard enough on their problems at the beginning. In otherwords not treating the symptoms of the flu until it's full blown and your sicker than a dog. A relationship takes work, and you have to do things you might not like to do for the benifit of the relationship. In otherwords you cannot have seperate lives, seperate friends, seperate activities and seperate vacations. You have to work to make a relationship last. If either person is unhappy and cannot fixed it then they start looking for happiness outside the relationship. I always listen intently to people who say things like, "oh my husband woould never let me do that" or "my wife let me out of the house for that". That is the inflexibility that leads to problems. Couples need quality time together, and quality time alone with friends and by themselves to feel complete. A lack of this freedom leads to the reasons people cheat and inevitably divorce.

With that said I have been with my wife 32 years and married for 28 as of August 28 of this year. We wnt on our first date on February 11th, 1978 and saw Saturday Night Fever and had pepporoni pizza at Pizza Hut. I can remember the date and what we did and my wife can't. Maybe that's why wer'e still together. She thinks I am a romantic.

 

[Luvchefmic]

If either person in a marraige is cheating then in my estimation the relationship is all but over. Cheating is the inevitable outcome of problems in the relationship. I think that people don't always work hard enough on their problems at the beginning. In otherwords not treating the symptoms of the flu until it's full blown and your sicker than a dog. A relationship takes work, and you have to do things you might not like to do for the benifit of the relationship. In otherwords you cannot have seperate lives, seperate friends, seperate activities and seperate vacations. You have to work to make a relationship last. If either person is unhappy and cannot fixed it then they start looking for happiness outside the relationship. I always listen intently to people who say things like, "oh my husband woould never let me do that" or "my wife let me out of the house for that". That is the inflexibility that leads to problems. Couples need quality time together, and quality time alone with friends and by themselves to feel complete. A lack of this freedom leads to the reasons people cheat and inevitably divorce.

With that said I have been with my wife 32 years and married for 28 as of August 28 of this year. We wnt on our first date on February 11th, 1978 and saw Saturday Night Fever and had pepporoni pizza at Pizza Hut. I can remember the date and what we did and my wife can't. Maybe that's why wer'e still together. She thinks I am a romantic.

Agree that marriage is working together...and hard work sometimes too but (bolded the part of your post this I do not agree with). Each marriage knows what works for them. I have seperate friends and interests and so does DH. I also have taken WDW trips without him many many times when we didn't live here. Quality time, same black & white beliefs moral & religious, that's the glue that keeps us together....that and after all these years and all our little quirks no one else would have us and we know it Congrats on your upcoming anniversary!

 

[indimom]

15 years here and still going strong and very happy.
I was sure of him when I married him and I'm more sure of him today.
I don't want a cookie.

Have we had bad days? Sure, who hasn't??
But he cares when I cry.
I care when he's quiet.
He rubs my head at night so I can sleep.
I make him sauerkraut for dinner.
We love sci fi movies, especially the cheesy b-rate ones.
He jokes about making "Martha Stewart" his second wife.
I remind him that Sean Connery will always be hot.
He is THE BEST at surprises!
I will only keep secrets when I'm dead.
He hates when 'certain people' wear their shoes in the house or wash the empty cup he wasn't done with??
I'm frustrated with 'certain people' who can shoot a three-pointer, but can't get their underwear in the hamper??
He tags in when I'm losing my patience with DD.
I step up when he expects too much from DS.
He thinks my "snort" is adorable.
It's cute that he thinks he doesn't snore.
Such is life... I hope everyone trully loves at least once in their life.

 

[ORMom2Four]

I think that's just the point of this thread in the first place; Not to get a cookie but to share heartwarming and uplifting stories with each other. Personally, I no longer watch the evening news anymore. The depressing news being pounded into my head every day started to "get to me". Sometimes it's just nice to hear the good things about people and their marriages. Not everyone's marriage involves the heartache that we have read about on the DIS lately, so why shouldn't we who have the true blessing of a good spouse have the chance to share our stories too? It doesn't mean we don't have empathy for those who are in bad relationships....

I completely agree. Dh and I have been together since we were 14 & 16. Married for almost 20 years. Never "been" with anyone else (either of us). If either of us were to stray, it would be the end of the marriage. Period.

Not that our marriage isn't without problems and rocky areas. We have good times and rough times, I believe every marriage does. It reminds me of a wavy line. Sometimes things are really, really good, and then it starts to slip down to a low, but it does go back up to good again. It is very important to stay faithful during those bad times or you will not be able to through to the good times ahead.

 

[Luvchefmic]

15 years here and still going strong and very happy.
I was sure of him when I married him and I'm more sure of him today.
I don't want a cookie.

Have we had bad days? Sure, who hasn't??
But he cares when I cry.
I care when he's quiet.
He rubs my head at night so I can sleep.
I make him sauerkraut for dinner.
We love sci fi movies, especially the cheesy b-rate ones.
He jokes about making "Martha Stewart" his second wife.
I remind him that Sean Connery will always be hot.
He is THE BEST at surprises!
I will only keep secrets when I'm dead.
He hates when 'certain people' wear their shoes in the house or wash the empty cup he wasn't done with??
I'm frustrated with 'certain people' who can shoot a three-pointer, but can't get their underwear in the hamper??
He tags in when I'm losing my patience with DD.
I step up when he expects too much from DS.
He thinks my "snort" is adorable.
It's cute that he thinks he doesn't snore.
Such is life... I hope everyone trully loves at least once in their life.

LOVE it ! Well said ! oh go ahead have a cookie anyway