Anyone else have to buy kids' gifts? **update pg 5

[rnorwo1]

My children have always gone to Mother's-day-out programs where the kids all exchanged gifts, although it was never policy, it's just simply what everyone did. I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to be the only one not participating, but I am pretty strict about not spending too much to keep up with the Jones' either. This year, I am doing Christmas themed rice krispy treats... google it, and you'll see all sorts of designs (they're pretty expensive to buy), just use a cookie cutter and pipe on icing, very very easy. You can get the clear Wilton treat bags (at Michaels, Hobby Lobby, or the Wilton section at Walmart) to put them in and tie them with a cute ribbon. They look very professional, the kids love how neat they look, and most moms are pretty impressed, and they are extremely inexpensive. You can do the same thing with cookie-bouquet type cookies, most kids go crazy for this stuff.

One year, a mom made different shaped soaps (snowmen, santa hats, etc) and my then 3 year old loved them! I would also stay away from board games... most kids already have them, so you don't want to throw your money away, even if it's $1-3.

I know I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to these other moms unless I knew them well enough (in which case I would definitely talk to them) but I would feel comfortable talking to the sitter/teacher and asking them to make a policy... one year one of my son's (he was 4 then) teacher asked everyone to bring only one gift (less than $10) for their own child, and that way everyone had one gift to open and they got something they really liked, rather than just a bunch of stuff they may not like and certainly do not need. You can make the argument that when kids receive too much stuff, they really cannot appreciate any of it, it becomes more about the unwrapping than the enjoyment.

Anyway, good luck with your choice... but I would definitely stick to what is right for your family and make peace with that, try not to worry about the others.

 

[MinnieLove]

Just say no! Talk to your day care provider and teacher - ask for there support and help to communicate with other parents. Lets be honest these gifts are not from the children, they place a burden on the parents! Suggest a gift exchange at the most (girls bring in a $3 gift for a girl..)

And what are the kids learning from this. And who really needs more knick knacky toys? More junk in your house, something to throw away in a month. If a few individuals truely feel a need to spend $100 on classmates, suggest a donation to the local food bank or zoo in the classes honor.

And you should be proud of yourself for taking a stand to not spoil your child or the classmates!

 

[SoonerSarah]

I'm very much in favor of giving to those in need. I'd much rather find out that DH's cousins, instead of spending $50 for gifts on my girls, donated toys or clothes to someone in need. We are seriously poor in comparison to them, and I do appreciate their generosity, but my girls have more than too much.

This is something I would say no to. If they wanted me to donate stuff for those in need, I would be more than willing, and happy to do so. But giving a ton of gifts to a bunch of little kids that probably could care less because they are given a bunch more by family members?

I'm really not one for conflict, but I'm certainly not going to create a hardship for my family to buy a bunch of gifts for little kids that my kids play with. I have enough family and friends to purchase for that from November to January I have 25 people to purchase a Christmas and Birthday present for, that is only including our children, parents, siblings, one niece and one set of grandparents. If I only spend $30 per present, that alone is $750. DH and I have gone without presents, and we usually don't get our girls too many, but I do spend more than $30 on them. In addition to traveling to relatives, something like this would be a major hardship for my family. Not to mention that I just don't see the point.

 

[dreamin_disney]

I'd hate to be in your shoes. I say go to the dollar store and buy a lil something there or coloring book and crayons. Whatever you buy cheap or expensive will end up on the floor or trash anyways.

Or buy x-mas lunch bags and fill with juice and cookies or rice crispy bar, a pencil, lil bottle of bubbles even. Costco has the bulk items

keep it simple and dont stress out!

$50 for the sitter-wow! Give her $20 - $25 and tell her sorry you had to cut back because of the economy and all the gifts you had to buy for the kids. Shoot I'd even buy her just a gift under $20 on sale and tell hert he same thing. maybe she'll get the hint.

I also think you should cut back on the other teacher and aides and tell them the same thing tought ecomony and to much money having to spend on the gifts.

I think if you look at it this way gifts for school/daycare kids or your own kids . it will help you make your decision. Good Luck

 

[kirstenb1]

wow.
i work in a preschool/daycare. we set up an xmas tree and send home a note that we are collecting gifts for a local non-profit that passes out gifts to families in need. participation is not mandatory, we don't keep track. some kids bring in 1 gift (wrapped & marked boy or girl), others bring in a gift for a boy and a gift for a boy, and there are prob. a few families that can't participate, but that's fine, it's all up to the families.


in november, we read the kids Stone Soup, put a box in the foyer and collect cans of soup.


for our fall festival, xmas party, valentine's day, easter, we have a small celebration in class and usually several kids bring in small treats/goodies that we send home. but it's not something the teachers organize, it's not mandatory, it's just whatever the parents want to do.

i'd talk w/ her teacher, specifically the daycare one. suggest doing a giving tree rather than gift exchange. good luck. i know how difficult it is when you feel strong-armed into doing what others consider "Normal" or "What you Do". please don't do something you're uncomfortable with. they aren't going to kick your daughter out, and it sounds like you aren't friends/close with these people anyway. good luck

Great suggestions! This is a great way to show children we should help those less fortunate. Take the focus off of gift-giving within the class, and put the focus on helping others.

 

[Mrs D]

Oh, I would be beside myself if in your shoes. I ONLY buy for our families and the children we pick from the Angel Tree at church. I'm already up in arms about all the birthday parties that my PRE-SCHOOL kids are invited to (DD received an invitation on the first day of school - we didn't even know the girl)!

Me, I'd be pulling the economy card and asking if donations could be collected to go to the local food/clothing pantry, Toys for Tots or a local program like an Angel Tree (orphaned children). At least that way it goes to help others AND it introduces helping others less fortunate.

On the thought of a homemade gift our Pre-K teacher have out Flubber instead of candy for Halloween. She makes it and the kids it and so do I because it's not messy! You can package it in a sandwich baggie (maybe find the Christmas ones) or in tiny glad ware containers (or baby food containers if you have them).

Here's the recipe.

 

[StitchBuddy]

I am a teacher and I do not expect a gift of any sort. But, I do like GC's and any amount is appreciated. I don't drink coffee, but often get Starbuck GC anywhere from $5-$25, and I use them to treat my daughter to hot chocolate, which is something I wouldn't normally do. Just saying, don't sweat what you give them, they should appreciate anything. I still have a very used Christmas ornament that hangs on my tree each year that a little girl gave me over 14 years. She couldn't afford to buy me anything, but knew the other children would be bringing gifts. I still think of her each time I hang it on my tree. Now ask me what the other students gave me that year???? I couldn't tell you, but it came from her heart and that's what still makes it so special.

 

[monorailsilver]

That just stinks!

I like the idea of homemade play doh. I just saw someone on another board of mine made gingerbread smelling play doh.

How about dipping pretzel rods in chocolate & coat them in sprinkles. Give 2 to a kid or a few to a kid. A whole bag of pretzle rods is about $3, chocolate to melt $4ish & sprinkles $5ish. Or dip some spoons in chocolate so they can stir thier milk with those spoons.

If you feel the need to buy something, for the girls, go to Claires. They usually have a buy 2 get 1 free deal. You can get each girl a bracelet & the one by me has a sale rack that we find some stuff on like nail polish.

It does bite though!

 

[tinkercat]

I stay away from board games. I don't think there is a single 4 year old out there who doesn't have candyland, chutes and ladders, and hi ho cherrio. My twins were given these games in preschool by a classmate - guess the parents didn't know they were the youngest of 5!

I guess my kids must be hard on their games. LOL My 4 year old (who is the 3rd of 4 children) doesn't currently have any of those games. Yes, her older siblings had them, but with time and play pieces have been lost, etc. I know she'd love to get one of these games in a gift swap...and if she ended up getting a duplicate we'd donate it to Toys for Tots. It's the thought that counts, right?

 

[MickeyHereWeCome!]

WOW!!!

I haven't read all of the replies, so this has probably been mentioned. In my daycare, I have the children exchange names, with a $10 limit. This way, the kids get to enjoy picking out something special and participating in an exchange. They love it, and one gift is plenty! I also get them each something, so they have two gifts to open that day.

Could you suggest something like that? I just honestly have never heard of a daycare expecting you to buy for each child! Nor have I in a school. I know many people do make up those goody bags. I usually make reindeer candy canes. But we don't buy anything big for the kids. We always get something for the teachers.

 

[pigletto]

I don't mean your own. I mean the kids at your child's daycare/school.

DD3 goes to a half-day enrichment school. There are 12 kids in her class, all 3 years old, and 2 teachers. Then for the rest of the day she goes to a home sitter. There are about 5 3-year olds and after school ends, 6 or 7 older kids show for a little bit. So there are another 12 or so kids there (plus 3 adults).

I have to buy gifts for all these kids. At her school I can get away with buying a small goody bag with random toys/candy. But usually once you buy bags and fillers, you've spent $30. Plus something for the teachers.

At the sitter, they go all out. Santa shows up and the sitter has several toys for each child and the kids exchange with one another. Last year I gave a 3-pack of Play-doh (decent gift I thought ) and I think I was the cheapie of the bunch. DD left with Barbies, dolls, elaborate hairbows, etc. I just don't think I can spend $5-10 for each child!

Its looking like $200 just for this group - not including my own gift expense at home.

So I have to find inexpensive, but substantial gifts for the sitter group. I was thinking of buying them all a board game. Target has them on BF for $4 each. But I don't really want to do BF. Plus Target is 70 mins away from me.

This is really stressing me out!

Any ideas? When will they let us knoww online BF deals?

That is nutty. I haven't read the rest of the responses so forgive me as I am sure I am repeating, but wow!
I do home daycare. I buy a small (5 to 10 dollar) gift for each of daycare kids. They in turn are told to NOT buy me or my kids something. I do it because I appreciate them and the income it provides for my family. They are great kids. However, they have family, their own Christmas traditions and celebrations and aside from the crafts and Christmasy things we do for fun, that's it. What a burden to place on young famalies to expect all of that extra stuff.

I don't have any real advice, as I understand you really can't be the only family to say no. But I think if your provider wants to do all that extra, well that's great for her but she shouldn't be expecting every family to be reaching into their own pockets as well. Just my opinion.

 

[pigletto]

WOW!!!

I haven't read all of the replies, so this has probably been mentioned. In my daycare, I have the children exchange names, with a $10 limit. This way, the kids get to enjoy picking out something special and participating in an exchange. They love it, and one gift is plenty! I also get them each something, so they have two gifts to open that day.

Could you suggest something like that? I just honestly have never heard of a daycare expecting you to buy for each child! Nor have I in a school. I know many people do make up those goody bags. I usually make reindeer candy canes. But we don't buy anything big for the kids. We always get something for the teachers.

I like this idea too! One gift so everyone has some fun, but it isn't a huge expense to each family.:

 

[ICF]

Never heard of buying gifts for all the kids in a daycare class.

My kids were in daycare for years, and they always did a book exchange (not to exceed $5!)

There is no way, I'd be buying for all those kids.

 

[PaulaSue]

OP, That is crazy!

I would make something like cookies or snowman soup and leave it at that.

 

[MissAndrea]

I still have a very used Christmas ornament that hangs on my tree each year that a little girl gave me over 14 years. She couldn't afford to buy me anything, but knew the other children would be bringing gifts. I still think of her each time I hang it on my tree. Now ask me what the other students gave me that year???? I couldn't tell you, but it came from her heart and that's what still makes it so special.

This brought tears to my eyes!!! That is so sweet!

OP- WOW!!!! That is CRAZY!!! Everyone has given some great suggestions. I'm anxious to hear how it turns out. Let us all know what you ended up doing!

 

[Aliceacc]

I second the book exchange.

Everyone buys one of the $3 softcover books, wraps it, and has an exchange.

They still get a Christmas gift, it's educational, and everyone spends $3.

For the teachers: normally I get everyone a fleece throw for under $10. But this year both the elementary teachers have alrealdy had my kids at least once. So I hit Kohls and got some adorable Christmas night lights (This http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/fur...nightlights/PRD~680538/Snowman+NightLight.jsp is one of the series) for $8.99/

 

[Madison'smommy]

I don't mean your own. I mean the kids at your child's daycare/school.

DD3 goes to a half-day enrichment school. There are 12 kids in her class, all 3 years old, and 2 teachers. Then for the rest of the day she goes to a home sitter. There are about 5 3-year olds and after school ends, 6 or 7 older kids show for a little bit. So there are another 12 or so kids there (plus 3 adults).

I have to buy gifts for all these kids. At her school I can get away with buying a small goody bag with random toys/candy. But usually once you buy bags and fillers, you've spent $30. Plus something for the teachers.

At the sitter, they go all out. Santa shows up and the sitter has several toys for each child and the kids exchange with one another. Last year I gave a 3-pack of Play-doh (decent gift I thought ) and I think I was the cheapie of the bunch. DD left with Barbies, dolls, elaborate hairbows, etc. I just don't think I can spend $5-10 for each child!

Its looking like $200 just for this group - not including my own gift expense at home.

So I have to find inexpensive, but substantial gifts for the sitter group. I was thinking of buying them all a board game. Target has them on BF for $4 each. But I don't really want to do BF. Plus Target is 70 mins away from me.

This is really stressing me out!

Any ideas? When will they let us knoww online BF deals?

For the preschool kids, I would g oto the dollar store and buy one of the puzzles or books and wrap it in paper with a bow. Each child would get that. I am not sure about the daycare kids. You could do something similar for the smaller kids and maybe the older ones, make little bag with some of your leftover candy and maybe a gift card for like McDOnalds... like $5. I have always done small bags for my DD's preschool class. I usually spend under $10 at the dollar tree, they turn out cute. This year she is in Kindergarten, and I will do bags again. I bought a bunch of extra boxes of crayons during back to school sales, so will include that and a few other small items.

 

[maggiew]

I like many of the suggestions here. Another is to have each kid bring in ONE gift that is then donated to toys for tots. Maybe the daycare teacher can ask one of the Marines to come in (in uniform) and collect the gifts - just like the pictures you see in the advertisement. The kids would probably really enjoy that.

For the day care teacher, maybe you can get her one thing for the classroom instead of a $50 gift card. Like maybe a DVD or a game or book that they don't have. Or buy her a holiday bread from Panera and have your child "write" a note to her.

If you MUST do the gift thing, why not get cute Christmas socks for the girls. (My DD's girl scout troup had a Christmas sock exchange each year.) I see them at either Kmart or Kohls for $1 on sale. They also have those magic gloves for .99. Or go to the Dollar store and get something. They have books, coloring books, etc. You can find something there that would fit everyone. Who cares if its less than the other kids.

Maggie

P.S. Don't buy coworker gifts. You can save money there too!

 

[RadioFanatic]

Have you ever looked at artscow.com? I did ornaments for $1.99 each and free shipping (just google artscow codes) and used the great graphics from the DISigners on the Dis board. they came out great adn don't cost a lot - good luck!

 

[CdnCarrie]

That's insane! I can see a home daycare exchanging names IF all the parents were on board. But to buy for a class and daycare kids?? I find it super odd.

Our daycare gives the children each a gift at Christmas but it's in our annual budget/fundraising. It's a daycare centre (non profit).

My son's Beaver group is doing a $5 gift exchange thingy. But I would freak if I was told I had to buy gifts for a whole daycare or a class of kids.