anyone else disappointed with Valentines Day?

[Magic Mom]

Hey - it's big enough to share!

Fine, but you have to fight for your portion with all the other posters that asked after I did.

 

[NatashaDisneyCM]

all I can say is......WOW!

 

[LPZ_Stitch!]

Whether you celebrate it or not, I really wish people would stop calling Valentine's Day a "stupid, made-up Hallmark holiday" ... it's been around since AD 496!!!

Personally, I think whether you make a big deal out of Valentine's Day or not, couples will always be on much better ground when they LISTEN to each other!

 

[luvsJack]

Um, No. It is because they are in secure, non mind-game-playing relationships that don’t need made up holidays to prove their love

I find it embarrassing and juvenile to expect things on Valentine’s Day.....very “junior high”.

That is just me.

Frankly, if you are disappointed year after year about how you are treated on a Hallmark Holiday, you and your spouse have deeper issues

How the heck is telling someone "I want this, I need this. I don't want that, I don't need that" and then being upset because he got you that instead of this, mind games? Sounds to me like she was pretty plain.

Expecting acknowledgment on V-day or Mother's Day or Christmas or a birthday or anniversary and the spouse KNOWING a person expects acknowledgment is NOT mind games. It is one spouse ignoring what the other desires.

Why can't someone's feelings just be validated without all this need to make fun of the person, make it all their fault or belittling them? You think its jr high? FINE! Don't do anything for the day, you are completely free to do so. Is anyone, anywhere saying that you are being silly for that or that you should expect something? No.

So what gives you or anyone else the right to tell someone they shouldn't expect something?



As for "deeper issues" that is just a bit too much assumption. Some people have gifting issues and just don't do gifts well. Maybe her dh wanted to give her something that was more personal and more luxurious than the treadmill. Doesn't necessarily mean that they have deep dark issues, he just needs to listen. My own dh just cannot get it through his head that he doesn't have to go out and spend $$$ and he has a different idea of what "showing his love" means than I do. I accept that. Its one flaw, I will get over it. Doesn't change the little twinge I feel when he doesn't do anything.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Yes, he knows that I don't like them. But he got it for me because he doesn't like rubbing my hip for me when it hurts so much I can't move. Yeah, I would call it 40 week long pms, too!

Maybe he loves you and doesn't like to see you in pain? Maybe he thinks that it would work and provide lasting pain relief, and that would change your opinion.

If you'd feel more comfortable with a friend, then bring one. There's no reason you can't give someone one of your massages if a little company would be nice..

 

[luvmy3]

Maybe he loves you and doesn't like to see you in pain? Maybe he thinks that it would work and provide lasting pain relief, and that would change your opinion.

If you'd feel more comfortable with a friend, then bring one. There's no reason you can't give someone one of your massages if a little company would be nice..

Did you read her OP where she said that spas creep her out and that she hates when people touch her? I don't know why anyone would think bringing a friend would change that. Its not about being alone there, its an issue with being touched by strangers hands. An issue she said she discussed with her dh, who apparently didn't listen, or didn't care. He should have asked her if trying it would change her opinion instead of spending the money for it and expecting her to try it to see if it does. (hypothetically of course, since we don't know his real reason).

 

[luvsJack]

I am curious as to why her dh didn't know that a massage would be a bad idea for her?

 

[disykat]

I agree! You got roses and chocolate and a"happy valentines day" why would you have to be attached at the hip the entire day??

Seriously? With that thinking, if HER husband had gotten her the spa certificate too, he wouldn't have had to even talk to her for weeks! (Kidding -my point is that some women prefer to spend time with their loved ones over gifts!)

I am curious as to why her dh didn't know that a massage would be a bad idea for her?

You would wonder, wouldn't you, since she specifically said she TOLD him she would hate going to a spa?

To the OP. If you can't get your money back (and I would definitely try), how about donating the spa gift certificate to a charity auction. It could make some money for a good cause.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I wonder if the spa certificate has an expiration date on it? If not then I think it would make an excellent gift for her to give her DH for his birthday, or Fathers Day or whatever pops up next. This way she can go buy herself what she wants with the $300 she WOULD have spent on him

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...You would wonder, wouldn't you, since she specifically said she TOLD him she would hate going to a spa?...

Saying the words and knowing that he heard them are two different things. Couples with communication issues generally spend all day talking past one another, neither paying attention. In the end, neither understands the other, and each blames the other because they know what they said, even if they didn't hear a single thing their significant other said...

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

No I'm not disapointed with Valentines day. We don't celebrate hallmark days, it works for us.

it is not a hallmark holiday!

Valentine's Day has been celebrated for centuries - long before Hallmark was in business.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

it is not a hallmark holiday!

Valentine's Day has been celebrated for centuries - long before Hallmark was in business.

They are not called Hallmark Holidays because they were invented by Hallmark.

"Hallmark holiday" is a disparaging term, used predominantly in the United States, to describe a holiday that is perceived to exist primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to commemorate a traditionally significant religious or secular event.

from wiki...

 

[2girlsmom]

OP, I completely get why you were upset, and I agree, see if the Spa will refund you the money or exchange it, etc.

I actually think that for me it is more about time than gifts, but my dh is a gifter, so he went out and bought me flowers (NOT roses, he knows I think the racket on them is ridiculous, colored daisies) and a 4 pack of choc covered strawberries. Nothing big, less than $15 total, though, so he does get that I don't want him spending a fortune...

We also went to dinner and a movie over the weekend, knowing that yesterday we would have the kids' basketball, etc.

 

[Amy8888]

To the OP, I'm sorry it didn't go well for you. I know a thing or two about pregnancy hormones. All I can say is that I am glad I don't have them right now! And I also don't get the spa thing. I don't even like getting my hair cut! But with my first baby, my co-workers had my shower at a spa and I have to say, I actually did enjoy the pre-natal massage. Definitely try to use the certificate in some way that will make you happy...can you possibly use it for fancy products?

And I don't want to brag or anything, but I had a fantastic Valentine's Day! On Thursday, I was doing the grocery shopping and saw a bag of Weight Watchers candy and bought it. I wanted to get candy for Valentine's Day, but I didn't want to go off my diet. I tried describing the candy to DH but I didn't think he would actually find it. So like I said, I bought the bag of candy myself, then got home and handed it to DH to give to me. Then on Saturday I decided I wanted some Bath and Body Works handsoap (a somewhat practical splurge). So I dragged him to the mall, he waited patiently while I shopped and picked out what I wanted, then when I was done I handed him all the stuff I wanted PLUS the 20% off coupon, and he paid for it. Finally, we cooked dinner at home on Sunday. I picked out everything and planned the menu, and he cooked it.

So basically, what I'm saying, is that I've learned what works with DH and my own expectations, and I have found that it is not beneath me to get my own gifts! And this makes DH happy too, it takes the pressure off him!

I guess I'm not a true romantic, but I was happy!

 

[Amy8888]

I have to honest here and say that I really don't see what your whining about. Because you didn't get what you wanted for some stupid holiday madeup by the card companies? You should be grateful your husband tried to think about you.You should be grateful your family has the extra 300 dollars to spend on what most would consider a luxary item. In todays economy,many people are laid off,my husband being one of them. That 300.00 dollars would be 2 weeks worth of groceries and week money for us. You should be grateful that you even have your husband with you,healthy and loving you.My best friend lost her husband to cancer last month. I am sure she would be happy just to have him give her one more hug. Not to be nasty,but stop complaining and start counting your blessings!

And I get the sense that the OP would have preferred a $300 gift card to the grocery store over a spa gift certificate. I know I would be upset if DH spent $300 on something completely extravagant I can't use, mostly because it would be a huge waste of money.

Also, the OP mentioned being upset that she was left alone by her DH. It sounds like, just as your friend would prefer, she would have been happier with a hug than the spa day.

Adding "not to be nasty" at the end of a nasty post doesn't take away its nastiness.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Geez. What ever happened to live and let live? Why do people have to be so rude to other regarding how they choose to spend their days? If you see Valentine's Day as a "Hallmark Holiday," so be it. Why you have to keep insulting those who see it as something more, is beyond me.

OP, I understand why you're upset. It's not about the gift, it's about someone who is supposed to know you better than anyone, acting like they don't know you at all. Or don't care enough to put thought into a gift.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

They are not called Hallmark Holidays because they were invented by Hallmark.

from wiki...

Wrong-o you are! The second sentence in your given quote from Wikipedia proves my point.

disparaging term, used predominantly in the United States, to describe a holiday that is perceived to exist primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to commemorate a traditionally significant religious or secular event. The name comes from Hallmark Cards.....

 

[Mermaid02]

I didn't get a gift or a card yesterday- I didn't give one either. We had a nice easy going Sunday. My dh did go to work for about 4 hours- double time- how's THAT for a Valentines gift??

Don't watch the commercials or listen to what someone else did. What does your own heart say? Mine says I have a great husband and family and I don't need a $4 card to tell me that I'm appreciated- I know I am.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Wrong-o you are! The second sentence in your given quote from Wikipedia proves my point.

disparaging term, used predominantly in the United States, to describe a holiday that is perceived to exist primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to commemorate a traditionally significant religious or secular event. The name comes from Hallmark Cards.....

Tell me of a single person who believes these holidays to have actually been started by Hallmark (above the age of 10)...

 

[phragmipedium]

I'm laughing with you, because this little guy is our little Disney souvenir!!!!

Funny! According to your ticker, we are exactly the same amount pregnant down to the day. And, I also hate the idea of spas and people touching me - not just massages, but pedicures also. Just not my cup of tea, and would be more stressful than relaxing for me also, so I get where you're coming from.

Probably what I would do is say, "You know honey, I wasn't entirely honest earlier when you asked me what I thought. I do appreciate that you thought of me and got me a gift, but it's just really not something I could enjoy enough especially to justify the cost. Would it hurt your feelings if I asked to return it and spend the money on something I've really been wanting and need - this treadmill?" Hopefully your point would be made, even for future holidays, and you'd be being honest and direct with him without being mean.