Any other DISers trying to concieve? Reread OP for the QOTD!

[7beasley]

Hey 4kids...just wanted to add my 2 cents as well -- and to support these wonderful women who have already responded to you....

The women on this thread are the salt of the earth -- not one of us would ever do anything other than smile and congratulate a pregnant women...but that does not stop the sadness we feel on the inside wishing that was us, or the jealousy we feel that she is where we want to be....

No one here is a bad person - and this thread is supposed to be a safe haven for us to vent to eachother as we have all been there before -- most of us on this thread (not all but alot) have had some type of difficulty conceiving...and we therefore all feel that we have been in each other's shoes.

While no one here would ever express out loud in public their feelings of jealousy or sadness - we are safe with each other here and need this space to say what we are truly feeling inside.

I have no doubt that even though many on this board know of the sheer hell I went through to get pregnant - and my awful infertility diagnosis and my life savings I had to spend to do donor egg IVF -- as happy as they were for me because they knew of my struggle - a small part of them took my great news with a little sadness for themselves because they wished it was them...not that they would begrudge me or any other pregnant lady our joy - but they just desperately want to experience that joy as well.

I know that with each BFP on this thread - I would be over joyed and over the moon for my "TTC friend" but a small part of me would ache because it was not my turn yet....

So cut these ladies a break - we have all been through a lot -- if we need a safe place to vent to each other that we are surrounded by yet another pregnant person in our lives - let us be --- we mean no harm and are not bad people -- we are the first to congratulate someone else's good fortune - we just want to share in that ourselves -- and some of us have been waiting years for that moment.

If you are trying to conceive - then welcome to our thread -- we will be here to support you in every up and down - every joy and sorrow - ever frustration and fear...

If you are not trying to conceive - that is okay too - we welcome support from those who have walked before us....

....but please, the women here are going through a lot - don't add to their burden by making them feel insensitive or mean or that they have done something wrong by expressing their feelings...they have not!

Hugs to all the TTC girls!!

And happy anniversary - who knew this thread was a year old and still going strong!!

We are due for another string of BFPs!! We had our Nov/Dec girls -- it is time now for our Feb/March girls!!

Hugs,
Nicole

 

[princess pooh]

Gurgi, i hope I'm not the one making you mad either. If it is me, I blame the post-pill hormone surge . I'll be milking that excuse for as long as I can.

Val if you're planning a spring baby you might have to wait a bit. If you conceived now I think you might be due in February.

 

[7beasley]

Just saw my little tickers saying which reads "hot dog or cheeseburger" which is pretty funny considering that I can't eat ANY MEAT and haven't in the last 12 weeks or so -- all meat makes me gag -- chicken, steak, pork, hamburger anything --- I have been on a meat free diet as of late - I just hate hate hate meat -- talk about a food aversion - my husband is worried cause I am not eating any protein -- I pretty much live on salad, fruit, some veg, and pasta -- that is all that interests me (and even that does not really interest me!!)

We took my MIL to a brunch buffet for mothers day - it was really nice - $30 a person - had a beautiful prime rib carving station and tons of food -- what did I eat -- 3 rolls with butter, a plate of salad with ranch dressing, some watermelon and 1 shrimp.

Not really worth $30 - but I was happy!

So while TTC stock up on meat now -- you may detest it when you get pregnant!!

Hugs,
Nicole

 

[CheshireVal]

Val if you're planning a spring baby you might have to wait a bit. If you conceived now I think you might be due in February.

Yeah, I keep thinking that, but since I don't know how easily I'll be able to get pregnant, there's really no need to put off trying. I figure if it happens early, it's just meant to be!

 

[Gurgi]

Mickeyboat and Princess Pooh...you girls didn't make me upset If you wanna know, you can PM me

my4kids......unless you've walked in our shoes, you probably wouldn't understand. I wouldn't go running out of the room or cry in front of someone, but in my own private home or car, I will cry out of frustration.

It hurts because for some people, it's very simple to get pregnant. For others, it can take years (and sometimes thousands of dollars) to get pregnant...and then something terrible will happen like a miscarriage.

It hurts because we want to share in the joy of our friends, but inside we are aching because we can't feel that personal joy that they are.

It hurts because sometimes (not often, but sometimes) there are people who flaunt the fact that they are pregnant, and do not realize how much they are hurting the ones who are having trouble conceiving.

Some of us here have conceived and then lost the baby. Some of us just can not conceive naturally, and have to go through other options. Some of us have had to go through surgeries to "fix" problems that were causing troubles with conception, only to still have troubles conceiving.

I think it's just like that old saying...you have to walk in someone's shoes to know how they feel. There is a small part of me that hurts when I see the other BFP's on this thread, but the majority of them I cheer along because I know just *how* long and just *how* hard it was for them to get there.

*stepping off soapbox...again*



Anywho...Elaine: I love "goober". I get a lot of laughs with that one

Allison: You are MUCH braver than I with the grapefruit juice. I'll stick to the pre-seed when it's time

Shari: When are you gonna test?!?!

Mickeyboat: I'm just gonna call you "boat". It's too long the other way

Yeah, I'm getting antsy about the appointment now. The cramps are very, very odd and they do remind me of period cramps. I just hope it's not that yet, as I'd hate to have cruddy cycles after all of this!

 

[Gurgi]

And totally off topic, hailing from my local area, the actor who played Bud Bundy got arrested. Here's his mugshot...let's all take a guess as to WHY he was arrested by looking at his picture...hehehe:

 

[2bemarried]

Hi all...

Elaine thankfully we only have two more days till Grey's...but the sad part is after we watch it we have to wait till September for it to come back

Shari I will agree with Elaine that pregnancy insanity is real. I have several good friends and coworkers that were royal you know whats during their pregnancy.

skuttle..good luck with the grapefruit juice. I'll give you kudos for at least trying to stick to it. I would take one sip and say heck no! Woohoo on your WDW trip next year!

Cheshire..too bad you can't get you mom a hint to leave for a couple of hours

Gurgi I hope your side is feeling better this afternoon. I also hope it wasn't me who was insensitive.

Amber

my4kids I think the other ladies here have summed it up better than I could. You can't really understand our feelings unless you go through it.

Hiya Lisa...good to see you

I agree with Amber that hearing about pregnancies here do not bother me. It's the ones that don't even plan for it (teenagers) that really get to me. Carla will always be my motivation.

Nicole..are you able to eat peanut butter to get your protein in?

 

[mickeyboat]

And totally off topic, hailing from my local area, the actor who played Bud Bundy got arrested. Here's his mugshot...let's all take a guess as to WHY he was arrested by looking at his picture...hehehe:

He looks like he is getting ready to burst out laughing, and eat an entire bag of cheetos.

 

[DisneyDreamer8]

Hello Ladies

Sorry I have not been around but I have had a terrible head cold

Gurgi: I hope your cramps ease soon and it is not AF coming early. Keep us updated after your Dr appt.

Allison: You are braver than me for drinking grapefruit juice. I hope it works for you

Shari: Will you be testing soon????

Val: I hope you get your BFP soon

Nicole: Thanks for the info but I doubt there are any shared risk clinics in my area. I would probably need to go to Portland for that (three hours away). Sorry you are not able to eat meat. I hope it passes soon

Sorry if I have missed some of you...I'm still kinda out of it. Gotta work up the energy to head down to the drug store and get my next round of Clomid.

 

[helenabear]

You know Nicole always puts it so well I like how you said it more nicely than I did

Lisa, I was just thinking about that a few days ago. I knew this thread was started in May, but truly amazing we've lasted over a year now!!!

Amber, glad you don't want to be rid of us... I hope most others feel the same way (hey I'm not going to strive for perfection, just above average )

Nicole, I am sorry you have a meat aversion. I only seem to be okay with beef well done and chicken. Pork makes me queasy to even think about. Seafood isn't even on my list of something I normally eat. For me it is the dairy aversion. It is slowly lightening up at the moment, and I hope it continues. Just like I hope you are able to eat meat sometime again!

Val, that is a great attitude! Even though we had months we would've been happier avoiding, we still never stopped. Though I admit I was happy Jan '06 when I wasn't because it meant I could go on roller coaster rides at WDW (even got on Expedition Everest).

Gurgi, my fingers are crossed for a good appt for you
Oh and my guess is that he was high as a kite! At least his eyes look as much.

Kristy, I know what you mean about having to wait until fall for it to come back. I will miss GA over the summer. I do like it when Fox & ABC run the first season episodes over the summer though. Ours does it for House (another huge fave of ours) and Bones.

I will be totally honest about hearing pregnancy. Pre-miscarriage most of the pregnancy announcements were okay, though once in a while a few stung. I didn't like that in me, but when someone said "Oh it only took a month (or two)" it kind of bugged me. The ones I knew had gone through a bit more never bothered me at all. In all honesty right after my miscarriage I worried about Carla... I was so scared the same would happen to her. Post miscarriage my feelings did change and I was happy for any pregnancy.
I didn't want to feel that way before I lost the baby, but it was so hard to hear younger people get pregnant so much quicker. Then again I was really at my emotional end when I got pregnant last fall. I was crying daily because I was 'such the failure' My good friends were worried the miscarriage would emotionally "kill me"
So I wasn't all that great about it, but I sure tried to be happy for everyone.

I have an annoying meeting at church tonight. Don't feel like going, but I better hop in the shower for it anyway and get the laundry into the dryer.

 

[AllyandJack]

I'll add a bit, too. Why not? I'm doped up on Phenergan and feeling good.

It's not jealousy. I always want to tell people who assume it's jealousy to get over themselves. It's a deep sadness about our own situation. It truly has nothing to do with the pregnant person and I've never once been jealous - my life was great before I got pregnant and, honestly, I'd rather be not pregnant in my life than pregnant in the life of the some of the people who get pregnant easily.

Let's say your mother is dead. My mother is alive. Day after day I bring my mother around....and complain about her every day.....and talk about her like it's the be all and end all of topics and expect everyone else to be interested because it's oh-so-exciting....then, 5 other people show up with their mothers and declare that day to be Bring Your Mother to Work Day....and you sit there....alone.....and then they decide to have that day once a month where everyone brings their mothers to work and you sit there.....alone....

Not a person alive could tell me that wouldn't hurt. And, you'd probably want to take a long lunch or even take a sick day that day and not be around for it. Are you jealous? Probably not. You don't want MY mother (trust me!). You just have a deep sadness for yourself and the loss of your mother and you just don't feel like watching a bunch of people prance around you with their mothers while you sit there all alone missing yours.


Nicole, I haven't eaten meat either! Ha! It's so funny. I told DH I may never eat chicken again. And peanut butter...my God, DH can't even eat it in front of me. But, I can eat it if it's in an Uncrustable. Go figure.

Gurgi, I hope your appointment goes well. That was a rough recovery from the surgery. I hope you get good news after all of that!


You want to talk irony? My "best" friend blew off my baby shower. I haven't heard from her. She never even called to say she wasn't coming. After I went to her baby shower in the midst of my IVF cycle, supported her during her entire pregnancy because nobody else can stand her, listened to her complain about how "motherhood is overrated" 2 days after my ectopic, and put up with her being insensitive and ignorant during my struggle.....she just blew me off. I don't even know why. I have a vague idea (I couldn't take her call because I was puking and the next day couldn't immediately respond to her text message because I was *gasp* working). I alternate between crying and wanted to punch a hole in a wall in anger.

So, the fertile friend of the infertile is the miserable one....she just can't stand that I'm happy.

 

[Villain-lover]

Well ladies, our ultrasound revealed....TWINS!!! They look good, heartbeats in the 160's for one and 170's for the other. Both measure at 7wks, 5days and that puts my due date at Dec 25th! Twins come early though, an 36 weeks is term for them, so more realistic is beginning of Dec. This is so crazy, but I am soo releaved!

thank you guys sooo much for the support! It means the world, and I plan on sticking around too!

Meredith

 

[AllyandJack]

Meredith!!! I'm so excited for you!!!!

 

[Gurgi]

YAY MEREDITH!!

You're gonna have your hands full


2bemarried: Nope...wasn't you that bothered some of us

There's something in the water here...another doctor announced she was pregnant! I don't know how these ladies keep their mouths shut for so long (she's about 12 weeks right now). I guess it'll put me to the test when it's my turn, hehe.

 

[2bemarried]

Meredith!!! I'm so excited for you!!!!

Ditto!!

Congrats Meredith!!

 

[2bemarried]

Rebecca...may I ask where you got your siggie infertility ribbon? I would like to find one as well.

Elaine I agree that the summer is good for catching up on other shows. Thankfully I will have Big Brother to keep me busy starting in July.

Gurgi...shew, glad it wasn't mean. I went back and wasn't sure if something I said could have been interrupted the wrong way.

Carla I'm sorry that your "friend" is being a witch. I hope things work out for you.

UGH...it's only 4:15 here. I'm SO ready to go home today.

 

[helenabear]

OMG Meredith!!!!!! That is soooo exciting! Congratulations!!!!

Carla, you made me laugh with the feeing good after being doped up
I am sorry about your friend though. That is just horrible!!!

Gurgi, have you gone to the doc yet? I hope it went well. Oh and get some of that water for when you are allowed to TTC again Btw, I haven't told my family yet. it's not quite as hard as you would think

 

[Tiggerlover91]

deleted.

 

[mickeyboat]

Congrats, Meredith! I am so happy for you. Christmas babies!

Carla - sometimes, for our own sanity, we need to take a break from people who make us misearble. You have talked about this friend quite a lot, and I can see that she has hurt you. Let her go, if she is a true friend, you will find each other again. If not, she is not worth the anguish.

Denae

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi everyone, long time no post. Congratulations on all of the BFP's and the TWINS.

I finally had a epiphany(not sure if this is the right word), I went to my Gyn this morning and told her no more TTC, I just can't do it anymore. I am tired, rundown, and I can't afford anymore treatment than I have already had, which is not much as compared to many of you. I had to finally admit to myself no more and I don't know how to deal with this emotionally, but it will pass in a few days (I hope). This also includes any other methods of becoming a mother, unless a baby falls from the sky, I won't turn it away.

First time poster here, but have been scanning through last several pages. I just had to ask, (and I REALLY don't mean to be insensitive), but why does that suck? I'm sorry, and i really feel for you, but I ask this because when I was pregnant with each one of my kids, when I would tell people, at least one girl would freak out and burst into tears, or run from the room. Although I AM VERY sympathetic to someone having trouble conceiving or carrying a baby (been there myself once) I just don't understand why some people are jealous of anothers good fortune , or are unhappy rather than happy for the other person. How does someone elses pregnancy affect you?

I hope for your sake, that when you do get pregnant and you are overjoyed , and excited to share your news, that someone you tell doesn't think it sucks. I can't tell you how hurtful it is to be crushed and have your happiness ruined by a family member who bursts out in tears and runs from the room when you announce your news, or to have a sister in law that won't even visit you or your baby because "it would be to hard on her".

I just will never understand how someones happiness could make someone else miserable. Someone else having a baby is not what is keeping another from having one. Theere should be no relation.

Now for you , you say you have been where we have, apparently not, you must be like my co-worker that said that she was infertile, well she is soon going to have her second baby and her first is only 16 months old, he will be 18 months old by the time this one gets here. I am one of thos women who probably has left the room crying and I don't begrudge any woman from having a baby, but when having a baby becomes like buying groceries, it hurts. I have a cousin that has three beautiful children, that I just love more than anything, but I did begrudge her her happiness when she dropped the bomb on me after finishing my last IUI without success. She is a fertile Myrtle and she took a special time away from me. I had just been through 3 unsuccessful IUI's and then my mom finally made her admit she was pregnant again, and she only gets pregnant to get a man (how SORRY). Do you think I really want to be happy for her, NOOOO.

How insensitive of you to come to a place like this and say these things to women in our position. You obviously have no regard for others. If I did find out that I was pregnant, I would certainly make sure to let others know with sensitivity. Everyone hides their pregnancy from me until they have to tell, because they know just how upset I can get. I have that right. I have been through h*ll and back and got the war wounds. I have been scarred for life, and if for some reason should ever get pregnant, or a baby falls from the sky, I will never forget where I have been and what I have been through. This doesn't just affect us either, it affects our entire family.

I have to step off my soapbox for now, because I'm likely to say something that will get me kicked off this board.

But I must add, that one year ago when my BEST friend announced she was pregnant, I handled it well. I did have my little crying party privately, but I spoiled her to no end. My mom and I had so much fun shopping for her and when she found out that the baby was going to be a girl, there was no end to what I bought her. I also threw her a huge shower and bought her everything she needed, except her crib, stroller and car seat. The only reason I could celebrate her is because she has been so very supportive of everything I have been through and she deserved it, She is happily married and already had a wonderful son. That is the way a family should be built. She still supports me no matter waht and those children call me "aunt" Suzanne. I love them as if they were my own.

I must get back to work now.

Suzanne