Any other DISers trying to concieve? Reread OP for the QOTD!

[7beasley]

Hey LisaB ----*** was exactly my reaction this morning when this nurse was talking to me...I am CONVINCED that when I spoke to her this morning and she said the preg test was positive she did nothing more than read that ONE test on the lab slip and she never even looked at my file to see (1) how unlikely that was and (2) the fact that she should tread lightly with me and be extra careful not to get my hopes up....

I am *so* mad at myself that I let myself be excited and "go there" for even one minute...I knew logically that it could not be possible. Therefore the news today that it was a false positive was kind of expected.

Anyway - we shared a *** moment!

I am routing for you - I don't know how you can be so brave and hold out on testing of course I kind of felt that way this morning thinking the longer I go without testing the more time I can enjoy this what if fantasy.

Though given your cravings -- I think you will have good news!! I really hope so!

Our potential egg donor has brown hair (LOL) - she is italian and polish - lives in NY -- she is not a definiate yet although she has indicated she is available and interested in working with us -- she needs to be screened still and we have to sign all the contracts still. I think we are a few months away before any IVF.

Kristy -- so sorry your news is not good...I wish I had something to add or some experience but alas I do not. I am sure they will get things under control though and you will be ready to go for the next cycle.

Carla --- you are in my thoughts...sounds like you and hubby have a tough decision in front of you. Trust your heart and your gut. Have you guys considered embroyo adoption or regular adoption. We have done a little investigating of both in case this egg donor stuff does not work - glad to pass on the info I know...just a thought. Thanks for all your comforting thoughts and message to me - it is much appreicated.

Jen in NH - any news with you? Thanks for your good thoughts as well.

I start the estrogen provera tomorrow -- anyone know of any side effects with that -- anything I need to know? The doctors did not tell me squat.

I have a 2nd opinion appointment at Brigham and Women's in Boston on August 4th which I am really looking forward to -- always good to get a 2nd opinion!!

Well - it is now 9pm and I am still at work -- this "false positive" crap took up my whole morning so I had to stay late to finish all my work (I am an atty too like Carla and the work just keeps piling up) - I leave for Vegas next week too so I am trying to get my desk cleared and my files up to date before I leave. This detour this morning did not help that mission!

Have a good night all!

~Nicole

 

[Syrreal]

Hi Guys He is gone for the next three weeks and I am alone in a new city. So lonely...

Hey, I used to live in Miami and was always up in Ft Lauderdale. If you want some info on places to go or whatever, let me know

 

[AllyandJack]

Kristy, it's definitely better to cancel the cycle and try again. Let us know what the doctor is going to do. I know my RE said she'd still retrieve the eggs, but wouldn't transfer any embryos. I don't know if the same would be true for higher levels....her cut off for transfer is 3,000 and I was only at 2,200 at the time. It can only go better next time with the info your doctor got from this cycle.

Nicole, Vegas is always good. Geez, I hope you're not flying out of Logan. What a mess. I've been avoiding work (I work in Boston) during the week. DH drives me so I don't have to stress myself out on the road and he's been working 10 hour days to take Friday off and I have no desire to sit there for 13 hours. I used to be "that" kind of lawyer, but I'm over it. There is no point in adopting embryos since our embryos are perfect. It's not the embryos, it's me. I just kick them out. Nobody knows why. I actually have a few frozen, but I see no point in putting them in me just to die. I might as well donate them to someone who has a shot at making a baby out of them. I don't know about regular adoption.....I have a close cousin that's a Level III Sex Offender and family members who did time in prison protecting prominent mob figures. You know Howie Carr's book? It could read as my family tree. Then there is DH's freak show of a family. They're not criminals, but they're transients and live with anyone who is willing to let them sleep on their couch (we haven't heard from them in over a year....the last time they called asking for money). I don't know how much family stuff is involved with adoption, but I'm pretty sure we'd get an "F" on that part of the application.

DMickey, can you occupy yourself with unpacking? I guess when all else fails, you can turn to TV and books. I'm reading Two Little Girls in Blue by Mary Higgins Clark. It's pretty good.

AF arrived with a vengeance overnight. Never stop birth control mid-pack....it is NOT pretty. DH thinks it's great I'm "taking a break". He really doesn't have a clue. At least he fixed my space bar.

 

[LisaB]

Oh Carla That sucks. I know what you mean about dh's family. Kevin's family is just like that. His niece who is 25 two kids loser bf etc. She lives with her mother in a 3 bedroom apt in the city----hot. Her father invited her to live in Tennasee with him and his loser wife. Kelly the niece is all ready is move down there with the two kids gets school for the olderst etc and then her father says So Sorry changed my mind. The bf has become an alcoholic always thought he was and was abusive in the past. Of course my father's side isn't like yours but is close. I remember we had a close friend who ran an Italian resturant in Seekonk. He was our cousin's cousin--Well out of respect I would call him Uncle Bob. One day Uncle Bob wasn't at the resturant and I asked my Mom were he was. I was about 5-6. My Mom goes oh he is on vacation I go "NO he isn't he is in jail". Guess he went to jail for rackerteering.

 

[7beasley]

I am so sorry for you...have you thought about getting a surrogate - especially since the embroyos are healthy? It is pretty much the reverse of what I am going through now. I can carry but have no eggs. Sounds like you have eggs but can't carry...if only we could get together -- LOL!

Anyway - these egg donor places I am dealing with also have surrogate services -- I am happy to forward you on the info.

People keep telling me how lucky I am that I can carry the baby even though it is not my genetic makeup -- to tell you the truth - I would much rather it be my genetics and have another woman be my surrogate.

Something to think about...they really can do wonderful things now adays with medicine.

Plus - the benefit for you would be (1) no more pregnancy IVF stress (2) a baby that is 100% yours and your husbands!

As I have learned the hard way...there are other (unfortunatley more expensive and less desirable) routes to becoming a mommy! Don't give up!!

As for Vegas (oh my god I can not wait...I have had enough of this real world crap - give me free booze, gambling and decadance any day of the week) - we are flying out of Manchester. That was planned well before all the big dig mess but I am thankful we are avoiding Logan!

~Nicole

 

[lil mermaid]

Carla - Have you ever had any testing done to see why you are miscarrying? I mean, the basic blood tests. They test for clotting disorders and lots of other things. Just a thought. Anyway to you.

 

[AllyandJack]

Lisa, I got lied to, too! It wasn't until I was in my 20's that my mother told me my uncle went to prison for protecting the mob guy. Apparently, he had a stroke in prison and lost his ability to speak. They had to let him out because he was no longer in contempt of court - he couldn't speak, so no comtempt. He was such a sweet old guy, too. Then, I read Howie's book and there they all are. I have it on all sides....mother from Eastie, father from Southie....mother Italian...father Irish....it's pretty bad. My mother always used to tell people that she could drop one quarter and have them killed...these days it would be more like .50.

Nicole, nobody knows why I kick the embryos out. All of my tests are negative. I'd feel a little better if they could tell me WHY, but there is no reason. They put them in, I cramp up and, if I don't kick them out, I shove them into my fallopian tubes. Actually, my doctors tell me ectopics are very common after IVF, so they see no reason to think I have a "condition". Whatever. I wish they'd find something so I can have something to blame. Are they not going to try to stimulate you at all? Not even a round on an injectable or something to try and get an egg out of you?? Having many drinks sounds good to me....I might just do that Friday night.

 

[AllyandJack]

Carla - Have you ever had any testing done to see why you are miscarrying? I mean, the basic blood tests. They test for clotting disorders and lots of other things. Just a thought. Anyway to you.

They won't do those tests on me because I haven't had "multiple losses". I had an ectopic and what they think was a blighted ovum, but they won't do those tests unless I've had multiple losses. They don't consider implantation failures losses. It makes no sense to me. I offered to pay for the testing, but my doctors said I'd be wasting my money (many thousands of dollars). I'm on Baby Aspirin as part of the IVF protocol anyway and, since I'm not presenting with any symptoms of the other stuff that would require things like Heparin, they won't do the testing and my insurance company won't pay for it. I figure it's a loss....you're putting actual embryos back in me and I kill them....that's a loss, right?

 

[LisaB]

Good night ladies. I finally got the thing I had been craving Peppereridge Farm cake I love it frozen

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Lisa you are evil----I have some in the freezer.....only that freezer is 900 miles away. So a week and a half before I get any.





(I am kidding of course!)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

They won't do those tests on me because I haven't had "multiple losses". I had an ectopic and what they think was a blighted ovum, but they won't do those tests unless I've had multiple losses. They don't consider implantation failures losses. It makes no sense to me. I offered to pay for the testing, but my doctors said I'd be wasting my money (many thousands of dollars). I'm on Baby Aspirin as part of the IVF protocol anyway and, since I'm not presenting with any symptoms of the other stuff that would require things like Heparin, they won't do the testing and my insurance company won't pay for it. I figure it's a loss....you're putting actual embryos back in me and I kill them....that's a loss, right?

Do you ever make it to a chemical pregnancy and wouldn't that be a loss?

Are you O-?

Very weird....

Have you tried going to ovusoft.com ... maybe asking on the IF boards since your lovely docs don't sense a "problem".


Hope the next one works for you!

 

[LisaB]

I know I am going to get another piece. I love the frosting

 

[connorsmom911]

Hey all...sounds like we need all around!!! Just dropping in to say hi, nothing really to report, other than my temps are still all over the place and I'm back on nights where I don't really get reliable temps (I'm discarding those ones on my fertilityfriend chart). I'm not expecting to O anytime soon anyway. But I am happy to report that my OB from my pregancy with Connor has ok'd taking me on again when I get pregnant. My sister was talking to her at work the other day. Originally she had told my sister that she wouldn't take me again unless I lost a lot of weight, she'd refer me to another OB. I was a little hurt, but I understood. I know I scared her during my last pregnancy with my high bp and then she had to do an emerg c-section on me. Well, apparently there was a miscommunication. She thought I wanted to try having a v** delivery this time, that's why she initially said no, but my sister clarified that no, I would be a scheduled c, in and out. She said oh, of course, in that case I'd be delighted to have her as a pt again. So I am thrilled. I really liked her a lot. The whole trust issue thing is good. So, now I just need to get preggers!!

Had to laugh reading about the cravings thing...about my 4th month pregnant with Connor I went through a phase where I craved pancakes like crazy!! I went through a whole box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup in like 3 weeks!! And then the craving was gone. I've found myself lately looking at the pancake mixes in the grocery store, hoping...hehehe

Nicole, Carla and Kristy...you guys are really in my thoughts. I'm wishing you guys extra pixie dust. I'm so glad we have a place like this to gather and share frustrations and hope with.

And of course, hugs all around to all I am indulging in my Baileys while I can, finishing my Michigan wine and having a few gin and tonics this summer while I can. A toast to us all!! Here's to many BFP's!!!

 

[AllyandJack]

Do you ever make it to a chemical pregnancy and wouldn't that be a loss?

Are you O-?

Very weird....

Have you tried going to ovusoft.com ... maybe asking on the IF boards since your lovely docs don't sense a "problem".


Hope the next one works for you!

I never had a chemical. I had an ectopic, which they don't consider the type of "loss" consistent with the immune issues. This last time, I had an empty sac, so I guess that counts. My doctor was actually writing out the papers.....then, I opened my big, fat mouth and said something about only having that 1 loss and she said she thought I had one previous and I said just the ectopic and she said she thought my 1st IVF was a m/c and I said no and she said she just saved me thousands of dollars because the insurance would have denied it. She told me that if I have another loss, she might be able to force it through - oh, and if they find something, they give me all new fresh rounds. Great. Just what I want. Six more chances at torture. I'm AB+. DH is O-....would that make a difference?


Kristy....how did your appointment go??

LisaB, I love those cakes! Any idea when you're going to test?

connorsmom, that stinks saying they won't take you unless you lost weight. So, if you showed up pregnant they'd just say no?

I stayed home again today....so, I'll be working all weekend. I prefer it that way anyway. I don't feel like talking to DH or having my parents come visit and working is a good excuse not to socialize.

 

[LisaB]

Oh well she showed up today. It is day 21 of my cycles which are usually 28 days. I called the nurse and had to leave a message. I hate leaving messages especially when I feel something is wrong. I spoke to the receptionist who felt this isn't an emerergency my cycles are NEVER 21 DAYS. I not suppose to do the beta until Monday. We need spell check on this

 

[7beasley]

Oh...LisaB...I am so sorry AF showed up!

I am sure the doctor's office will call you back but I know what you mean about hating to leave messages like that on voicemail.

I would keep the appt Monday with Dr. (assuming it was a dr's appt and not just a blood test) so that you can ask some questions and get some info.

I am so sorry!

~Nicole

 

[LisaB]

Just the blood test on Monday

 

[AllyandJack]

Lisa, I'm sorry AF showed. Mine always shows early on injectables. I don't know why, but my RE tells me it's "normal". I don't think anything about this is "normal", but what do I know?


I just got dressed and went to the post office. I got my mail. I drove home. I'm going through the mail and there is note in there that they are holding a piece for signature. I drive back to the post office. I give the guy the note. He tells me he has no idea why it's in there because they don't have anything for me. That's 20mns of my life I'll never get back. I had a statement from BCBS. They denied my ultrasound for one of my ER visits during my miscarriage. The good news is, I'm not responsible for the $250. because my provider didn't tell me it wouldn't be covered. It's stupid. They say it's denied because the test doesn't match the diagnosis. Well, duh....aren't they supposed to rule things out? I mean, a pregnant woman comes in with pain, don't you do an ultrasound first?? Just because the idiot doctor diagnosed me with a UTI and sent me home (I was back a day later when they finally diagnosed the ectopic) doesn't mean the hospital shouldn't get paid. These are the morons deciding whether or not I can have babies. The same people making these silly decisions are deciding whether or not I'm allowed to have a family.

 

[LisaB]

Oh I hate insurance companies too Carla


I am having such a hard time with this. I know you say didn't you feel like this last month too Lisa. It is just another month of not having a baby. I decided to finish off the chocolate cake with raspberry wine

Well the nurse called me back to ask if I wanted to go through this again. Lets see another Saturday screwed up because of an u/s and then another function screwed up because of an iui. I asked her why is my cycle this month 21 days and last month 34 day--oh well its the meds. My follicles were great and kevin's number were good i want to know what the problem is

 

[AllyandJack]

Lisa, I am so with you. Even if something is wrong....at least there would be an ANSWER and maybe a SOLUTION. Are they going to make you wait until Monday for the beta?

Are in line for the tropical storm? I'll be working tomorrow and all weekend, but it doesn't seem as though it's coming as far north as Boston, so I should be OK. Although, now that they shut down the Teddy, traffic is probably going to be a nightmare. I have an appointment in Winthrop tomorrow and I have no idea how I'm getting there.