Any other DISers trying to concieve? Reread OP for the QOTD!

[Princess4Eeyore]

my dad keeps telling me that since it is my blood and body feeding and nurturing the baby during the pregnancy it will take on some of me...I guess I just have to believe that is true...

Awwww your dad is so RIGHT & sweet!!! I believe that too!!!

 

[mickeyboat]

SUCKS SO MUCH!!! trying to look at the bright side options (i.e.: I could still carry a baby) and trying to get my head around the fact that even though I will not be genetically releated to the baby - I will still be the biological mother (which is I guess defined as carrying the baby) -- my dad keeps telling me that since it is my blood and body feeding and nurturing the baby during the pregnancy it will take on some of me...I guess I just have to believe that is true...

~Nicole

Thanks for the explanation, Nicole. I actually know another woman with this condition, and they chose to remain childless - the husband was not comfortable with raising an adopted child, and they were not willing to go the egg donor route. Heart-breaking for everyone.

Your dad's take on you being the biological mother is right on. And don't forget - Just like they say tt isn't about the wedding, it's about the marriage. It isn't about the pregnancy, it's about the upbringing. You will have more influence on who this child becomes long after the fact that you used an egg donor is forgotten.

I have actually considered egg donation, but I am too old, now. And I have always said I could be a surrogate mother, too - but I am probably too old for that, too.

Denae

 

[helenabear]

I know I have a whole lot to catch up on here. I just needed to take a break. I had my doc appt this morning and we talked a bit about conceiving. She said as long as my periods are regular that I do not need to start the charting. If in about 6 months we still haven't had luck, she can do blood work or the sperm count just to make sure nothing is wrong.

But the part I had to share just as a reminder for anyone... she says 29 year old me is young and because of that, she had no real concerns at the moment. Sometimes it just takes time. So we should have fun and enjoy ourselves Oh and she had nothing against having sex/intefering with implantation. She kind of laughed at that thought. So I know what we are doing is okay so far.

I know there are some here that have to go through more IVF and the like to have kids, but for the others, it was nice to hear and hopefully share that usually it isn't anything to worry. And not charting takes off stress that would be there otherwise.

I've only skimmed some, but I do know that both Carla and Kim... well you both are in my prayers. My heart aches for you

And since I just saw this Nicole, I know your dad is right

 

[2bemarried]

Kim you're in my prayers

Elaine welcome back to the group! I've been thinking about you and figured that you needed a break It can all be very overwhelming. Like you said...just have fun and enjoy yourself

 

[LisaB]

OH my God I was on this morning and then come back and wowwwwwww

Carla I am so sorry for you. Does the practice have a counselor? Still no AF and my nurse says to wait until monday if it doesn't show up. On other news the general assembly did pass the bill to limit fertility to 25-40 and also up it from 1 year to 2 trying to get pregnant. I am planning on contacting the ACLU,

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Found a new forum that may interest you guys--lots of threads and most likely you *might* be able to find answers to questions you have from people who may be experiencing what you are going through:

http://www.ovusoft.com/forum/default.asp

Elaine--the good thing about charting---you could detect issues if there are any. With charting, you will KNOW if you ovulate each cycle or not. I don't know the purpose of discouraging you from doing that as it only provides documents what is already going on with your body. But it is good that she has no concerns (as in being worried) at this time for your reproductive health.

 

[7beasley]

So sorry to hear what those bums in the Rhode Island legislature passed. The wait from 1 years to 2 years is particularly ludicrious given that infertility is DEFINED as trying for 1 year and not conceiving -- they are forcing women to wait a whole extra year which we all know has devestating and significant other consequences and impacts.

Absolutlely call the ACLU!!!

This is intolerable.

Are you close to age 40? Is this change going to affect you?

-Nicole

 

[FlyingBelle]

Waiting 2 years??? Seriously, because it's such an awful thing to want to have a baby, right? Isn't there better things they can be regulating, like... I donno, ANYTHING!?!


Are there at least any provisions - such as age, diagnosis, etc?

 

[LisaB]

Sorry double post

 

[LisaB]

The qualfications before that was if you were over 35 and didn't get pregnant within 6mths-1 year you would see be able to start infertility procedures. Now they want to up it for 2 years to cover treatment. Actually prohibit insururers from requiring to pay infertilty treatments unless they been trying for two years. Secondly change the law to limit avaliabilty of infertilty coverage to woman between the ages of 25-40. So lets say like my friend who is my age she is getting married at 37 going to be 38 in November. Good Catholic so I am sure she doesn't want to get pregnant before her marriage. She would have to wait 2 years to get infertilty services if she didn't get pregnant within 2 years and then be denied because she was 40. Does this make sense. I called the ACLU and I have to put something in writing. My catch is that I am 38 turned it in April but I live in Mass. You think oh good Mass requires insurance companies to pay for infertilty but wait my husband who carries the insurance works for the State of RI. Of the thing is that it was a provision in the budget that wouldn't cause the state anything. Just another way to f*ck woman

 

[FlyingBelle]

I called the ACLU and I have to put something in writing.

So... what can we do??? (Seriously) From my understanding, Illinois is pretty good, but that doesn't mean they won't change, especially with other states changing the laws.


Maybe you can post an address for us to write in to??? Maybe we can post on other boards that discuss infertility??? Maybe get our RE involved???

Don't we have the right to TRY to have a child??????????

 

[7beasley]

So sorry...since you work in MA - could you maybe go on your employer's insurance?

My current insurance has a $15K cap ( I live in MA too) so come Nov open enrollment we are swithcing to my husband's insurance which has no cap (it takes effect in Jan)

Maybe your job can put you on insurance rather than use your husband's insurance!

Your example of the 38 year old woman makes perfect sense...even a 35 year old woman who gets married and waits a year to get pregnant and then has to wait 2 more years to get treatment...it is outrageous.

Good luck to you - pursue this issue and don't let it drop! Maybe the ACLU will take the case to the Court to test the law...it seems right up their alley!

-Nicole

 

[LisaB]

I went on the website for Resolve The National Infertilty Association and emailed the question what do we do now??? I just found out about this yesterday when I went to my RE for my pregnancy test. The House had already passed it and we weren't sure about the senate. Since we have no representation for the General Assembly in RI Kevin suggested I call him union rep who told me that the Senate did indeed pass the budget with that provision in it. I have always worked in RI and since I have never needed coverage I have always taken Kevin's. Right now I am working part time delieving fruit baskets and such. I might be okay because of the pre exisiting condition and living in Mass but what about other people. I would suggest everyone see what their individual state covers and contact their local reps. I will keep you posted Hey maybe this will keep my mind off that alwful vistor coming

 

[beckmrk04]

Carla- first and foremost I wish I lived anywhere near you so I could come give you a real in person. My heart is absolutely aching for you. BUT- we're not quitters, ARE WE? I know you aren't. Did you ever just *know* something? No real reason, but you just believed it? Well, I just *know* you are going to get pregnant. I'm serious! I can't tell you why I just *know* this, but I know it like I know my name and address. It is fact. I am so glad you have the resolve that you do, and that you aren't going to let this hold you back! You should also know that you have been absolutely a source of inspiration for me, and all the girls on this thread.

KimR- I'm so sorry. I'm glad you'll be trying again though!

LisaB- let us know if you need any letters written!

Elaine- welcome back! I agree with Lisa about the charting- I mean, if you think you'd stress too much about it, then by all means DON'T chart, but it really help me pinpoint my ovulation (and was a relief to know my body is working properly!). Something to think about, at any rate.

 

[helenabear]

Elaine--the good thing about charting---you could detect issues if there are any. With charting, you will KNOW if you ovulate each cycle or not. I don't know the purpose of discouraging you from doing that as it only provides documents what is already going on with your body. But it is good that she has no concerns (as in being worried) at this time for your reproductive health.

Oh that is true, if you wake up at the same time every day. I don't It would add more stress to my life to try to chart and would throw my body into a tizzy if I tried to keep regular wake hours now. I haven't done it in over a year. She agreed in my case it is not worth the added stress since that *will* affect the chances of pregnancy. She actually really discourages doing on a regular basis since people do get more stressed/worried about it. Not bad short term, but to use it all the time for many women it just makes it worse. That is *her* opinion of course, but I will listen since I love her and she's young, smart and a mother of three
Plus I can usually tell about the time I ovulate. Just the physical changes in mucus. So she said since my periods are like clockwork, she can't imagine that anything is really wrong. If there is blood tests should help determine for me. She really says 6-12 months is totally normal time span, and most couples are lucky if they do it in less than 6. That was a great reminder to me.

Kristy, we're trying to have as much fun as possible with it! I think we'll be more conscious about it in the coming months We've only been "at it" for just under 6 months now as it is. And a couple were totally destroyed due to travel plans.

Lisa, I would be positively furious as well!!!! I wish I had some good advice, but I wish you luck. I think that is absolutely terrible what htey are doing! It would be great if they were lifting restrictions, but adding... grrr.... stupid men must think of these kind of crappy rules!

 

[LisaB]

I sent off an email to the local aclu and i will follow up on it.

 

[scifihippie]

Carla, I'm so sorry.

Kim, Such heartbreaking news from you too.

Nicole, I'm going to PM you the site and the email of my friend who's had POF for 5 years. She said she'd be happy to talk and lend an ear since she understands. She has 4 stepdaughters and no children of her own. Her oldest SD is 17 and about to deliver in August. It's been hard on her, but she is an amazing woman.

 

[LisaB]

Good morning all. No AF yet. I hate having to wait until Monday if I don't get my period. I want to know nowwwwwwwwww!!!!!. I followed up with the aclu and they will look into it. I suggest to everyone to talk to their RE to see if anything is happening like that in their state or even how you can get the state to force insurance companies to cover infertility. I called my RE and they know about it and said they will keep in tough with me to see what can be done. They suggested calling the general assembly but they have allready ajorned for the summer/year. I think I might call my US senator/rep. Living in Mass we have Kennedy and Kerry who are very liberal and my rep is a good dem also.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I don't understand why they would even need to vote on such a thing. Since when is treatment for a medical problem fodder for politics? (i.e. do we require that someone with cancer symptoms wait for a year? Do we require that a cavity be fully visible before dental insurance will pay for a filling? Do we allow a man to be impotent for 2 years before he can have viagra????)



As for me I am having cramping and maybe even a temperature rise--so my fingers are crossed for an "O" day (wouldn't that be lovely!!!) or an impending arrival of AF. If the signs are correct--that should give us a 3+ week window (hopefully) for the next cycle to make it to "O" day.

 

[lil mermaid]

I don't understand why they would even need to vote on such a thing. Since when is treatment for a medical problem fodder for politics? (i.e. do we require that someone with cancer symptoms wait for a year? Do we require that a cavity be fully visible before dental insurance will pay for a filling? Do we allow a man to be impotent for 2 years before he can have viagra????)

Lisa,

They are voting because Massachusetts is one of the few states that mandates infertility treatment coverage.