Any Advice?

[southjerseymom]

I am faced with a delicate situation. My 78 yo Mom has decided to join us for an upcoming trip. We don't do WDW commando style...but we do get around. She thinks she can walk well enough to do the MK and other parks. There is no way she will be able to handle it. Does anyone have any advise on how I might persuade her to use a wheelchair? I think she sees it as a horrible thing - and I see it as sensible. (please don't take offense if I am putting this down wrong). If I can't persuade her...does anyone have any suggestions on some good lightweight shoes that might give her the support she needs to go longer distances. The little flat things she wears will kill her feet. Thanks for any replies!

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Two things which might work. The first is the consideration that one trip around World Showcase Lagoon is slightly over 1.25 miles. Discuss with her a place that is at least that distance from where you live and if she could possibly walk that.

This weekend I was discussing with my mother (who is 91 and very healthy) her coming to visit for a week or so before going to visit her sister in Sarasota. I did tell her she would have to use the ECV I had bought for Judy. When she started to argue, I asked her if she would be willing to walk from her house to the nearest subway station and back; then I said "TWICE in a row". She gave up.

The other is to ask her the following questions, along with the suggested answeres:

1. Are you disabled (even temporarily)? Yes.

2. Do the people you are travelling with, such as your family, know you are disabled? Yes.

3. Do you expect to meet anyone you know during this trip who may not know you are disabled. Probably No!

4. Do you expect to meet a bunch of people who you will probably never meet again in your life? Probably yes!

5. Is there any reason at all that you should care what these people think about you? Absolutely No!!

6. Will using a wheelchair or ECV make for a better vacation for you and your family? Absolutely YES!

I think the last is the most important.

Mike

 

[shades]

For shoes - if you can get her to sit down with you and look at Zappos.com - it may help you to find a style she likes. They have excellent customer service and are great about returns. You can buy her several pairs and she can wear them inside the house to figure out what she likes and return what she doesn't.

I'd look for the style she likes - slip-ons, etc. Try Nursemates - they seem to be lightweight and a favorite for ladies in her age group.

 

[SueM in MN]

You can buy her several pairs and she can wear them inside the house to figure out what she likes and return what she doesn't.

And have her wear them around for a while to break them in. There is nothing worse than having new shoes that end up hurting your feet or causing blisters.
For some people, it helps to think of the energy they have like a bank account. If she spends all her energy account just getting around, she won't have any energy left to enjoy herself. And, if she overspends one day, she won't have enough energy to get thru the next day.

 

[dj2]

don't take this the wrong way, but IMHO she's not too far off for the wheelchair being a "horrible" thing. well, it's very FUNCTIONAL (sensible), but it can have a big impact on emotions/feelings, how one feels about oneself. it's an adjustment. If she can handle an ecv (try one out in the supermarket/target/etc.), that would be MUCH preferable to a wheelchair (IMHO). The first time (a few years ago) i was pushed in a wc i felt somehow humiliated (i know that's not quite the right word, maybe dependent, reduced, limited, not sure how to express it). it was giving up a lot of control of where i wanted to go, even direction i wanted to look. i couldn't see the others in my group walking behind me easily, made conversations more difficult, etc. wheeling myself made it better, but i didn't really have arm strength to do that for distances. it got much better over time. i just used one again today to tour a musuem, and am way more comfortable with it now. but with the ecv comes much more independence. remember, it can be parked in a area that you'll be touring, she can walk around for awhile, then used it to get to the next area. and she can hold all your "stuff" to make life easier on everyone else.
-dj

 

[ndelaware]

We just got back from our second trip with my mother in the past year. She is 84 and just had a hip replacement three years ago. Before the first trip we started greasing the skids with her about using a wheelchair. She didn't relish the idea, partly because of how she would look in a wheelchair, but she also felt she would be a burden to us by having to be pushed around. We told her we would get one and she wouldn't have to use but we would have it just in case. We knew she would need it but telling her this made her much more receptive to the idea. Well we got her a chair and loaded all of our stuff in it so she could push it around. Kind of like a big "walker". She pushed our stuff around and pushed the kids around feeling pretty good. Well before not too long she said she was ready to use the chair for herself, got all the stuff out of it and pretty much stayed with it the rest of the day. After an hour or so of sitting she would push it again for a little while and then get back in. After a couple of days of this she was pretty comfortable and got into a routine of riding and walking. So much so we discussed renting a chair on our next trip so we would have it all the time instead of searching for one every day. Many days there were no chairs in the parking lot and we had to wait til we got inside the park. So before this trip she saw a chair being sold on QVC and grabbed one for herself. We just got back and she has really enjoyed herself on the trips where she used a chair. She still tries to do as much walking as she can but she likes having the backup the wheelchair provides.

I will say one thing on behalf of your Mom's side. When my mother was in her mid 70's she did a whole week at the parks without a chair and did great. We sometimes had to slow her down. After all she doesn't ride all the rides we do so she got to sit and wait for us an awful lot. And she was wearing plain old KEDS sneakers. Good luck to you, hope you guys can get this worked out.

 

[SueM in MN]

Well we got her a chair and loaded all of our stuff in it so she could push it around. Kind of like a big "walker". She pushed our stuff around and pushed the kids around feeling pretty good. Well before not too long she said she was ready to use the chair for herself, got all the stuff out of it and pretty much stayed with it the rest of the day. After an hour or so of sitting she would push it again for a little while and then get back in. After a couple of days of this she was pretty comfortable and got into a routine of riding and walking.

That is a very good idea.
It allowed her to be a bit less dependent and helped prevent stiffness and potential problems like blood clots that can happen with just sitting for hours.