Anxiety and OCD at the Parks

[EsmeCullen]

So I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. I love the Disney parks and how they give me a much needed break from reality, however I don’t get a break from my mental disorders. I’m usually fine on solo trips, but if I’m with a friend or a group, I end up having a somewhat miserable time because my ailments get the best of me if I do not have complete control of a situation or have to go at someone else’s pace. I had a panic attack when at Disneyland with my friend last year and I’m sure I came off as rude to my friend when it wasn’t my intention. Does anyone else go through this? How do you cope at the parks with anxiety and/or OCD?

 

[fabfemmeboy]

So I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. I love the Disney parks and how they give me a much needed break from reality, however I don’t get a break from my mental disorders. I’m usually fine on solo trips, but if I’m with a friend or a group, I end up having a somewhat miserable time because my ailments get the best of me if I do not have complete control of a situation or have to go at someone else’s pace. I had a panic attack when at Disneyland with my friend last year and I’m sure I came off as rude to my friend when it wasn’t my intention. Does anyone else go through this? How do you cope at the parks with anxiety and/or OCD?

Well, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with anxiety/OCD. My triggers are different than my partner's triggers are different than yours. For me, one of the things that can get to me at the parks is enclosed space/too much noise, so the DAS pass helps me quite a bit. One thing it isn't great for, though, is having control of what you do when or in what order, because you may have to skip around based on what line times are like. I have similar issues to what you described regarding going at someone else's pace, but there are only a couple options for that - either don't travel with people whose pace you aren't used to, or talk to your traveling companions ahead of time. I don't know, my coping mechanisms in the park tend to be largely the same as my coping mechanisms outside the park: taking breaks from crowds/noise when or if I need to, making sure I don't let my blood sugar crash as that can make me a lot worse, having a rough plan going in but knowing that plan may not happen exactly as I would like.

 

[gap2368]

So I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. I love the Disney parks and how they give me a much needed break from reality, however I don’t get a break from my mental disorders. I’m usually fine on solo trips, but if I’m with a friend or a group, I end up having a somewhat miserable time because my ailments get the best of me if I do not have complete control of a situation or have to go at someone else’s pace. I had a panic attack when at Disneyland with my friend last year and I’m sure I came off as rude to my friend when it wasn’t my intention. Does anyone else go through this? How do you cope at the parks with anxiety and/or OCD?

I have a few disabilities that can make me lash out at people normally it will be me with a loud panicky voice saying a few words like let's go now or go over there. People find when I do this that I am very rude and I can see why one thing I have learned is to be honest with people exspsily when I do to Disney and I know there is a good chance this will happen. forme, when I am overstimulated, is when it happens the most. I have worked very hard at recognizing when I am getting overstimulated and telling the people around me so they know I might lash out it does not help 100% of the time as I do lash out all of a sudden but it does help and it helps my friends to know I have a disability that I can not help but I am working on and so they just do not take it personally. I also let them know what they can do for me like if we are in a crowded place try and give me two options like would you like to wait over there where it is quiet or would you like to go look at things to distract you. if we know where are going to be in a crowded area then we try and set a little plan for it something happens

 

[mamabunny]

So I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and OCD. I love the Disney parks and how they give me a much needed break from reality, however I don’t get a break from my mental disorders. I’m usually fine on solo trips, but if I’m with a friend or a group, I end up having a somewhat miserable time because my ailments get the best of me if I do not have complete control of a situation or have to go at someone else’s pace. I had a panic attack when at Disneyland with my friend last year and I’m sure I came off as rude to my friend when it wasn’t my intention. Does anyone else go through this? How do you cope at the parks with anxiety and/or OCD?

I have a (now adult) kiddo who has to deal with this every time we go to Disney as a family, or if she goes with a group of her friends.

Some of her coping strategies have evolved over time; here's a few of the ones that seem to work best for her:

- Make sure that everyone in her traveling party knows she may have an anxiety or panic attack (she prefers to call them "flares" instead of attacks because - for her - they tend to flare up and then go away fairly quickly once she can regain control) and (this is important) what that may look and/or sound like. Most of the people she travels with already know, but with her friends, she still reminds them. She also reminds her travel party that *if* she does flare, she will be stopping wherever she, and whatever she is doing to try and manage that, and bring it under control.
- When she starts to feel anxious, she tries to stop wherever she is, and does a self-assessment to see if she can identify what's going on. (Obviously, this means possibly stepping out of line, or getting out of the flow of people, or leaving the table during a meal). Knowing *what exactly* is triggering makes a difference for her, and she can respond more appropriately and effectively.
- If she can identify what is causing the flare, and manage it: She does so, and continues on as soon as she can. (example: This QS dining area is crowded and noisy. I can take my food, and find a quieter spot, even if I have to sit on the ground a small distance away)
- If she can identify what is causing the flare, and has no control over it: She stays put until she can safely determine next steps. (example: There's too many people on Main Street because fireworks are about to start. I can't make them go away, but I can find a less spot to watch the fireworks, or I can leave the Park)
- If she can't identify what is causing the flare, (it's generalized, or there are too many possible causes) but she *can* determine next steps, she moves on. (example: I'm really stressed, and I don't know if it's the heat, the people, possible dehydration, or JTMD (Just Too Much Disney) for today, but I *can* leave the Park for a bit, and see if I feel better.)
- if she can't identify what is causing the flare, *and* she can't determine next steps because it's too overwhelming, she sends a 911 to one member of her party (whoever she feels most comfortable with in that moment). Typically, 911 means we (her and 1 other person) go back to the Disney Resort Hotel directly, do not pass Go, so that she can have some time to recover. The 911 persons' job is simply to help her back to her "base" and make sure she has whatever she needs, like cold water, or a dark room to lie down. On occasion, just getting out of the Park for a bit is all she needs, and she can go back and rejoin the group, but other times, she needs a couple of hours at base to fully recover.

Here's an example: The last trip we took together, she had a big, fast flare right before we were supposed to go into SciFi Diner at HS for dinner. They called our party, and it just happened. She said "flare", walked away, stepped outside, found a place across from the entrance, and texted me that she would come in as soon as she could. We told the CM that was seating us to go ahead, that she had a phone call, and they seated us. When she was ready to join us, she texted and one of our party walked out to escort her back in (and told the CM he was going to take her back to our table). She felt shaky for a bit, but was able to enjoy the meal, and the rest of the evening.

While she was outside, she just stopped, and leaned against the wall, and took some deep breaths. She had been to SciFi before, so she knew what to expect, but she identified (in this case) the noise from the "movies" and the idea of not being able to see everyone in her party while seated in the cars was stressing her. Once we were seated, and we texted her that we were at the group table at the back left corner, and not seated in the car booths, she felt she was able to join us. No one knew until that time that the car booths were a cause of anxiety for her, and so we had never asked before for any special seating arrangement at that TS location. Now, in the future, she knows that she will do better if she can sit at either the little umbrella tables at the back, or at the group tables on the far left. Because she had the grace, and the time to step away, and figure that out by herself, and then rejoin us, it happened, it was dealt with (and we learned something) and we were all able to continue on for the rest of the evening, together.

Another thing she learned from that particular flare was that she most likely has issues with claustrophobia, and applying that to her next 2 trips (both of which were just before the Parks were shut down due to the pandemic, and I was not with her on those trips) she avoided certain circumstances that - in the moment, or historically - were flares that indicated claustrophobic conditions. As a result, she felt much more in control, and when she told her friends, they had no problem with changing plans to help accommodate her claustrophobic issues.

And the last strategy that she employs is pretty simple: She only travels when there is at least one person who she knows will 100% have her back, no matter what. She needs that reassurance that there will be one person with her who will always be there for her. As her mom-person (she is not my bio-child, but she is one of my heart-children, who I get the joy and honor to be Mom to) she knows that I will always, always be there for her, and so when we travel together, she selects me as her backup. She sometimes selects one of her "sisters" (one of my other heart-children) or my bio-child if I am not traveling with them. But if there is no one in the group who she knows will 100% no matter what be able to walk away from whatever is happening and support her? She won't go, because she now values her mental health enough to know that it's not worth it.

She has had a long, hard road with her flares. She has gone through many hours of counseling, starting when she was barely a teenager. As an adult, she has come to realize that no trip anywhere is worth being so miserable, and so has started taking these kinds of proactive steps to make herself more comfortable when she travels. It has taken time, but she has tried to learn from every flare, so that she can hopefully control all of them in the future, and if not, will be able to minimize them as much as possible.

One of the worst things about her flares were that she would flare... about her flares. She recognized these as "circular flares" and knew that they were self-defeating. Once we were able to move past that - which happened only with time, understanding, patience, and yes - a lot of love from everyone around her - she has begun to be able to enjoy her time everywhere (museums, parks, malls, parties, etc.) much more, and with far fewer flares of all kinds. And, when they do happen, she is able to bring them under control quicker and more effectively.

I have lived on this planet long enough now to know that no two people are alike. What works for her may not work for you - and you need to remember that it has been a process for her: First she had to build her Ohana - her family - around her. Her bio family discarded her, but we found her, and added her to our family, and now she is ours. She has had to overcome her anxiety about her anxiety and panic attacks, and then learn those coping skills - make them reflexive - so that in the moment when she is flaring, she automatically starts her mental checklist: What is causing this feeling? What can I do about it? What is my next step? Who do I need to call (or text)? It took a long time, and we had some real adventures along the way where we all made some mistakes, but we just keep supporting her with love and patience, and things are better now. Not perfect, but better. Possibly most important is that she knows and accepts now that no one is perfect, and that it's OK to be different. Different can be your superpower, and hers is her sensitivity. I'm so proud of her, and her hard work, and the progress she continues to make.

I know it's scary when it happens, and I know that you just want to be able to go and do things like everyone else. I believe in you - I think you can begin to learn to manage your flares, with whatever group of strategies is right for you - and in time, you will look forward to your next Disney trip like I know you want to. (((hugs)))

 

[gap2368]

to go off of what @mamabunny just said about taking a break when you feel stressed. I can not think right when I am in my meltdown mode I have done too fair at that point so one thing I do is I set my alarm on my phone for like every 3 hours and I will find a quiet place to sit and think about my need am I hungry thirsty, have I been around too many people to much noise. ( I have a list of things that I either forget about like drinking water or things that can become too much for me like lots of noises) Most of the time this is just a 10-15 minute break but some times I wind up going back to the hotel to rest and just get away form everything some times it is just staying where I am and just taking a 30 or so minute break or it might be doing something low keys like carousel of progress or the people mover

 

[cobright]

I've been working through my Anxiety Disorder for 20(ish) years now, and I don't even pretend to know your condition. But... It sounds like your OCD is serving as a coping mechanism for your anxiety disorder. I don't know, I developed the opposite of OCD, ataraxia, mostly for the same purpose. So maybe keeping the AD in check can help control the OCD as well.

Here's my best advice... Vacation days are not like regular days. It seems like a silly thing to say, but the ramifications are not intuitive.

Every regular day, we wake up and we do the work of recovering from or coping with our anxiety disorder. We mostly encounter the same(ish) set of stressors day in and day out in different amounts. So our work finds what works and how much of that it takes, and we put these skills or these pills in our toolbox (figurative and literal).

We work with professionals to keep our perspective accurate and to adjust our meds, if needed. At a point, maybe we have a long way to go still or maybe we're bopping along with a solid grip on our AD, we think we have some sort of handle on how our world works. So we think going on vacation is going to be a lot like a regular day, just maybe more so.

That was my hard learned lesson, thinking quantitatively. My first real vacation with an AD was camping, away from crowds, away from people, should have been perfect. A vacation day is different from a regular day, qualitatively.

Talk to the professionals involved in your care specifically about differences in your normal approach to your AD that might be appropriate for the special circumstance of your upcoming vacation. If you take anxiety meds and your dosage has been titrated lower and lower over the years because you're able to function well at a lower dose, ask if ramping the dosage up a little prior to the trip and down afterwards would be appropriate. Or if a fast acting anxiolytic would be helpful to have on hand while traveling. Work with your therapist specifically on strategies for dealing with new stressors.

A couple of practical tips...

• If your friends don't understand AD, or you're not comfortable sharing, it's okay to use some other reasoning as a proxy to get the accommodation you need. So, maybe having complete control is asking too much, but if you're with a friend who is intent on planning the day down to the minute, and you don't feel able to get this friend to understand your needs, take a potty break then hit the first aid station and request an anti-diarrheal tablet. Then, with a touch of regret, inform your friend that you might need to keep the schedule flexible.
• Some aspects of your attraction experiences can be adjusted if you ask. It's always fair to ask. It's best to make an ask as early in the line as possible, waiting 'till the end gets you the busiest most pre-occupied CM. An example... I went with a friend who was colorblind and we would ask for a yellow ride car when possible because color contrast was better. No CM even batted an eye.
• If crowd entrances, like haunted mansion, bother you, asking to be the first person let in is considered really rude ... but ... asking to be the last person let in is never frowned upon by anyone and gets you much the same benefit (not having to jostle, shoulder to shoulder, through the dark surrounded by strangers). *** Yes... not many crowd scenarios likely till the pandemic settles down.

There ya go... maybe among all those words is some mote of hope. I hope so. No promises.