Another wedding what 'would you do'?

[Ephany]

We received a wedding invite from DH's cousin. The thing is it's not addressed to us as a family or even DH for that matter. It's addressed to Ryan Smith. DH's name isn't Ryan, nor are any of his siblings. In fact no one in his family is named Ryan and he spent the majority of his summers growing up on his grandparents farm with said cousin so she should be well aware of his name. We think it's funny and since this is her 4th engagement in as many years and DH and cousin haven't spoken in a decade we don't have any plans to attend the wedding. It's also out of state and we'd most likely not be able to get the time off anyway, so it's a moot point on that front.

Here's where the opinions differ. I think we should send a card, DH wants to just pretend we didn't get an invitation (technically we didn't according to him), but his mom wants us to either send a $$ present or attend. This cousin didn't attend or even acknowledge our wedding or any of DH's siblings so we both feel the invitation is more hunting for presents (cousin is an only child and is the prime example of 'snowflake'). This won't cause a big family feud no matter what happens, we live too far away to be involved in drama. I'm sure that the wrong name was just jitters and it doesn't mean anything. I'm just curious what other folks would do.

 

[Sparx]

i agree with your dh. don't know my name? no card for you.

 

[Chelley00]

I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith"

 

[N&B'smom]

Is it POSSIBLE that they just messed up the names, maybe looked at the list and by accident saw the next person's first name but put your last name?? Something like that???

 

[disneychrista]

I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith"

I like this. A simple congrats on your wedding card, no money or gift. Maybe Walmart as one of their 48 cent cards that can be used for this.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith"

Yep, same here!

My family's boring. I never get to experience these fabulous, off-the-wall wedding scenarios. I'm jealous!

 

[Ephany]

Is it POSSIBLE that they just messed up the names, maybe looked at the list and by accident saw the next person's first name but put your last name?? Something like that???

I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case. No hard feelings for the bride honest, like I said we think it's funny, not a malicious act on her part or anything.

 

[DebbieB]

I think it's rude not to respond, so I would just send the RSVP with a decline. I think an empty wedding card is kind of "sending a message", I wouldn't send it. If she didn't attend or acknowledge yours and you have not had any contact, I would not feel obligated.

 

[Handbag Lady]

OOoh, I love these, thank you!


I would send a card and sign it, "Ryan Smith."

 

[The Mystery Machine]

With me it would be placed in the circular file and forgotten. I would do this even if the name was correct.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I think it's rude not to respond, so I would just send the RSVP with a decline. I think an empty wedding card is kind of "sending a message", I wouldn't send it. If she didn't attend or acknowledge yours and you have not had any contact, I would not feel obligated.

 

[teacups]

I said other. I'd tell the mom who wants you to send money, to send the money for you if its that important to her.

 

[TaraPA]

My guess is that someone else addressed the invites - someone either hired to do so, or just a friend helping out. I had a friend address mine that was great at calligraphy, so she wouldn't have had a clue if Ryan Smith really should have been Robert Smith!

In any event, I agree it's rude not to reply, but I'd just RSVP that no, sorry, you won't be attending. If you're not close then no card is necessary at all.

 

[Abbie]

OOoh, I love these, thank you!


I would send a card and sign it, "Ryan Smith."

Great idea!

We just married my DD off this summer and while reading your op, I was remembering how we oh-so-carefully checked, double-checked, and TRIPLE-checked the names and addresses on the invitations! I can't begin to imagine this was anything other than "don't really care, just send $$". I would rsvp, and send a lovely congratulations card and be done.

 

[NewCrew42]

OOoh, I love these, thank you!


I would send a card and sign it, "Ryan Smith."

 

[merryweather20]

I guess I don't see why you are ticked

It sounds like a simple mistake. You can triple and quintuple heck everything, but sometimes Murphy's law takes over. It wasn't a slight against your family.

I would have crossed out the name and address and returned it to the Postman. I understand you don't get on well now, but is it really bad enough that you wouldn't let her know this Mr. Smith might not have gotten his invite?

Now that you've opened it I'd drop her a line and let her know of her mistake, and apologize for opening it, you just saw her return address and didn't check the addressee.

 

[Minniemama350]

I don't think you have any obligation. She probably doesn't even remember whether or not she went to "Ryan's" wedding. Perhaps she was told to send him an invitation just as you were advised to send a present?Anyway... it doesn't sound like she will care.It is your MIL you might want to please though.

 

[Ephany]

I guess I don't see why you are ticked

I'm not (and neither is DH) honestly. We just thought it was funny. I hadn't considered an empty card might be a message in itself, so I'm glad that it was mentioned. If DH (his family, his decision) ends up wanting to send a card, I'll bring that to his attention and see where he wants to go from there. We'll be RSVPing that we're not attending at the very least, I know how much it sucks when you can't get people to give you a straight yes or no when you're planning a wedding and you're trying to get a head count.

 

[disykat]

How is a card without a gift a message? It IS a message - someone took the trouble to send them a card wishing them well. Not all well wishes have to come in the form a gift. A nice card that wishes a couple well but doesn't happen to include money is not "empty."

 

[MinnieMe87]

I'm snotty, so I'd probably send a card, put your DH's name on and under put "AKA Ryan Smith"

That is awesome!! Love it!