Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[Minnesota!]

We did free beer, soda and coffee/tea. Anything else was on your own. Beer/wine included and hard liquor being cash, sometimes with an open bar cocktail hour thrown in, are pretty common here in Wisconsin. I haven't been to many weddings with an open bar all night.

Who knew I was committing a major etiquette breach by not detailing this on my pretty wedding invitation.

MN and WI are pretty much twins when it comes to regionalism

Are you aware of how that place handled it? Keep everybody captive until their registers came back up? Send one member of the party to a nearby ATM for cash? Resort to the old method of running the credit cards on triplicate slips through the manual embosser?

We were at Menard's recently and the computers went down. They were cash only for a few hours. We had cash...I would say about 10% of people did. So much anger in people that day!

Another place we were...cannot recall where? Computers went down and they busted out the triplicate machine.

I try to always have $20-$40 on me.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

After reading the thread I guess it varies by location.

But I see it the same way as you do. I see it the same as when you invite someone to your house for dinner - or even out for dinner. You'd never charge your guest for part of the meal, especially such an integral part.

Alcohol is an integral part of a meal? Or a wedding reception?

 

[TheIncredibles!]

I've never been to a dry wedding, I've been to one cash bar wedding, and a wedding where there was only open bar at the cocktail hour, and beer and wine for the rest of the reception (very religious couple who didn't drink). A cash bar would be so out of the norm here, that I would expect to be given a heads up. I don't carry a lot of cash (I have 5 teens, who clean me out), but I always make sure I have singles for the valet, coat check and bar tips.

Agreed. I don't care what anybody does but if you go against the flow it's common courtesy to give people some notice so they can prepare.

 

[CPanther95]

When you go out somewhere do you call ahead to make sure there is liquor available?

If there was even the slightest chance that a restaurant that was open for dinner didn't have a bar, sure I'd call. But those places are few and far between - at least the ones without drive-thru service.

 

[CPanther95]

Alcohol is an integral part of a meal? Or a wedding reception?

Yes.

That's why restaurants have wine lists, beer menus, cocktail hours, etc.

It's as much a part of a typical evening meal as a salad or dessert.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Yes.

That's why restaurants have wine lists, beer menus, cocktail hours, etc.

It's as much a part of a typical evening meal as a salad or dessert.

Don't ever come to my house for dinner.

We rarely have alcohol during dinner.

 

[CPanther95]

Don't ever come to my house for dinner.

We rarely have alcohol during dinner.

If you come to my house, you'll be offered a drink - even if I'm not drinking.

 

[mjkacmom]

If there was even the slightest chance that a restaurant that was open for dinner didn't have a bar, sure I'd call. But those places are few and far between - at least the ones without drive-thru service.

We have SO many independent restaurants here that the majority don't have liquor licenses (which are limited), including many higher end venues. I prefer to bring my own wine anyway. We usually spend around $200 when DH and I go to our favorite local restaurants, so byo saves some money.

 

[cluvsdisney]

If there is no alcohol or only limited alcohol is being served, I don't think there needs to be any notice given...it is what it is. If there's a cash bar, I think it would be a great courtesy to let guests know so they know to have cash on them if they chose to buy their own drinks. I've only been to one wedding with a cash bar and found out there...we only had enough money for some tips and cab fare home. We found a cash machine but had we known, we would have been sure to stop on the way to the wedding or during the 1 hour delay waiting for the ceremony to start.

 

[CPanther95]

We have SO many independent restaurants here that the majority don't have liquor licenses (which are limited), including many higher end venues. I prefer to bring my own wine anyway. We usually spend around $200 when DH and I go to our favorite local restaurants, so byo saves some money.

I never bring my own wine because I wouldn't want to pay a cork fee for someone to screw off the lid for me.

 

[Jaime4004]

Alcohol is an integral part of a meal? Or a wedding reception?

Definitely not an integral part of our meals and I had no intention of paying for other people's alcohol at my wedding. We had a certain amount of cash for everything and that would be at the bottom of the list for me. We planned on a cash bar but MIL did not like that idea so she paid to open it, which was fine with me, it's her $$.

But an open bar is not expected here. I've been to every type of wedding listed. Usually word is out on what type of wedding it will be, I've never see it printed on a wedding invite. Probably the most common is an open bar at cocktail hour, then cash. I've been to dry weddings where people bring in their own flasks . Don't see the big deal in bringing cash, I always keep a $20 in my phone case. I haven't used it in months, but it's there. If I were a big drinker, I'd just stuff a little more in there before attending a wedding, just in case.

 

[msjprincess]

I'd probably like a heads up since it would be so out of the norm around here. I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar. I usually bring enough cash to tip the valet and the bartender and that's it.

 

[jrmasm]

Don't ever come to my house for dinner.

We rarely have alcohol during dinner.

I'm ok if you don't serve alcohol at dinner but if you do, don't charge me for it.

 

[msjprincess]

I'm ok if you don't serve alcohol at dinner but if you do, don't charge me for it.

MTE

To me charging for drinks is the same as charging for food. If you want to save money fine, just don't have alcohol at all.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I'm ok if you don't serve alcohol at dinner but if you do, don't charge me for it.

At a wedding you alwAys have the option of not partaking.

Again not talking about places that don't even offer free tap water.

 

[Hrhpd]

We had an open bar 30+ years ago. But most of my side of the family was coming from Europe and yes, a drink with dinner was an integral part of the meal.

However, a person is attending another person's party, so they really have no say on what is served at that party. I don't think the invitation is the place to list it, but the word should go out, be it the attendants spreading the word, the family spreading the word, etc if there is going to be a cash bar or no alcohol.

With the differences in things these days, I would just make sure I had cash before I went to any party. Better to be safe than sorry. And I would appreciate the opportunity to buy a drink if the wedding party could not afford it. I would rather a cash bar than a dry reception.

 

[mamamary]

When my nephew got married two years ago they didn't have any coffee with the cake. You either had alcohol, soda or water with it. We thought that was odd. When it was talked about with them a few weeks later they said they didn't drink coffee so they just didn't include it.

 

[jrmasm]

At a wedding you alwAys have the option of not partaking.

Again not talking about places that don't even offer free tap water.

You have the option of not partaking anywhere you go.

As I said, I am fine if weddings are dry. I'm also fine if only beer or wine are served. Heck, I can roll with a champagne toast only.

But don't offer me something and expect me to pay for it. That annoys me. It's like passing Oreos for dessert and charging for wedding cake IMO. Or offering upgrading parking or seating for a fee.

 

[mjkacmom]

I never bring my own wine because I wouldn't want to pay a cork fee for someone to screw off the lid for me.

The nice thing about restaurants with no licenses is they don't charge a corkage free - and one of my favorite summer wines comes with a cap! No shame!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I find it amazing how many people equate alcohol with wedding cake.

Alcohol is an extra. It can be a very expensive extra.

Wedding cake is a norm at a wedding. I've never been to a wedding without a cake.

What I find really funny is that I am coming from a place where I can't even eat at most weddings. And I certainly can't eat the cake. All of this due to Celiac disease. But people complain that others don't want to pay for their alcohol habit.