Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[aprilchem]

I've never heard of a cash bar at a wedding. I've been to tons of dry weddings (I come from a very religious family where the vast majority don't believe in drinking alcohol) and tons of weddings with beer/wine only, but never a dry wedding.

 

[leebee]

I think I've been to only a small handful of weddings with an open bar; around here it's usually cash bar, or wine and beer during the cocktail hour but if you want mixed drinks, you pay for them. At our wedding reception, we had a champagne toast and put 2 bottles of wine on each table, and we had a cash bar. I think it helps control the amount of alcohol consumed when people have to pay for their own drinks. Also, alcohol is a wicked money grab for the venue; when we were looking at reception sites, basically if they opened a bottle you had to pay for the entire bottle, even if they only poured one shot from it- and no taking-home the leftovers!

Usually when we go to a wedding/party/event, I put both my credit card and some cash in my purse, just in case. Heck, I went to a "Gala" for a local ballet company, an event with a show followed by a reception. Even they had a cash bar, and those tickets weren't cheap (and neither were the drinks- $9 for a glass of wine is pretty outrageous up here)!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Open bars are definetly the norm here . The last few weddings we attended had an open bar and a specialty drink featured.

Cash bars around here are considered tacky and hardly ever done
I was at one years ago and more than half of the guests left after dinner.

 

[tvguy]

I rarely have cash and often have nothing at all...not even a dollar.

At my son's wedding, after 10 pm, the open bar switched to a no host cash only bar. I can't imagine not having at least $20 on me. Around here there is a growing divide among places that take plastic, and those that are switching to cash only. A lot of small businesses just can't afford the fees they have to pay when folks use their rewards cards since the merchant, not the card issuer, pays that reward, some times 10% of the total charge.

 

[spinandmarty]

I am almost sixty, and have never been to a reception with an open bar, one reception I attended had an open bar for one hour before dinner, then it was cash bar after that. Often times they will have beer available and a bottle of wine on each table. If you want Liquor or Bottled beer you pay at a cash bar....

 

[scrapquitler]

It's been many years since I've been to a reception with a cash bar, and I don't remember if there's a proper etiquette.

If a couple has a cash bar, should this be indicated to guests in advance, either on the invitation itself, or as an insert card in the invitation? Or should nothing be said and let the guests be surprised?

The same applies if ONLY wine and beer will be available. (No hard liquor available even for purchase).

Or if it's going to be a totally dry reception, should this also be announced in advance?

I personally would never have a cash bar, but I'm OK with people who do. But I WOULD like to know about it ahead of time.

Whenever we go to a wedding, we always bring enough cash to pay for the amount of drinks we would normally drink, just in case. Even if there is an open bar, we know we need some cash to leave a tip for the bartenders.

Sometimes the invitation says open bar/cash bar, sometimes it doesn't. I can't think of a wedding that I've ever been to that didn't have at least wine/beer. Usually we have pretty good idea of what it will be because we usually know the hosts well enough to have heard about all the plans ahead of time, but even if we didn't hear ahead of time, you can usually guess based on the venue. Most venues that have open bar ALWAYS have open bar because it's built into the packages they offer. Other places never have open bar because it's the venue's policy. Regardless, we always come prepared.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Often times it's based on regional differences I think, just like food selections at weddings. In the South, weddings tend to be cocktail receptions. In the North, most weddings I've been to have massive cocktail hours with butlered hor d'oeuvres and food stations followed by 5 course plated dinners. Out West is a mixed bag.

 

[newbie2disney]

I've only been to one wedding with a cash bar that I can think of. DD is getting married in 6 weeks and we having an open bar with wine, mixed drinks, champagne (for the toast) and canned beer. The couple designed cute koozies as guest favors. We'll also have soda, lemonade and bottled water. Our invitations don't specify open bar or not on the invite.

 

[DeaverTex]

For eye-opening entertainment, do a search for "cash bar" on any of the dedicated wedding forums.

In my own extremely limited experience, I've never seen a bar at a wedding reception at all. One had a champagne toast, but other than that it was dry, and all of the other 8 or so (I've lost count, so that number changes occasionally) have been dry start to finish. I would think, though, that you should look at what people in general do in your area for invitations and receptions. Let that be your guide. You could also talk to whoever is printing your invitations. They probably have some insight.

 

[Aliceacc]

I think for the most part it's a regional thing.

Around here, it's an open bar. Period.

I have a good friend who moved from NY to FL. He married a girl who moved to FL from KS.

Their wedding was a conglomeration of 3 different regional cultures. You could see it in everything from the way people dressed to the way their surprise at the open bar to a million little things. None was more "right" than the other, but there were absolutely lots of differences.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Open bar always. For every occasion. I think for us it's more cultural. Im latina and our circle is 98% Latino.

 

[Tozzie]

It is a regional thing because I have never been to a wedding that had anything other than an open bar. That being said, I went to my cousins wedding last night, he does not drink as he is a Mormon, so is his bride and her family, all of my family is Catholic he converted, we were not sure if the wedding would be dry or not but it wasn't there was an open bar but the toast was sparkling cider.

 

[disneymommy13]

A cash bar at a wedding is acceptable if you tell your guests what to expect. My family went to my cousins wedding and it was a cash bar (cash only no credit cards) it was at a farm, so no atm near by. No one was expecting this since every wedding in our family is alway some sort of open bar. Long story short, everyone was thankful that my grandparents always carried lots of cash.

 

[sonnyjane]

A cash bar at a wedding is acceptable if you tell your guests what to expect. My family went to my cousins wedding and it was a cash bar (cash only no credit cards) it was at a farm, so no atm near by. No one was expecting this since every wedding in our family is alway some sort of open bar. Long story short, everyone was thankful that my grandparents always carried lots of cash.

I agree with many other posters (just quoting this one because it's the most recent to prove the point haha). I don't have cash with me typically, if I do MAYBE it's a $20 and that's all (and $20 won't get me through a 4-hour wedding haha). I don't care if you do a cash bar honestly (I like it better when it's open bar!) but if you DO a cash bar, you have to say so on the invitation.

 

[spinandmarty]

the thing that is astounding to me is how many people say they don't carry money, I know a lot of people usually pay with debit cards, as do I. But I always try to keep 50 to 75 dollars in my money clip in front pocket, and usually keep one or two 100's stashed away in wallet for emergency's, usually try to make sure wife has one too... it's not always easy to do cause I am for sure not rich... Just feel more comfortable cause you never know what can happen

 

[Aliceacc]

I pretty much never have more than $30 or so with me. And if I'm going to a wedding, I throw some singles into my tiny little dress purse to use as tips for the valet and the bartender. Because, once again, around here there's always an open bar.

We considered not having an open bar for the adults at my daughter's Sweet 16, but decided that we would have one there as well. It's simply part of throwing a party around here.

 

[smokeyblue]

The only thing I've seen spelled out on an invitation before is Cocktail Hour, Cocktails and Hors D'oeuvres, Dinner or Drinks and Dancing . . .

I gotta say where I live 80+% of the wedding receptions are held at Fire Halls, National Guard Armories, Hockey Rinks, VFW's, Elk's Lodges, etc. Beer is usually served from a trailer brought in from the local distributor. If they are at a hotel or other venue, I've never seen an open bar, wine and beer served only with cash bar. I know enough to bring cash with me, (and in my younger days an ID) if I am going to a reception at one of the local hotels, and I am never one to carry cash.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

We did free beer, soda and coffee/tea. Anything else was on your own. Beer/wine included and hard liquor being cash, sometimes with an open bar cocktail hour thrown in, are pretty common here in Wisconsin. I haven't been to many weddings with an open bar all night.

Who knew I was committing a major etiquette breach by not detailing this on my pretty wedding invitation.

 

[clori]

I had an open bar for the most part. I somehow missed one part and either it was after hours or after x time on a Sunday night (say 11PM) it somehow switched to cash bar. At that point it was really just family and close friends left that were spending the night at the reception location which was a hotel. My niece who was 10 went to my brother (her uncle) and told him she tried to get a drink (obviously non alcohol) and was asked for money. My brother went over and took care of it by telling the bartender it was just family left and to just keep a tab open and even told him it was fine to stop alcohol since people just wanted cold drinks by then. Dh and I were confused since we had no idea why it turned into a cash bar esp. when people were just asking for soda/water by then.

 

[sonnyjane]

the thing that is astounding to me is how many people say they don't carry money, I know a lot of people usually pay with debit cards, as do I. But I always try to keep 50 to 75 dollars in my money clip in front pocket, and usually keep one or two 100's stashed away in wallet for emergency's, usually try to make sure wife has one too... it's not always easy to do cause I am for sure not rich... Just feel more comfortable cause you never know what can happen

Can you give an example of an emergency scenario that would require $50 cash where cards couldn't be used? (Legitimately curious to see if I'm missing something). If I am going somewhere that tipping is involved, or buying something on Craigslist etc. I'll have cash, but otherwise I prefer debit.