Another tacky invitation

[mumom95]

Ok, so who thinks this is tacky.

I received an invitation to a Bachelorette party today for my future sister in law (I don't know her that well, and am not particularly close to my brother in law). The bride herself is throwing it. She sent out the invitation. Along with the invitation is a sheet of paper that says Bachelorette Party Lingerie Suggestions. It goes on to give the bride's bra size, favorite colors, favorite lingerie styles, and then it lists 10 Victoria Secret online items that she would like. It has the actual skew numbers and everything.

This is the same bride that included where she is registered with her wedding invitation.

Now, I'm one who likes registrys, it makes gift giving easier. But actually giving a list of items you want on the inviation, to me is very tacky. Not to mention she is throwing it herself. Plus, I didn't realize you were supposed to bring nice gifts to a bachelorette party, I thought it was supposed to be more gag gifts. I don't know if she had a shower, if so, I wasn't invited.

The thing is, I can't make the party (she knew before she sent the invitation). But since she still sent it, and it included the list, does this mean I have to send a gift anyway? I could see her sending me the invite, even though she knew I couldn't go, so I wouldn't feel left out. But since she included the list of items, does that mean I'm expected to send a gift anyway?

 

[budbeerlady]

A: Its tacky, doesnt she have any friends who would throw this thing for her.

B: Its supposed to be fun/ funny stuff for a gift. Who registers for a bachlorette party?

C: If you cannot make it you are not required to purchase a gift.

 

[Lureen]

Wow! That is crazy tacky!

I just can't imagine buying another woman a bra. I hate buying (and wearing) them for myself.

I never even heard of bachelorette party gifts except on the DIS. 'Round here, paying for a girl's night out is all anybody does for the bachelorette.

 

[Passions71203]

who would tell everyone their bra size?? Not me

 

[shirleyb]

I thought bachelorette parties were just to go out and have a good time. Never knew gifts were involved!!!

Very tacky.

 

[nataliela]

A: Its tacky, doesnt she have any friends who would throw this thing for her.

B: Its supposed to be fun/ funny stuff for a gift. Who registers for a bachlorette party?

C: If you cannot make it you are not required to purchase a gift.

But I have heard of people registering for bachlorette parties???
I don't think its right, but a lot of proper etiquette has gone out the window lately.

I have a couple of girlfriends getting married this summer and I plan on giving them some nice body lotion for a gift.

I'm not too big on gag gifts...I would rather give them something they will use....although some will use the gag gifts

 

[DarthKTrava]

who would tell everyone their bra size?? Not me

Or their undies size.

No show, no gift. I've never heard of giving stuff at a bachelorette party. Usually the bride's "girlfriends" all take her out to eat and then try to get her drunk.

Just like the guys like to take the groom to a strip club and get HIM drunk....

 

[lilyv]

I'd just get her a VS gift card, pop it into an envelope with a nice card, mail it, and call it square. I'd also make absolutely certain I had a previous engagement....would love to come, but not possible.
Guess you could say I have a policy against shopping for bras for anyone other than me.

 

[cinmell]

A: Its tacky, doesnt she have any friends who would throw this thing for her.

B: Its supposed to be fun/ funny stuff for a gift. Who registers for a bachlorette party?

C: If you cannot make it you are not required to purchase a gift.

A: Agree

B: Agree

C: Agree

 

[okeydokey]

Was there, or will there be a wedding shower as well? If you gave a gift for a shower, I feel your obligation is done. I would reply thatnks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it.

 

[budbeerlady]

Around here (here being lower MI) we get together at a house first or hotel room. We crack open a few bottles of wine and the bride to be opens gag gifts or really, really smutty clothing items. Then we usually eat and head out to the bar.

Its the time to really give quiet the interesting gifts to your friends. (I ended up with many items I had never seen before. Thanks guys! LYMI) The usual edible underware, handcuffs, feathered lingerie, etc. Throw some condoms in for good measure and its a wonderful time!

 

[mumom95]

Was there, or will there be a wedding shower as well? If you gave a gift for a shower, I feel your obligation is done. I would reply thatnks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it.

I don't think there will be a wedding shower. The wedding is in a couple of weeks and as of yet I haven't heard of any. So either there isn't one, or I wasn't invited.

She has a maid of honor and 3 bridesmaids, so I'm guessing she has friends. I don't know why they aren't throwing the party (it's at the bride and grooms house) It is the groom that doesn't have any friends, he is only have a bestman (my husband, his brother) and no other groomsmen.

Maybe I'll just put a VS giftcard in a card and send it to her. I've already thanked her for the invitation but told her I can't make it (which she knew before she sent the invite).

 

[StrollPatrolMom]

Since you know her size, I'd probably send the tackiest piece of "lingerie" I could find from Frederick's of Hollywood.

 

[pearlieq]

Giving lingerie isn't totally uncommon around here, but it's mostly from people close to the bride--not the SIL you barely know. I got a pretty peignoir set from a close friend and I gave my best friend a frilly little thing when she got married.

I think including sizes and a wish list on the invite is a bit much.

Unless you're feeling especially generous, I wouldn't bother sending a gift or even a card, really. It's not that kind of party. Just send your regrets and wish them a good time.

 

[Beth76]

The thing is, I can't make the party (she knew before she sent the invitation). But since she still sent it, and it included the list, does this mean I have to send a gift anyway? I could see her sending me the invite, even though she knew I couldn't go, so I wouldn't feel left out. But since she included the list of items, does that mean I'm expected to send a gift anyway?

She probably just assembled all the invitations and then addressed them. Although, the rest of the invite is tacky so maybe she does want a gift from you as well. Seriously though, you can't go, there's no need to send a gift. The wedding would be a different story, but not the self-thrown bachelorette party.

 

[poohandwendy]

Yep, tacky. Tell your SIL-to be she wins the 'exceptionally tacky' invite award.

 

[Kathi OD]

I'm a little confused, or maybe we just do things a little different around here.......but when did you start giving gifts at a Bachelorette party??

 

[Linzybrooke]

Here Lingerie showers are not uncommon, but they aren't the same as Bachelorette parties. My bridesmaids threw me a Lingerie party in the spring while we were all in college, but my wedding wasn't until November. It was fun, and only my bridesmaids and close friends were invited. They it at one of my bridesmaids homes and we had spaghetti and cake, played a couple of games and chatted a whole bunch. I have attended several lingerie parties over the past couple of years, they aren't that uncommon. Heck, you can even get the invitations at most party supply stores and invitation websites.

I do think it is very odd to throw one for yourself. Ugh.

I would imagine that she assembled all the invitations at once, and then addressed them. Unless there is a personal message inside specifically to you I doubt that she meant to imply that she knew you couldn't attend but wanted to make sure you got her a gift anyway.

 

[java]

Bachelorette party and gifts???? She wins tacky tacky and NO you do not have to send a gift. Or wait - send her a nursing bra!!! Out Tacky her!

 

[kribit]

I thought bachelorette parties were just to go out and have a good time. Never knew gifts were involved!!!

Very tacky.

I got some joke gifts, but they were things I wouldn't mention here. I did get some naughty nighties but they were not Victorias Secret. I think they were apple flavored fruit roll up. No I did not wear it.