Another tacky invitation

mumom95

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 5, 2006
Ok, so who thinks this is tacky.

I received an invitation to a Bachelorette party today for my future sister in law (I don't know her that well, and am not particularly close to my brother in law). The bride herself is throwing it. She sent out the invitation. Along with the invitation is a sheet of paper that says Bachelorette Party Lingerie Suggestions. It goes on to give the bride's bra size, favorite colors, favorite lingerie styles, and then it lists 10 Victoria Secret online items that she would like. It has the actual skew numbers and everything.

This is the same bride that included where she is registered with her wedding invitation.

Now, I'm one who likes registrys, it makes gift giving easier. But actually giving a list of items you want on the inviation, to me is very tacky. Not to mention she is throwing it herself. Plus, I didn't realize you were supposed to bring nice gifts to a bachelorette party, I thought it was supposed to be more gag gifts. I don't know if she had a shower, if so, I wasn't invited.

The thing is, I can't make the party (she knew before she sent the invitation). But since she still sent it, and it included the list, does this mean I have to send a gift anyway? I could see her sending me the invite, even though she knew I couldn't go, so I wouldn't feel left out. But since she included the list of items, does that mean I'm expected to send a gift anyway?
 

budbeerlady

<font color=blue>I call DH The STREAK!!<br><font c
Joined
Apr 27, 2005
A: Its tacky, doesnt she have any friends who would throw this thing for her.

B: Its supposed to be fun/ funny stuff for a gift. Who registers for a bachlorette party?

C: If you cannot make it you are not required to purchase a gift.
 

Lureen

Free Thinker
Joined
Jan 15, 2003
Wow! That is crazy tacky!

I just can't imagine buying another woman a bra. I hate buying (and wearing) them for myself.

I never even heard of bachelorette party gifts except on the DIS. 'Round here, paying for a girl's night out is all anybody does for the bachelorette.
 

shirleyb

I'm a lot funnier in real life.
Joined
Jan 1, 2001
I thought bachelorette parties were just to go out and have a good time. Never knew gifts were involved!!!

Very tacky.
 

nataliela

<font color=green>I was about to start googling "e
Joined
Aug 21, 2005
A: Its tacky, doesnt she have any friends who would throw this thing for her.

B: Its supposed to be fun/ funny stuff for a gift. Who registers for a bachlorette party?

C: If you cannot make it you are not required to purchase a gift.
:thumbsup2

But I have heard of people registering for bachlorette parties??? :confused3
I don't think its right, but a lot of proper etiquette has gone out the window lately.

I have a couple of girlfriends getting married this summer and I plan on giving them some nice body lotion for a gift.

I'm not too big on gag gifts...I would rather give them something they will use....although some will use the gag gifts:scared1:
 

DarthKTrava

Carolina Panthers Fan
Joined
Jul 18, 2007
who would tell everyone their bra size?? :idea: Not me :sad2:
Or their undies size.

No show, no gift. I've never heard of giving stuff at a bachelorette party. Usually the bride's "girlfriends" all take her out to eat and then try to get her drunk. :lmao:

Just like the guys like to take the groom to a strip club and get HIM drunk....
 
  • lilyv

    <font color=green>I'm looking for a place that's n
    Joined
    Jul 2, 2007
    I'd just get her a VS gift card, pop it into an envelope with a nice card, mail it, and call it square. I'd also make absolutely certain I had a previous engagement....would love to come, but not possible.
    Guess you could say I have a policy against shopping for bras for anyone other than me. :laughing:
     

    cinmell

    <marquee><font color=blue>The first person to repl
    Joined
    Jan 17, 2000
    A: Its tacky, doesnt she have any friends who would throw this thing for her.

    B: Its supposed to be fun/ funny stuff for a gift. Who registers for a bachlorette party?

    C: If you cannot make it you are not required to purchase a gift.
    A: Agree

    B: Agree

    C: Agree
     

    okeydokey

    Frosty the Snowman scared me as a child.
    Joined
    Aug 9, 2006
    Was there, or will there be a wedding shower as well? If you gave a gift for a shower, I feel your obligation is done. I would reply thatnks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it.
     

    budbeerlady

    <font color=blue>I call DH The STREAK!!<br><font c
    Joined
    Apr 27, 2005
    Around here (here being lower MI) we get together at a house first or hotel room. We crack open a few bottles of wine and the bride to be opens gag gifts or really, really smutty clothing items. Then we usually eat and head out to the bar.

    Its the time to really give quiet the interesting gifts to your friends. (I ended up with many items I had never seen before. Thanks guys! LYMI) The usual edible underware, handcuffs, feathered lingerie, etc. Throw some condoms in for good measure and its a wonderful time!
     
  • mumom95

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 5, 2006
    Was there, or will there be a wedding shower as well? If you gave a gift for a shower, I feel your obligation is done. I would reply thatnks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it.
    I don't think there will be a wedding shower. The wedding is in a couple of weeks and as of yet I haven't heard of any. So either there isn't one, or I wasn't invited.

    She has a maid of honor and 3 bridesmaids, so I'm guessing she has friends. I don't know why they aren't throwing the party (it's at the bride and grooms house) It is the groom that doesn't have any friends, he is only have a bestman (my husband, his brother) and no other groomsmen.

    Maybe I'll just put a VS giftcard in a card and send it to her. I've already thanked her for the invitation but told her I can't make it (which she knew before she sent the invite).
     

    StrollPatrolMom

    <font color=blue>I'm happy to amuse myself, carry
    Joined
    Jul 4, 2007
    Since you know her size, I'd probably send the tackiest piece of "lingerie" I could find from Frederick's of Hollywood.
     

    pearlieq

    <font color=green>They can sit & spin<br><font col
    Joined
    Aug 3, 2004
    Giving lingerie isn't totally uncommon around here, but it's mostly from people close to the bride--not the SIL you barely know. I got a pretty peignoir set from a close friend and I gave my best friend a frilly little thing when she got married.

    I think including sizes and a wish list on the invite is a bit much.

    Unless you're feeling especially generous, I wouldn't bother sending a gift or even a card, really. It's not that kind of party. Just send your regrets and wish them a good time.
     

    Beth76

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 30, 2004
    The thing is, I can't make the party (she knew before she sent the invitation). But since she still sent it, and it included the list, does this mean I have to send a gift anyway? I could see her sending me the invite, even though she knew I couldn't go, so I wouldn't feel left out. But since she included the list of items, does that mean I'm expected to send a gift anyway?
    She probably just assembled all the invitations and then addressed them. Although, the rest of the invite is tacky so maybe she does want a gift from you as well. :rotfl: Seriously though, you can't go, there's no need to send a gift. The wedding would be a different story, but not the self-thrown bachelorette party.
     

    Kathi OD

    <marquee><font color=blue>The first person to repl
    Joined
    Aug 21, 2007
    I'm a little confused, or maybe we just do things a little different around here.......but when did you start giving gifts at a Bachelorette party?? :confused3
     

    Linzybrooke

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 6, 2004
    Here Lingerie showers are not uncommon, but they aren't the same as Bachelorette parties. My bridesmaids threw me a Lingerie party in the spring while we were all in college, but my wedding wasn't until November. It was fun, and only my bridesmaids and close friends were invited. They it at one of my bridesmaids homes and we had spaghetti and cake, played a couple of games and chatted a whole bunch. I have attended several lingerie parties over the past couple of years, they aren't that uncommon. Heck, you can even get the invitations at most party supply stores and invitation websites.

    I do think it is very odd to throw one for yourself. Ugh.

    I would imagine that she assembled all the invitations at once, and then addressed them. Unless there is a personal message inside specifically to you I doubt that she meant to imply that she knew you couldn't attend but wanted to make sure you got her a gift anyway.
     

    java

    <font color=darkorchid>I am embracing the Turkey B
    Joined
    Jan 18, 2005
    Bachelorette party and gifts???? She wins tacky tacky and NO you do not have to send a gift. Or wait - send her a nursing bra!!! Out Tacky her!
     

    kribit

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 21, 2006
    I thought bachelorette parties were just to go out and have a good time. Never knew gifts were involved!!!

    Very tacky.
    I got some joke gifts, but they were things I wouldn't mention here. I did get some naughty nighties but they were not Victorias Secret. I think they were apple flavored fruit roll up. :laughing: No I did not wear it.
     

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