Annie passed away. I have some questions, pg 6

[lucas]

I am so sorry.... Hope you are ok....

 

[mrsheppo]

So sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Annie.

 

[luvmydogs]

I am very, very sorry to hear about your beloved Annie, Dawn. It is so hard when such special members of our families leave us. You have all my best wishes for comfort and strength.

 

[Quinn222]

I'm so sorry.

 

[AllyandJack]

I am so, so sorry to hear about your Annie.

 

[Kitty 34]

Sorry to hear about your furry friend.

 

[crz4mm2]

I am sorry Dawn.
Hugs to you.

 

[Minniespal]

Very sorry for your loss.

 

[DawnCt1]

I am so haunted by this entire episode that I feel like someone is digging my heart out with a spoon. We took her Wednesday for her shoulder surgery. I told her that I would see her the next day. I didn't go because she was too sick and the vet thought that she wouldn't understand why I would come and see her and not take her home. Do you think that she thought I abandoned her? She got so sick so quickly in the last 48 hours with no answers, do you think she thought I took her someplace that made her sick? At the end, when she took her last breaths I had the option of putting her on a respirator. I thought that it would scare her to be intubated and it wouldn't buy her any life, just more time on this earth. I feel guilty that I didn't do enough. I know that sounds irrational but that's how I feel. The middle DSs and their friends dug her grave today. DH is on his way home and we will bury her with a little service. Lots of DSs' friends are coming. She really was not just my best friend but everyone's.

 

[dumboiu]

Oh Dawn.........I am so very sorry. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I understand what you are feeling as our dear Boxer, Heidi died almost 6 months ago. There hasn't been a day that has gone by that I have not thought about her (and shed many, many tears). Remember, Annie will always be in your heart....she is a part of you.

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

 

[Planogirl]

Dawn, I think it's normal to question your decisions once it's over. You followed your instincts and listened to your vet's advice. That certainly sounds like the right thing IMO.

I'm sorry about your furbaby.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Dawn, you're right, intubating her would not have changed the underlying disease process that caused her to die, and may very well have prolonged her (and your) stress and suffering. Try not to second guess the events that occurred. For one thing, you cannot change them; for another, you made the best decisions at the time with the information you had to work with (i.e. taking advice not to visit, deciding not to intubate, etc). I'm sure she knew you didn't abandon her, and was comforted by the fact you were there when she needed you the most - to be with her as she passed on. I think the fact that she died - as opposed to you having to make the decision to euthanize her - is pretty telling about the situation. (Perhaps she had a PE postoperatively??) I hope you can find peace in the coming days and weeks; I've been there, too.

 

[AllyandJack]

When we put our cat down, I had thoughts for weeks that maybe she wasn't really sick. Maybe there wasn't anything wrong with her and we killed her for no reason. Everything you're feeling is normal under the circumstances. As the days and weeks go by, you'll resolve them.

Putting Annie on a respirator wasn't an option. If it wouldn't help restore her to her usual self, there is no point. She would never come home on a respirator and Annie wouldn't want to stay in a cage at the vet's office. They always say that animals try and find a secluded place to die if they know it's coming. They're smarter than we all think and I have no doubt that Annie knew you didn't abandon her. Plus, you were there with her at the end. I chickened out when we put Patch down. I couldn't go. Deep down, I know she understands and doesn't hold it against me. Sylvia Browne always says that animals are a higher level spirit than humans. I believe that. Take one look at your pet's face when they see you doing something stupid and you know they're more highly evolved than we are. They know more than we think they do and understand things. I'm sure she knew she was with the vet and he was trying to make her better. She knew you couldn't stay with her while the vet tried to make her better, but you were there when it counted.

 

[cynsaun]

I am so haunted by this entire episode that I feel like someone is digging my heart out with a spoon. We took her Wednesday for her shoulder surgery. I told her that I would see her the next day. I didn't go because she was too sick and the vet thought that she wouldn't understand why I would come and see her and not take her home. Do you think that she thought I abandoned her? She got so sick so quickly in the last 48 hours with no answers, do you think she thought I took her someplace that made her sick? At the end, when she took her last breaths I had the option of putting her on a respirator. I thought that it would scare her to be intubated and it wouldn't buy her any life, just more time on this earth. I feel guilty that I didn't do enough. I know that sounds irrational but that's how I feel. The middle DSs and their friends dug her grave today. DH is on his way home and we will bury her with a little service. Lots of DSs' friends are coming. She really was not just my best friend but everyone's.

Dawn,

We just lost our beloved Duke a week ago today. It was heartwrenching to watch him suffering, and we wonder if there was anything we could have done to help him. We question our actions, thinking we could have done this or that to help him more. This week has been awful, and the emptiness in our home and our hearts is tremendous.

We have come to the conclusion that the best thing we could have done for him is let him go. He was tired, he was hurting, and he was so old. He is at peace now, and we know that he is running again and waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge.

Hugs to you.

 

[MickeyMouseGal]

Time does heal. Radar has been gone for one month today and Griffin for three and a half weeks. I'm trying really hard to focus on the many good years we all had together rather than the last few bad days. I have both of their ashes back now, and their collars are hanging on my wall next to their pictures. I had professional pics taken of them years ago... thank God. They're absolutely priceless now. (My siggie picture is one of those. I also had individuals taken.)

 

[DawnCt1]

Last night was gut wrenching. I have her in the garage because it was cooler than the house. She is in a child's pink sleeping bag and she looks at peace. DS 24 went out to the garage after it got dark and was sobbing. He brought her in the house because I never made her sleep in the garage and he couldn't leave her there. After a couple of hours I convinced him that it was best to take her back to the garage and on warm days and rainy days she actually liked to lie on the garage floor and watch the world go by. DS 27 came over and paced the floors for 20 minutes building up the courage to see her. We are all so heartbroken. One of DSs friends said he never saw a family so in love with their dog and he never saw a dog like Annie. Love makes the perfect dog even more perfect.

 

[Jeanny]

oh Dawn, I'm so sorry..... I am glad however, that you were able to get to be with Annie and that she was able to wait for you to be with her in her last moments, sad as it was. she's in a better place now with no pain at all.

 

[DawnCt1]

Time does heal. Radar has been gone for one month today and Griffin for three and a half weeks. I'm trying really hard to focus on the many good years we all had together rather than the last few bad days. I have both of their ashes back now, and their collars are hanging on my wall next to their pictures. I had professional pics taken of them years ago... thank God. They're absolutely priceless now. (My siggie picture is one of those. I also had individuals taken.)

I have some pictures of Annie but I wish I had more. I don't know how many would have been enough. She would go outside and then paw at the kitchen window when it was time to come in. I still have a muddy paw print on my window. I hope some day I can wash it off. I just can't stop crying.

 

[MickeyMouseGal]

I totally understand how your sons feel.
When I brought Radar home, I left him in the back of my Explorer. (The funeral home with the cremation service was a good hour drive and they were not open until the next day.) I was still in such shock about everything, I had a dream that night that the next morning I would go down to the garage and actually find him alive and waiting for me in the car. Of course, the second I woke up, I knew he was gone, but I WANTED it to be true so badly that in my subconscious I still believed it was possible.
*hugs again*

 

[crz4mm2]

I am so haunted by this entire episode that I feel like someone is digging my heart out with a spoon. We took her Wednesday for her shoulder surgery. I told her that I would see her the next day. I didn't go because she was too sick and the vet thought that she wouldn't understand why I would come and see her and not take her home. Do you think that she thought I abandoned her? She got so sick so quickly in the last 48 hours with no answers, do you think she thought I took her someplace that made her sick? At the end, when she took her last breaths I had the option of putting her on a respirator. I thought that it would scare her to be intubated and it wouldn't buy her any life, just more time on this earth. I feel guilty that I didn't do enough. I know that sounds irrational but that's how I feel. The middle DSs and their friends dug her grave today. DH is on his way home and we will bury her with a little service. Lots of DSs' friends are coming. She really was not just my best friend but everyone's.

No you did not make her sick by not visiting her. It was just that she was already sick and old and unfortunately, her time to go. Please please do not feel that you did not do enough for her. You gave her a wonderful life (as she did you) and you would not have done more by putting her on a vent. It would have increased her discomfort and only given YOU more time, not her.
You did absolutely THE RIGHT THING.

I am very sorry you had to do this. It is one of the hardest things we do.
To you and your family. I know you don't feel this way right now, but later, you will remember the good times you had with her.

Cathy