Annie passed away. I have some questions, pg 6

[MickeyMouseGal]

I have some pictures of Annie but I wish I had more. I don't know how many would have been enough. She would go outside and then paw at the kitchen window when it was time to come in. I still have a muddy paw print on my window. I hope some day I can wash it off. I just can't stop crying.

If you're anything like me, you won't.
When I put Griffin down, a drop of blood fell on my hardwood floor. When I mopped later that week, I had to go around that spot. It has since worn off, but there was no way I could bring myself to clean up that last little remnant of him.

 

[arminnie]

Oh so very young. Way too soon.

Losing my first cocker was the MOST PAINFUL experience I've ever had in my life. It was like being boiled in oil. I didn't think it would ever stop hurting, but it does.

Hugs and good wishes. She had a very good life with people who LOVED her.

Tricia

 

[eclectics]

I think it's human nature to second guess our decisions and wonder if we did the right thing. I know it's hard for you to believe this right now but you did everything humanly possible and anything different you might have done would not have changed things. Annie knew it was her time and from what I've read from your posts, she died with grace and dignity. Cherish your memories of her. We all grieve with you because a lot of us have been down that awful road you are on now. Take care of yourself.

 

[Divamomto3]

Dawn, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[mckryan]

Dawn, those first days are the worst. The absolute worst. There is a huge gaping hole in your heart, and you don't think you'll ever be able to fill it. The dog dish sends you into sobs. A clump of hair in the corner sends you into sobs. That muddy footprint sends you into sobs. I've been there, done that, and can still cry about it 5 years later. I know it's trite, but it does get better. Each day is a little easier than the previous one. Then, there will be one day that you make it through without crying. But, that doesn't mean that 5 years later you can't think about your precious girl and not start crying again, having that feeling as fresh as it was the day it happened. Every time someone posts about losing their pet, I always start crying because I remember the day it happened to me.

Deep in my heart, I know you did the right thing and Annie was waiting for you to be with her at the end. I understand why you didn't visit her because I would have done the same thing.

About two years after my Dugan died, we broke down and got another dog. Reilly is a crazy terrier, so different from my cocker, but he's a love. Dugan will always be my "first born," but Reilly is a great "third born."

It's obvious how much Annie meant to your entire family. Cherish those memories and dig out the pictures you have and tell stories about her. Hopefully she will come to you in a dream soon to let you know that she's okay and out of pain and waiting for the day that you can be together again.

 

[JustHolly]

I'm so sorry! I know how much you adored your "Baby."

I think it's so sweet that she "waited" for you to get there.

 

[Holly]

Dawn, I'm sorry.

 

[chell]

 

[diznygirl]

Dawn, all these feelings you are describing are so familiar. I had my cat for 14 years before she died of cancer....I still have a hairbrush with her hair in it that I keep wrapped up in my bedroom closet, along with her food bowl. And it was ages and ages before I could finally give away her carrier.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Someone told me once that your greatest joy is also your greatest sorrow. This is absolutely true. I wouldn't have wanted to love her any less to spare myself the heartache now.

 

[carrie_106]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my cocker spaniel, Lucky in April and it still hurts so much. Your puppy was so lucky to have had you for a mom. Take care.

 

[mylilnikita]

I am so sorry for your loss. I think as another poster wrote that she waited for you to get there before she passed away.

 

[DisneyDotty]

Dawn--You need to stop second-guessing yourself. You were an EXCELLENT pet parent--just re-read your original post. She was an important and integral part of your family. You did all you could for her--you could not have prevented her death. But you probably did bring a great deal of comfort to her in the end by "allowing" her to go on. Do not doubt that you were a caring and kind owner. As I said earlier, she was fortunate to have been a part of your family.
Your doubts are natural, but do not let them consume you.

 

[DawnCt1]

Dawn--You need to stop second-guessing yourself. You were an EXCELLENT pet parent--just re-read your original post. She was an important and integral part of your family. You did all you could for her--you could not have prevented her death. But you probably did bring a great deal of comfort to her in the end by "allowing" her to go on. Do not doubt that you were a caring and kind owner. As I said earlier, she was fortunate to have been a part of your family.
Your doubts are natural, but do not let them consume you.

Thank you Dotty....and everyone. I do need to stop second guessing myself. We had a lovely burial for Annie. All of DSs friends and of course BIL/SIL and her mother (the property owners of the plot) attended. I did okay. Then we drove in the drive way and I found myself almost saying, "watch out for Annie". I have to accept that she had a fatal disease with fatal consequences. DH reminded me that anyone on antibiotics who develops an aspiration pneumonia that ends in death in less than 12 hours really had no options, canine or human. She knew that I couldn't make the decision to "put her down". I could barely allow her to "go". What a kind, considerate dog she was. I would bet if I said "stay", she would have.

 

[skuttle]

I'm so sorry. We lost our Yorkie, Maggie, on November 2, 2005....she was hit by a car. I still feel guilt and catch myself going through a list of "What if's". I've gotten better, but I still have the guilt. I'm finally at the point where I can think about the good times and not cry. It takes time. We moved into our new house last weekend and I just keep thinking about how Maggie would be acting in here. And then I get sad that I'll have no memories of her in this new house. It's hard not to beat youself up over something like this, but try not too. Annie knew that you loved her very much and that you did everything you could do for her. Sorry to ramble...it's still hard for me, too.

 

[Disney Doll]

The hardest thing to do is to let them go, yet it is the final act of love that we can do for our darling furry friends.

Your Annie knew she was well-loved, have no fear. Dogs are very smart and "sense" more than we think.

to you. I have a 12 year old Springer Spaniel, Ted, who is my baby, and I know my day is coming and I dread it with every fiber of my being.

 

[Buckalew11]

Dawn,
I can only say that that all your worries and second guesses are pretty normal. I asked myself questions like those when Bucky died. I made the decision to put him down. Was it right? Was it time? Ugh. One never knows and you just have to trust yourself. Personally, I think your baby waited to see you and then died. I don't think it was anything you did at all. It was just her time. Trust yourself and use GOOD self talk. I asked myself some terrible questions that added fuel to my guilty fire. Please don't do that to yourself.

 

[Disneyrsh]

Was thinking about Annie's muddy paw print...

You could take a big, wide piece of clear packing tape, place it on top of the print, carefully peel it away and put it on a piece of watercolor paper and then have it framed.

There might be other kinds of sticky clear materials to do that with, but the tape was what came to mind...

 

[DawnCt1]

I can't begin to thank ALL of you for the outpouring of support that you have given me. Its always a comfort to know that I we are not the only ones who were devoted to our pet. What a strange, illogical relationship, to deeply love another species and have that love returned in so many ways. I am going to buy a grave marker and have her picture put on it. I am also going to buy one for my niece's dog who died in April. They were so nice to allow Annie to be buried there, its the least we can do. I found this; www.specialtypetproducts.com/Merchant2/Merchant.mv?Screen=PROD$Store.

I hope the link works. Its on black granite, comes in two sizes, 6"X9" or 9" X14". I am trying to think of a phrase that captures how we feel. "Friend" seem woefully inadequate. Any suggestions?

 

[DawnCt1]

I can't begin to thank ALL of you for the outpouring of support that you have given me. Its always a comfort to know that I we are not the only ones who were devoted to our pet. What a strange, illogical relationship, to deeply love another species and have that love returned in so many ways. I am going to buy a grave marker and have her picture put on it. I am also going to buy one for my niece's dog who died in April. They were so nice to allow Annie to be buried there, its the least we can do. I found this;

http://www.specialtypetproducts.com/Merchant2/Merchant.mv?Screen=PROD$Store.

I hope the link works. Its on black granite, comes in two sizes, 6"X9" or 9" X14". I am trying to think of a phrase that captures how we feel. "Friend" seem woefully inadequate. Any suggestions?

I have no idea why I couldn't get it to link. I tried twice.

 

[MickeyMouseGal]

How about 'Partners'. It also gives a subtle reference to Mickey and Walt.