And yet ANOTHER wedding gift question...

[Mouse House Mama]

Give them cash that you can aford then they can buy whatever they like wiht the cash. If you want to bring a gift to the wedding then order it online and bring it. Typically gifts are not brought to weddings, only cash is and gifts are given beforehand at the wedding shower.[/QUOTE]


Hmmmm...never heard that before. I have brought gifts to weddings before and there have been gifts on a table. Is that not proper etiquette?

I think it depends on where the wedding is. On Long Island there are no gift tables as we give money for weddings and gifts for showers. (99.95 of ths time) I know in other areas a gift table is very common and money would be a weird gift.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I was invited to a baby shower, i got the registry list, i think it was from walmart........anyway there was a 60 inch plasma tv on the list

How else is the kid going to watch all those Little Einstein tapes?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It's perfectly acceptable to bring gifts to a wedding. Most people put out a table and bring at least 1 car with a large trunk expecting that people will do so. However, it's generally easier for the guest to bring just an envelope.



I think whether you register/use china is sort of something you're either brought up with or not. None of my friends registered for china, and their families didn't use it when they were growing up. My family did. Not every day, or every week, but several times a year for nice dinners. I registered for china. I've, so far, used it twice. Both times have been when hosting Christmas dinner for DH's family. I like to set a nice table when I can.



For many patterns (mine for instance) it's these specialty items which are actually the most expensive pieces. Our 5 piece setting was about $90. The gravy boat is somewhat less than $200. Notably, we are still absent a gravy boat, but someday!

Again- that is not at all what people do here. I think you have to go by what is common for where you live. If you do decide to send a gift I would send it to arrive before the wedding. I also would buy the 2 settings and send them. I know I would rather someone spent less on an item if they could.

 

[diznygirl]

I have to admit that we registered for an expensive VCR (remember those? ) We had a particular uncle who was very into the electronics and, being a bachelor, would not have been caught dead buying us crystal or china.

We ended up with a cordless phone from him.

Maybe they registered with particular guests in mind, like we did.

 

[bumbershoot]

I think open bar/cash bar is another regional thing.

Oh yes indeed it is!

Here's a question, when people register for china, who actually ends up using it???

I do. Even though we didn't have much money growing up, when my mom remarried she got a set of china, and we used it often. I've inherited that china but it's not my style, so we registered for something that makes our eyes happy, and we do indeed use it.

I think that some people don't want it and don't register for it, and others don't want it but are told they have to register for it b/c of tradition, but there are those of us who love having and using it.

Maybe they don't know how a registry works?

For example- a coworker of mine recently got married, and beforehand she registered at 3 different stores. She had me look at her registry and I flipped!!! Her fiance thought it was a good idea to give people options on what to buy you- so they registered for several of the SAME things on EACH registry:

i.e.- three different toasters at Bed, Bath and Beyond, and then two toasters at Macy's. Two blenders at Target and 3 different blenders at Macy's.

It's definitely possible that's what they did!

It's also possible that the wedding registry is like baby registries, where as you are choosing things, it pops up possibilities of "if you like this you might like these things", and they might have just gone with those suggestions.

My friend had a baby, and she had 3 or 4 HUGE registries, and almost nothing USEFUL was on the registries. I didn't want to be annoying so I didn't say anything, and just bought a few cutesie things and a couple simple, always-used items. At the shower she didn't recognize the things I got from the registry (I was the only one at the shower who bought from ANY registry for her) and she told me they just went with the suggestions given from the site.

Too late at that point, but I couldn't help but think "you know I have a kid, why not just ask me what might have been useful, and what was just silly?" Seems easier than gettting 18,000 newborn sized pink frilly onesies, 3 sets of bottles, and Cold Play's CD of lullabies from a craz-expensive store (nothing against Cold Play or lullabies, but from an expensive place?).

 

[Maleficent13]

I think a better option jeafl is to give your MIL the money and let her shop for the wedding present. She gives such original gifts the bride and groom will never forget you!

 

[EthansMom]

Yes, you can purchase the china from a different place and then go into Macy's and have them mark it as "bought" on the registry.

Or give cash. Either option is a good choice.

 

[Jeafl]

I think a better option jeafl is to give your MIL the money and let her shop for the wedding present. She gives such original gifts the bride and groom will never forget you!

Can you IMAGINE what she would come up with????

 

[barkley]

I did this too. I registered for the same things at a couple of different stores, then I checked my registry online, and if something was purchased from one store, I took it off the registry at the other store. We also registered for normal things, but a few big ticket things, too- some people went in together and bought us big items (no projection TVs, though!!!).


Maybe they don't know how a registry works?

For example- a coworker of mine recently got married, and beforehand she registered at 3 different stores. She had me look at her registry and I flipped!!! Her fiance thought it was a good idea to give people options on what to buy you- so they registered for several of the SAME things on EACH registry:

i.e.- three different toasters at Bed, Bath and Beyond, and then two toasters at Macy's. Two blenders at Target and 3 different blenders at Macy's.



I told her, "You're going to get 5 toasters and 5 blenders woman!" She had no clue, and obviously her now DH didn't either. SO, we fixed it. I'm happy to report she did not end up with 101 toasters or blenders.

on the flip side-

we had a family member (young and neither he nor the bride had apart from living in college dorms, ever lived on their own, so they had no household goods) and when he and his fiancee registered it was for very basic stuff-but only in set's of 2. so-2 forks, 2 knives, 2-spoons, 2 plates, 2-bowls, 2-cups, 2-glasses, 2-napkins, 2 bath towels, 2 washrags...we joked that they were obviously not going to be having guests over and would be constantly washing dishes and doing laundry

my best friend still gives her mom a bad time about advising her close to 30 years ago to only register for non practical items, because-'there will always be someone who gifts a toaster or a mixer or a frying pan so registries are to give people some ideas outside the box'. she tells her mom 'yeah, we had no way to make toast or fry an egg or mix a cake BUT we could serve up raw eggs, bread and cake mix on any of a variety of stunning crystal serving dishes