And yet ANOTHER wedding gift question...

[Jeafl]

We are invited to the wedding of my cousin's daughter in July. Probably 95% of the time we give cash, but the bride and groom are registered at FOUR different stores, so I assume they need a lot of stuff. Including TWO 60-inch HDTV's, THREE digital cameras, TWO digital camcorders, and TWO Dyson vacuum cleaners, but that's another thread...

Anyway, the china that they want is at Macy's on sale for $132 a place setting. However, I found it online for almost half that. Is it tacky to order it online and just bring it to the wedding? If I order it online I am going to get two place settings, if I have it sent from Macy's I will probably just get one place setting because with the shipping it is over $150 and I hardly know these people. Does anyone know if Macy's will take it off their registry if you don't buy it there???

 

[goofinoff]

Given the fact that they registered for rediculous gifts, I would give cash.

 

[GJM]

Yes, I beleive Macy's will take it off the register - just stop in and let them know. I have done it before with other stores.

 

[pyrxtc]

Give them cash that you can aford then they can buy whatever they like wiht the cash. If you want to bring a gift to the wedding then order it online and bring it. Typically gifts are not brought to weddings, only cash is and gifts are given beforehand at the wedding shower.

 

[CF'er]

Can you order online and after it arrives take it or send it to the bride/bride's mom yourself before the wedding?

 

[goofinoff]

Give them cash that you can aford then they can buy whatever they like wiht the cash. If you want to bring a gift to the wedding then order it online and bring it. Typically gifts are not brought to weddings, only cash is and gifts are given beforehand at the wedding shower.[/QUOTE]


Hmmmm...never heard that before. I have brought gifts to weddings before and there have been gifts on a table. Is that not proper etiquette?

 

[cinmell]

Including TWO 60-inch HDTV's, THREE digital cameras, TWO digital camcorders, and TWO Dyson vacuum cleaners

Off topic but my mother would have beat my *** if I had put those items on my registry and then they would have promptly been removed from the registry.

Two 60 inch HDTV's? Two Dysons? THREE digital cameras?!?!? Really??? Are these gifts all for the bride and groom or are they trying to get some cool gifts for their friends? Dear Lord

 

[mickeyboat]

I would buy them, send them to the bride's home before the wedding and not say anything to Macy's about the registry. If they have more than enough place settings, they can return some to Macy's and put the money toward the TV!

Denae

 

[golfgal]

Give them cash that you can aford then they can buy whatever they like wiht the cash. If you want to bring a gift to the wedding then order it online and bring it. Typically gifts are not brought to weddings, only cash is and gifts are given beforehand at the wedding shower.

Depends on where you live, many, many people around here bring gifts to the wedding. It is very common.


As for the OP, YES, order it online, you can have it shipped to them from the online store too. I doubt they will care if it came from Macy's or wherever you found it. I think they would be THRILLED to get 2 place settings vs one. You could call Macy's and let them know however, it is REALLY nice to have a couple extra place settings so I don't think it will be an issue.

 

[Disney Doll]

Order it online, have it shipped to you, unpack it, wrap it and repack it and mail it to their house prior to the wedding.

Yes, you can bring gifts to the wedding, but it's a pain in the neck for the bride & groom. Yes, receptions places are usually prepared with a gift table, but it is a pain in the neck for the b ride & groom.

And yes, if you tell Macy's you bought 2 place settings, they will take them off the registry.

Did they order multiple things at every registry or did they put the same registry at several different stores, thus giving the impression that they want 2 or 3 of everything when in actuality they just repeated one registry at every store?

When I got married, I registered at 2 department stores, mainly beccause MIL told me that some people liked to at Macys and some liked to shop at Filene's. So I did the exact same registry at both places. This did not mean I wanted double the amount of stuff, I just wanted the same stuff to appear at both places so that people could find it in whichever store they preferred. But then again, I registerd for the "normal" wedding stuff...china ($50 per place setting), crystal, some small appliainces...not $4000 TVs.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Give them cash that you can aford then they can buy whatever they like wiht the cash. If you want to bring a gift to the wedding then order it online and bring it. Typically gifts are not brought to weddings, only cash is and gifts are given beforehand at the wedding shower.[/QUOTE]

Hmmmm...never heard that before. I have brought gifts to weddings before and there have been gifts on a table. Is that not proper etiquette?

It's a regional thing. It's very common in the NE to give money at a wedding and gifts at the shower.

I've seen a few gifts at weddings here, but it's mostly money.

I think open bar/cash bar is another regional thing.

 

[mjkacmom]

Around here, you either bring a check to the wedding, or have the item shipped to the couple's home beforehand.

 

[barkley]

i'de just order it on-line and take it with me.

btw-my china pattern was 25% of the price macy's charged at the mikasa outlet store. the one local to me did'nt carry my pattern because it was too close to macy's (and macy's has a contract to prevent certain patterns from being sold within a so many mile radius) but they were kind enuf to order it from one of their other locations. i ended up filling out all my settings at a fraction of the price

btw-it's perfectly acceptable instead of a full place setting to purchase one of the less expensive single items in a pattern. we received our coffee pot, creamer, sugar bowl and gravy boat as individual wedding gifts.

 

[eh24fan]

Here's a question, when people register for china, who actually ends up using it???

 

[ZephyrHawk]

It's perfectly acceptable to bring gifts to a wedding. Most people put out a table and bring at least 1 car with a large trunk expecting that people will do so. However, it's generally easier for the guest to bring just an envelope.

Here's a question, when people register for china, who actually ends up using it???

I think whether you register/use china is sort of something you're either brought up with or not. None of my friends registered for china, and their families didn't use it when they were growing up. My family did. Not every day, or every week, but several times a year for nice dinners. I registered for china. I've, so far, used it twice. Both times have been when hosting Christmas dinner for DH's family. I like to set a nice table when I can.

btw-it's perfectly acceptable instead of a full place setting to purchase one of the less expensive single items in a pattern. we received our coffee pot, creamer, sugar bowl and gravy boat as individual wedding gifts.

For many patterns (mine for instance) it's these specialty items which are actually the most expensive pieces. Our 5 piece setting was about $90. The gravy boat is somewhat less than $200. Notably, we are still absent a gravy boat, but someday!

 

[beckmrk04]

Did they order multiple things at every registry or did they put the same registry at several different stores, thus giving the impression that they want 2 or 3 of everything when in actuality they just repeated one registry at every store?

When I got married, I registered at 2 department stores, mainly beccause MIL told me that some people liked to at Macys and some liked to shop at Filene's. So I did the exact same registry at both places. This did not mean I wanted double the amount of stuff, I just wanted the same stuff to appear at both places so that people could find it in whichever store they preferred. But then again, I registerd for the "normal" wedding stuff...china ($50 per place setting), crystal, some small appliainces...not $4000 TVs.

I did this too. I registered for the same things at a couple of different stores, then I checked my registry online, and if something was purchased from one store, I took it off the registry at the other store. We also registered for normal things, but a few big ticket things, too- some people went in together and bought us big items (no projection TVs, though!!!).


Maybe they don't know how a registry works?

For example- a coworker of mine recently got married, and beforehand she registered at 3 different stores. She had me look at her registry and I flipped!!! Her fiance thought it was a good idea to give people options on what to buy you- so they registered for several of the SAME things on EACH registry:

i.e.- three different toasters at Bed, Bath and Beyond, and then two toasters at Macy's. Two blenders at Target and 3 different blenders at Macy's.



I told her, "You're going to get 5 toasters and 5 blenders woman!" She had no clue, and obviously her now DH didn't either. SO, we fixed it. I'm happy to report she did not end up with 101 toasters or blenders.

 

[Jeafl]

Did they order multiple things at every registry or did they put the same registry at several different stores, thus giving the impression that they want 2 or 3 of everything when in actuality they just repeated one registry at every store?

.

NO NO NO! They registered for 3 DIFFERENT digital cameras, 2 DIFFERENT TV's, and 2 DIFFERENT Dyson's, all from the same store! They want multiples of everything!

They registered at 4 stores, and each store had different stuff. When the woman at Bed, Bath and Beyond printed out the registry she said "Oh my gosh! This is like a book!" It was literally 1/2 an inch thick!

 

[npmommie]

I was invited to a baby shower, i got the registry list, i think it was from walmart........anyway there was a 60 inch plasma tv on the list

 

[MAKmom]

Give them cash that you can aford then they can buy whatever they like wiht the cash. If you want to bring a gift to the wedding then order it online and bring it. Typically gifts are not brought to weddings, only cash is and gifts are given beforehand at the wedding shower.

That is not true in this part of the country. Gift are brought to the wedding. Only shower gifts are given at the shower

 

[shirleyb]

I think a better option jeafl is to give your MIL the money and let her shop for the wedding present. She gives such original gifts the bride and groom will never forget you!