And Now for Something Completely Different....

[Desiree]

I love the lumberjack song! I have that as one of my ringtones!!!

 

[WildernessBride]

I love the lumberjack song! I have that as one of my ringtones!!!

Classic....I wish I was a girlie just like my dear mama!!!!

 

[mm_ja]

SAY NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also enjoyed How Not To Be Seen, in that scene when they ask "Mrs. Smegma please stand up" then I found out what smegma was

 

[WildernessBride]

SAY NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also enjoyed How Not To Be Seen, in that scene when they ask "Mrs. Smegma please stand up" then I found out what smegma was

Python can be educational too!!!!

 

[NMAmy]

Python can be educational too!!!!

Oh, absolutely. I can sing you lots of information on Oliver Cromwell due to one of the Python songs on my Python Sings cd.

 

[legalsea]

I also vote for The Cheese Shop.

Cleese: Do you, in fact, have any cheese on the premises?
Clerk: No, sir. I was deliberately wasting your time.
Cleese: Then I'm going to have to shoot you.
Clerk: very well sir.
(bang!)
Cleese: What a senseless waste of human life.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Ministry of Silly Walks (we used to do this in HS)
Crunchy Frogs.
Bring Out Yer Dead (movie)

So many..The Lumberjack Song Is My Favorite




BARBER:
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.


MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.


BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

 

[tmarquez]

Mr. Creosote is a favorite of mine and DD (don't tell anyone, I'm pretty sure this makes me a bad mom to anyone outside of this thread).

 

[legalsea]

All right then, how about some "Constitutional Peasant" from Holy Grail.

Dennis: We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week...
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: ... But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting...
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis:... by a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs...
Arthur: [getting bored] Be quiet.
Dennis:... but by a two thirds majority, in the case of more major —
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Dennis' Mother: Well I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
Dennis' Mother: How'd you become king, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up! Will you shut up?! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!

 

[Desiree]

There are just so many great quotes from all Monty Pyton series and movies. Too hard to pick a favorite!

 

[Cogswel_Cogs]

I love the Skit where Johnn Gleese is interviewing Graham.
Puts him thorugh heel.
Then tells him the jobs been filled already

Gleeseavid
Graham:Yes
Gleese:Sure
Graham:Yes
Gleese: Okay David Sure
Graham: No
Gleese :Then Why did you say you were

 

[WildernessBride]

I also vote for The Cheese Shop.

Cleese: Do you, in fact, have any cheese on the premises?
Clerk: No, sir. I was deliberately wasting your time.
Cleese: Then I'm going to have to shoot you.
Clerk: very well sir.
(bang!)
Cleese: What a senseless waste of human life.

 

[WildernessBride]

Crunchy Frog.....the other candies are so funny, Rams Bladder Cup: We use choicest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish ram's bladder, emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds whipped into a fondue and garnished with lark's vomit.

Lark's vomit?!
And of course the crunchy frog description cracks me up too,.....
We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose.

That's as maybe, it's still a frog.

What else?

Well don't you even take the bones out?

If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy would it?

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Choose just one? How could you?

Okay, there's this scene in Holy Grail right before the knights get to Camelot (Camelot...Camelot...It's only a model), and they're just riding around and crossing a small stream. Well, there's a peasant in the background hitting the stream with a stick. No, I don't know why. It's never explained. Most people never even see it (unless they've seen the film 100 times before). And for all those reasons, it would have to be my favorite joke. Why? Why is he hitting the water?! What prupose is he serving!? It's utter madness!!

As for songs that are both funny and educational, you can't do better than the Universe Song. I am so teaching that to my children when I have them.

The universe itself keeps on expanding, and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, the speed of light you know
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is
So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
Cause there's (DIS inappropriate word) all down here on earth!

 

[ElizK]

"Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!"

Ya know, it just doesn't sound the same without the French accent...

You English K-nig-hits!

 

[RVGal]

I love the Ministry of Silly Walks. I can quote most of Holy Grail. How about where they argue over riding a horse vs. banging the coconuts together. My favorite line, "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"

 

[fltwinmom]

"Bring me a shrubbery! One that looks nice - not too expensive"

And this one:

Have you ever noticed that Monty Python is something that people either "get" or "don't"?

 

[fltwinmom]

I love the Ministry of Silly Walks. I can quote most of Holy Grail. How about where they argue over riding a horse vs. banging the coconuts together. My favorite line, "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"

OMG....

 

[KrnB]

I love the Ministry of Silly Walks. I can quote most of Holy Grail. How about where they argue over riding a horse vs. banging the coconuts together. My favorite line, "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"

I was thinking of that scene too, along with the whole discussion of the sparrows, whether it is a European or African swallow.

Soldier #1: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
Soldier #1: Pull the other one!
Arthur: I am, ...and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Soldier #1: What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes!
Soldier #1: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Soldier #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--
Soldier #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Soldier #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Soldier #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Soldier #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
Soldier #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Soldier #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Soldier #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Soldier #1: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Soldier #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
Soldier #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah...
Soldier #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
[clop clop clop]
Soldier #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
Soldier #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Soldier #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
Soldier #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Soldier #2: Well, why not?

And of course, the Bridge of Death scene towards the end...

Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name?
Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I-- I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

I'm glad I stumbled on this over my lunch break - I could use a good laugh.

 

[WildernessBride]

I was thinking of that scene too, along with the whole discussion of the sparrows, whether it is a European or African swallow.



And of course, the Bridge of Death scene towards the end...



I'm glad I stumbled on this over my lunch break - I could use a good laugh.

I'm glad!!!!!