An Observation...Re: In-Laws

[Kies99]

Just a quick little observation I had...


Have you ever noticed that nobody here seems to get along with their in-laws???

What do you think their spouse thinks of their family????



**I jest...just seems like a lot of "crazy i-law" stories.***

 

[ols386]

It seems like it's mostly the wives that don't get along with the in-laws, but maybe that's because there are more women posters on here than men.

I bet there are some husbands that don't care for their in-laws, but most men I know seem rather indifferent to their in-laws.

 

[Pakey]

Just a quick little observation I had...


Have you ever noticed that nobody here seems to get along with their in-laws???

What do you think their spouse thinks of their family????



**I jest...just seems like a lot of "crazy i-law" stories.***

I've noticed that too. I've been married a long time and I have my husband's family and then I have 3 daughters in law. I get along with all of them; there's never been any drama.

I read some of these stories here, especially women talking about their mothers in law, and I cringe thinking perhaps my daughters in law feel this way about me and I don't know it.

 

[Poohforyou]

Actually, my DH really likes my family probably more than his own. I have 3 brothers who he enjoys paling around with and my mom treats him like another son.

I like my DH's extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles etc). I never had much of a relationship with my MIL but I can't say I didn't like her. I never knew my FIL.

 

[ReneeA]

I've noticed it as well. It's surprising to me because I adore, adore, adore my DH's family.

I wonder if it could be related to how you were raised, and what you saw growing up? My parents were both very, very close to each other's family. They were married 24 years (divorced now) and 14 years after the divorce, are still on friendly terms with the other family. They called their inlaws "mom and dad", and treated them as they did their own.

I do the same for mine, as does my sister. My sister's inlaws live next door, and they share 240 acres with them. She loves her DH's family as much as I love mine.

 

[Metsfan520]

I think it's simply because people tend to start venting threads more often than "I love my in-laws" threads.

 

[snykymom]

Why would someone who doesn't have problems with their in-laws ever post on a board like this? Mostly the drama comes out.

That being said, look at this thread:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2709014

 

[dzorn]

99.9% of the time I my in-laws

Denise in MI

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I didn't really get along with my MIL, especially after our first baby was born. She had issues with balance and strength - couldn't go down a few steps without holding on with two hands and couldn't get up out of a chair without pushing up with her hands and taking a few moments to steady herself. She also had poor judgement. She would start crossing the street without looking, open the front door without seeing who it was first, or just leave the front door unlocked (not commonly done around here). She insisted on babysitting our newborn by herself and wanted to get a stroller to take him around to her neighbors. We just didn't think it was safe and couldn't do it. We told her she could come to our house to visit anytime and we would be happy to bring him to her house. She insisted that she wanted to babysit him alone and if we didn't allow it, we would be ignoring her role as a grandmother.

One day in 1996, she crossed the street without looking and was hit by a car. She passed away almost immediately. Later that night, my husband tearfully said, "I just keep thinking about what would have happened if she'd had the baby with her." We were left with some unresolved issues, but we still stand by our decision to protect our baby.

 

[Mkrop]

For me, my MIL (and FIL) grew on me or they mellowed or something. It wasnt until after we had kids that she kind of took a step back from her constant criticizing.

But there are days I just shake my head when FIL will come out with something that very might be construed racist, or my MIL still tries to tell me or critique how I do things. I mean really why do you need to tell your DIL that she is cooking a hot dog for her own son (my DS) the wrong way. Just zip it! For me it is little things like that they make me grateful that there visit isnt too long.

But surprisingly we had a great WDW trip with them, and I was nervous after reading all the horror stories.

I think DH likes my family. My one brother and him butted heads for awhile but seem fine now. Now I think DH loves my mom and is always supportive when she is sick etc, but I dont know if he thinks she is strong woman overall and I know that bothers him. But his mother is extremely strong, sometimes too much, so I think he just doesnt understand how she cant be like that.

After I have read some of the stories on here, I realize that my ILs are not that bad, frustrating as heck at times, but they love us and they love my kids, that is what counts.

 

[CKBear]

I would have loved to have had a good relationship with my MIL, but she quit talking to my husband the weekend before we got engaged, because I asked if I could spend the day with him and her while we were down visiting on vacation. There were obviously other issues brewing for quite some time, but up until that point I thought I was being a good girlfriend at the time and trying to have a healthy relationship with her. I feel bad for my husband b/c he does miss her, but she nevers returns any of his calls when he tries to reach out and reestablish contact.

 

[scrapquitler]

Actually, my DH really likes my family probably more than his own.

Same here. My DH says that my parents always treat him better and with more respect than his own parents. Sad when your DH says "Lets go visit YOUR mom instead of mine".

 

[Praying Colonel]

I think it's simply because people tend to start venting threads more often than "I love my in-laws" threads.

Yep--kind of like the "I Love My Bank" commercial.

Me, I love my in-laws and I'm so thankful they made me feel a part of their family.

 

[tlbwriter]

Lots of people just have bad inlaws, just like other people have bad bosses or bad exes. No reason to assume there's something wrong with the way they were raised.

 

[SaraJayne]

I like my MIL and adore DH's brother's (and one SIL). I don't have brother's, so it was like adding two of them when we got married.

 

[ReneeA]

Lots of people just have bad inlaws, just like other people have bad bosses or bad exes. No reason to assume there's something wrong with the way they were raised.

I didn't mean to insinuate that there was something wrong with the way people were being raised...I understand that there are some bad eggs out there.

However, I have a SIL that married into the very same family that I did, and she's hateful to them. She's been in the family for 22 years now, I know for a fact that every single one of them held an olive branch out to her several times over. She has just finally! started to mellow in the past 3 years.

Oddly enough, she talks about the fact that her mother treated her father's family like 2nd class citizens. She will talk about what great people they are/were and can't understand what the problem is that her mother has with them. Then does the same to her DH's family. I really believe it can be modeled behavior.

 

[njmom47]

My MIL is wonderful. FIL was ill when I came into the family so I didn't really get to know him. DH (youngest of 7) has a great relationship with all of his siblings except for 1 brother (but it's not him who's causing trouble, it's his wife) and 1 sister (who has been life-long best friends with aforementioned brother's wife).

 

[klhill]

I love my MIL I would just never lend her any money (neither would my husband).

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think it's simply because people tend to start venting threads more often than "I love my in-laws" threads.

I agree, who bothers to say something when things are ok.

It's a lose lose, if someone says how great they have it they are bragging but if they have a problem they will get slammed for being wrong/needy/petty_____.

 

[shortbun]

I don't think you've ever read anything posted here by me in a very negative light about my in-laws. They are 'Ozzie and Harriet', love my kid to bits and have always been nothing short of respectful to me. I love 'em!!