Or...actually... since 2005.
But who's paying attention to this drivel anyhow.
I can say pretty much what I want without fear of flames(ish) and bickering.
I think.
Giddyup! Then.
'Cause it's
PAINTBRUSH DAY!
Oops. I mean it's
PAINTBRUSH DAY!
Of course... it was also
PAINTBRUSH DAY! But since you're only supposed to get one per family. Let's ignore all mention of the
blue paintbrush. Shall we. That's only gonna get Me(l) flamed.
So... this is the story. We only found one paintbrush. A yellow one. NOT a blue one too.
Oh.
Screw it. Let's not pretend. Twist the story. And appease all the uptight Disney Rule Followers. Here.
I'll tell it the way it happened. With the blemishes, public urinations, temper tantrums, bad dancing, lack of self-control, over-spending, magical moments, terrible photos and all the other crap. Because that's what we're about.
Except for magical moments.
Those are only for the classier, richer folk.
And Fidel Castro. As he celebrated his recent 80th birthday. So... Happy Birthday Fidel! I think.
You know... The General, my beloved/ruthless Mother, is only two years younger. Than Fidel. Born in the Year of the Mouse. 1928. That's also my Pin Number. Shhhhh... don't tell DH. Anywho... it seems to me that they'd make a lovely couple. The General and The Dictator.
But... my mind is wandering. Again. So... back to Tom Sawyer's Island which is surrounded by the Bay of... errr... the Rivers of America.
The five happyhaunts ride hard up through Main St. Pausing briefly to try to bend the stroller's wheel back upright(ish), take a quick picture of the Castle, and apologize to Tommy who had unfortunately had his heel jammed pretty hard by the OTHER stroller wheel. When he tried to put his foot down. In mid-flight.
So we dashed through the park. Squeaking, creaking, bouncing and sweating.
And, then... swearing. By Mellyman. Under his breath. Yet directed towards myself. When he realized that we were EARLY!
YES!
Early. Again. For the opening of Tom Sawyer Island.
Heh heh.
I reminded him that we, as a group, are incapable of getting ANYWHERE early. Ever. So... he should just take my lying and deception as a sign of love.
Heh heh.
They decided to go off towards Splash Mountain and BTMR. And do that. Leaving me in line for the raft to TSI. All alone.
BUT FIRST IN LINE!
BABY!
I waited for about 10 minutes by myself. First I hid the stroller around the corner. Then I put on my DVC backpack. Looked at the pictures from the night before. And then realized that it was time to amuse myself.
Or die.
I am about as patient as a five year old.
I decided to boldly go where no man has gone before.
The Ladies Room.
Near Splash Mountain. I ran. Because my stomach was STILL a wee bit "sick". But... not really. Plus... I like to run. It's faster than walking. Go figure. AND... I decided to see if I really had to ZZUB.
I didn't.
But I DID, in fact, discover what a BUZZ. Is.
Use your imagination.
Like Viking Pluto:
THEN.
I wandered back to get back into line. To be the FIRST in line. Again.
BUT NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
There was a family. There. In line. Already.
In the front of the line. In MY spot.
CRAP!
I decided to go for complete honesty.
Me: Hey! Hi there! Nice day, eh? Wow. Super. Uhhhh... I was in line. First. Before you all. But... then I had to go to the bathroom. Got out of line. You know. All that.
Husband: I know.
Me: Come again.
Wife: We noticed you in line as we headed over to BTMR.
Me: Oh.
Wife: You were probably here, early, for
something or
other . Saving a spot for your family. (she smiled)
And just like THAT... it was ON!
They were PAINTBRUSH WARRIORS, TOO! Unafraid to challenge us. Unafraid to compete. And unafraid to steal my bloody spot in line. And mock me. About it.
I loved them all. Instantly.
Me(l): Oh! I get it! Well... good for you, then. You get on first. You'll need a headstart on us. Anyway. Have you ever done this before?
Little girl: MOM! Sshhhh!
Husband: She KNOWS. She knows, Megan.
Littler girl: About the paintbrushes?
Mother: Yes. Her family is going to try and find them too.
Me(l): Yeah. And don't bother looking all cute and red-haired and precious. Like you are. It's not gonna stop us from making you cry.
Husband: You'd make a little girl cry?
Me(l): Right after I make her Daddy cry.
Husband: Ha ha!
That's when the other four happyhaunt reappeared. And I looked at them and said two words: THEY KNOW!
And looked at the other family.
Who looked back at all of us. Sizing us up.
The teams consisted of...
Them: Tall thin, pale father. Short, thin, pale mother. Two little cute red-haired girls. And Grandma.
Us: Us.
My money was on us. Quite frankly.
The raft captain emerged. And walked up the path to unhook the rope. And let us onto the raft.
I let them go first.
Because they were.
And... because I knew the odds were with us. There was NO WAY Grandma was getting off that raft before Calvin. And Beth.
I just knew it.
They were smart, though. They got on the raft and moved immediately to the left to stand right beside the entrance/exit way.
Grandma moved towards the back of the raft to stand by herself.
Smart. Safe. Sucky.
Granny wasn't playin'. It seemed.
A few other people got on and they seemed to not have a clue why they were on the first raft.
Except for this one other young couple without kids. My feeling was that they were in too. They were watching us. Watching them. Watching us.
Are you feeling the Disney LOVE? Right about now?
We left the dock and our captain gave us the little speech about Tom and Huck slacking off and leaving their paintbrushes around the island. And about finding them and getting a special prize.
Yeah. Yeah.
Let's GO!
We docked and he tied up and then walked over to unhook the rope. And release us all.
There was a flurry of activity as we all bunched around.
Rope dropped.
We were off!
We were the second family off the raft but I could see Calvin had quickly overtaken them and was first running towards the fort. Followed by the other dad, Beth, the redheads and their mom. And Mellyman.
I decided to take Tommy and run the other way. Up and around towards Aunt Polly's. Take a left and head up over the hill.
Because I had found one up there before.
Within seconds I spied one. ONE YELLOW PAINTBRUSH!
Whoooo Hoooo!
On the side of the path. Just slightly hidden by bushes.
Tommy spied it too. This time he knew EXACTLY why we were here. And what we were lookin' for.
He ran and picked it up. Waved it in the air at me and said, " Mommy! Press 'Play'!"
Heh heh.
I pressed his chest. In front of his heart.
And he started to dance. The Dance of VICTORY. Actually, it was more like the Chicken Dance. So... the Dance of VICTORIOUS CHICKENS!
Huh?
No matter. He had found himself a paintbrush and was mightly glad about it.
Then I heard the pounding of feet and turned to see Calvin coming up the hill towards us. With ANOTHER paintbrush! A blue one.
I had gone over the rules with them beforehand. Just so that everyone knew there was only one per family and there would be NO sulking or hard feelings. And all that.
Calvin spied Tommy waving his brush around.
"Holy CRAP!" yelled my fine refined boy, "Holy CRAPOLY! We have to ditch one!"
"Yeah! Yeah! I know!" I yelled back, "But... aren't you forgetting something? Calvin?"
And we raised our arms up and danced like our butts were being tugged back and forth by invisible ropes. We shouted and whooped it up. Mama got BACK! AND FRONT!
And... NO dancing SKILLZ. Whatsoever. FYI.
We ditched one of the brushes and headed out to find the other haunts.
Hooked up with Mellyman and Beth. Who were mighty happy that we had found a brush. Especially that TOMMY had found a brush. Because he was pretty thrilled.
This is Tommy holding the paintbrush high and proud.
This is me on the raft. Waving and taunting other Disney Guests with our paintbrush.
Like they cared.
At all.
That was our prize.
And THIS:
WAS WHERE I WANTED TO GO NEXT. TO CELEBRATE OUR WIN! PROPERLY.
I was dressed up in my favourite shirt and EVERYTHING!
But. No. It was not to be. Sadly.
The competitive, redundant, ride-reiterators still had to get stuck in Frontierland. As usual.
AGAIN.
To be continued. Up next: Frontierland. Frontierland. Frontierland. And lunch. At Liberty Tree. Tavern.
I thought we were getting a new installment on this War and Peace: Disney style trip report. Maybe tomorrow ...
And I'm sure LaLa, busymom, hucifer, zzub, horsegirl and vwguy do too. 
